by Lori L. Otto
CHAPTER 18 - NATE
Before fifth period, when I normally have independent study, I run out to my car to retrieve the tacky plastic sword for my presentation of the Squire’s Tale. I’d considered not bringing it at all, but Miss Spindler said she’d deduct twenty points from our presentation if we didn’t have props. I was sure that my shirt wouldn’t cut it, a black tee that was given to me by distant relatives when we went to visit them in England a few years ago. Printed on the front was the Corliss coat of arms. It was my mother’s maiden name, a name she was proud of. I remember when we got back from the trip, I’d begged her to let me change my last name, complaining that Wilson was too boring and nondescript.
“It’s not about the name,” Mom told me, “it’s about the man who passed it on to you.”
I never asked her again. She would be proud of Corliss. I would forever wear the name Wilson with honor. Maybe not on a shirt – but in my heart, my father would always be with me.
I strap the belt around my waist and stick the blade through the holster, feeling rather stupid on my way back in to the building. Surely other people will have much more embarrassing costumes. The last bell rings, and I realize I’m late.
As I walk down the hallway to the classroom I only visit for about five minutes an afternoon on any given day, I spot someone who will definitely be ridiculed more than me. A girl with long, blonde hair fastened in two braids that fall down both sides of her back is wearing a full-length cream-colored dress. She paces back and forth near the doorway, her arms covered with flowing sleeves, her attention focused further down the hall.
I lose my breath when she turns around at the sound of my footsteps. “Nate, where have you been?” Emi asks, rushing up to me. Her shoulders and neck are framed with green velvet. The dress is more low-cut than anything I’ve seen her wear before. I remember she was worried that her mom wouldn’t be able to make it fit her, but she looks stunning. It fits her perfectly. She could be a bride, which makes sense considering the story she’s about to tell her class about. “Hello?” She waves her hands in front of my face.
I’d been taking her in fully, noticing how the cream color blended with her pale skin and the velvet brought out her eyes, only they look a different color now. I laugh to myself, realizing I’ll never understand those eyes. “Sorry, but you literally took my breath away.”
“Like, no one else is dressed up,” she says, rolling her eyes.
“It wouldn’t matter if they were, Em. I don’t think anyone would notice them.”
Her cheeks turn a bright pink, and the panic on her face is softened with a grateful smile. “Thank you.”
“Why aren’t you in class?”
“Miss Spindler wanted to welcome the parents first–”
“Did he come?” I ask her.
“He’s here.”
“Where?”
She peeks through the small window and points him out to me, a balding man who’s a little overweight. He looks uncomfortable. I scan the room for my mother, and see her sitting on the other side of the room next to Emi’s mom. They’re whispering quietly to one another.
“Our moms have met,” I tell her.
“I introduced them on their way in,” she says.
“Did you say anything to your dad?” She looks down briefly, then shakes her head. “It’s okay,” I assure her. “Are you ready?”
“I’m nervous,” she says. “I always get this way before a performance,” she explains, “but I’ll be okay once I get in there... as long as I can avoid him,” she adds.
“I’ll sit over there,” I say, pointing to a desk on the side of the room with windows, in front of our moms. “Just remember to watch me.”
“Okay,” she agrees.
“I need to go in,” I tell her. “I don’t want Miss Spindler to think I bailed.”
“Okay,” she says again.
“Good luck.” I wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly, hoping to calm her nerves. She nods when I pull away, and I hear her reciting lines as I walk into the classroom. Reciting lines. She’s going to think I look like an idiot when I get up there and try to wing it.
Miss Spindler is talking to one of Emi’s classmates in the corner, and everyone else is chatting amongst themselves. I give a little wave to Mom and Mrs. Hennigan before I glance across the room. Her father is looking at me. I set my books on the desk, but go directly toward him, taking a deep breath on the way.
“Mr. Hennigan?” I ask.
“Yes?”
“I’m Nate Wilson,” I introduce myself. “I’m a friend of Emi’s.” I extend my hand, and he shakes it firmly. “She’s told me a lot about you.”
