Chase's eyes blazed. "I should be the one begging you. I am begging you. Let me love you."
In answer, she reached up and unclasped the bra, pulled it off her shoulders, and dropped it to the floor next to her with a flourish. She reached for the button of her pants, but Chase stopped her.
"Let me," he said, and sank to his knees in front of her.
She caressed his scalp as he pressed a line of fiery kisses down her stomach, then gasped as he thankgodfinally freed the button of her jeans, unzipped them, worked them down her hips. She wriggled her ass as he shimmied them down to her feet, then stepped out of them. When she wiggled her hips, Chase's nostrils flared, and his mouth seemed to latch almost involuntarily onto her hipbone, his teeth nipping her skin, as if the sway of her hips drove him wild. She did it again, but this time to a rhythm, swaying side to side in his grip in a belly-dancing bounce. Chase growled, eyes sliding closed as if he couldn't contain his desire. His fingers scraped down her spine, stiffened into talons, raking off her panties--a purple thong matching her bra. She was naked then.
Kneeling in front of her, Chase merely gazed at her once again for several long moments, eyes raking over her full breasts to her wide, curvy hips, to her thick thighs. He reached up, traced his hand down her side, caressing the edge of her breast, then down farther to her hip. Her breath caught as his hands swept around her hips to clutch her ass, exploring the firm flesh, kneading, digging, caressing. His finger swept down the crease, and she instinctively widened her stance to allow him better access. She didn't care where he touched her, she just wanted, needed, his touch. Anywhere. Everywhere. She trusted him to touch her anywhere, everywhere. He didn't push in, but simply explored her body with his hand, caressed the weight of each cheek of her buttocks.
She began to breathe a little then as he kissed her belly, sucking in long, shuddering breaths. He reached up to cup her breast, merely holding its weight at first, then exploring it more thoroughly as he had her ass. She let her head tip back as he rubbed his thumb over her nipple, felt it harden under his touch. Having been settled back on his haunches, Chase now rose up to his knees and kissed the underside of one breast, then the other. Jamie felt her lungs seize again when he took a nipple in his mouth, sucking it between his lips, past his teeth. She moaned gently, and then louder when he worried the nipple in his teeth, gasped when he pinched the other nipple in his fingers. His free hand carved down her ass, down the back of her leg, then back up her thigh, along the inside now.
Jamie let her legs widen a bit more, and his fingers found the damp heat of her entrance. He didn't enter her channel yet, but, as he had her breasts and ass, he merely explored at first, tracing the line of her labia, one side and then other, tickling, probing, touching. He was moving his mouth from one breast to the other now, his one hand clutching her ass, fingers of the other hand darting into the wet heat of her desire.
She smelled the musk of her arousal, potent and pungent, and then, to her mortification, she heard him sniff her, smelling her.
"God, Chase, don't do that!" she said, feeling her cheeks flush. "I smell--"
"You smell incredible," he said, cutting her off. "You smell so good. So good, I just want to...taste you, eat you."
"God...Chase..." This time it wasn't a protestation, but an affirmation.
He had accompanied his words with a swipe of two fingers into her pussy, and her legs buckled, her capacity for speech stolen along with her breath. Jamie rested her hands on the top of his head, rubbing her thumbs in tiny circles, letting her eyes shutter closed. He curled his fingers to explore her inner walls, stroking her insides, exploring her there as thoroughly as he had everywhere else, not seeking yet to bring her to orgasm, but merely learning her body.
Jamie loved his exploration. She would be content to let him explore forever, even if she never came. This touching, this tender, hungry searching of her body, sated her in way she'd never felt, filled the ache in her soul. Already the mountain of frustration was gone, replaced now by a wellspring of contentment, and they'd only begun.
He suckled her nipple into his mouth and drew his face away from her body, stretching her nipple to its fullest, almost painful extension, and then he released it with a wet smack. She felt his gaze on her, opened her eyes to see his wide and full of vulnerability. His hand was resting on her ass, holding her, and the other was delving in her womanhood, dipping and curling and swiping; now, his eyes locked on hers, he traced his middle finger up the wet crease of her pussy and began to circle her clit. He didn't make direct contact yet but merely let his finger drift almost lazily around it. Jamie held her breath, legs buckling to get her core closer to his touch, then, after an endless moment, he brushed the sensitive nub, seemingly by accident. Jamie expelled the breath on a short, sharp moan.
