"But this is what you want?"
Jamie sighed, holding back tears. "Yes. I love him. But regardless of what I want, I'm pregnant with his child, Anna. And he's not gonna just run off, you know that as well as I do. He wrote this song for me, and it was how he was going to propose. He had the ring and everything, for, like, two weeks. And then I found out I was pregnant but didn't tell him right away, because he was touring and it just never seemed like the right time, and I was scared of how he was going to react and--and then the show at Palace happened. He was so amazing, Anna. You should have seen him. But he knew something was up with me, and I didn't want to tell him until after the show, not wanting to distract him or whatever."
"But that didn't work," Anna said.
"No, that didn't work. He looked so torn up by whatever it was he was thinking I was gonna tell him. I think he kinda suspected. So I told him, right near the end of the show. Right in the middle of the fucking concert."
"Like, he was onstage when you told him?"
"No, dumb-ass," Jamie laughed. "He was offstage during an instrumental number the rest of the band was doing. He pulled me aside and begged me to tell him what was wrong. So I did. Then Gage dragged him back on to finish the concert, which he did. I don't know how, but he did."
"He's a consummate performer, if nothing else. The man knows what he's doing onstage, I'll give him that."
"So then the show ended and the lights were going up and everything. I mean, people were getting up to leave, and Chase just swaggers out on stage with a guitar."
"He plays the guitar? I didn't know that."
"Yeah, neither did I, oddly. I mean, he's a singer, and he writes all their songs, so I guess it shouldn't be too much of a surprise, but it was. So he gets a mic and a stool and plugs in the guitar and goes into this whole bit about how he doesn't usually do this kind of thing but it's a special occasion."
"Oh, shit. I think I know where this is going."
"Yeah, it's going there. So then he calls me out onstage with him. In front of a sold-out Palace crowd. Me. And then he sings this incredible song, which ended with him proposing, in the song. The song was the proposal. And then he showed me this ring and I said yes and we kissed on stage in front of thousands of people...god, Anna. It was the craziest thing that's ever happened to me. And he'd been planning on proposing that way all along, just not in front of a huge crowd, I guess. But then he found out I was pregnant and just couldn't wait."
Anna shook her head. "That would have mortified me, but...it works for you, I think."
"I was shitting myself, Anna. It was sweet and romantic and incredible, but...terrifying. I'm not even a performer like you."
They sat in silence for several long minutes, each thinking.
Then Anna spoke. "So we're going to have babies together, Jay. You realize that? I'm a little over nine weeks myself."
"That's crazy, Anna. You and me, both with men, both about to have babies. At the same time."
Anna threaded her fingers through Jamie's. "BFFs, Jay. This thing with you and Chase is tough, but...You're clearly happy with him, so all I can do is be happy for you. We'll be fine. It'll be fine, right? Our men will learn to be friends, and Chase and I will get over the awkwardness, right?"
"There's only one thing to do at this point, you know that, right?" Jamie took a deep breath. "We have to go on a double date."
Anna's eyes widened. "You do remember that Jeff punched Chase, right?"
Jamie winced. "It might be a little awkward, yes."
Both women giggled nervously at the prospect.
*
Chase tried to ignore the butterflies in his stomach as he and Jamie followed the hostess back to the booth in Andiamo's where Anna and Jeff were waiting. He held Jamie's hand loosely, forcing himself not to clench her hand as tightly as he could.
"Hey, it's gonna be fine," Jamie said.
"Yeah. I know."
"Just breathe and be yourself, okay?"
"It's been more than a year since I saw her last, and a lot has changed since then," Chase said. "In my head, I know it's fine. But I just can't help being nervous."
Jamie just squeezed his hand. Anna and Jeff both stood up as Chase and Jamie approached. Chase eyed Jeff warily, resisting the urge to rub his jaw where Jeff had decked him. Jeff seemed relaxed, but the tension in the corners of his eyes betrayed his nerves. Anna had always worn her heart on her sleeve, so Chase could easily see that she was every bit as nervous as he was.
Chase shook Jeff's hand, then turned to Anna. "Hi," he said.