“If that’s true, I’m surprised you even came over here,” he says with an anxious laugh.
“She’ll come around,” I tell him. “Give her time.”
His brows furrow in confusion, as if I’ve caught him off-guard. “Of course,” he answers quickly. “I will.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say, returning to the desk just in time for Miss Spindler to welcome our parents to the presentation of the Canterbury Tales. The blinds are all pulled up, letting the bright sunlight into the room. She shields her eyes as she explains the story and the assignment to everyone.
“Each student has five minutes to tell us a little about the character who tells the story, as well as the tale that their character shares with the other members of the group. Our first storyteller is Emi Hennigan, and she will be explaining the Knight’s Tale.”
Miss Spindler walks to the door and goes out of the room briefly. Our teacher appears once more, telling the next student who’s presenting that he can go prepare in the hallway. After he leaves, Emi walks into the room gracefully, her head bowed down to the floor. She looks sweet and demure, just as Emily should look, just as Emi wanted to look today. The blonde wig is pretty on her, but the color looks unnatural against her skin. Even still, she looks beautiful.
Emi folds her hands in front of her and starts speaking about the knight. She walks slowly across the front of the class, back and forth, keeping her eyes low but projecting her voice, as she talks of chivalry and honor and respect and love. Once she finishes with the character description, she stops in the middle of the class and finally lifts her head.
The sunlight catches her eyes, bringing back the color I’d learned, that I’d recreated, that I’d committed to memory and would never forget.
The second she starts speaking as Emily, her voice now softer, more feminine and delicate, her focus comes directly to me. I swear my heart stops. Again, I can’t breathe. A smile involuntarily spans my face. She smiles right back at me, and I can hear other people turning to stare in my direction, but I can’t look away from her.
The eyes of Emily hath slain me.2
Although I’d only read the Knight’s Tale once, the line stuck with me then and speaks to me now. No, it shouts at me. Heart ceases to beat. Air refuses to enter my lungs. Dead. Slain. Unable to go on.
The eyes of Emily hath slain me.
Unable to go on without her.
“Nate, let’s be friends,” I hear her voice in my head. I watch her lips move, but they aren’t in sync with what I hear. “Not today, but someday.”
The eyes of Emily hath slain me.
What have I agreed to?
I keep her steady gaze as my breath returns in quick gasps. She breaks character slightly, I can tell. She looks concerned, and I realize I’m sweating. I still can’t look away. I nod at her, signaling that I’m okay, and she continues on. No one else seemed to notice her pause. My friend – just a friend– relates the story of Palamon and Arcite, the two cousins who vie for Emily’s love.
Arcite, who prays to Mars for strength to win the battle– to win her hand. Palamon, who prays only to end up with Emily, however Venus chooses to make it happen. Venus, Mars – Zeus himself – I’d pray to whomever I needed to, but above all, I’d fight
for her. Not today, but someday, I will fight for her.
Emi had told me that she thought the princess in the story would have picked Palamon. She said he loved her more, but I don’t believe either man loved her more than the other. They were equal suitors, comparable men who did everything for her love. By doing that, they’re both respectable, both worthy of her.
In the fable of these two deserving men, though, Palamon was defeated and lost his right to be with her – at first, anyway. Arcite fought a good battle, and he won his fair maiden. Even though his fate was sealed, Emily would be by his side all the remaining days of his life. How had he beat Palamon?
He abided by the rules.
I’ll play by her rules.
Arcite knew the prize, and never forgot how cherished she was.
I know that I need her. I think that I love her.
Arcite knew how to win her.
I know what I have to do. When she’s ready for love, I’ll fight for her.
It was courtly love, and chivalry, honor and bravery and patience – such patience and perseverance – that brought Emily and her rightful knight together. I am capable of all of these things. I’m capable of them all today, but patience is what will bring Emi to me, the man who will love her best...
Someday.
1Concrete Blonde. “Joey.” Bloodletting. IRS Records, 1990.
2Ackroyd, Peter. The Canterbury Tales: A Retelling. Viking, 2009. E-book.
3Radiohead. “Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong.” My Iron Long. Parlophone, 1994.
