by C. L Stewart
“Oh absolutely. Her exact words were, ‘I’ll put that fucker’s balls in a vice’.”
I laugh out loud on a stuttered tear laden breath. “I cannot imagine Tabitha saying that. She’s so polite and lovely.”
Now it’s Dan’s turn to laugh. “You haven’t really gotten to know her yet. Just you wait, you’ll never look at her the same again.”
“You’ve met my sister Dan; nothing shocks me anymore.”
“Well, when Jed got his promotion last year, he needed his own PA. Tabitha is already overworked with my schedule, so much so in fact that I’ve offered to find her an assistant. He conducted the interviews with HR and Astrid was the one they all chose. Don’t get me wrong she is good at her job, not as good as Tabitha but she can handle what Jed needs her for.” He leans forward and reaches for his glass, lifting it to his lips.
“So,” he continues, “about six months ago we had a brand-new security software that was in its final weeks of completion and testing. We were doing everything in Glasgow because it’s the biggest of our offices worldwide. I had people there on secondment from all our other offices. It was a huge project because it came with an app as well as round the clock monitoring. I had sunk millions of pounds into the planning and development of it. We had a whole new monitoring and call centre facility built in Germany. This thing had been in the works for over two years and it was going to be our claim to fame. It would have put us up there with the biggest of the tech companies.”
I can tell where this is going, and I even know what software he’s talking about. It takes me a moment to realise I’m sitting looking at him with my jaw almost on the floor. “Oh. My. God. Are you talking about MainSquare?”
Dan’s eyes flash like fire at the mention of the name of what can only be described as a game changer in the world of security software. The breath he takes before he speaks flares his nostrils. “The very one,” he says through almost gritted teeth.
“Fuck! Dan how the hell can you still be working with those traitors? They must have lost you a fortune.”
“Oh yes, to the tune of around five hundred million pounds and billions in future revenue.”
I gasp at that exorbitant amount of money and recall my bank account balance of just over three thousand pounds as of this morning.
“I had gotten a frantic call from Tabitha when I was in the south of France with Olivia telling me what she had heard. By the time I got to our Paris office it was too late. The Main Group already had everything and had made significant enough changes to the user interfaces to be able to pass it off as original work. So, the end use was the same as what we had set out to do but how they got there was completely different. They had absolutely everything. Every piece of information from the original outline to the final product to get the project up and running three weeks before we were due to announce ours.”
I’m rather shocked at what he’s told me so far and I feel terrible for him. Okay so he’s not going to be poor or anything, but this is one of those things, like the iPhone for Apple or Windows for Microsoft. A game changer. “Wow.” Is all I can muster.
“Yeah. I cottoned on to the fact that Jed was somehow involved after a drunken conversation in my office a few weeks after all the hurrah about this new fabulous software had died down. I was explaining that I had chalked it up to experience. Said I’d be more careful about who I had working on my projects in future. He asked me if I thought it was an inside job, but it wasn’t so much what he said as the way he said it and how he reacted when I said yes and that I thought it was someone very close to me. He started sweating and fidgeting. I’m no body language expert but I’ve known enough liars in my life to know when someone is trying to pull a fast one.”
“And how did you figure out that Astrid was involved?” I ask, genuinely interested to know how that nasty piece of shit managed to get herself into all this.
“I hired a company to do a bit of background checking on everyone. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. SecuriSoft employs well over two thousand people across five sites worldwide and I have a few other businesses out with that. I also have my personal staff. You’ve met a few of them already.”
I nod recalling his drivers, pilots, air stewards and Valerie and Nessa.
“Well that’s a lot of information. I rented an office space for them so that they could conduct their investigations away from prying eyes. When I got suspicious of Jed I had them delve deeper into his life and that’s where the Astrid connection came up. He was spotted with her on a few occasions and I have photographic evidence that will be used against them when they are finally outed. Refill?” He asks leaning over to fill his glass up.
“No thanks, I think I over did it earlier.”
He sits back and takes a drink of the whisky. “Here’s the kick in the guts on this whole sorry saga,” Dan continues. “Astrid’s surname isn’t really Laurent. It’s Jansen. She’s related to a guy who used to work at our London office. He left us after he was refused a pay increase and a promotion. If I remember rightly, I was told his exact words as he walked out the door were, ‘Tell Dan King he’s a fucking tosser and his life would be better if he’d given me what I wanted.’ I now know that his threats weren’t empty. He works for The Main Group and I’ve learned that since the release of MainSquare, he now has a seat on the board of the company. Coincidence? I think not. Astrid is his niece.”
“Oh shit.” I’m not sure what else to say.
“Indeed. I have a feeling Jed was doomed from the start. Astrid came for her interview with one purpose in mind and Jed is simply collateral damage. But as I said, unless his wife and kids are being held at gunpoint, he is as much to blame. No amount of money is worth that type of betrayal.”
There’s a sadness in his voice as he talks about Jed. I get the feeling he considered the man a really good friend before all this happened.
“Dan I’m so sorry,” I say softly, placing my hand over his. “Now his reaction to signing the NDA makes sense.”