His touch was like fire, like magic. Nothing had ever felt so good. He seemed to know exactly how to touch her, how to give her the most pleasure. She kept her eyes on his, forced her heart open, letting her every thought, every emotion show in her eyes. She'd been holding herself in for so long, containing her feelings, pushing everything down, and now here he was, the man she'd dreamed about, wanted, needed for so long, here in front of her, kneeling before her and worshipping her body with his hands and his mouth.
The hand on her butt trailed down her leg, curled around her ankle, and gently guided her stance wider. She complied willingly, spreading her feet apart until she felt air cold on her bare, bald pussy. Then she held her breath once more as Chase slowly lowered down on his haunches, his gaze never leaving hers. She stroked his head, fingers playing across the ripples and ridges of his scalp, down behind his ears, tracing the hard, masculine line of his strong jaw, thumbs skittering lovingly over his cheekbones before resting once more on the back of his head. His gaze pulled away then, and turned to her core.
"God, Jamie. So sexy. So hot. So perfect." He kissed her belly, cutting a line of kisses across it, making it clear that he liked it, loved it, found it as sexy as the rest of her, and for once she believed him, knew he believed it and felt sexy for him, because of him; his mouth touched lower now, just above her pubis. "Your pussy is so beautiful, Jamie. Just like the rest of you. Hold on to me now. I'm going to kiss you here. I'm gonna make you come so hard."
She clutched the back of his head and shamelessly, wantonly pulled his mouth onto her pussy. "Yes!" she cried out, the word a gasp of intense pleasure.
His tongue teased her clit, lapped up the crease from bottom to top and then again, licking her. His fingers had never left her, had been slowly working toward her G-spot and were massaging it gently. When he thrust his tongue against her clit, he began to work her G-spot harder. She arched her back and let her knees buckle once more, lowering herself to his mouth. He began a rhythm now, tongue circling her clit, moving his fingers against the sensitive ribbed flesh high inside her walls, free hand caressing and clutching her breast, cupping it, thumbing the nipple, pinching it.
She held on to him, held him against her, bobbing her body up and down into his tongue, into his fingers. She was close already, despite his promise to make it slow.
Then he pulled away, and she heard a whimper of frustration rip from her lips. "Chase! Don't stop, I was close--"
"I said it was going to be slow." He stood up, leaving his fingers inside her, moving them from her G-spot to her clit, circling and stimulating, but not enough to let her come. "You need to lie down, love. I wouldn't want you to fall."
"You seem pretty confident you're gonna make me come that hard, huh?" She tried to make her voice steady and flippant, but it still came out breathy and small.
"It's not confidence, babes. It's knowledge. I know how hard I'm gonna make you come."
"Oh, yeah? How do you know?"
He pushed her back toward the bed until her knees hit, then pushed her again so she was bending awkwardly backward, her feet still planted on the floor. He crushed his body against hers, his cock against her belly, hot and hard. She wante
d it. She hooked her feet around his waist and jerked him toward her, reaching between them to grab his shaft.
He laughed and let her touch him, their wrists crossed and bumping as he mercilessly and skillfully caressed her stiffened clit with his fingers, her hand pumping cock greedily. He kissed her lips, and she tasted her own juices on his lips, his tongue, as she knew he tasted himself in her mouth. He crawled up onto the bed, forcing her to let go of him or risk hurting him, so she scooted backward until she felt a pillow beneath her head. He stopped, and then began to slip back down her body, taking his cock out of her reach. She wanted to touch him more, hold him, caress him, kiss him. She wanted him in her mouth again, in her pussy, against her belly and between her breasts, all over her. She wanted him everywhere--
Then his teeth brushed her clit, his lips forming a seal against her labia, sucking her nub into his mouth. She let her legs fall apart and went limp into his touch, gasping a whimper when he slipped his fingers deeper once more, pressing circles onto her G-spot, and she knew she was rising again, nearing orgasm again.
