by Amanda Ray
My heart pounded at the thought of having him, of having all of Jeremiah and my stomach filled with butterflies. Happiness overflowed my body and I was so excited for this next step in our relationship, even if it was about to happen in a car, in the diner's parking lot. But then the loudest noise interrupted my wonderful thoughts and both Jeremiah and I jumped at the knock on the window.
Chapter 13
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
The bangs on the window had startled us from our passionate escape. I jumped out of Jeremiah's lap as if I had just been electrocuted and we hurried to put our clothes on as the knocks became impatient. "Yes!" Jeremiah yelled back at the annoying banging but there was no response. When we were finished putting ourselves together he rolled down the steam filled window to meet our untimely new friend. I shot my head down to my knees to hide my embarrassed face. I couldn't stand the fact that some stranger had caught me in the act of pure lust, teenage hormones. What if it wasn't a stranger? What if it's the cops? What if we're going to get arrested? But before my mind could race with the infinite possibilities the stranger spoke. Only it wasn't a stranger at all.
"Yo, dude. You done?" Chris chuckled peeking into the window and I felt my face turn bright red. Of all the scenarios I could have concocted in my head, being caught by Chris, almost having sex in a parking lot, would not have been one of them. Jeremiah laughed and looked over at me, "Yea we're done....for now," he winked at me. I shook my head in disbelief about what had happened and let out a breathless chuckle.
This was my life. I finally got a boyfriend only for him to be shipped away and to be caught by his best friend when we were about to have sex. "Do you guys want to come sit with us? Lily's inside getting a table, she told me not to interrupt when we saw the windows fogged up but you know I couldn't help myself." Chris' smirk covered almost his entire face and I could feel the embarrassment heat my face again. The burn on my cheeks was starting to become permanent.
"No, man. It's ok, we already ate. I'm going to take Freya home." Jeremiah looked at me, asking if that was alright. "Actually," I interrupted, "I'm staying at Lily's tonight, so can you just take me there and we can wait until they get back?" J smiled and nodded. After saying our goodbyes to Chris, we made our way back to Lily's. I stared out the window touching my lips, remembering the feeling of Jeremiah's on them and the thought of us about to sleep together. If Chris hadn't interrupted would I have gone through with it? Would my first time have been in a car, in the parking lot of Ray's diner?
"What are you thinking about?" Jeremiah grazed my thigh and looked over at me. "Nothing," I smiled back at him, trying to hide the seductive thoughts still roaming in my mind trying to break through with every second his warm hand rested on my thigh. He smiled an all knowing smile as if he was thinking about the same things as me and turned up the radio. "This song makes me think of you," his smile brightened, "Do you know it?" I listened to the lyrics for a minute trying to decipher the artist.
"What song is this?" I blushed as the sweet words filled the car. "You and me by Lifehouse. Every time I hear it I think of you." Jeremiah’s cheeks turned red and he looked down at my knees, embarrassed to look me in the eyes before returning his concentration to the road. I put my head on the window and listened to the words in bliss for the rest of the way back.
When we got to Lily's, Jeremiah parked on the street and paused before turning off the car. I sensed his delay and felt the air shift into something uncomfortable. "Are you okay?" I hesitantly asked, not really wanting to know the answer. "No," he shook his head, eyes shooting toward the carpet. The lump in my throat returned and I could feel myself shaking. He changed his mind. He's going to break up with me now. Why did he wait until we got to Lily's house? Is he mad that I didn't sleep with him at the diner? And as if the universe could hear my thoughts the sound of “Burn” by Usher filled the car. Oh God, even the radio knows I'm about to be dumped.
