Chapter 10
I knew she would come. Karen thought as she watched Eddy enter the hospital room. Wow, she looks so different up close. When I first saw her last year, I thought she was wearing a funny wig, but it’s her real hair. I’ve never seen hair that looks like dryer lint. She was tempted to touch her hair to see what it felt like. I guess I shouldn’t touch it. That would be rude.
Karen was intrigued by Eddy’s appearance and continued to watch her closely. She compared her mother’s fine facial lines to the deep set lines on Eddy’s face and neck. Wow, she must be really old, even older than Aunt Marge or Grandma. I was hoping that she could help us, but I don’t think someone that old can help. We really need someone who is younger, and they would definitely have to be strong.
“It was just me and Fred. We never had kids,” Eddy said.
Oh no, she doesn’t know anything about children, Karen thought. How can she help Porter if she hasn’t had any children? “I’m sorry, Porter. I told you to take the dove to the wrong house.” Maybe I didn’t look hard enough to find the right person. Isn’t there anyone who is younger and loves children?
Karen had watched her neighbors carefully, studying their habits, observing their visitors, keeping notes in her notebook about their activities. There were so many people who looked untrustworthy. Eddy had been the only one that Karen believed she could trust. She didn’t want Porter to be by himself when her mother was at work. He needed someone to help him. Their family’s problems had been hard on everyone including Porter. Not only had he started stuttering, but he seemed so sad.
Karen could feel the substantial weight of his sadness. He deserves so much better than what he has been given in life. If there were just someone who would spend time with him and tell him about life. But they would also need to be fun. He needs to just have fun like a normal kid.
Porter stood next to Karen's bed, as he had so many times in her life. He had always been there for her. “Thank you for being my friend, Porter,” she said.
Friends had been hard to find. She had so longed to make friends at school, but they hadn’t been able to see past her wheelchair. She remembered the sharp pain of rejection, as she reminisced about her last days at the public school. The kids had gawked at her, as she sat in the backseat of the car while her mother retrieved the wheelchair from the trunk. She had sat silently, as the children pointed and made sarcastic remarks. “Freak, Gimp,” they yelled. Her mother pretended she didn’t hear, as she struggled to help Karen into the wheelchair. Then she pushed her down the halls, past the stony stares, and into the classroom. “I think this is the only place the wheelchair will fit,” the teacher had said as she pointed to an area to the right and in front of the class. Her mother kissed her on the cheek and then left her there all alone.
She had sat facing the class, where she could see all the kids’ faces; all their sneers, all of their contempt, all their rejection. She anxiously awaited the ring of the lunch bell, or any bell that would give her a short reprieve from her classmates’ disdain. The personal care attendant arrived at the lunch bell’s ring, and took her away to a corner of the cafeteria reserved for the handicapped. She welcomed the row of wheelchairs; at least they did not stare or make fun of her.
There were a handful of personal care attendants, some of whom were students working to obtain their teaching certificate. Some of them were nicer than others, but Maggie was Karen’s favorite. Maggie would sit and talk with Karen like she was a normal person. She really understood how Karen felt and helped her cope with the stress at school.
Stress not only from her disabilities, but also because she had missed a lot of school. She had struggled to keep up with her studies but found that she only got further and further behind. Maggie helped her with homework and made even the dull schoolwork fun.
Maggie’s life seemed so exciting to Karen. Not only did she go to college, but she had a car and a boyfriend. She often talked with Karen about him and even asked for her advice. Karen thought Maggie’s boyfriend did not treat her very well. “You could have any guy you want,” Karen had said. But, Maggie didn’t seem to realize her own worth, and had laughed at Karen’s counsel.
Maggie fixed her long, wavy, blonde hair in a variety of ways. Sometimes she added a hot pink or purple extension to her hair, or wore it in ponytails fastened with glittery clips. Maggie had promised Karen that when her hair grew back, she would fix Karen’s hair any way she wanted. She had come to visit Karen a couple of times since she had been at home, but it had been several months since they had last spoken. Porter had liked her too, I wish she could help.