So, of course, he slowed down. She wanted to cry out in frustration, and opened her mouth to do so, but her growl turned into a moan as his free hand drifted between her legs, beneath his other hand and sought out her most secret place. She clenched up, legs squeezing, buttocks tensing.
"Chase...no...not yet."
He grunted, still swiping his fingers inside her. "No? Not ready for that yet?"
She shook her head, unable to get a word out past her trembling, shaking lips. She was on the verge of orgasm still, held there by his fingers inside her, by his tongue inside her. She wasn't able to fall over the edge, though, clenched up and tensed up and and quivering at the feel of his long middle finger waiting at the crease of her ass, mere centimeters from the tight knot of her anus.
He left his finger there, and she tried to forget its presence but couldn't, and that kept her just this side of orgasm.
"I want to come, Chase, please!"
"Then come."
"I can't--I can't. You...your finger. It's too close to my asshole. I'm...I can't. Not that. Not yet."
He moved his hand away, drifting upward with deliberate slowness to cup her left breast, the larger one, the one he seemed to favor. She arched into his touch, gasping, scratching lightly down his scalp with her fingernails. He shuddered and moaned when she did that, and the vibrations of his voice on her clit sent her spiraling over the edge, writhing uncontrollably beneath him, pushing her core into his mouth, shameless, needing more, more, and he gave her more, tonguing her relentlessly, milking her orgasm, sliding his fingers within her, pinching her nipple almost-but-not-quite too hard, just this side of painful.
She rode the waves of climax, clinging to Chase's head, pushing him between her thighs until she couldn't take any further stimulation, and then she pulled him upward. He let himself be dragged up to lie next to her, stroking her skin with his palms, roaming over her belly and arms and thighs, but giving her sensitive, swollen tissues a brief respite from his attentions.
Jamie held him to her chest, then pulled him to her mouth for a kiss, tasting herself on him even more strongly. The kiss sparked her need all over again, and she twisted on the bed so she was facing him, partly on top of him, tracing the contours of his chest with her fingers. She slowly drifted her touch downward, following the hard lines of his ribs, then the ridges of his abdomen, then the sexy V-cut leading to his achingly hard cock.
He gasped into the kiss when she took him in her hand, moaned low in his throat when she caressed his length.
"I want you inside me," she whispered, her lips moving against his.
He took her hips in his hands and lifted her all the way on top of him, then paused to grunt a single word, "Protection--"
"I have some in my purse." Jamie looked away, then back to Chase, their eyes meeting in an acknowledgement of the awkwardness brought on by the tacit understanding of what that meant. "I know that's--I'm sorry if--"
Chase slid out from beneath her and grabbed her purse from the floor, handing it to her. "I know. You don't need to be sorry. You're here with me now. That's all that matters, right?"
"Right," Jamie agreed.
She dug in the purse and produced an unopened box of condoms, set them on the table beside the bed. They both stared at the box. Jamie pushed away the niggling worm of doubt deep inside her, the part of her that wanted to bring up the reasons why there might be other things that mattered besides being there in the hotel room with Chase. She wanted so badly for that to be all that mattered, but there were other things.
"Chase, I--"
He flopped backward, rubbing his face with his palm. "There are other things that matter. That's what you're going to say, isn't it? I know, Jay. I know."
"No one has ever called me Jay except...except--"
"Except Anna. You can say her name, you know. I'm not gonna flip out or get weird. She's my ex-girlfriend, not my ex-wife. And honestly, I'm not sure 'girlfriend' is even the right word for what we had. We never discussed the nature of it, never put our relationship in a box. But whatever. That's completely beside the point." Chase sat up again and took Jamie's hands in his. "The point is, you don't have to tiptoe around the subject of Anna with me. I'm here. You're here. There are issues, yes, and I'm not saying I don't care about them, because I do. But...I don't want to care about them right now. I just want to be with you right now."