“Yeah I am too,” he says on a sigh. “It’s not something that’s going to happen again, believe me. So now you know everything, and I meant what I said about knowing you’re good at what you do. You’ll go far Nikki and your job is safe with me for as long as you want it. The work you’ve done so far has been outstanding.”
I smile shyly at him. “You’ve put together an excellent team Dan. They are very good at what they do.”
He nods. “Yeah when I read your credentials, I cherry picked the best people from our Glasgow office and gave them all new roles. Each one has a different skillset that complements the others. They jumped at the chance to get their teeth into a new project.”
“Well, thank you. It made things so much easier for me. And lord knows I need things to be easier.” I shift my gaze to the window. “Dan would you mind very much if we leave my part of this conversation till the morning? I’m exhausted. You’ve given me a lot of food for thought tonight.”
He takes my hand and nods when I look at him. “Take all the time you need. There’s four other bedrooms in this place so take your pick. There’s a case with clothes and toiletries in the hallway for you. My room is the first door on the right.”
I frown at him. “Oh… okay. Well I’ll see you in the morning then,” I say quietly as I get up off the couch.
Dan lets go of my fingers one by one as I start to walk away from him. “Thanks for listening Nikki,” he says with a smile.
I know he’s willing me to talk but I’m not sure I’m ready to bare my soul just yet. I smile back at him and make my way out of the living room, lifting my bag off the dining table as I pass by, and towards the bedrooms grabbing the large cherry red suitcase on the way. I don’t know why but I choose the room furthest away from Dan’s and as I sit on the large bed I’m hit with a huge wall of emotion. I’ve been a victim of domestic abuse and I’m ashamed of it. I don’t know what Dan’s opinion will be of me when he learns the ugly truth and it scares me. �
�Domestic abuse,” I say quietly to the room. And I say victim because I’m struggling to keep it together. The last image I have of Mike haunts my every waking hour and more so in my sleep where I can’t escape the manifestations of him or his actions. I will tell Dan everything, he’s already shared so much about his life with me. I have to give him the chance to know me completely, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The white towel lying on the bed gapes open. The two bars of soap inside seem to sparkle in the moonlight. I look at myself in the mirror and I’m smiling.
“Oops, Mike did it again,” I say to no one in particular. My voice has a sing song air about it, but my cheeks are wet with tears and my eyes are red.
I watch my reflection in the mirror as a purple stain rises up from my neck and starts to cover my face. I’m screaming but my reflection is laughing, a sickening maniacal laugh.
“Wake up you little idiot,” Mike shouts.
I sit up straight in this strange bed and find I’m clawing at my neck. I can’t get a breath and I feel lightheaded. Closing my eyes, I think of the only things I can that make me happy right now. My sister and my niece. Georgie’s little hands and feet, Charlies smile, both of them together. Dan. As my breathing starts to even out and I feel less like I’m suffocating I open my eyes. It’s still dark but the moon is giving off enough light to be able to make out the room.
“It’s okay,” I say to myself although I’ve never sounded so unconvincing.
I grab my phone off the bedside table and check the time. 03:37. Okay, so I got in a solid four hours. Nice one. The suitcase Dan had waiting for me was filled with all sorts of stuff that had me thankful and uneasy all in one go when I opened it last night. For a start, the clothes he had organised were exactly my style and fit and a nice touch was that they were what I’d normally buy. High street stuff like H&M and Zara. That made me thankful, but it was the same thing that made me uneasy. How did he know? Thankfully, I didn’t have the mental energy last night to war with myself over it and now, in this early morning fading moonlight I accept it for what it is, a nice gesture. I know I need to talk to Dan about Mike. I should have spoken to someone about this a long time ago, but he has seen me at some of my most absolute panic-stricken moments lately and if anything is going to happen between us, I need to start being honest with myself and everyone else.
Opening the bedroom door, I stick my head out and listen. The apartment is eerily quiet, but I’m comforted by the muted lighting coming from the bottom of the walls along the floor. It’s subtle but practical. Making my way along the hallway I find Dan’s bedroom door fully open and see him lying on his back in his huge bed, one arm behind his head and the other draped over his belly. A small globular light on the bedside table gives off the softest yellow glow. I can’t help but stare. He is as beautiful in sleep as he is awake. And my God does he look peaceful. For everything this guy has gone through in his personal and work life it surprises me that he sleeps so soundly. I want so badly to go and touch him. To stroke his beautiful face and have him hold me. I startle a little as he stirs, and I move so that I’m out of sight next to the door frame. Peeking round a tiny bit I see that he’s up on his elbows, the white flat sheet stretched over his lower body and under his forearms.
“Nikki?” His sleep laden voice questions.
“Hi,” I say tentatively, revealing myself in the doorway.
“What time is it?” He asks.
“Almost four. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just a bad dream.” And now that I’ve said that, I know what’s coming next.
“Come here,” he says as he sits upright.
I shake my head and try to bite my lip against the threatening tears. “I can’t,” I whisper.
“Yes, you can. Come here Nikki,” his voice is soft and inviting but, more than that, there’s no judgement behind it.
I go to him and sit on the bed facing him.
He reaches out and takes my hands. “Talk to me Nikki, please. Tell me your story.”
