by C. L Stewart
I feel for Dan. He wanted to run his business legitimately since he’s seen more criminal activity than a whole season of Law and Order. Jed has been with Dan from the start, so he obviously knows about Dan’s dad. It makes me angry to know of the opportunities afforded to him by Dan. It’s like that old saying; ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you’. I make my way up in the lift to Dan’s office and halfway there my phone vibrates in my pocket. I check it and see a message from Damo.
Sorry about not coming in today Miss Nikki. I will be in tomorrow I promise. x
I smile, little shit. He phoned in sick this morning saying he wasn’t feeling very well and thought he may have a bug. I know otherwise because I received an after-midnight phone call from a very drunk Damo telling me I was his bestie and that he loved me. I’m going to kick his ass tomorrow and take great pleasure in reminding him about the phone call.
Dan and I are in complete agreement about taking things very slowly. Not only so that we don’t have to keep it a secret but also for the fact that I need to stay on the trust side of Jed at least. Astrid is a lost cause; she already hates me, and I know that will never change but it would only be worse if she knew about us. It was nice to be able to talk about it with him instead of doing a Nikki special and simply running away. I even got to play dollies with Olivia before I left.
The lift pings as it reaches the twelfth floor and I step out to complete silence. Tabitha’s seat is empty and her computer screen dark. She’s definitely gone for the day. Dan’s window wall is clear, and I can’t see him in there either. It’s like the Mary Celeste up here. I know Dan will probably be in the apartment, but I decide not to bother him. I slip into his office quietly and place my folder on his desk. I’m about to leave when I hear movement from the back of the office. I stop still and close my eyes. It’s going to be hard to be around Dan and resist the urge to touch him. Oh, who the hell am I kidding, I want to do so much more than bloody touch him.
“Afternoon.” His voice sends a shiver down my spine and I take a deep breath to counter it, my mind taking me right back to his bed.
“Hi,” I say as I turn to face him. Holy what! He’s standing behind me with a fucking towel wrapped round his waist and the remnants of a shower beading on his skin. I mean come on, how the hell am I supposed to stay away from him when he does that.
“Sorry, I have a dinner thing this evening, I was just getting changed and I heard a noise in here.”
“It-its’ okay. I was just dropping off this work from today. Jed now has the first doctored data, so we’ll see how that one pans out. I’m heading home now if that’s okay.”
Dan nods at me and smiles. “Well it is after five, I would have thought you’d have been away ages ago.”
“Yeah I had a couple of things to finish off and the office was too loud earlier. The team are really excited about this project, I think it’s going to be a really good system when it’s done.”
“I know it will and that’s why I don’t want Jed and Astrid to get hold of it. It stands to make us a lot of money and they have already stolen enough from me. As soon as we have enough evidence, I’m going to ruin them.”
I can’t believe I’m standing here having this conversation with him while he’s more or less naked. Get your head together Nikki. I give myself a mental shake.
“Okay, so I should go.” I turn as quickly as I can and leave the office and thankfully, since the building is more or less empty, the lift is still here.
As the doors close, I make a deal with myself to try and stay away from Dan unless it’s absolutely necessary. I can’t trust myself around him.
I should have gone straight home after work tonight yet, here I find myself sitting at a table at the back of a little bar I found nearby the office. I run my finger up the side of my glass and watch the condensation bead and run down to the table. I’m in a contemplative mood after seeing Dan. I want so much to be with him, but I know this is for the best right now. He could lose too much if we went public. I’m caught off guard when the screen of my phone flashes and I see I have a text from my sister.
Hey Nikki, how would you like some auntie duties? X
I know the only auntie duties she could want right now would be babysitting. My other auntie duties will come when Georgie’s older and falls out with her mum.
Sure, you need a babysitter?
Her answer is so quick it’s like she had already typed out her reply.
Yeah tomorrow night. We managed to get a couple of Ed Sheeran tickets this morning. I’m so excited. X
I sigh as I reply. Lucky bitch, I’d love to go and see Ed.
Of course. What time? x
We want to go for dinner first so could you have her from 4? x
I assume it’s in Glasgow so just drop her off at my work she’ll be fine until I’m finished. x
Thanks sis. Hope I’m not disrupting any plans with Dan the man. Hope you had as fun a Saturday night as I did. Lol x
Ugh. Why Charlie? I know her question is completely innocent, but that fact doesn’t make me feel any better about the situation.
See you tomorrow. Xx
It’s a short and sweet reply but it puts an end to the conversation. If it had carried on all it would have done is made me realise how stupid and pathetic I am. I down what’s left of my gin and tonic and head for home. I need to put a little space between Dan and me and hanging around in a bar near work isn’t the way to do that. I wonder if I subconsciously chose to come here because it is close by and I know he’s still there. Since it’s a nice night I decide to walk home and I’m there in no time at all. As I reach the top of the communal stairs and step onto the landing that leads to my front door, I stop dead at the sight that greets me.
