by Rose O'Brien
Another gurgling breath brought her attention back.
“Please. I told you everything. Please help me. I don’t think I can heal from this. It hurts so much.”
She dropped him to the concrete. Fuck if she was going to use any of the scraps of her remaining energy to heal this sack of shit. If he died, good riddance.
She turned to Alex and Ellie, hiding her exhaustion, her horror, her anger. Her posture was all authority. She was a general and this was her battlefield.
“Ellie, did your search turn up any files or hard drives?”
The gnome held up a thumb drive. Hell yeah.
“Scan it for anything you can find about this sick fucking operation. I want the names of every son of a bitch that touched this or knew about it.”
“And after that?” Alex said.
“We let the Lechuzas tear this place apart and reclaim it for their hunting grounds,” she said, a smile touching her lips for the first time since the attack began.
As she looked around the room, she took in empty cages like the ones these monsters liked to keep hostages in. The building was a prefabricated metal structure, one of the ones that could be put together in a day. A concrete floor had been poured and the metal building put up around it. At the back of the building, there was a large roll-up loading door, a pickup truck, cans of gasoline and tools. Along one wall was a table loaded with booze and several chairs. A break room of some kind, or where the hunters entertained themselves while their prey was unloaded?
There was something in the corner under a large brown plastic tarp.
Alex moved toward it. As he got closer, he covered his mouth and nose and turned a very pale shade of green beneath his tan. Concern for him twisted in her chest and she moved toward him. That’s when the smell hit her.
Blood. And rotting meat.
He pulled the tarp down and what they saw turned her stomach. It was a large wood chipper, the kind with a trailer hitch that could be pulled behind a truck.
The thing was disgusting. The input and output chutes were covered in a thick coating of dried blood and there were bits of skin, hair and bone stuck in it.
“Oh, God,” he breathed. It was half exclamation and half prayer.
Alayna moved up beside him, her teeth grinding with rage. She cursed loudly, her voice echoing off the metal walls.
“I’d hoped to find some bodies we might be able to identify. To tell their families what had happened.”
Alex turned away from the blood soaked machine, thoughts churning behind his eyes. His features were thunderstorm dark when he met her gaze.
“I’m more worried about why you found bodies scattered all over town when they had this,” Alex said.
Chapter 20
As he closed the door to one of the tiny crash rooms behind him, Alex let out the breath he’d been holding on a long sigh. It seemed like he’d been holding his breath since they’d all returned to HQ. Or maybe since Burdock had been hurt.
He’d had a chance to check on him, and the big guy was stable, awake, and well on his way to healing up. Dumeril had some powerful magic. Too bad his own brain had been too scrambled to so much as pull a Band-Aid out of his pack to help his teammate.
Shame ripped through him again at the thought. He’d let Burdock down. He’d let the team down. He’d let Alayna down. Because he was broken and messed up. He belonged behind a desk, tracking white collar criminals, not out on a battlefield. What had made him think that he could handle that?
Alayna had, he realized. She’d had so much confidence, so much faith in him. She couldn’t see how fucked up he was.
Almost as if the thought had summoned her, there was a soft knock at the door and Alayna’s voice.
“Alex?”
He put on his mask, the one he’d learned to paint on when drill instructors were screaming in his face, and opened the door, blocking the entrance with his body.
“Yeah, Commander?”
“I came to check on you.”
Concern shone in her eyes and he hated the sight.
“As you can see, I don’t have a scratch on me. Unlike some of us. You wanna check on someone, go see Burdock.”
He hated the edge in his voice when he said it. The concern was replaced by something harder in her eyes.
“That was not your fault.”
“He could have died. Because I had a fucking panic attack.”
“But he didn’t.”
“Doesn’t matter. My little episode tonight just proves one thing: I don’t belong here.”
She took a shocked step back, hurt coloring the beautiful features of her face. He nearly shut the door just to shut out the pain he’d put her in. But this needed to happen. He needed distance. Wait, more like she needed distance, from the epic failure standing in front of her.
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
“I’m not the man you need. I can’t be the man you need. I’m not some fairytale hero. I don’t have magick powers. Hell, I can’t even make my body move when my teammate is dying. I’m broken. Useless!”
Anger darkened her indigo eyes into hurricane clouds, and she planted a palm on his shoulder, pushing him back and slamming the door behind her. There was barely enough room for both of them with the twin bed and nightstand in the tiny crash room.
“Don’t say that! You are not useless. A panic attack does not make you useless. You are one of the smartest, bravest men I’ve known. I don’t need a fairytale hero or someone with magick powers. I have that. I am that. What I need is your brain, your insights, your humor and your trigger finger.”
“My brain is the part that’s broken,” he said, sinking to sit on the edge of the bed. “It almost cost Burdock his life.”
She was silent for a moment, calculations churning behind her gaze. But nothing she could say could change what happened or change the fact that he didn’t belong.
“Did you ever stop to think about what would have happened if you hadn’t been there at all?” she asked, leaning against the wall in front of him, her arms crossed over her chest. “Burdock would have had even less of a shot, and Ellie might have died right along with him.”
