by Edwina Fort
“I would love to come.”
“Wonderful,” she said standing. “I will send my driver for you at around eight o’clock, is that alright?”
I nodded. “That will be perfect.”
“It was very nice meeting you.” She told my mom, who now wore a look of doubt on her face.
“I’ll see you tonight, Journey.”
“Can’t wait.” I told her, showing her to the door.
“I don’t like her.” My mom said as soon as it closed. I was so happy my mother’s words didn’t bother me none.
Jo’s parents had finally accepted me and Ayana. I was so worried about what I would tell her when she finally asked about her grandparents.
“Oh, come on mama, mama…” I sang as I did a little dance around her. “You don’t like Kyle, you don’t like Alice…Who do you like?”
She frowned at me crossing her arms. “What did she do to you that she had to apologize for?”
No way was I telling her all the details. If she knew what Alice had done, she would be dead set against me going anywhere near her or her husband.
“She thought I was too young for her son and she told me so.” My mother looked at me skeptically. I bit my bottom lip. I really hated lying to her.
“Why are you lying, Journey?”
I exhaled. “I’m not! Now will you help me find something to wear?”
Chapter Ten
Shattered
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore, then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode?
--Langston Hughes
Journey
In all my life I have never experienced pain like this. For just a moment I thought that maybe I was going to die from the feel of my heart shattering. I once read a poem by Langston Hughes that asked the question: What happens to a dream deferred?
I reckon that everybody’s answer to that question would be different. But I can tell you what happened to me when my dreams came crashing down to taunt me for being dumb enough to believe in the impossible.
Once again, Alice had played me for a fool. She was the very essence of pure unadulterated evil. The small casual dinner party turned out to be the event of the season. At least that’s how the papers described it. The few friends and family she said would be attending turned out to be dignitaries, movies stars, the Obama’s, and even a royal or two.
She told me that I didn’t have to rush out and buy anything fancy. She said she was sure that whatever I had in my closet would suffice. If I had to guess, the price tag on some of the gowns worn to this event of the season I would guess it to be more than what most of us would pay for a house.
Meanwhile I stood amongst this glamour in my burgundy corduroy skirt, burgundy swoop neck sweater with the matching burgundy suede ankle boots. Embarrassment burned my cheeks. I wanted to turn and run, but as soon as I came through the door of this mansion that looked more like a palace, a butler took my coat and purse, another young lady who said she was Alice’s assistant took my arm.
“Journey, how are you? I’m Mrs. Warren’s assistant, Dorthey. Come with me, I’ll show you where everyone is.” She sounded winded as if she was running around doing a lot of stuff.
“Thank you.” I’d said with a smile, even though doubt was now crawling up my spine. At that point, I knew Alice had pulled a fast one, I just didn’t know how bad it was. The closer we got to the golden doors that Dorthey said led to the ballroom, my suspicion was growing by leaps and bounds. The sight of two more men dressed like butlers standing at the doors waiting to open it for us only fed said suspicion.
Chuckling nervously, I turned to look at Dorthey. “That’s a little formal for a casual dinner party, isn’t it?”
She didn’t respond, she just gave me a reassuring smile. However, when the men opened the doors to let us in, I knew I had been betrayed. The room was packed full of glamour. The sparkle from the diamonds and other jewels that were being worn was blinding. I reached up to touch the ruby that Jo had bought me, so glad I had decided to wear it. But even so, I was extremely underdressed. I pulled back on Dorthey’s arm, but she didn’t relent and continued forward.
“Wait, I’m underdressed. Maybe I should go home and change.” She waved away my statement.
“Don’t be silly, you look great. Besides, Mrs. Warren’s driver won’t be back until the party is over. How will you get home?”
Oh My God! Don’t panic Journey…
“But I don’t understand,” I cried confused, looking around at the cream and golden decorated tables. “I thought this was a retirement party for Joseph.”
“It is, all of these people have come out to wish him well.” She spoke with a calm smile on her face as if she was not rocking my world. I looked back at the door that was getting farther away. Where was she taking me?
“Where are we going?” My desperation began to bleed through my voice.
“Mrs. Warren reserved you a special seat of honor.”
Don’t panic…
People were beginning to give me the side eye. A couple of women whispered about me behind their hands as they took in my outfit. There were several media stations set up where some of the famous people in attendance were being interviewed.
“Here you go, this is where you will be sitting.” On the table in front of the golden place setting was a fancy place holder with Journey, spelt J-o-r-n-a-y written on it. My eyes went around to the other people sitting at the table. Like me, it seemed as if they were a bit underdressed. I felt instant relief. This would probably explain why they weren’t mixing and mingling with everyone else.
I turned around to thank Dorthey, but surprisingly she was already gone making her way through the crowd.
“Hi,” I muttered to the others as I eased down in the chair. Several of them returned my greeting while the others continued to look around wide eyed, no doubt this was their first time being around so many famous people as it was mine.
Right off I noticed a few things about the occupants at this table, we were all black, young, and underdressed. It was then I saw the sign on a little stand in the middle of the table. It read: Florida’s Community Project.