"I'm so stupid and I'm so mad at myself. I can't take this feeling. I know we’re going to make this long distance thing work between us. I know it. I'm just so angry. You're the first girl that I ever really saw myself having a future with! I know that sounds stupid but I just couldn't help myself, I mean look at you." A heartbroken smile filled my face as he continued, "I mean I saw us getting married and having two cats and a dog and kids. I even went so far as to name our first two. It's so dumb but I don't want this to ruin us. I don't want the distance to change anything, even though I know it will." Defeat was clear in his eyes as he looked at me, a single tear made its escape down his cheek. I reached over and swiped it away with my thumb, cupping his face in my hand. My strong Jeremiah sat in front of me, disheveled and distraught over the thought of losing our future. A future that I assumed I had only thought about. My heart ached for him but I couldn't help the happiness I felt at his words, about our future, because the truth was that I wanted it all. And I wanted it all with him.
"What would our kids' names be?" I asked with a smirk. "What?", clearly confused, Jeremiah looked at me with a head tilt. "You said you named our first two kids. So, come on, what are they?" I chuckled and waited for him to answer. "Well, we're going to have a girl and a boy and if we can survive that then we will have more," he laughed, "her name will be Ava and his will be Ray."
"Do I have a say in this?" I asked, laughing at all the thought he put into this. "Nope, those will be their names and if we have more than you can name them." J leaned into me and placed a light kiss on my nose, "Come, let's get you inside. It's getting late and Chris just texted me and told me they're on the way back." As he walked around the car to open my door I knew in that moment, more than ever, that Jeremiah had my heart. I wanted to be his forever. I wanted our future to be everything he said and it would all start with us. Right then I knew that I was ready. I no longer felt the sting of anxiety or shyness to be with him. I wanted us to start our future and it would start with me losing my virginity to him.
Chapter 14
The moment Jeremiah opened the car door my body clung to his. My fingers gripped the hair at the base of his neck and my legs wrapped around his waist. Our lips met, our tongues pushed into each other’s mouths and I let out a low moan. I could feel his body tense underneath mine and I pushed my body closer so I could feel his budding erection. My hips ground into him feeling his length and I breathed in his groan.
"Let's go inside." My voice reeked with lust, desire and want. I smiled at him through my lashes with labored breaths. J gave me a simple nod and I slid down his body, stepping away from the car I rushed us through the door, making our way into the house, being careful not to lose our lips connection. Our eyes were closed, enjoying the sensations, the feel of one another. I tripped over shoes in the living room, letting out a small gasp as my body left Jeremiahs I was shocked when I landed on top of a body on the couch. What the hell? Lily's mom wasn't supposed to be home until six. I tensed and almost screamed before focusing on the figure I was laying across through my lustful haze.
"Jesse?" my breath was rigid, uncontrolled. The passion that was running through me at the speed of light suddenly stalled and anger crept up fast in my veins igniting a fire in my belly. Jesse had interrupted our second attempt at being together and I was beyond furious. I was fuming with rage...but for more than one reason. Jesse and some half naked blonde, sprawled on top of him, shot us an annoyed glare.
"Are we interrupting?" Jesse chuckled, raising his brow at me. Why is he still here? I thought he was going back to Australia or London or wherever the hell he was traveling to now! And why did he have a girl here? A half naked girl at that!
"I could ask you the same thing." The harsh tone in my voice echoed throughout the room as I picked myself up off of him. Jeremiah stood there dumbfounded, not having a clue what to say or do. J just smiled, grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to his chest. I love possessive Jeremiah. See, Jesse! I love Jeremiah!
I looked down at the blonde in her bri
ght pink bra attempting to put her white top back on as she moved away from Jesse. Her curled locks, frizzy and mangled from the hands I imagined were pulling at them before we arrived.
"Please, don't stop on our account," I said, narrowing my eyes at Jesse. Am I jealous? Why the hell would I be jealous of this girl with Jesse when I have Jeremiah! Jeremiah and I are about to have sex, there's no way I'm jealous! I barely even know Jesse. And besides he's older than me and Lily's brother, I can't and won't go there. Oh my God, do I want to go there?
"Oh, don't worry, we won't," Jesse said, taking me away from my thoughts. His grin was devilish as if he could read my thoughts. I rolled my eyes, turned away from Jesse and grabbed Jeremiah's hand to lead him up the stairs. We were heading toward Lily's bathroom when Jeremiah stopped me at the top of the stairs.