“What could have happened doesn’t matter. What did happen is disgraceful.”
“You—”
“No, Alayna! Listen to me. I’m a liability out there. I’m going to get someone hurt or killed. What if it’s you next time? I need to step back.”
The calculations ground to a halt and her eyes went wide, her muscles going still.
“What are you saying?”
“I’m going to see this through. Blanca’s killer needs to be brought down, and anyone associated with this trafficking ring needs to pay. I’ll support your operation in any way I can; I’ll go back into combat if I need to. But when this is over, I have to go back to my old life.”
Alayna looked like she’d been stabbed in the gut. He knew the feeling because that was exactly how he felt in that moment. As much as this hurt, it needed to be done, to protect her. He loved her, that much was true, but he wasn’t sure anymore that it was enough.
“What?” Her voice was soft, trying to mask the pain he’d caused her.
“I thought I’d made it pretty clear from the beginning that I’ve worked too hard to rebuild my life to throw it away. I have a career that I need to get back to. I belong behind that desk where I can’t get anyone hurt.”
This was all for the best. Causing her a little pain by leaving would be better than the mountains of pain he’d hand her when he inevitably failed her.
“So, when this is over, you’re leaving?”
“I’ve learned what I needed from you in order to protect myself. No one will know about my abilities. I’ll be fine on my own.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again, turning suddenly toward the door. He couldn’t see her face, but he knew she was putting her own mask back on.
“I’ll respect your wishes, Alex,” she said, her voice stea
dy and strong. “I don’t have to like them, but I’ll respect them.”
With that, she was gone, leaving him alone, where he belonged.
***
As Alayna stormed out on to the training floor, Lu intercepted her. The look in those dark brown eyes that saw too much said that her best friend wanted to talk. Fucking peachy.
Ducking her head to hide the tears she was fighting, she grunted, “What’s up?”
“Spill,” was all Lu said as she matched her pace.
“Spill what?”
“Don’t play coy with me, blondie. I could smell him all over you for days, even though you tried to cover it with perfume and some of that body wash Ellie gave you for your birthday,” Lu said. “And now you look like you’re about to cry. So, spill.”
Her index finger was out and waving a little with her sassy tone. When the Sassy Finger came out, it was best not to argue with Lu.
“I’m not about to cry. I don’t cry. Ever.”
“You think I don’t know what my-man-done-me-wrong tears smell like. I’ve cried buckets of those. Do I need to rip a motherfucker’s head off? ‘Cause I will.”
With a deep sigh of frustration, Alayna ground to a halt and met Lu’s hard gaze. Lu was her best friend, the one who brought over a bottle of tequila when bullshit overwhelmed her. She was also a little overprotective at times.
“I slept with Alex. Past tense. It’s over as of five minutes ago. Don’t do anything to him. And I’m not going to cry.”
Turning away, she headed for the stairs to the office. Now that Burdock was settled in the med-bay and she’d gotten the all clear from the cleanup team, it was time to see what Ellie had pulled off of that drive. There were doubtless other locations that the trafficking ring had been using to hold victims. Battle plans started now.
“What happened?”
Alayna stopped with her boot on the first step, the look of concern on Lu’s face softening her features. Damn it, she didn’t need anyone’s pity.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You need to talk about it. It’s your first breakup. Give yourself a minute before you go charging off to the next thing.”
“I don’t get a minute,” Alayna growled. “Who knows how many victims are in the hands of homicidal vampires right now? I’ve got work to do. I can’t break down, especially over some guy.”
She met Lu’s gaze, begging her to drop this, asking her to let her run and hide in her work.
“Alex isn’t just some guy,” Lu said, stepping up next to her. A frown creased a line between her brows. “I know you care about him. I’ve been watching you two make eyes at each other for weeks. It’s been kind of hard to watch, actually.”
“It was that obvious, huh? Ugh. I can’t believe I broke my own rule. This is why I don’t date teammates.”
“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think Burdock or Ellie have noticed anything. Burdock only stops cleaning his guns long enough to kill the things you point at, and Ellie is so absorbed in her computers, the world could stop turning and she’d only notice when the coffee ran out,” Lu said. “So what happened?”
“He’s convinced himself that because of that panic attack tonight that he’s a liability. He said after this case is done, he’s going to back to his old life. Says he doesn’t belong in this world. He’s pushing me away,” she said, taking a deep breath. “And I’m going to let him.”
“What? Honey, he’s just being a man. He’s just been through something traumatic. Give him a couple of days to start thinking clearly again. Why are you giving up without a fight? That’s not the Alayna I know.”
“You know why I need to let him go.”
“Your fucking curse? Chica, none of us are long for this world. When happiness comes along, you have to grab it with both hands.”
“This isn’t happiness. This is fucking torture. He told me he loves me, and now he’s willing to walk away without a backward glance.”
“It’s fucked up, but he’s probably walking away because he loves you and he’s trying to protect you,” Lu said. “Well, that and he’s probably scared.”
After a long moment, Alayna began to climb the stairs in silence, her legs feeling like they had iron weights strapped around them.