Lost and Found - an excerpt from Chapter 1 - Emi
Nine years is a long time to hold on to a feeling– one that I felt for only ten seconds of my life. Logically, I know it was twenty seconds at most, but the impact it left made it seem like forever. If I allow myself to think about that night– and I never do– I can remember how the air in my lungs felt completely effervescent, how my chest tightened around my racing heart, how my skin seemed to feel everything around me. Hands. Lips. A cool, fall breeze. I even thought I could feel the stars sparkling above, prickly and scintillating in their luminescence.
Nine years is a long time, but with a feeling like that, I doubt I’ll ever let it go completely. It’s a shame I don’t have a good sense of what actually caused that feeling, but my imagination has filled in the blanks left by the drunken oblivion of that night.
I chose stupid ways to rebel in college. Of course, drinking was the norm for most students at school, but my actions back then lingered more toward self-centered and inconsiderate. Had I known I’d see Nate at any time that evening, I never would have consumed as much as I had. To this day, I mostly drink in moderation when we’re around one another. A better friend may give up drinking entirely, but even he has a little alcohol every now and then. And he doesn’t have any friends better than me, nor do I have any that rank above him.
As I wait for Nate, hurriedly getting ready for a night out with his current love interest, I wonder if he makes all women feel the way I felt for those ten glorious seconds. That would explain the long string of girlfriends. But maybe that feeling was fleeting. Maybe it was only meant to happen once, to stir up those emotions and questions for those brief seconds. Maybe other women acted on that fleeting feeling... and then maybe it just resulted in fleeting relationships. After all, they’re just emotions. By nature, emotions are not stable, nor are they reliable. They come and go. Just as his girlfriends do. In quick succession. They come and they go...
Does it make any sense at all to continue to search for that feeling? I shrug my shoulders as if I’m answering my own question, having my own conversation with myself. Whether it makes sense or not, I’m on a mission to find it again someday, with someone. I just hope that my pursuit doesn’t keep me from seeing things in the periphery. From seeing that what I’m looking for is actually right in front of me.
“Well?” he asks, my eyes focusing on what I would call a blouse on any day. It almost doesn’t compute. Men don’t wear blouses. Nate does not wear blouses.
“You’re not wearing that.” I can’t contain my laugh.
“What?” he asks, lingering in the doorway to his bathroom.
“That... that... is it a shirt?” I ask, cringing at the light pink button down with... are those ruffles? I take a few steps closer to confirm the strange quarter-inch of fabric peeking out from under the center hem.
“Yes, it’s a shirt,” Nate argues, his voice not as confident as it was only seconds before.
“Who picked that out?”
“My personal shopper,” he defends his clothing choice. “It’s Italian... or French, I don’t remember.”
“Wait, your personal shopper. Is she a jilted lover?” I ask him.
“She wasn’t at the time,” he confesses as he takes a long, hard look at himself in the mirror.
“Well, I think it’s safe to say she didn’t want any other women hitting on her man. You can’t wear that. Seriously. I don’t know what kind of man would wear that sort of thing. Gay men have much better taste. And straight men would run screaming. Wait, why aren’t you running, or screaming?”
“Damn it, Emi,” he says, frustrated, practically tearing the monstrosity of a shirt off of his body. “I don’t have time for this.” He walks quickly back to his closet and takes a look inside, stretching his back subtly. I hate it when he walks around without his shirt, and decide to tell him so.
“I hate it when you walk around without your shirt on. It... bothers me.” And yet, I can’t tear my eyes away.
“I know you do. But did you not just tell me ten seconds ago that I couldn’t wear that shirt? You asked for it.” He throws the pink thing at me playfully. “What should I wear then?”
“A regular American dress shirt, Nate. Don’t you have anything like that?” I push aside t-shirt after t-shirt in his closet until I find a pressed white button-down shirt, still in the plastic bag from the cleaners. “Here.”
He takes it from me and walks back into the bathroom. “You need a belt, too,” I remind him, catching a glimpse of the waistband of his light blue boxers underneath his loose-fitting jeans. “And you’ll probably want to wear an undershirt with that,” I yell to him.