There, leaning against the door, is a bouquet of red roses. There must be over a dozen of them and they are pretty stunning, the long stems standing proud and tall against the doorframe. I don’t know why but those red petals against the stark white door is a little unsettling and instinctively I look around to see if there is anyone there. I make my way to the door and lift the flowers and frown as I let myself into my apartment. Dan must have had these sent for me and it makes me feel a little uneasy. Since we’ve made a mutual decision to take things no further right now, I find it strange that he’d send me flowers. There’s a card attached to the flowers and I put them down and open the little envelope. The card is printed and seems to be a poem or a quote.
You say you love the rain,
But you open your umbrella.
You say you love the sun,
But you find a shadow spot.
You say you love the wind,
But you close your windows.
This is why I am afraid,
You say that you love me too.
What the hell is this? I never told him I loved him. I wouldn’t have. Did I? Oh God, did I? I drop the card onto the counter and head for the shower with a million thoughts running wild in my mind.
Chapter Nineteen
I’ve kept a low profile since I got in to work at eight thirty this morning. I really don’t want to see Dan today, not after getting that note. It had me in a bit of a state last night. I honestly don’t know what it means, and I know I wasn’t that drunk on Saturday night that I didn’t know what I was saying. I remember everything about that night, so much so that I have replayed it constantly since.
“Hey Miss Nikki.”
My eyes snap open at Damo’s voice. “Hi. Nice of you to make an appearance today.”
He looks rather sheepishly at me and bites his lip. “Hmm sorry about that.”
“Yeah you should be you little shit. You bloody woke me up on Sunday night drunk-calling me telling me you loved me, and I was your bestie.”
He holds up his hands in defeat. “I know and I’m so embarrassed.”
I smile at him. “It’s just as well I like you or you’d be in big trouble.”
He puts his hands together as if he’s praying and mouths a
thank you to me. “So how did the wedding go?”
He’s getting the edited version and right now I’m glad he wasn’t here yesterday because I may have spilled my guts to him.
“It was lovely, yeah. Gina was beautiful. I know they’ll be so happy especially since their baby will be here in a few months too. Oh, and talking of babies my niece will be here later today. I’m babysitting tonight.”
Damo’s eyes light up. “Oh I love babies; I can’t wait to meet this little lady.” He dumps his bag at his desk. “Coffee sweetie?”
“I could murder one thanks.”
“That’s a bit violent,” he says as he walks away.
The smile I have on my face drops as the lift doors open and Astrid walks out. The fake smile she has plastered on makes me want to be sick. She swans around this place like she’s invincible and it’s only as she makes her way towards me that I realise I have my hands in fists, my nails leaving half-moon dents in my palms.
“Nikki darling, how are you?” Her condescending voice is like scraping nails down a blackboard and the way she talks to me makes me shudder.
“I’m fine Astrid, what can I do for you?”
“Jed wants to see you at some point today. He says there’s something not quite right with the work you handed in yesterday.”
My stomach takes a nosedive. This shouldn’t be an issue right now. The work I’ve handed in should still add up at the moment but will taint the bigger picture when it is all put together. How the hell does he know?
“I’ll go and see him when the rest of my staff are in and we’ve had our morning briefing.”
“I’ll let him know. Ciao.” She turns and struts off leaving me a little shaken.
I don’t know what to do now. I could blow this whole thing if I talk to Jed. I find it hard to handle confrontation, especially when I know so much is at stake.
“You okay Nikki? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Damo puts my mug down in front of me and sits opposite.
“Astrid was just here.”
He rolls his eyes.
“Yeah that’s enough to give anyone the heebie jeebies. She is without doubt the vilest piece of shit I’ve ever had the displeasure of working beside and, believe me I’ve worked with some belters in my time.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “Before I came to work here, I did a four-week stint at a lawyer’s office. The fuckwit I had the displeasure of working with thought she was amazing. In reality she was what I would call an educated idiot. When it came to the law, she could rhyme off anything without having to look it up, but she used to come out with all sorts of stupid things. She really was a fool but harmless. Astrid, well she’s fucking dangerous if you ask me.”
I nod in agreement. “Damo will you excuse me? I need to head upstairs to speak to Dan if you don’t mind.”
“Of course.”
Tabitha is on the phone when I get out of the lift and she smiles at me while ushering me into Dan’s office as if he’s been expecting me. I suppose he probably has been expecting me to appear at some point since he sent me those flowers yesterday. I nod to Tabitha and push open the door to Dan’s office. He’s at his desk looking at some paperwork and has a slight frown on his face. As soon as he sees me his frown turns to a lovely warm smile. He looks genuinely pleased to see me and I have to say it feels nice.
“Nikki hi.”
“Hi.”
“What can I do for you?”