His hands hung loosely at his sides. He wasn't sure if he should hug her or not, and Anna seemed just as confused. He settled for leaning in from far away and giving her the kind of hug he'd give to a great-aunt he didn't see but once every few years: careful, hesitant, and awkward.
"Hi," Anna said, stepping away.
Her jaw was tight, Chase saw. She was taking slow, careful breaths, hands at her sides, rubbing her dress as if to dry sweaty palms.
"You look great," Chase said. "Jamie told me you and Jeff are expecting, so...congratulations."
"Thanks. Yeah, we're pretty happy." She glanced at Jeff, seemed to draw strength from his presence. "I hear double congratulations are in order for you and Jamie. Engaged and pregnant."
"Yeah, thanks..."
Jeff pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning. "You two are so awkward right now, it's making me nervous." He put his hand on the small of Anna's back. "As much as I hate to suggest this, the only way for any of us to enjoy dinner is if you and pretty boy here go and talk this out. Get the awkward shit out of the way."
Chase rolled his eyes at the nickname, then nodded. "You're probably right, cowboy." He and Anna went to the bar, found seats side by side. "Mind if I have a drink?" he asked.
"No, go ahead. I could use one, but I'm saving my one half-glass of wine allowance for after dinner."
Chase ordered a whiskey on the rocks, and they sat in silence while the bartender poured it. Chase took a sip, then turned sideways on the barstool and faced Anna. "You really do look great, Anna. You're glowing."
She laughed. "Everyone says that about pregnant women, and I have to admit, I don't see what the hell people are talking about. Jamie looks happy, but glowing?"
Chase shrugged. "It's kind of a stupid phrase, isn't it? I mean, clearly you're not actually glowing, 'cause that'd be weird."
"Yeah, probably not too great for the baby, either."
They laughed together, and the tension seemed to ease. Then Anna drew a deep breath, and Chase knew the serious part of the talk was about to happen.
"I don't know if I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I want to preface this by saying that I'm glad things happened the way they did. I wouldn't change anything--"
"I wouldn't, either--"
"Let me finish," Anna cut in. "What I need to say is that I'm sorry for not giving you a chance to explain, back in New York. It seems like a million years ago, like it happened to someone else. But the fact remains, I wasn't fair to you."
Chase let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, a breath he felt like he'd been holding since that day in New York. "Thank you, Anna. You can't know how much that means to me." He found her gray eyes with his, shocked by how familiar, yet how foreign, her eyes were to him, after all this time. "I didn't do anything with them, you know. Not that it changes anything, but...you should know. Those girls were coming on to me. I was pushing them away."
"I know that now. But then, all I saw was the thing I was most afraid of, happening. I heard you say something about not wanting me to find out, and--"
"What I was going to say was, 'I don't want Anna to see this and think I'm cheating on her.'" He sipped his whisky. "I was really mad for a long time, Anna. I felt so wronged, you know?"
"Like I said, I'm sorry. I didn't give you a chance to explain, then or later. But...I don't think it would have worked with us, even if there wasn't Jeff in the picture."
/>
Chase nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right."
Anna paused for a long moment, then said, "Chase...do you still have feelings for me? Truly?"
He set the tumbler down and stared into the amber depths. "Now? No. Is there some tiny part of me that wonders what might have been? Sure. A tiny part. But the rest of me knows that if you left like you did, then we weren't meant to be. If you had wanted it to work, then you would have given me a chance to explain." He met Anna's eyes. "Do you, for me?"
"Like you said, there's a tiny part of me that wonders, but it's so insignificant in comparison to the way I love Jeff, and the way I already love this little life inside me, that it doesn't even matter."
Chase nodded his agreement, feeling the same way. He let himself really look at Anna. He could admit to himself that he was still attracted to Anna on some physical level, since she was a beautiful woman and was glowing with the shine of pregnancy, but it was the kind of attraction a guy would feel for a movie star, distant and idle. He'd been worried that if he saw Anna all he would be able to think of was the time they'd spent together. He was worried he'd have images of her in his head, the way they'd been together.