Wow, Alice was in rare form. If she thought sitting me at a table with my people that was from the ghetto like me was going to insult me, she didn’t know me that well. Out of all the tables in the room, there was not a one I would have rather sat at.
“Journey, is that you?” The sound of Kyle’s voice caused me to look around. He was coming towards me carrying a golden tray of hors d’oeuvres.
“Kyle!” I cried, so relieved to see another body that I knew. I reached for him. “What are you doing here?”
He sat the tray on the table and squatted down next to me, taking my hands. I clung to him, in that moment he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I wanted to beg him to take me away from here.
“Several caterers got the contract for this job, my father was one of them.” His eyes raked over my body. “Wow! You look amazing!”
I gave him the look that said, yeah right. “Aww, Kyle you just saying that ‘cause you’re my friend.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m serious. You the only woman here tonight that’s not fake. If a fire breaks out, most of these women will melt.” I chuckled.
That was the Kyle I remembered before he had decided to push the envelope and take our relationship to the next level. I liked him better as a friend. I opened my mouth to ask him if he drove, but right then another waiter approached us.
“Kyle, your father needs to see you right away.” Kyle nodded.
“I’ll be back.” He told me as he stood with his tray.
I still clung to his hand. “Promise?”
He chuckled squatting back down. “It’s going to be alright. Just because these people got money don’t mean they’re better than you in any way. You’re the
prettiest girl here Journey, by far.”
“Thank You, Kyle.” I muttered putting on a brave face. However, I wanted to grab his arm and tell him not to leave me. The term feeling like a fish out of water was a vast understatement to how I felt right now.
Like the other occupants at my table, I looked around wide eyed. I couldn’t believe the faces I was seeing. The Obamas! Are you kidding me? The Obamas were here. I had to stop myself from completely fan girling out and pulling out my phone to get a couple of pictures to show my mom.
Who was I kidding? If that butler guy hadn’t took my purse with my phone in it, that’s exactly what I would be doing.
I continued to scan the crowd when my eyes landed on Alice. She was dressed to the nines in a golden creation that was simply breathtaking. Never once did her eyes fall to the table of have-nots, like we were too beneath her to even notice. I started to get up and give her a piece of my mind and demand she call her driver back to take me home, but with a huge smile on her face she linked arms with Senator Warren and headed toward the golden double doors. My eyes followed and—
“What?” I muttered coming to my feet confused. I clutched the back of the chair next to me for support.
Jo was walking through the door escorting a tall, brown beauty on his arm. Everything about her screamed first lady. Her long, processed hair seemed to float around her shoulders as she waved and shook hands with the people she passed. The dress she wore was a mix between Jacqueline Kennedy and Michelle Obama. She didn’t wear high-stepping heels like most of the women here tonight. She wore sensible heels like a good first lady should.
I felt sick…
Everybody in the room stopped what they were doing and began to clap for them. Senator Warren and Alice joined them and together they stood and smiled, waving for the cameras.
Out of sheer self-preservation, I told myself not to jump to conclusions. This could be Jo’s cousin or friend. But the way he touched her with his hand on her lower back screamed something else. Oh God, he had played me.
In that moment, something else came to mind that I never even thought of. Jo never told me about this event. He didn’t invite me, his mother did. In fact, he told me he would be working late and for me not to wait up. I had been so excited about being invited that it never crossed my mind to question his statement.
I put my hand on my stomach trying to settle the queasiness. I felt like such a fool. This is why I avoided him in the beginning. I knew a man like that could never take a girl like me seriously. I was just a young ghetto plaything for him to bide his time with. With desperate eyes I looked around at the other occupants at my table. Hadn’t that been the message Alice Warren wanted me to get?
By inviting me here, she reminded me where my place was, and it was not standing next to her son. No, that will never be my place. I had been so foolish.
Jo, his parents, and Mrs. Future first lady were escorted to one of the interview stations. It just so happened the station was close by my table.
I’m sure that was just a coincidence.
Because the bright lights were in his face he didn’t see me, but Alice did. The wicked smile she wore made me want to kick her. I balled up my fists. What did I do to this woman to make her hate me so? I didn’t ask for any of this!
The reporter began asking him questions about his future senate seat, but I didn’t hear any of it, because my eyes were too busy taking in the woman who was standing with her hands on my man. The man that had just made love to me this morning and had me calling out his name. She touched his chest and straightened out his bowtie, she threw back her head and laughed at something he whispered in her ear.
Did he make love to her the same way? Did he make her feel as if she was melting in his arms? Did he--
“And can we expect an engagement announcement between you and the beautiful Ms. Chloe Anderson when you officially announce that you’re running for your father’s seat?”
My world darkened.
Langston asked what happens to a dream deferred. My answer is simple, golds turn to browns, and whites to greys, the sparkle of diamonds dull, as your love dies and crumbles away…
So that was Chloe Anderson. No wonder Kyle said he was surprised to see Jo there with me. I put my hand on my chest to try to ease the pain of my heart shattering into a million pieces to fall to the ground around my feet.