I hate the way we talk to each other now as though nothing has happened between us. I know it’s my own fault. I could make it right, but I would feel like a total hypocrite and it would only serve to show how weak willed I truly am.
“Jed knows.” I get straight to the point because I really need to put some distance between us. If words are how I have to do it then so be it. I take a seat in front of him.
He narrows his eyes at me. “Knows what?”
“Astrid came to me this morning and said Jed wants to see me because my data didn’t add up. You told me this wouldn’t be a problem but yet here we are at the first hurdle and already I want to throw in the towel.”
“Hmm…this is a problem.”
I shake my head. “What do I do here? And how the fuck does he know?”
“He must be running it by someone from the get-go. I underestimated them.”
“You don’t say. Will you tell me more about this Dan? What company has Astrid got ties to?”
He shakes his head. “I already told you the less you know the less you can be held accountable for.”
“Then I’m sorry Dan but I can’t do this.” Where the hell did that come from?
“If that’s how you really feel then so be it. I’ll have HR sort out a severance package for you. I assure you it will be generous given the work you’ve already done.”
Fuck, he’s firing me. I look at him in disbelief. “Oh… um… okay.” I feel tears welling in my eyes. I don’t understand what’s happening here. What the hell have I done?
“What did you think I was going to say Nikki? I already told you that there was only so much you needed to know. It’s safer for you this way.”
I stand and head for the door but stop before I get there. I wasn’t going to mention the flowers but now I need answers. If this is how things have to end, then I want to know what that note was about. I turn back to him.
“Why did you send me those roses Dan?”
His look of puzzlement shocks me slightly and I realise I’ve made a huge mistake.
“I didn’t send you roses Nikki. I fucking hate roses so I’d never send them to someone I…” He shakes his head. “Anyway, why did you think I had sent them?”
I sit back down in the chair and put my head in my hands. “I guess I… hoped it was you.” And then a horrible realisation crosses my mind. Astrid. I won’t say anything about the note. “It must have been a thank you from Gina for being her bridesmaid.” I’m astonished at how plausible I just made that sound.
“Nikki look at me.” I lift my head. “Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to be normal around you since the weekend? How much I’ve wanted to touch you, kiss you, and feel you under me again?”
“I know. I’ve felt the same.” I’m not lying; I have felt the same. I want nothing more than to feel his hands on my body again, to feel his lips on mine, to be held in his arms.
“Then why are we doing this Nikki?”
“I honestly don’t know Dan, my fucked up stupid pride, I guess. This is hard for me. Mike has ruined me. I don’t know what to do. What we did at the weekend, it… well it made me feel like a real person for the first time in as long as I can remember. It felt… right.”
He sighs and leans back in his chair.
“Do you think we could start over? I don’t want to lose you at this company, but I also don’t want to lose you.”
“Dan are you sure you want to do this? I’m not exactly the most stable female on the planet.”
“I think I know how to change that stupid label you’ve given yourself. How about a compromise that might benefit both of us? You tell me what happened to you and I’ll give you as much information on Astrid and Jed as I have.”
This makes me feel good and scared all at once. It means he trusts me enough to let me in, but I don’t know what he’ll think of me when I tell him how I ended up in the situation I did with Mike. “Okay.”
His smile is genuine and beautiful. “Good, then let’s do it right this time.”
He gets up from his chair and rounds the desk until he is standing next to me. I take his outstretched hand and stand so that I am facing him. “Nikki, how would you like to go for dinner on Friday with me?”
“I would love to go for dinner with you.” All of a sudden, I feel rather shy. Good God he’s seen me naked and now I’m shy.
“Okay, I know a great place to eat. We can leave straight from here since there’s an hour or so of travelling.”
“Hmm…I’m intrigued.” I’m genuinely happy that we can work throug
h this and I can tell from his smile that he is too. I was stupid to think I could stay away from him. “Okay, as much as I’d love to stay here with you, I have a job to do, or not do or… well you know.” I laugh at the strange situation we have going on here and it actually feels real, not a fake laugh put on to hide my shame.
“Yes, you do have a job to do and by the end of the week you’ll be fully informed about it all.”
“Till Friday then,” I say as I start to head for the door.
Dan gets there before me and holds the door open for me in such a gentlemanly manner that it makes me chuckle. He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “Till Friday.”
I leave and head for the lift, passing Tabitha who is staring at her computer screen but has a knowing smile on her face. The smile on my own face could rival the Cheshire cat’s, but as I step into the lift, I remember the flowers and my good mood disappears. If it was Astrid, the worst thing I could do is draw attention to it with her. It would only make her feel good about herself and she’d know she’s succeeded in getting under my skin. And she has done just that. It seems every office has one of these bitchy women, but it’s not every day you get to silently have the upper hand over a horror like her. That’s what keeps me going whenever she rears her nasty head.