“I told you,” Cat said. “I made him like he really was.”
“Hm,” said Chrestomanci. “I really must learn more about dwimmer. It seems to be your great strength, Cat. But it’s very frustrating. I wanted to tell him what I thought of him – not to speak of asking him how he managed to be a gamekeeper we didn’t need for all those years.” He turned discontentedly away to the car.
A flitting half-seen being drew Cat’s attention to Joss’s bored horse, still hitched up outside the smithy. “I’d better bring Joss his horse back,” Cat said. “You go on.”
Chrestomanci shrugged and got into the car.
Cat ran over to the horse. It had all four shoes again. “All right if I take him?” he called to the blacksmith, deep inside his coaly cave of a shed.
The blacksmith looked up from hammering and called back, “About time. I’ll send the bill up to the Castle.”
Cat mounted the horse from the block of stone beside the smithy. It was much taller than Syracuse. Otherwise it had no character at all. He got no feelings from it, not even a wish to go home. This felt very strange after Syracuse. But at least its dull mind left Cat free with his own thoughts. As he clopped round the green in the early evening light, Cat wondered if he had left Mr Farleigh as a stone tree because he wanted him that way. Mr Farleigh had scared him. He had scared the half-seen beings even more. As Cat turned up through the Castle gates, the beings skipped and skittered among the trees lining the driveway, laughing in their delight that Mr Farleigh was no longer a threat. Cat wondered if they had helped him leave Mr Farleigh as he now was.
He had had no lunch and he was starving. Klartch would be hungry too. Cat made the lumpish horse go faster and – because it was now thinking dimly of home and food – he took it the short way he was not supposed to go, along the gravel in front of the newer part of the Castle. The flying machine was spread out on the lawn there, in front of four deep brown skidmarks in the grass. It looked as if Roger and Joe had had a rough landing.
Janet and Julia were cautiously inspecting the machine. Janet called out, “Cat, I can’t find Klartch anywhere!”
Julia called out, “What have you been up to without us? It isn’t fair!”
“You wouldn’t have enjoyed it,” Cat called back. “Millie’s got Klartch.”
“I don’t care,” Julia shouted. “It still isn’t fair!”
Marianne arrived very apprehensively the next Monday. She found she was in for ordinary lessons at first with Joe, Roger, Cat, Janet and Julia, taught by a tall, keen man called Michael Saunders. She was impressed by Mr Saunders. No one else had ever made Joe do any schoolwork at all. But Joe had been promised a big new workshed where he and Roger could experiment with all their new ideas, provided he pleased Mr Saunders. So Joe sat at a desk and worked, and very soon proved to be quite extraordinarily good with figures.
Marianne began to enjoy herself. She made friends instantly with both the other girls and she liked Cat anyway, although she was shy of Roger. Roger would talk about machinery or money.
Most afternoons, Marianne and Cat had a lesson with Chrestomanci. At first, Marianne could hardly speak for nerves. Enchanter’s magic was all so strange and Cat knew so much more than she did. But she discovered on the second afternoon that Cat was slow with Magic Theory, whereas Marianne found it so easy that she almost felt she knew most of it already. Anyway, the next half of the lesson was always more like a conversation, with Cat and Chrestomanci asking her interested questions about the craft and dwimmer and herb lore. After the first terrifying afternoon, Marianne felt entirely at ease and talked and talked.
She had brought her story with her, of Princess Irene and her Cats, but she never got very far with it, because she was always being roped in for games with the girls or with Klartch and half the people in the Castle, and these were all so much fun that she never seemed to have time for anything else.
By the end of the week, she was enjoying herself so much that it was a real wrench when she and Joe had to go home to Ulverscote. They found they had missed Gammer’s funeral. But at least they arrived in time to welcome Nicola home from hospital, pale and skinny but no longer seriously ill. As they walked back from the welcome party, Joe and Marianne talked all the time about Chrestomanci Castle. In fact, they talked of nothing else all weekend. Dad was morose about it, but Mum listened, doubtfully but intently. When the car came and fetched Joe and Marianne away again the next Monday, their mother went thoughtfully along to Woods House to talk to Irene.