"Did anything happen between you two?"
I spun around so quickly that I lost my balance and Jeremiah had to grab a hold of me before I fell. "What!" I practically yelled in amusement "No! Never! That's Lily's brother. I would never do that, especially because I'm with you. I told you everything I've ever done... which is nothing, so why would you even ask that?"
"Okay, I was just wondering. There was just some sort of.... tension between you guys so I wanted to make sure you told me everything." Jeremiah gave me a half smile and shook his head attempting to end the conversation. "Nothing has ever happened or will ever happen with Jesse. You know everything about me, please don't doubt that." I smiled and grabbed his arm leading us back to the bathroom. I turned around when we reached the door, leaning my back against it, I looked up at Jeremiah and gave him a seductive, wicked smile.
"Why are we in the bathroom?" The arched brow and slight grin on his face told me he was excited. "Because clearly we can't find anywhere to have sex, so that's not happening today," I rolled my eyes and continued, "And Lily and Chris will be here soon, so we can't go in her room... but that doesn't mean I don't still want to do....... stuff." I pushed the door closed and locked it.
I walked us back until Jeremiah's back was against the sink. He smirked with every stride I took pulling at his T-shirt, each step oozing with control and dominance. I pushed him farther against the sink so our fronts were touching and ran my hand down his chest. I could feel every indent of his abs as I trailed farther and father down. Reaching the hem of his shirt, I slowly gripped the material in my hand, raised it slightly to give me better access to his bare skin and let out a low growl. He shivered at the contact of my cold hands against his warm chiseled chest. With every touch my desire grew stronger and stronger. It was fun to be the one in control.
I reached for the button on his jeans hastily pulling them down his body. If I was going to do this I had to do it before I lost my nerve. I fell to my knees suddenly craving the feeling of him in my mouth. I looked up at Jeremiah licking my lips and smiled innocently as I traced my fingers up his thighs stopping just as I reached his boxers. He bit his lip and threw his head back in anticipation. I gripped his full erection peeping through the thin cotton material and smiled at the moan that escaped his mouth. The calm that I was trying so hard to hold on to vanished with the sound of his hitched breath. I couldn’t take it anymore, I ripped down the material that stood between him and my mouth.
J’s erection sprung in front of me at it's escape from the material and my eyes filled with lust at the sight of it. I grabbed his length in one hand, licked him from the base to the tip and used my other hand to caress his sack. "Oh. God. Freya." His breath was heavy, he was biting his lip and looking down at me with desire behind his eyes. I swirled my tongue over the tip, tasting the salty dew. I pulled away teasing him. I looked up through my thick lashes and licked my lips again as the slight taste of him lingered. Before J could say anything I grabbed his full length in my mouth, taking him as far as I could and he gripped the sink with both hands throwing his head back on a moan.
As my head moved back and forth, taking more of him with each stride, his hands moved from the sink into my hair. Gripping tighter and tighter as I felt his arousal building in my mouth. I moved faster and faster hollowing my mouth and gliding my tongue as I moved. The sound of his breath becoming more uncontrolled only fueled my desire. My panties grew wet with every moan he let out. The warmth in my belly burned and ached for him to come apart. "Freya.....I'm going....I'm going to....." Before he could get the words out I moved my hands to his firm butt, gripped him and pushed him further into my mouth so that his length reached the back of my throat. Digging my fingernails into him with each sharp thrust, his moan filled the tiny bathroom as he exploded in my mouth. The warm salty liquid filled my throat as I watched him twitch and come down off his climax.
He slowly released my hair as I lazily let him out of my mouth. I grazed Jeremiahs thighs moving up from the floor and licked my lips when his eyes met mine. "Where the fuck did you learn how to do that?" He whispered in satisfaction. I smiled at the disheveled man in front of me. "I wanted to be ready for you," I shrugged thinking back to all the late nights I spent with Lily, asking her question upon question about pleasing a guy, to ready myself for this exact moment.