“What else, Mom?” he teases me, crossing the room to his dresser and pulling out a thin, white t-shirt. “And I’m not wearing jeans, don’t worry. I’m wearing that.” He points to a hanger holding a pair of black pants and a matching jacket.
“Wow, slacks and a coat. Looks suspiciously like a suit... This must be getting serious. Did you get her a corsage, too?”
“Shut it,” he warns me with a smile. “Well at least my wardrobe choices are keeping your mind off of... what’s his name?”
“David,” I remind him for the twentieth time, watching him pull on the tight undershirt as he goes back into the bathroom. I examine the pink blouse and put my arms through the sleeves. “Hey, can I wear this?” I cinch the ends at my waist and push my way into the room next to him, looking at myself in the mirror. I flop the cuffs around, trying to find my hands.
He laughs and turns to me, folding up the sleeves until my limbs are revealed. “I thought you wanted him to like you... not run, screaming.”
I roll my eyes at him as I lean up against the doorjamb. After a few seconds, the worry from earlier comes back. “Do you think he will?”
“Will what?”
“Run.” I sigh heavily, turning to walk back into his guest bedroom. “And scream,” I mumble loudly enough for him to hear.
“Why would he do that?” he asks, standing in the doorway. “I mean, aside from the shirt.” The sunlight dancing through the large windows makes his brown eyes sparkle. I involuntarily smile.
“What if he doesn’t like me?” I ask him.
Nate throws his hands in the air and scoffs at me. “Emi, we’ve been over this,” he says, going into the bathroom. I hear him brushing his teeth a short while later. I collapse back on his guest bed, where I had spen
t the earlier part of the day watching him paint, rambling on about the date I had tonight. I had intended to do my freelance work, but I couldn’t concentrate. Because of my nervous chatter, he hadn’t gotten much accomplished, either. He preferred quiet and was always very focused– never very social– when he was painting.
“But we broke up, like, seven years ago. I haven’t even seen him in three,” I yell to him. “And he was married then. And, like, what if he’s fat and bald?”
“You’re not that shallow, Emi. You liked him once... enough to give it up to him,” he laughs under his breath.
“I wanted to get it over with,” I relate to my friend. “He was cute and nice and he wanted me.”
“You liked him,” he reminds me. “A lot.”
“I know I did,” I sigh, standing up and walking toward the bathroom. I lean against his hallway wall, watching him get ready. “What if he thinks I’m ugly?”
“Seriously, Em? Look at yourself,” he says, pulling me back into the bathroom and holding my shoulders, pointing me in the direction of the mirror. “You’re not ugly. There is no way any man, woman or child would think you were ugly.” He glares at me before letting me go, tousling his unruly, wet hair with his fingers.
“Mousey, then?”
“Nope.”
“Average...” I murmur.
“You’re not even that. And, Emi, remember. He sought you out.”
“I know...” I linger. “But what if he takes one look at me tonight and pretends he doesn’t know me?”
“Again with this,” he sighs, rolling his eyes.
“I never sent him a recent picture. What if he expects me to look just like I did back then? I mean, he doesn’t know what I look like these days.”
“And he apparently doesn’t care. You’re just as cute as you were back then, Em. Cuter, even. Trust me.” He always knows just what to say.
I did like David, a lot, many years ago. I was surprised to reconnect with him online a few months ago. He found my email through the NYU alumni network. His first few messages were friendly, but distant. Eventually, he told me that he had divorced his wife earlier in the year. I had to admit, I hated to see marriages fail, but I was a little excited that I might get another chance with him.
We were cordial and flirty through messages and phone calls, but he hadn’t asked to see me. I was beginning to think he wouldn’t until he casually brought up New Year’s Eve one day last week. I told him my roommate and I were having a party, so I invited him to come. He accepted the invitation with no hesitation.
“Why are you feeling so insecure tonight?”
“He didn’t like me enough back then,” I remind Nate.
“The timing was wrong,” he mimics my voice. “It wasn’t that he didn’t like you.”