Irene had never been officially named as the next Gammer, but people were always going to talk to her as if she was. Irene would lay her pencil down across her latest delicate design-work and listen seriously with Nutcase on her knee. Nutcase was now able to get into any cupboard or at any food he fancied and only Jane James could control him. Mum told Marianne it was a blessing that Irene liked that cat so much.
Irene’s advice was always considered to be excellent – though Irene told Marianne that all she did was to tell people what they were really trying to say to her. One of the first people to consult her was Uncle Charles. He put on his badly crumpled wedding-suit and went up to Woods House as an official visitor, where he told Irene many things. Shortly after that, he enrolled as an advanced student at the Bowbridge College of Art. Mum told Marianne that Uncle Charles was intending to go to London to seek his fortune in a year or so.
“There’s another who’s above his own family now,” Dad said.
Mum’s own visit to Irene resulted in her sharing the car that came for Joe and Marianne on the third Monday and arriving at Chrestomanci Castle too. Millie welcomed her with delight. Mum spent a most enjoyable morning talking to Millie over coffee and biscuits – good, but not as good as Jane James’s, Mum said, but then whose were? – talking about everything under the sun, including the deep mysteries of herbs. After a bit, she agreed to let Chrestomanci’s secretary Tom come in and take notes, because, as Millie said, she was saying things that even Jason had never heard of. Marianne’s mum enjoyed this visit so much – including the chance to have lunch with both her children – that she went back to the Castle many times. It annoyed Dad but, Mum said, there you go, that’s Dad.
After this, the car going to the Castle on a Monday was often quite crowded with Pinhoe ladies – and their broomsticks for the return journey – visiting various people in the Castle. Mr Stubbs and Miss Bessemer were busy learning from the craft too. Amazing new chutneys and tangy pickles made their way into the Castle, along with certain magical embroideries for sheets, clothes and cushions. The Castle gave them spells in return, but most Pinhoe ladies were agreed that Castle spells were not a patch on the spells of the craft. It made them feel pleasantly useful and superior.
The men mostly went over by bicycle. They were even more superior, particularly Uncle Richard and Uncle Isaac, when they found themselves giving lessons in woodworking and the craft of growing things to a ring of earnest gardeners and footmen.
“Bah!” said Dad. “Letting them pick your brains!”
By this time it was all round the country, beyond Bowbridge in one direction and Hopton the other way, that Edgar and Lester Pinhoe had done away with Gaffer Pinhoe. Both of them lost clients. In the end, neither of them could stand the gossip any more. They moved away to Brighton, where they lived together in a bachelor flat. Great Aunt Clarice moved in with Great Aunt Sue, where they lived in the house just outside Ulverscote among more fat lazy dogs than anyone could count. Dad called the house “The Fleapit” from then on.
Gammer Norah and her daughter Dorothea naturally bore a grudge. They were the ones who spread the gossip about Edgar and Lester. When Marianne’s two great uncles left, Gammer Norah and Dorothea took to standing on the green of Helm St Mary, where they scowled so at any Pinhoes visiting the Castle that, as Mum said, it made you nervous in case they still had the evil eye. But that stopped when Gammer Norah won a lottery ticket for two to go to Timbuktu, and both Norah and Dorothea went. “
We can’t have them festering away on our doorstep,” Millie said, with a wink at Mum. “They had to go before their magic grew back.”
“Typical interference,” Dad said.
Klartch continued to grow. By Christmas he was developed enough to join the others in the now crowded schoolroom and learn to read and write. Even Janet began to realise that Klartch was a friend and not a pet. Games of Klartchball still got played on the lawn, but the rules changed with Klartch’s size. Klartch was a team on his own by the New Year.