That wasn't there, though. All he saw was Anna, his fiancee's best friend. Those images had long ago been scoured away by the force of Jamie in his mind, in his soul, in his heart, in his body. If he closed his eyes and thought of sex, all he could see was Jamie, green eyes bright and copper curls wild as she came apart beneath him. There had never been anyone else but her.
"So we can be friends?" Anna asked.
"Friends," Chase answered, shaking her hand.
There was no spark when their hands touched, no electricity between them. He finished his whiskey, and they went back to the table, finding Jamie and Jeff deep in discussion about some movie or another.
The rest of the dinner was comfortable. There were still some awkward silences, but it was clear the bulk of the brooding tension everyone had been worried about had dissipated.
When they all parted, Chase gave Anna a hug, a real hug this time. "I'm happy for you," he said to her. "All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, and to see your own worth. Now you do, and I'm--I'm happy for you."
Anna stepped away from him, toward Jeff, but she kept her eyes on Chase, a tear shining in one eye. "You did, Chase. You helped me see my own worth, and that was a priceless gift. So...thank you."
She turned away before he could respond, and he was glad.
Jamie twined her fingers in his, gazing up at him as he watched Anna and Jeff drive away.
10
Jamie tried unsuccessfully not to fidget while Kelly Delany adjusted the pins holding her veil in place. She couldn't help shifting in the chair, however. She was jittery with nerves and excitement. More excitement than anything else.
"Hold still, Jamie," Kelly hissed. "I've almost got it, if you would just sit still for five seconds."
"I'm sorry, Kelly. I'm just excited."
"Of course you are. But unless you want to marry my son with your veil half on, you'll sit still."
Jamie drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing her eyes and picturing Chase in his tuxedo. She tried not to picture herself helping him out of it; she wasn't quite successful in this, either, and she felt her belly flutter and her core grow warm at the images running through her head. She must have shifted unconsciously, because Kelly hissed as a pin came loose. Finally the veil was in place, and Kelly was standing back, admiring her handiwork. Jamie finally allowed herself to stand up, turn in place, and look at herself in the mirror.
She wore a strapless, high-waist dress, the material gathered beneath her breasts and draping over her curves. Her belly was obvious beneath the dress, but it still managed to conceal the slight bump while flattering her figure. Her hair was mostly down, the curls brushed to a shine and teased and sprayed into a luxurious fall of springy copper ringlets, just the curls around her face drawn back behind her head. She fought a rush of tears at her own reflection, at the realization that she was about to walk down the aisle and marry Chase.
She breathed deeply, pushed the welter of emotions down, and turned back to Kelly. "Thank you so much, Kelly. I don't know what I would have done without you."
Anna returned from the bathroom at that moment, and immediately held a crumpled Kleenex to her eyes. "Jay, you look--" she sniffed back tears. "You look incredible. So beautiful. You're gonna take his breath away."
"I hope so."
"I know so. Hooker, you sexy." Anna frowned. "I probably should stop calling you that, huh? Now that you're being made an honest woman."
Jamie glared at her best friend. "If you stop calling me 'hooker,' we'll be fighting. How am I supposed to know you're my best friend if we don't call each other names?"
Anna laughed and pulled Jamie into a hug. "Seriously. You look stunning. I can't believe you're about to get married."
"Me, neither. Now let go before you mess up my veil. Kelly might kill you if you mess it up," Jamie said, backing away.
"Fine, ho."
"Shut up, bitch."
Anna smoothed her dress over her belly. "Two pregnant women hugging. That's awkward."
"You're awkward."
Kelly stepped between them, fluttering her hands. "Enough, you two. We have a wedding to get on with."
Jamie took a deep breath, sobering. "Lead the way, Mom-to-be."
Kelly and Anna walked ahead of Jamie, leading her to the double doors leading into the chapel. Jeff was waiting by the doors, rugged and handsome in his tuxedo. Jamie took his proffered arm, let out another deep breath, then nodded. Kelly and Anna pushed open the doors, preceding Jamie down the aisle.
