by Raina Ash
Allison sighed. “I’ll forgive you, but only if you give me time alone with him.”
He nodded.
When they exited the van, Noah handed Paul and Allison two backpacks each - one full, one empty.
“This one,” Noah said, “is emergency supplies for each of ya. Water, food packs, an aspivenin pump for bites, sunscreen, first aid, all those items. This other pack’s got room for anything ya like - clothes, camera, whatnot. I also threw in chargers so ya can take piccies with ya phones, no worries about power. Hasan’ll take good care of the rest of ya luggage ‘til we return.”
“Well, thank you,” Allison said, being sure to squeeze Noah’s shoulder.
After sorting through her luggage and selecting clothes for the next two days, she slathered on sunscreen and slung the full backpack over her shoulders. She and Paul followed Noah to the camels. Four of them were resting casually on the ground and one was packed with bags and supplies.
“This one’s Alfred,” Noah said, pointing at the supply camel. “I’ll be riding Sheila. Paul, you’ll be with Asha. Allison gets Omar.”
Allison approached Omar slowly and touched the side of its neck. “Good boy,” she said. “Unless you’re a girl.”
Noah demonstrated how to mount the camels. “Go right between the hump here. When she stands, lean back then forward so ya aren’t thrown off. You first, Allie.”
“Uh, okay,” she said. There were a few guides nearby dressed in Berber clothes who moved closer as she grabbed the side of the camel. It didn’t seem to pay any attention, so she swung her legs between the humps and pulled herself up. The guides encouraged the camel to stand, but she wasn’t prepared for the sudden movement. Her body flung forward as the camel straightened its back legs. Her arm smacked against part of the saddle.
“You okay?” Noah said.
“Yeah, bruised.” She looked at her arm and a small bump was forming. When she looked over, Paul was already seated and ready to go. She rolled her eyes at him. He shrugged. A guide handed her the backpack of supplies, and she secured it to a hook behind her.
“Ya both ready?” Noah said. “Hold on and ya camels will follow. They know the way.”
Allison gripped the handlebar in front, realizing how far from the ground she was. She tried to adjust herself, but there was no getting comfortable. Riding the camel was awkward and made her legs itch. As Noah’s camel moved forward, followed by the supply camel, Allison’s finally started to walk. The odd movement caused her to gasp and hold on tighter. Paul laughed behind her, his mood lightening.
“This is very awkward,” she called out.
“It is,” Noah said over his shoulder. “Try to keep ya legs up and crossed like this and you’ll feel better. Ya won’t fall, trust me.”
The sun was setting, so at least there wasn’t a lot of heat. Allison relaxed as best she could and glanced behind her at the small village fading in the distance. Trekking across the Sahara was like being on the ocean in a small boat - nothing but horizons all around. If not for the sun, there’d be no way to tell which direction to travel. Red dunes rose and fell as they traveled forward. The camel’s massive feet slapped against the sand in odd rhythms. She expected them to walk like horses, but their gait was uneven and unsteady. Noah hummed a song as Allison watched the sky become flush with orange and pink as the sun disappeared.
They rode for a while in silence. Allison let her mind go blank. She tried to ignore her anxiety about being in the middle of nowhere (or at least farther from the village). As the sky succumbed fully to night, they approached a small group of tents on a flat, rocky piece of land.
“Here’s the first stop,” Noah said. He slowed his camel and somehow got the creature to lie down so he could climb off. He tied his camel and the supply camel to a post and then helped Paul and Allison make it back to solid ground. Getting off was a whole lot easier than climbing on.
“Grab a tent and I’ll cook din din,” Noah said.
The “luxury” of the tents surprised her. There were beds and bathrooms and plenty of LED lanterns for lighting. The floors we covered with multiple rugs. It was romantic in a way. She washed and changed into a more comfortable summer dress, hoping to pique Noah’s interest. When she walked out of her tent to join Noah and Paul for dinner, she instantly regretted her apparel decision. It was cold and getting colder. She grabbed a blanket and decided to tolerate the chilly air in sacrifice for showing off her shapely legs.