Often, usually around dusk, the Castle staff got used to seeing a huge female griffin come ghosting down to the lawn. This was sometimes confusing, because Joe’s latest flying machine was also liable to arrive home at dusk, whereupon it usually crashed. The way to tell the difference, Mr Frazier explained, was that if it was the griffin, you got knocked down in the corridor by Klartch rushing out to see his mother. If Klartch did not appear, then you rushed out with healing spells and mending crafts the Pinhoes had taught you.
And sometimes, sometimes, when Cat rode out on Syracuse into the more distant woods, they would see a tall old man striding along in the distance with his hand on the back of a glimmering white unicorn.
BEYOND THE BOOK
Her birthday is 16th August.
She has written over 40 books and short stories, which are sold all over the world and translated into 20 languages.
Parts of the stories she writes always come true.
At Oxford University, she attended lectures by C S Lewis and J R R Tolkien.
Sometimes she dreams in Welsh.
Her cat’s name is Dorabella.
She has a travel jinx.
She collects dragons.
Who is Chrestomanci
Who is Chrestomanci? The question should really be What is Chrestomanci? for, as was revealed in Charmed Life, Chrestomanci is actually the title of a job and not a person’s name at all. The Chrestomanci is employed by the Government to monitor and control the use of magic throughout the related worlds.
This is not the most popular of jobs, especially with the less-than-scrupulous characters who tend to be tempted by any opportunity to misuse power, and particularly if it can earn them lots of money or an exciting life. But using magic is always dangerous, and it always has consequences, so even the best-intentioned witch or warlock needs help and guidance from time to time. Not only that, but there are plenty of ordinary people in the worlds without even a whiff of magical ability, and they need someone to make sure that the magic-users don’t get their own way all of the time – which is where Chrestomanci comes in.
As well as looking after people, Chrestomanci also has to protect the worlds they live in. Many spells need certain ingredients to work properly, just like recipes, which is fine if they are items like six drops of dew from a yew tree at dawn or a handful of grass from inside a stone circle, or even dried mouse droppings. But some spells call for substances such as dragon’s blood or mermaid scales. These are illegal products, because of the harm caused by both the collection and careless use of such dark materials. But this also means there is a thriving black market in ’exotic supplies’, so Chrestomanci and his team have to be constantly on the alert for smugglers and underhand dealers.
Of course, not everyone is qualified to take on the post of Chrestomanci – it’s not a job you can simply apply for. Only the strength and special skills of an enchanter can possibly begin to attempt to tackle the task. But Chrestomanci is no ordinary enchanter – he has to be a nine-lifed enchanter. Most people, whatever their magical status, just have one life each – but they also have counterparts, or doubles, in other worlds. People with nine lives (and they are exceedingly rare) exist only in their own world, with no counterparts anywhere else, which means that all the talents and energies and abilities that would have been spread out across the others are all concentrated in the one person. This makes Chrestomanci a very powerful enchanter indeed.
One of the most challenging tasks a Chrestomanci has to undertake is finding his successor – the next Chrestomanci. This is never easy, not only because of the fact that nine-lifed enchanters are exceedingly rare, but they might not even be living in the same world! They also are usually completely unaware that they have more than the usual number of lives and often demonstrate a distinct lack of magical ability in childhood. They are often discovered for the first time when they begin to lose their lives. For example, if on Monday somebody falls from an extremely high tower, or is consumed by fire, or gets hit round the head with a cricket bat, and yet on Tuesday is happily walking around with no noticeable ill-effects, chances are he has nine lives. This means he is then worth testing to find out what’s stopping him from doing magic.
All nine-lifed enchanters have a weakness, and it is usually that weakness which prevents them from being aware of their magic when they are young. Of course, they do not all share the same weakness, so it can take some time to track down exactly what the problem is. Once the weakness is identified and avoided, they can work magic like anything! In fact, because enchanters’ magic is particularly potent and immediate, they have to spend many years in training, learning how to control their power and discovering its full extent – while trying very hard not to dislocate the universe or blow off too many rooftops.