“I know,” I pout. “The timing was all wrong.” David was an over-achiever, like me, very busy with school. His dream was to go to Los Angeles to become a screenwriter, and he focused all of his free-time trying to realize that dream. Eventually, I relented, not wanting to get in the way of his life goals– and selfishly needing more attention than he could give me. I never harbored any resentment. It was a nice relationship while it lasted.
“Well, I’m sure tonight will be fine.” He touches my chin briefly on his way to the closet. “Go drink a glass of wine while I finish getting dressed. You didn’t even open that bottle from last week.”
“Good idea.” I keep my back to him, giving him some privacy to dress, as I pour a glass of my favorite red. My curiosity was piqued, but Nate and I were never going to be anything more than friends. He was attractive– no, scratch that, he was hot– but we had an arrangement. I liked our arrangement. He was the best friend I’d ever had.
To tonight, I think to myself, lifting the glass and sipping my drink.
He grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator after pulling on the rest of his suit. The ends of his black tie hang loosely around his neck.
He takes a long drink of water and points to his necktie.
“Are you ever going to learn to do this yourself? I won’t always be here.” I set my wine down and begin to arrange the ends into a knot. “And where’s the step stool?” He begins to walk backwards to another corner of the kitchen, pulling me along when I don’t let go of his neckwear, slowly kicking the stool out to me. I stand on the second step, finding it easier to do this particular task when he isn’t towering a foot above me.
“I can,” he says. “It just never turns out right... and I’d rather it be crooked than lose my patience over something that’s going to be undone in a matter of hours.” He smugly raises one eyebrow.
“Right,” I say, tightening the knot– tight– against his neck. He coughs dramatically and pulls it a little looser.
His hand draws up to my face, stopping abruptly, his finger lingering inches from my mouth. “Um, you have a little wine on your top lip.” He stares at it while I stare back at him. I lick it from my lips and smile with a slight blush.
“Thanks.”
“Thank you, Emi,” he says after clearing his throat, clutching the knot once more. “How do I look?”
“Your hair’s a mess.”
“You always say that’s a good thing,” he says, confused.
“Yeah it is,” I sigh. I’d never met another man who could pull off that look in any setting, amongst any crowd. Women everywhere he went would fall at his feet... hence the fact that he was never without one. “You look fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Good. Great. Amazing. All of the above,” I say nonchalantly. He was the epitome of handsome, and I know every detail of him like I know my own– after all, he was often my subject in portraiture class in both high school and college. I know the perfect mix of brown and yellow and white paints that would recreate that messy hair that often covers his light brown eyes. I can haphazardly paint brushstrokes in every direction and it would still look like the perfect head of hair on him. His brows are just a shade darker, his lashes long, outlining a stare so intense at times that it can go right through me. His natural tan coloring always makes me look even paler when we walk side by side. He has a strong jawline with angular cheekbones that exhibit their own natural blush. His nose is well-proportioned to his face, and turned up ever-so-slightly at the tip.
And his lips... I won’t even go there. “What were we talking about?” I ask him.
“You were telling me I look amazing.”
“Right, so... um, are you going back to her place tonight?” I ask.
“I’m not sure,” he answers. “I haven’t planned that far. Why?”
“This place is a wreck.”
“Well, that’s why you need to get your crap and leave,” he jokes with me. “The cleaning lady will be here any minute to do her thing.”
“Nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh?”
“Well, if she had come this morning, you would have still come over and spread your mess out and made it look like this,” he gestures to the room. “My mess is all confined to the guest room.” I peek in and see his paint supplies strewn about the small bedroom.
“Wait, you’re making her come in on New Year’s Eve?”
“It’s her job. I pay her well,” he reasons.
“I’ll pick up my things,” I mumble, rolling my eyes at him.
“I know you will. But seriously, I’ve got to get going if I’m going to make these reservations.”
“Were they hard to get?”
“Not for me,” he smiles arrogantly.
“Of course not.” He starts to pick up my design books, stacking them neatly and putting them in my tote bag. “To-go cup for my drink?” I ask, holding my newly-poured glass of wine.