Jamie shifted on the bed, torn between awkwardness and worry and desire. "I want to be with you, too. I just...I'm worried we're...I don't know. Never mind. It's nothing."
Chase hissed in exasperation. "Oh, come on Jamie! Don't give me that 'it's nothing' bullshit. Say what you think. Say what you feel."
Jamie tugged the blankets down and tucked the flat sheet over her chest. "I'm worried we rushed into this."
"Rushed--Jamie...how can you think that? How long have we been denying what we feel for each other?"
"Not that. This," Jamie said, gesturing to their naked bodies, to the bed. "Both of us were with other people, like today."
Chase growled in frustration, rubbing his palm over his head, a gesture Jamie was learning meant extreme distress and helplessness. "Fuck. Fuck, you're right." He settled the sheet over his lap, hiding his softening erection. "I wish I could deny it, but I can't. I can't say it didn't mean anything to me, because it did."
"What did?"
Chase hesitated. "Being with Tess."
"Oh." Her voice was small. "I'm sorry, Chase. I wish...I wish this conversation could have waited until after we'd been able to--"
"No, it's probably better this way. I don't know what we're supposed to do, though. You know? I mean, yeah, I was with someone else earlier today. So were you. I don't like the thought of you with another man any more than you like the thought of me with another woman. But it's the facts, and you can't change facts." He took one of her hands in his, rubbing the pad of his thumb across one of her fingernails. "So are we supposed to wait a specific period of time? A day? A week? A month? How long is appropriate? We've already talked about why we were with other people and what it meant to us and all that. I don't see any reason to go back over all that."
"I don't want to wait, either, Chase, but--"
"How long is long enough? What's the right reset period, or whatever? I'm not being flippant. I'm not just trying to gloss over the problem so we can get it on. I'm asking honestly."
The sincerity and confusion and anguish in his eyes had Jamie scooting closer to him. Chase moved so he was leaning back against the bed, partially sitting and partially reclining, then pulled Jamie over to him so she was resting her head on his chest, the sheet covering both of them. Jamie took a few deep breaths, taking in his scent, the feel of his muscles under her cheek, his broad male bulk a comforting presence as much as it was a sensual turn-on. Her hand settled on his diaphragm, between his chest and belly, and he tangled his fingers with hers.
Silence stretched ou
t as Jamie tried to come up with an answer, but all she could think of in the moment was how perfect and comforting and warm it was being held by Chase. His arm around her shoulders, tucking her close against him, his fingers tangled with hers, the rise and fall of his breathing, the faint thump of his heartbeat....
He felt like home.
"I don't know what the answer is, Chase. But I've just spent so long ignoring the truth about so many things, I can't--I can't do it anymore."
"What truths have you ignored?"
She snorted. "God. Everything. For most of my adult life I've ignored how lonely I was. How miserable and fucking pathetic my life was. I ignored how shitty I felt about myself, how trashy I knew I was."
"You aren't--"
"Don't, Chase." She cut him off sharply, almost snapping. "I was. I fucked anything with a cock from the time I was sixteen, okay? Sure, I had fairly legitimate reasons. But that doesn't change it. And I got good at pretending it didn't bother me, to the point that I almost believed it. But I can't pretend anymore. This doesn't even really have anything to do with you. When I met you in Vegas, Anna had dared me to go celibate for two months. The dare was no physical male contact. No kissing, nothing. I couldn't even go a day. I kissed you. Then I went home and did okay for a while, but then I got drunk and...well, bad things happened that I don't want to go into with you just yet."
"Jamie--"
"Shut up and let me answer the question."
"'Kay."
"I pretended a lot of things. I pretended I wasn't in love with you. I pretended I was okay without you, that this between us wasn't the most powerful thing I'd ever felt. And now...I can't pretend. I just want the truth out there, good or bad."
"So what is the truth for you?"
"I want you. Even still, in the middle of this whole heavy conversation, I can't stop wanting you. I'm partially wishing I could let myself just stop talking and get you hard and take you. Ride you. Suck you off again. Let you do whatever you want to me. But...I can't push away the truth that this thing between us is still impossible."
"It's not impossible. It's just complicated."
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