In the months between Christmas and the wedding date, things between Jamie and her parents had grown worse, a combination of jealousy over Jamie's happiness, hypocritical disapproval of her being pregnant and unmarried, and just plain cantankerousness. Eventually, Jamie had made the decision to have Jeff give her away at the wedding, and left her parents out of it. The moment she made the decision, she'd felt a weight fall away from her, and the well of happiness inside her had only grown deeper. Her parents had never been much to her besides a source of trouble and hurt, so the decision to stop trying completely had been a relief.
Now she walked down the aisle at a stately pace, the wedding march played by live string quartet. The chapel pews were about half-filled, mostly with Chase's friends and family. Jamie's aunt and uncle on her mom's side had shown up by invitation, and a few of her other friends, most notably Lane and his partner Matty. There was no bride and groom's side, although Chase's band and their girlfriends took up a large portion of the chapel on the right side.
Her eyes found Chase's. He looked stunned, his eyes wide, jaw slack, gaze wavering in shocked adoration. Jamie felt a hot bolt of desire for him. That need--it was always there, simmering just beneath the surface. No matter how much time she spent with him, her hunger for his sculpted body and skilled hands and hot mouth never lessened.
If anything, she wanted him more than ever with every passing day.
His eyes raked over her a second time, and this time she saw the tender lover give way to the fierce fires of lust. She took his hands when she reached him, only halfway hearing the words passing around her. She barely heard as the minister spoke the words, and although she reacted in the correct places, her attention was focused on Chase, on his chiseled features, high cheekbones and strong jaw, blazing brown eyes and simple black plugs in his gauged ears, plain black leather bands circling his wrists beneath the sleeves of his tuxedo. His head was freshly shaved, gleaming in the light. His arms stretched the material of the suit, custom cut to fit his powerful physique like a glove.
The service passed quickly, to Jamie. They exchanged the standard vows, which Jamie made it through dry-eyed.
Then, after the minister pronounced them man and wife and they'd kissed, Chase turned to Jamie with a grin. "I proposed to you with a song, so it only makes sense
that I marry you with one," he said.
A guitar was brought to him from somewhere, and he slipped the strap over his head, strummed the strings with the pick, adjusted the tuning a bit, and then took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He strummed again, then set about picking the tune of song he'd proposed to her with. A YouTube video of his proposal song had surfaced and gone viral, so many people in the pews had probably heard it already, but Chase had a way of capturing attention and keeping it, no matter what he did.
He sang the song through, his eyes never leaving Jamie's. Then he got to the ending lines, which Jamie realized he'd altered slightly to suit the occasion. Now he sang,
"How did I bind you to me?
How did I seal closed the spaces between us?
With a six-word spell, a vow spoken:
'With this ring, I thee wed.'
You married me, my love.
You are my forever."
Now Jamie's emotions, contained up to this point, burst free. She flung herself at Chase as the last notes hung in the air, and he slung the guitar by its strap around his back to wrap her in his arms. He pressed his lips to hers and devoured her mouth, then pulled away, whispering, "I love you, Jamie Delany."
She grinned at the sound of her name joined with his, but she was still crying too hard to speak the words back. She just pressed her cheek to his and let him guide her out of the chapel. He stood with her on the steps in the bright spring sunshine, his arms strong around her. Now, alone with him, albeit briefly, she was able to speak.
"I love you so much, Chase. So much." She rested her chin on his chest and gazed at him, letting her eyes take on a lustful, playful burn. "You look so hot in that tux, by the way."
Chase rumbled in laughter. "You, in that dress...I'm not sure how I'm gonna make it through the reception without pinning you against a wall and fucking your brains out."
Jamie smiled lasciviously, reaching between their bodies to stroke his zipper, feeling him come to life under her touch. "So don't."
"Seriously?" He quirked an eyebrow at her.
"Would I joke about such a thing?"
He kissed her again, but their embrace was broken up by the doors opening. They pulled apart and greeted the people streaming out of the chapel, thanking them for coming and exchanging other pleasantries. Eventually the last of the attendees were gone, and she and Chase, along with Anna, Jeff, Kelly, and Gage, the rest of the bridal party, took the requisite pictures.
Rock Stars Do It Forever Page 14