Her thoughts were interrupted when her father entered the room. “Daddy!” It seemed like it had been so long since she had seen him. “Why are you crying? Don’t cry.” He wasn’t looking at her. Why won’t he look at me? She tried again to get his attention. “Dad, do you remember when?” Again he ignored her, but Karen continued. “Remember when you had lunch with me at school on parent’s day? You brought pizza from Tony’s Pizzeria. The kids thought I had the best dad ever.” She watched her family cry. Why are they so sad? Please stop crying, everybody, please.
Eddy spoke up, “Well, if you wouldn’t mind, could I take the boy with me for a little while? Joe and I could take him to get something to eat, and I promised him I’d tell him about Babe Ruth.”
Karen sized Eddy up once more .Her eyes are kind but tough, she thought. She does seem to want to help, and she doesn’t look dangerous. And for some reason, I feel drawn to her. It is something I can’t describe. She must be the person I have been waiting for. “Porter, this is our new friend,” she tried to say, but the words fell silent. I haven’t had this happen before. Maybe I need to rest for a little while longer, and then I will be strong enough to tell Porter.
She listened quietly as her mother and Eddy talked. Why are they talking about me as if I’m not here? It was like a dream. She could see everyone clearly, but her eyes were closed. It was as if she was looking down on them. It was disorienting. She examined her arms and hands and felt her face. They felt as real to her as life itself. Hey, wait a minute. Something is different. I feel good. I feel really good. I don’t feel tired or have pain. She examined her legs and felt the strength of them. Wow, my legs look like runner’s legs. Getting up, she walked around the room. She hopped up and down. No wheelchair, she said. No more wheelchairs, ever.
“Dad, look. I can walk. Can you believe it? Look at me!”
I think I could do anything or go anywhere. “Remember you told me we would go to Disneyland when I felt better. Maybe we can finally go. I mean I think I’m strong enough, but if I’m still not quite ready. Could you take Porter instead? That would be great! If you could please just spend more time with him. He loves you so much, and he needs you.”
“Karen,” her father said. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been there for you lately.” He picked up her hand and held it close to his cheek. A tear rolled down his face, and like a drop of hot silver, spilled onto her hand. She watched it slip through her fingers and slide onto the floor. “I’ve been trying to work and make enough money to help you, Mom and Porter, but it seemed the harder I worked, the harder it became to come and visit. I’m so sorry. Karen, please forgive me.”
“I understand, Dad.” She put her arm around her father’s shoulder and whispered, “You’re the best dad in the world.”
Karen stood beside her mother. “Maybe things can be different and you and Dad won’t be so mad at each other anymore. Maybe you could go to Disneyland with Dad and Porter. After all, you and Dad used to be friends a long time ago. Do you remember?”
Karen ran her fingers through her mother’s hair. “Thank you, Mom, for all the nights you stayed up with me when I was sick, and for taking such good care of me. Thank you for the songs you sang to me late at night.” Karen kissed her mother’s cheek, but her mother turned and walked toward the window.
I don’t understand why they won’t answer me. Someth
ing is definitely different. But look at me, I can walk. She smiled exuberantly. She stretched her arms out wide and swung them in big circles.
I feel as light as air. Extending her arms out before her, she felt a warm breeze through her hair. She laughed, “Look at me, I can fly.” Porter would love this.
Suddenly she was next to Porter. She tried to pick up his hand, but she could not pick it up. Odd, she thought. She said, “Mom, Porter,” but they didn’t seem to hear her. She called them again only louder, but still they ignored her. She stood in front of her mother and waved her hand in front of her mother’s face. “Mom,” she yelled.
Carol grabbed the Cabbage Patch doll from her overnight bag and tucked it under the sheet. “Please wake up, Karen, please.”
“Here I am, Mom,” Karen said, but again her mother did not answer.
“I don’t understand,” Karen said, as she walked around the bed and saw her body lying motionless.
A Dove for Eddy Page 10