When Paul saw her, he gave her a smirk and shook his head.
“The tagine is almost ready,” Noah said. “Ya might want some jeans, though.”
She sat across from Paul. “I know it’ll get cold,” Allison said. “I’m tired of jeans for the day. They kept riding up my legs while I was on the camel.”
“They do that. Ya gotta pull your sockos up higher. I’ll lend ya some of mine if ya need ‘em.”
“That’d be great.” She leaned closer to the pot over the fire. “So what have we got?”
“A traditional meal of meat and veggies,” Noah said. “Here. Hold out ya plate. Looks to be ready.”
He served them a big portion of food and they all sat back to enjoy. Allison’s tailbone and thighs ached from the awkward camel ride and sitting cross-legged on the hard ground didn’t help. She glanced around for a chair, even a pillow, but didn’t see one, except for the one under Paul. He noticed the frown on her face and moved over, offering the pillow.
“Here,” he said. “I don’t mind sitting on the ground.”
Allison smiled, happy to see him less moody than he had been in the van. “Thank you.” She sat, resting her weary behind.
“If ya like, we can have a drum circle after eats,” Noah said. “It’s a thing we do on desert tours. Mostly when ya have Berbers, but I know a song.”
“I’ll turn in early,” Paul said, taking a sip of mint tea. “But I have earplugs, so you two go nuts on the drums if you like.”
“Oh, no,” Allison said. “I’m not a drummer. I enjoy gazing at the stars. Do you know any constellations, Noah?”
He looked up. “A few. The main ones like the big dippa. I imagine what it was like for people thousands of years ago crossing the desert with just the stars. Some nomads still do it today, no compass. They learn to read the environment and find their way.”
“I can’t imagine,” Allison said, suppressing a body shiver as the temperature continued to drop. She pulled the blanket over her legs. “I only see sand in every direction. I can’t imagine how someone might navigate. I wouldn’t want to get lost out here.”
“It’s not so bad. I got lost once. It was a tense two days, but I spotted a landmark and made my way back. That was a long time ago, ten years, when I first visited Morocco.”
“Did you go out alone?” Allison said.
“Naw, I tried that race that’s every year. Marathon de Sables. It’s a trail they mark with checkpoints, but I got turned around. Found my way back, no harm done. What I’ll tell ya is not to panic. When ya panic, ya don’t think. Everything’ll be fine if ya stay calm.”
“That’s very brave of you, taking part in that race.”
Noah grinned, proud of himself. “Nah, it’s nothing.”
Paul stood. “Well, thank you for cooking. I’m heading to bed now.”
“Okay, mate,” Noah said. “I’ll wake ya when it’s time to pack.”
Paul glanced at Allison with a disapproving look and then disappeared behind the flap of his tent. What’s his problem?
She turned her attention back to Noah. “This was a great meal. Thank you. How about showing me some of those constellations?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
Noah grabbed a blanket, and they walked a short distance out of the tent area. They both laid on the blanket and gazed up at the millions of stars overhead.
“Big dippa, little dippa,” Noah said, pointing. “That’s Orion’s belt.”
“And can you use any of these to guide you?” Allison inched c
loser to him until their shoulders touched.
“Ya can, but it’s a bit complicated. I haven’t learned me-self. The constellations change locations depending the time of year, don’t they?”
“I don’t know anything about stars.” She let out what she hoped was a sexy laugh.
Noah fell silent and watched a shooting star streak across the sky. He sat up and gazed at the large dune in front of them. In the darkness, it looked like a huge black shadow. “So how’s Summer?” he said, voice softer. “She and I had fun times before. The stars make me think of her.”
“She’s doing well.” Allison sat up and touched the inside of his elbow. “But let’s not talk about her right now.” She moved her leg so part of her upper thigh showed. She was freezing and hoped he couldn’t see the goosebumps speckling her skin. She rested her head on his shoulder.