I look into his dark eyes and see sincerity and I know it’s time. I have to start letting people in.
“Okay. God where to start,” I sigh and roll my eyes to the ceiling.
Dan doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to; his eyes say more than he could right now.
“I’m a clever, educated woman Dan. I never thought this would happen to me. Ever.” I take a deep breath. “I was in an abusive relationship and it still terrifies me, every hour of every day.”
Dan’s fingers give mine a tiny squeeze and a hint of anger crosses his beautiful face. “What did he do to you Nikki?”
“It was a casual thing at first. He was my immediate manager and he used to flirt with me a lot. I was young and stupid. I’d not long graduated and it was my first job. I’d had a few boyfriends when I was at Uni but nothing serious. Mike gave me lots of attention and it made me feel good about myself. My sister had moved to Scotland when I was twelve, so I didn’t have her, and my parents were constantly busy with work. It sounds clichéd but I think I may have been an easy target for him. You know the little girl craving a father figure’s attention.” I know somewhere in the back of my mind this is what went on but actually saying in out loud for the first time makes me feel all kinds of sick to my stomach.
“And he knew it didn’t he? He took advantage of you.” The disgust in Dan’s voice is palpable.
“Yeah I suppose he did. Everything was good to start with and I was happy just being… well I guess I was his go to bit of stuff. He told me he’d just got divorced when I started at the company and he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious. I was fine with that but then he started treating me like shit at work in front of people. He said it was so that our colleagues didn’t find out about us. If we wanted to move up in the company, we’d have to stay quiet about our relationship.”
“And that’s why you had a hard time with us?” Dan interrupts with more of a statement than a question.
“Dan it was irrational of me to think like that. I know that. He was still nice to me when we were alone at that point, so I took him at his word when he told me that as soon as he got promoted, I’d be too. Never happened. I stayed where I was and got passed over for everything I ever applied for while he just went higher and higher. And that’s when things got worse. I was shocked the first time he hit me.”
Dan takes an audible breath in and hisses it out through his teeth, but he doesn’t say anything, so I continue.
“I had been at his house on a Saturday night. Friday, Saturday and Sunday were the only days I was allowed to stay and only on the weekends he chose. He said we shouldn’t be in each other’s pockets since we worked together too. On that particular Sunday morning I woke up and he was sitting by the bed with my phone in his hand. He asked me why I had so many guys numbers in my phone. I had had the same number since I started Uni so all the numbers I ever had were in my phone. I was popular at University, so I had a lot of guys numbers. Most of the people in my phonebook I hadn’t spoken to for years, if at all. I told him all that and he said I was a dirty liar and that I must be cheating on him. I told him he was being stupid, and he totally lost it. He stormed into the bathroom and came back with a rolled-up towel and hit me hard three times over the back of my body. I later realised why it hurt so much. He’d put two bars of soap in the towel. The bruises didn’t appear for a few days after that but my God when they did, they were disgusting.”
Dan swallows hard and rubs at his temples. “FUCK!!” He shouts, and I jump a little. “I want to find the bastard and fucking kill him.” His face is blazing with fury.
“I’m sorry, I should never have told you,” I say quietly as I run for my bedroom. I know he’s not angry at me, but his reaction has rattled me. I close the door behind me and throw myself on the bed curling into the tiniest ball I can all the while saying over and over in my
head ‘he’s not Mike, he’s not Mike, he’s not Mike’.
“Nikki,” Dan shouts as he bursts in the door and I scream so loudly at the sudden intrusion. “Christ, Nikki I’m so sorry.” He’s at my side in seconds and I’m gently lifted into his arms as he cradles me against his warm body.
I can’t seem to move the pain in my chest as I try to breathe normally.
Dan holds me until it passes and I’m able to function again. “Dan I’m sorry,” I whisper against his chest.
“No Nikki, you’ll never apologise ever again. None of this was your fault. I won’t make you tell me anymore because, if that’s how it started, I can only imagine how it ended. I’ve never understood a man who would use his physical strength against a woman. To me they are cowards and deserve nothing this life has to offer them. I promise I’ll never do anything ever again that scares you the way I just did.”
“He hit me six times after that,” I say. I feel him tense. I know this is going to be hard for him to hear but I trust this man with my life and for some strange reason I feel like telling him will mean that we can start afresh, with no secrets. “You need to know Dan.” I release myself from his lap and sit in front of him. I take his hands in mine. “I can’t keep this to myself and if I am to be in a relationship with you there are going to be times when you might act as you just have, I would hope not at me, but that sort of thing scares the shit out of me.” There are tears in my eyes and as I go to speak again, they fall down my cheeks. Dan lets go of my hand and wipes them away gently with his thumbs.
“It’s killing me to see you like this Nikki. I can’t imagine the terror he put you through. You must have been so scared.”
“I was. But I kept going back to him. I can’t even rationalise why. I have no answers. That’s why, when my parents said they were moving to the UK, I took the chance and applied for this job. You saved my life Dan. Unknowingly so, but you did. I honestly think I’d be dead by now if I hadn’t got out when I did. Either by his hand or my own.”