Once they are aware of their nine lives, it’s up to them to make sure they take care of the ones they have left – especially the last one. The best way to do this is to detach it from the body and keep it in a secret, protected location where it cannot be attacked or enchanted. Removing a life intact is a delicate operation; Gabriel de Witt, who is Chrestomanci in The Lives of Christopher Chant, pioneered the process, trialling it successfully for the first time on his Chrestomanci-in-training.
The one thing Chrestomanci doesn’t have is a nine-to-five job. He has to be ready to thwart evil, apprehend villains and solve magical conundrums at the drop of a hat, no matter what time, place or dimension they happen to occur. People in dire need can also summon him by calling his name aloud three times. Consequently, his staff are used to finding half-drunk cups of tea and abandoned plates, as dire need is no respecter of mealtimes.
Being Chrestomanci is the most powerful job in the related worlds, and they’re always on the lookout for the next one. So if you ever find yourself returning to dream worlds you’ve visited before, waking up with grubby feet and gravel in your bed, being told off for being on a different planet or raising small whirlwinds in the garden – you never know, it could be you!
Mythical Menagerie
Centaur
part human / part horse
Minotaur
bull’s head / human body
Hippocampus
part horse / part fish
Hippogryph
part griffin / part horse
Sphinx
human head / lion’s body / wings
Manticore
lion’s body / man’s face
Faun
part human / part goat
Merfolk
human body / fishy tail
Cockatrice
part chicken / part reptile
Chimera
lion’s head / goat’s body / snake’s tail
CHRESTOMANCI CASTLE
As a nine-lifed enchanter with the most powerful job in the related worlds, it is only right and proper that Chrestomanci resides in a place that is as grand and imposing as his title – and Chrestomanci Castle is most certainly grand and imposing. If driving from the local railway station, you would first glimpse this marvellous
building at the top of a hill as you approached along the narrow winding road. You would sweep through massive gates into an avenue of dark green cedars and elm trees, before scrunching to a halt on the gravel outside one of the castle’s many entrances.
Nestled in the heart of the English countryside, Chrestomanci Castle’s history stretches back beyond most people’s memory. Parts of it are very old, although it has been extended and expan
ded over the years so that its appearance is unlike any other castle you have ever seen before. Part of it is grey and turreted and every bit the medieval-style fortress you might imagine; yet turn a corner and you will come across a bright new part, more like a palace or a mansion, with a spread of windows and a flag fluttering from the roof. Architecturally, Michael Saunders would probably tell you it is a very interesting mix indeed – but it’s probably not wise to ask him about it unless you have two or three hours to spare.
The interior of Chrestomanci Castle is as impressive as the outside. If you entered through the main front doors, you would find yourself in an airy entrance hall with a pentagram built into the tiled floor. Topping this lofty space is a glass dome roof, and underneath this a majestic pink staircase curls up to the next floor. Several doorways topped with statues lead off from the hall, and you can identify the door to the next most important room by the fact that it is topped with a clock as well as a statue. But the most magnificent sight in the entrance hall is the enormous crystal chandelier which hangs from the glass dome on a long chain.
If you entered from one of the side doors, you would be confronted by a choice of stairs, corridors, doors and more stairs. There is soft green carpet everywhere, flanked by highly polished wooden floors. In fact, to all but the very longest-serving members of the household, navigating Chrestomanci Castle is a most confusing challenge!
Of course, the other way to enter Chrestomanci Castle is by magic – which means you would most likely arrive in the centre of the tiled pentagram in the main hall. It’s best to make sure that you are definitely invited if you plan to pay a visit in this way, as otherwise you are likely be caught in a particularly uncomfortable security device set to apprehend intruders!
The Pinhoe Egg (UK) Page 27