“I miss that sheila,” Noah said, not noticing how close Allison was. “I was thinkin’ of joining ya in Egypt. I know a ton about that area and can show ya all the best places. Even pyramids off the beaten path.”
Allison wanted to shake him and tell him to forget about Summer. She knew her friend. Once she was done with a guy, she was done. She hated anything resembling long-term commitment.
Allison sighed. “Hey, let’s go back to the tents. I’m cold and I could use some warming up.”
Noah nodded absentmindedly. “Sure,” he said while gathering the blanket.
When they reached the tents, Allison grabbed his arm. “How about joining me in my tent?” she said. She touched his chest with her fingers. “I’d like to get closer. You can warm me up.”
He regarded her the way someone might a child with a boo-boo. “Oh, thanks, beauty. I’m gonna head to my tent. You’re Summer’s friend and I respect ya both too much to cross boundaries.”
“But-” She almost said that Summer wanted him to cross those boundaries but knew it wouldn’t change anything. He was obviously holding on to lingering feelings and would never hook up with Summer’s best friend.
Allison watched him disappear behind a tent flap as a massive shiver ran through her body. She shivered her way into her tent and put on a comfy sweater and sweatpants. She wanted to cry from frustration, but exhaustion set in. It had been a long day. All she wanted to do was survive her time in the desert, return to civilization, and then meet Summer in Cairo to have some real fun. Girls only. No more men or sex or any of that. She only needed a girl’s trip and some alcohol.
She curled up in bed and put her hand against her chest. Noah’s rejection stung. But it wasn’t him that hurt so much. Something about their interaction made her flashback to the day Isaac packed up his things and disappeared.
They had just eaten dinner, and she went to the bedroom to change into lingerie. Isaac had returned from a week-long business trip and she was eager to reconnect. He was more distant than usual. She thought a little intimacy would bring him right back into the moment. And she had been lonely, though she never told him. He usually rolled his eyes when she brought it up. What was so wrong with missing someone? It wasn’t a crime to need attention.
She changed into a sexy, black corset with crotchless panties and sauntered into the living room. He was sitting on the couch flipping through TV channels, oblivious to the situation.
She walked up behind him and unbuttoned his shirt, rubbing his bare chest. “Are you jet lagged, babe?”
“Not really,” he said and let out a long sigh.
She stroked his hair and then walked around the front of the couch, into view. “Well, why not join me in the bedroom? I’ll do all the work.” She smiled and leaned over to rub the top of his thighs.
He looked at her with pity. “I didn’t want to do this tonight, but I guess it’s for the best.”
“What do you mean? Do what?”
He sat her down and told her everything - his thoughts about their relationship, the new job offer, apartment hunting, and that he’d leave for Italy in three weeks, sans Allison. They sat on the couch for an hour having a heated discussion which escalated into yelling. Isaac said several hurtful things that’d take up residence in Allison’s psyche.
“This is why I’m leaving,” he yelled. “You’re not fun. You’re not adventurous. I can’t go anywhere without you calling all the time and telling me about your boring-ass days or texting me random facts I don’t give a fuck about. You smother me and have no respect for my job and that I need space. When I’m on a work trip, I’m at work. I can’t be thinking of you. I need my own life and it’s perfectly normal to do our own things separate from each other. I’m tired of talking about your anxiety and your stupid trivia games. You’re so fucking needy.”
“I want to have a home with you,” Allison yelled back. “You don’t even want to buy a house and settle down somewhere. Especially with me. And I don’t smother you. You’re content to not contact me at all for several days. That’s not okay or healthy for us. Sometimes I don’t feel like we’re in a relationship anymore.”
“We’re not. That’s why I’m breaking this off and moving to Italy.”
Despite Allison’s shock and follow-up questions, he refused to talk further. He silently packed his things while Allison cried and tried to get him to respond or even acknowledge that she was in the room. Then he left. She never heard from him again.