Lift your head, Journey! An inner strength that I didn’t know I had yelled inside of me.
Although it was the hardest thing I ever had to do, I lifted my head, even though my body was wracked with pain. As if he could feel my pain, Jo suddenly looked up and his eyes connected with mine. He looked away, but then his head jerked back to me.
I willed myself not to cry in front of him. He was not worth it. I will never give him that. Yeah, I may be from the ghetto and to him and his peers, a piece of disposable trash, but to the Heavenly Father I mattered, I know I did. And it was him I called on to give me the strength to walk out of here.
“You know Journey, had I known you were a good time girl, I would have put my bid in before my son. What’s he paying for your services anyway?”
My mouth dropped as I slowly turned to look at Senator Warren. With what he thought was a seductive smile he winked at me. Jo told his father he was paying me for sex!
I was going to be sick…
I hurried across the floor towards the doors.
“Journey, are you okay?” Kyle asked as he reached for me.
“Please Kyle, get me out of here. Please!” Desperately I clutched his strong arms, any minute I felt like my knees were going to give out. I’d always dreamed that one day I’d win the Nobel Peace Prize for my work with the soil. I’d be known far and wide for my studies. But thanks to Jo, I’ll now and forever be known as the silly ghetto girl who once became the mistress of a president.
“Of course. Come on, my car’s out back.” Kyle said.
As soon as we exited the golden doors I collapsed in his arms, a dark cloud settled over me and it was suffocating.
I was dying!
“That bastard! I hate you had to find out this way.” He whispered as he lifted me in his arms. I didn’t care that the few people that stood in the grand foyer stared at us. I just wanted to get out of here.
The butler disappeared for only a moment before he came out with my coat and purse. I lay my head on Kyle’s shoulder, kind of hiding my face in his neck. The truth was, my head felt too heavy to lift.
“Thanks, Kyle.” I muttered feeling lifeless as he set me on my feet at his car and opened the passenger side door for me. When I slid in and he closed the door, I gave into the tears that would wait no longer. As soon as Kyle opened his door to get in, the kitchen door burst open and Jo ran out.
“Go Kyle, hurry!” I cried as he slid in and turned the key. Just as Jo made it to the car reaching for my door Kyle stepped on the gas. My gaze went to his as we sped around the stone fountain. Surprisingly, he actually chased the vehicle. I didn’t try to hide my pain from him, hell, at the point I couldn’t if I tried.
“Journey! Wait!” He yelled as for a moment he ran beside the car beating on the window. He tried to reach for the door knob but couldn’t grasp it. And then he did something that caused me to scream out. He grabbed unto the top of the car and leaped up unto the roof...
I yelled as he slammed his fist into the front window on Kyle’s side.
“Stop this car you mutha f****!” He hit the window again and cracked it.
“Dear God!” I screamed. He was like a wild man. Kyle slammed on the brakes and Jo rolled off the hood unto the ground coming smoothly to his feet out of a flawless roll.
My mouth fell open. “What the world!” I don’t know if I said that out loud or just thought it. Jo had just moved like some kind of robot or something. His suit wasn’t even ruffled, must be his military training. Standing in front of the car he pointed at Kyle grinding down on teeth as if he really wanted to lay hands on him, but then changed his mi
nd.
His pleading eyes came to me. “Journey baby, I’m sorry. I should have told you about Chloe.” He shook his head. “I didn’t tell you because I was planning on telling everybody tonight that I couldn’t marry her because I want to marry you.”
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small black box. “See, it’s ruby like the necklace I bought you.” He made a sound in his throat that sounded like a half laugh half cry.
“I bought this engagement ring the same time I bought you that necklace…I carry it everywhere with me, trying to work up the nerve to ask you to marry me. I always knew you were the one.”
I stared at him through a sea of tears. He opened the box and the ruby flashed red in the headlights. My hand flew to my mouth.
“Please baby, don’t go like this. Just give me a second to make this all right. Please, J!”
My heart!
What was Jo doing to my heart? One minute he causes it pain like it’s never felt before, and in the next complete fullness. As if it had a mind of its own, my hand went for the door. But right then Kyle stepped on the gas causing Jo to dive out the way. I turned to look at him.
“Kyle, what are you doing?”
“He’s lying, Journey!” He growled as he clutched the steering wheel with both hands so tightly his knuckles turned white.
“How can you believe anything he says after what you went through tonight?” I turned to look back at Jo, instead of chasing after the car he ran across the yard yelling something in his phone. Several guards were running towards the guard booth and the gate that was beginning to close.
My eyes widened as we continue to speed towards it anyway. “Kyle, slow down, we going to crash into the gate!”
“We’re going to make it.” He mumbled concentrating on his task.
A scream froze in my throat as he slid past the gate scratching the side of his car. I put my hand on my chest as I collapsed back in the seat.
“Wow!” Was all I could say. He reached over and took my hand bringing it up to his lips to kiss my knuckles.