“You can finish your drink.”
“Thank you.” I lean against his kitchen island while he takes a seat on the sofa closest to the door, typing something on his phone.
“Hey, are you sure you two can’t just stop by tonight? I might need a
confidence boost,” I plead, knowing he won’t bring his girlfriend by, but wanting to ask anyway. I’d never met Laney, and likely never would.
“No, Em, we’ve got plans.” He smiles.
“I know.”
“You are going to be just fine,” he asserts again, walking over to me as I take the last drink of the wine. “If he’s as smart as you say he is, he will fall in love with you and give you a heart-stopping kiss as the clock strikes midnight. No repeat of last year.”
“Don’t remind me.”
I spent last New Year’s Eve, snowed in, with my brother. Wallowing in each other’s self-pity, we got completely hammered and both of us passed out as the miserable, previous year exited and the new one flitted in with no fanfare whatsoever.
“Speaking of last year, what’s Chris doing tonight?”
“My brother will be entertaining Clara tonight.”
“Well, that should be fun for her.” It would be. My niece loves my brother and his ability to build giant fortresses in his living room out of couch cushions and sheets. She would pretend to be a princess in her castle and bark orders at him. “We’ve got to find a girl for him, for next year,” Nate says.
“Yeah, I know.”
“This is gonna be your year, Em,” he says after a short, contemplative pause. “I just feel it.” He puts his arm around my shoulder and hands me my bag, holding his door open for me. “I’ll walk down with you.”
We ride down the elevator, just the two of us.
“So, we’re still on for tomorrow night, right?” I ask.
“What’s tomorrow night?”
I groan loudly in frustration. “Wicked, Nate. You promised you’d go with me. I swear, if you stand me up, I’ll–”
“I know,” he laughs. “I haven’t forgotten. A night with witches, I can’t wait.”
“Surely you’re not referring to me...”
“Surely not,” he says, ruffling my hair with his hand. “Oh, the spells you cast...” I barely hear him whisper in my ear, a shiver going straight down my spine.
“You’re funny,” I say sarcastically but nearly out of breath as we exit the elevator. The concierge hands him his keys as Nate opens the doors to his building for me. His car is waiting for him in the drive.
“Just call me,” he says as I begin to walk down the sidewalk toward my apartment.
“I will... Like ya, Nate.”
“Like ya, Em.” He gets into his sporty car, revving the engine and pulling out of the drive quickly. He pulls up beside me and stops abruptly, rolling the window down. “Oh, and burn that shirt for me.”
I stroke the ruffle that runs down my center gently and nod to him. As he drives away, I hold the fabric to my nose and breathe in the fresh scent of his fabric softener.
“You left your phone here,” Teresa says to me when I get back to our apartment, her voice irritated. “I’ve been wondering where you were all afternoon. I needed help getting things ready.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell my roommate. “I was helping Nate get dressed for his date.”
“Nate’s, of course. I should have known.”
“What can I do?”
“At this point, just get ready. People are gonna start showing up in about half an hour.” I linger in the kitchen, feeling like I’ve let her down.
“I really am sorry.”
“It’s fine, Em,” she smiles. “It’s all handled. I’m not mad.”
“Okay.”
“What time did you tell David to be here?” she asks.
“Nine-thirty. I figured I would have had enough to drink to be relaxed, but not so much that I would be completely incoherent.”
“Good plan,” she confirms. “And if things are going well, but he doesn’t seem to have the guts to kiss you, what are you going to do?”
“Take matters into my own hands. I know what to do.” We smile at each other. My biggest fear as the year was coming to an end was spending another New Year’s Eve alone, un-kissed. She had listened to me worry about this for weeks. It was silly and romantic... but that’s me. “I’m going to go shower.” I smile to myself, thinking about the kiss that is sure to come tonight. Maybe it would be my year.
By ten-thirty, I’ve decided David’s not showing up without a little prompting. I knew in the back of my head that this was a possibility since I hadn’t heard anything– email, text, or call– from him in three days. I pull out my phone and check for voicemails again. Nothing.