His Facebook page showed him having fun with lots of different Italian women. Every time she checked (which was several times a day) he seemed to post a new, exciting photo of himself drinking coffee or looking cool or hanging out at trendy clubs with new friends. He’d never been that kind of person before meeting Allison. He was in previous long-term relationships so there were no red flags. And he happily proposed to her after their one-year anniversary. Allison feared that somehow her insecurities turned him into a womanizer.
Summer flew into town two days after Isaac left and stayed with Allison the rest of the week.
“People can be so disgusting,” she said. “I don’t want to play the blame game and say ‘men are disgusting’ because lots of women do shitty things, too. So I’ll say that people are shit sometimes. Isaac is shit. I never would’ve introduced you two if I’d known. He was such a gentle soul before. I blame his job. He got a taste for travel and probably fucked hoes left and right.”
Allison choked back tears as they sat on the couch in her living room.
“Oh, no,” Summer said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m sure he was super faithful and that’s why he broke it off before he did something really stupid. He seemed like a guy who would respect boundaries, so I’m sure he did.”
Allison covered her face with her hands.
“Fuck. That’s not what I’m trying to say. Look.” She grabbed Allison’s shoulders and forced her to make eye contact. “You’re so beautiful and sexy and loyal. You’ve had some bad luck with men, but that’s not your fault. I’m your best friend for a reason. I’m not best friends with anyone else. Dudes are fucked up sometimes and their dicks get in the way of them thinking. The guy for you will be someone level-headed, who cares about others, and makes you feel safe and secure. Who you can laugh with and who wants to build a solid home base with you. It will flow. You’ll be teammates and find comfort being yourself around him. He’ll probably be a nerd and wear glasses or something. Dudes with glasses who play video games can be hot. Trust me. And they can have big dicks sometimes. Dudes you don’t suspect can have big dicks.”
Allison smiled through the tears. “I don’t know if you give great pep talks or really bad ones.”
“See? You like nerds who live at home with their moms and play Xbox and have big dicks.”
Allison nudged her friend. “Stop. No, I don’t. Nerds, I mean. Big dicks are good.” She took a breath. “I miss Isaac. And I still wish he’d come back. Will he?”
Summer hugged her and they spent the rest of the night watching horror movies and eating popcorn to forget all about shitty people.
Chapter Seven
&nb
sp; DESPITE NOAH’S REJECTION the night before, Allison was determined to survive her trek through the desert. Surprisingly, she didn’t feel anymore anxiety. Maybe her bitterness about relationships had silenced her fears and she was prepared to enjoy herself out of spite. I don’t need sex and I don’t need companionship. Nomads do it. I can, too.
She popped out of her tent the next morning packed and ready to go, even before Noah came to wake her.
“Nice,” he said upon seeing her. “We’ll get an early start once I wake Paul.”
Allison pulled out a pair of sunglasses and put them on even though the sky was barely full of light. “I’m ready anytime,” she said. “Are we going to surf down dunes today?”
Noah laughed and handed her a granola bar and an apple. “We are, actually. It’s fun once ya get it down.”
“Wonderful.” Allison dropped onto a pillow and took a bite of her apple.
Paul crept out of the tent looking haggard and squinted against the pale sky. He dragged his backpack out and let it drop to the ground, arm barely lifting it. He sat down carefully across from her.
“It doesn’t look like you slept well,” she said.
“I didn’t.” He chugged water from a bottle. “I couldn’t get comfortable on the mattress and there was a bug in my tent making the loudest noise all night.”
“I thought you had ear plugs.”
“They didn’t work.” He looked her up and down. “You’re chipper this morning.”
Allison shrugged. She took off her sunglasses and put them on Paul, who had contacts in. “I think you need these more than me.”
“Thanks,” he said. He looked like he wanted to say something more, but didn’t.
Allison scanned the vast desert. She was relaxed just sitting there with Paul enjoying the morning. What a dumb idea to lust after Noah so much. Her obsession had distracted her from the trip. She nudged Paul with her shoulder and gave him a grin. “This is nice,” she said.
He smiled back. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
They sat in silence, soaking up the sun, until Noah joined them. They all dined on granola and fruit.