Lu’s voice froze her halfway up.
“Do you love him?”
How the fuck would she know what love is? She’d lost her father at eight. In her grief, her mother had disappeared into her work. She’d lost her brothers to their own torment. And her only sister had deliberately disappeared just a few weeks after she’d been told Alayna was a Whisperer, probably because she couldn’t deal with the pain of losing another family member.
She didn’t have words for what she felt for Alex. But if he knew what she was hiding in her heart, he might follow her to the gates of hell in some misguided attempt to save her. She didn’t want her last thoughts in this world to be that she failed him.
“If something happens to me, if my time’s up, please promise me you’ll look out for Alex. Don’t let him go down with me.”
“Jeez, girl, where is this coming from?”
“I have a bad feeling, Lu, have for a few days. Something’s coming. It’s like…I can feel the book closing.”
Without another word, she bounded up the stairs two at a time and slammed the office door behind her.
***
The bang of the door hitting the wall of the crash room brought Alex’s head up so fast, something popped.
“What the fuck did you do?”
Dumeril’s voice was as sharp as barbed wire. The Svarturan’s violet eyes were snapping with accusation and anger, his lips pulled back in a snarl that revealed his long canines. Combined with the war braids in his long silver hair, he was a very menacing picture. And Alex didn’t give a fuck.
“Look, I’m sorry for what happened out there—”
“I’m not talking about that. Nobody cares about that. I’m talking about why Alayna is sitting upstairs looking like someone ripped the heart out of her chest. I want you to explain that, shithead.”
“That’s between the two of us.”
“Bullshit!” Dumeril snapped. He took a slow step forward, looming over Alex. “Try again.”
Alex met that fiery gaze and assessed his angry teammate. He wasn’t going to stop. Alex was going to have to play ball.
“How did you know about us?”
“Bitch, please. I’m the only son of the Svarturan Grand Matriarch. Growing up at court, you learn to read people and situations or you end up dead.”
“Wait, you’re a prince?”
“It doesn’t mean the same thing in this realm. Males are considered property under the matriarchy. Royal males are somewhere between concubines and sex slaves. Rather than become the sexual plaything of one of my seven sisters before being married off in a political alliance, I ran. To the Earthly Realms. I knew my mother’s minions would catch up to me eventually, at which point they were probably going to cut off my feet so I couldn’t run again, but I was resigned to that. Then along came Alayna.”
“As a member of the Mage Corps, my mother can’t touch me without risking the wrath of the Council. I don’t have to run anymore. I tell you all this to illustrate that I owe that woman my life. So does everyone in this building, including you. So, it is my business and I ask again, what the fuck did you do?”
“We got involved. But after what happened tonight, I realized that I don’t belong here. I’m a liability to her. So, I’m doing the responsible thing. After this case is over, I’m out,” Alex said.
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
“I love her. I’m trying to protect her!”
“Then don’t send her into battle with a broken heart. Look, I know she appears like she’s made of steel, but she’s not. Girl’s got soft feelies just like the rest of us. And she’s on unfamiliar ground right now. She may have fucked a lot of guys, but she’s never really been with one.”
“She seems more than willing to let me walk away when this is over.”
“Yeah, well, she’s got her own stupid reasons for that.”
***
Several hours later, the team was assembled around the table in the conference room, Alayna at the head, a satellite image of a warehouse on a large screen behind her. She studied her team, noting they were exhausted and jittery.
“Thanks to Ellie’s superior decryption algorithms, we managed to pull a likely location where more hostages are being held,” she said, indicating the warehouse.
Lu spoke up. “I tried to do some recon on the place, but it’s sealed up tight. Couldn’t even slip in as a mouse.”
The faces around the table were grim. Alayna met Alex’s eyes. There were so many things she wanted to tell him, but hadn’t had the chance. Yet.
“We need ideas for next steps. I’m opposed to going in blind, but we need to move quickly. The ringleaders have probably already heard about our raid on the hunting ground. If we’re going to have a shot at saving those hostages, we need to move on this place tonight.”
“I, for one, would like to avoid being murdered by human trafficking vampires that like to hunt people for sport, but maybe that’s just me,” Dumeril chimed in.
“You never want to do anything fun,” Ellie grumped.
Alayna silenced them with a look.
“I could try to open a portal into the building,” Dumeril said, “but it’s risky. Without knowing the layout, I could spit us out inside a wall. Not to mention the fact that the glowing hole in reality tends to give one’s position away. And then there’s the whole leaving a weak spot in the dimensional fabric thing.”
Dumeril was right. While his skill with portals was a handy one, it was rarely used. Portals were unpredictable. The one opening them generally had to be able to visualize exactly where they were opening the portal to, otherwise travelers could end up several feet off the ground or inside the duct work.
And you could never really seal a portal completely. Once opened and closed, they left a weak spot, like a scar, in the fabric of the dimension. Some of those really experienced with portals claimed they could see the old scars. Even more speculated that all sorts of things were drawn to the scars across dimensions. Because portals didn’t just make a hole in this reality—they made holes in the all the multilayered dimensions they shared space with.