"Well that was....that was amazing." He said between breaths trying to get his pants back on. J cupped my face in his hands and kissed me gently. "That was seriously the best I have ever had, and I can not wait to return the favor." He smirked at me and my knees turned to jelly at the thought. I leaned in, kissed him again but before we could start anything else Jeremiah's phone went off. He shrugged at Chris's name popping up on the screen and I threw my head back with an exaggerated huff.
We walked out of the bathroom hand in hand and said our goodbyes at the stairs. I kissed him long and hard to say goodbye and he promised to take me out again the next day after school. After I watched him walk out the door with Chris I turned to make my way to Lily's room as she yelled and made noises of disgust at Jesse and his little friend. I turned my head to look at him only to catch him staring at me with a smirk. I was taken aback when he mouthed “have fun in the bathroom?” I rolled my eyes. Who was he to talk!
I ran into Lily’s room and flopped down on her bed staring at the ceiling and smiling at the image of Jeremiah in the bathroom. The best I have ever had. His words on repeat in my head. The happiness in my heart, from everything we had done, was short compared to the grief I felt as the realization set in that he was in fact leaving. I don't know when I'll get the chance to see him like that again. And with that thought I went from smiling and giddy to full on sobbing on my best friend's bed. What the hell am I going to do?
Chapter 15
Lily's playful mood changed the minute she walked into her room and found me sobbing. Snot and tears pouring out of me, trickling down my neck into her purple comforter. "Freya? What happened? Do I have to kill him?" Her last remark had made me chuckle and gave me enough strength to push myself up to my elbows. I looked at her, wanting to share everything but the minute her eyes met mine I broke into a frenzied mess and my tears were met with dry heaves that I couldn't control. She zoomed across the room, jumped on the bed beside me cupping my head and bringing it to her chest. She let me cry for what felt like hours while she stroked my hair.
It was the comfort I needed. The comfort I always craved. Anytime something horrible happened in my life it was always Lily who had helped me feel better, helped me heal. She never needed any explanation, she always knew that when I was ready I would tell her everything. She always managed to put my shit before hers and I loved her dearly for that. But there was always something missing. The comfort, the warmth, the strength and security of a partner. Of someone who wanted to protect me in a way my best friend couldn’t. I wanted a man to hold me, to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be alright. The only problem was that the man who I wanted to comfort me was the same man who was making me feel upset. Jeremiah.
I finally mustered up enough strength to pull myself together and tell Lily everything that had happened. The two failed attempts
to lose my virginity to Jeremiah, our stumble upon Jesse and his latest toy, what happened in the bathroom and the words that Jeremiah had said to me. She took it all in, nodding and gasping along as I told the story. Lily even rolled her eyes when I mentioned Jesse in the living room. When I was done she clasped my hands and gave me a sympathetic look, "So what are you going to do now?"
That was just it. I hadn't a clue what I wanted to do. I knew that I wanted to be with Jeremiah but I didn't know if we could even remotely make it work, with him in Florida. It was going to be near impossible to stay so connected. And there was a tiny voice in my head that kept nagging me about Jesse. My first crush, my best friends brother whom I haven’t thought about in years now all of a sudden shows up and my body reacts to him in ways I’ve never felt before. Not even with Jeremiah. I pushed all the thoughts aside, shrugged and looked down defeated. "Do you want to know my opinion?" I nodded, lost for words and unsure if I really wanted to hear what she had to say.
Lily smiled at me, "I think you should try it. Not the sex, unless you really want to, but I think that you should try the long distance. You don't want to look back and regret not trying and if it doesn't work out then at least you tried ya know?" I looked at her in shock, eyes wide and mouth gaped open. She was right. I knew that if I didn't try, then I would regret it and constantly ask what if. I needed to focus on Jeremiah and out Jesse out of my head.
"You're right," I nodded, "I don't want to regret not trying. I know I'm going to miss him like crazy but we can make it work. And you're right about the sex too. I don't want to rush it just because he's leaving. If this works...no....when we work out, having sex with him will be so much better then because we waited." I felt more secure in my decision, more confident. We’d make it work. We’d have to. Right?