“Just text him,” Teresa yells over the music as she hands me another cosmo on her way back to the living space from our kitchen. “Lure him here. Promise him food, drinks, strip-tease, blow-job, whatever.”
“I’m not that desperate,” I frown.
“Yeah, you kind of are, Emi.” She hugs me. “But I love you.” I look at her, a little hurt, but admitting to myself that she’s right, even if she’s not really sober at the moment. Neither am I.
“Hey, the party’s just getting underway. I’ve saved you a Stella. You still drink those?” I tap my foot nervously, counting the seconds for a response. Still nothing. Fifteen minutes pass. The alcohol lure isn’t working... please, God, don’t make me lose all my dignity.
Thirty minutes later, having given up on David but not willing to give up on the kiss, I scan the room for other options. All the men seem to be partnered up except for two. One is kind of attractive. He catches me looking at him, and I smile and blush, looking away quickly. The other one is... not my type... but the two of them talk, giving me sideways glances as I busy myself with some carrot sticks and one more drink. I peek up from my glass and see Not-My-Type’s hand gently stroking Kind-Of-Attractive’s chest. Fuck, seriously? They entwine their fingers together and laugh. Probably at me.
I go out into the hallway, hoping for privacy but just running into a few of our friends making out in front of our neighbor’s door. I walk to the stairwell and pull out my phone, my fingers pressing numbers feverishly. The phone rings... rings... rings... pick up the damn phone, please... rings... eventually goes to voicemail.
Feeling I have no other options, I send a desperate text.
His response is not just “no” or even “No.” It’s “NO.” Got it.
Completely frustrated, I go back inside, wishing that the entire apartment would clear out so I could crawl far under my covers and hide for days and days. Eventually, the countdown comes...
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... fuck me... another year... without... any... 1.
“Happy New Year!” the room shouts in uniform cheer. I look over to my roommate, her lips locked with her boyfriend du jour, his hands all over her ass. What is so wrong with me? My breathing becomes shallow, as if I’m starting to hyperventilate. I will not burst out in tears right here in front of God and everyone. I will not. Fuck, I won’t!
I almost manage to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat as Teresa glances at me from across the room, and my eyes begin to water, giving me away. She smiles sympathetically, leaving her boyfriend behind.
“Happy New Year, Em,” she says as she throws her arms around me. She kisses my cheek. “It can only get better from here,” she says, smoothing my hair down. “Come on, come get another drink. That fucker isn’t worth a single tear. No man is.”
I wipe away that single tear that managed to drop down my cheek, but I can’t help but think that at least one man is...
~ Lost and Found is available now from your ebook retailer! ~
* Extras for the Emi Lost & Found series and other books can be read in Hollandtown Extras.
SPECIAL THANKS TO
From the Beginning
John T. Perry
Shirley Otto
Clarinda Alcalen
Book Cover Design Goddesses
Christi Allen Curtis
Katrina Boone
The Lovely Model
Alex Wheelus
Beta Readers and Psychologists
Angela Meyer
Nikki Haw
&nbs
p; Daneila Condé
Luna Sol
My Street Team
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
After graduating from the University of Texas at Arlington in 1997 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications, Lori L. Otto worked in the billboard industry for ten years. Frustrated with trying to communicate entire messages in “seven seconds or less,” she decided to leave outdoor advertising and return to her love of creative writing.
Emi Lost & Found | Book One: Lost and Found
Emi Lost & Found | Book Two: Time Stands Still
Emi Lost & Found | Book Three: Never Look Back
Emi Lost & Found | Prequel: Not Today, But Someday
Number Seven: a prequel
Choisie | Book One: Contessa
Choisie | Book Two: Olivia
Choisie | Book Three: Dear Jon
Choisie | Book Three: Livvy
Love Like We Do | Love Like We Do (Side A)
Love Like We Do | Love Like We Do (Side B)
Crossroads: a prequel
Love Will
In the Wake of Wanting
Hollandtown Extras
CONNECT WITH ME ONLINE
Twitter: https://twitter.com/lori_otto
Facebook: https://facebook.com/LoriLOtto
https://www.loriotto.com