by Raina Ash
“Okay,” Paul said while wringing out a shirt.
She watched him as he continued his domestic chores. They were both still okay, alive, and somewhere safe and comfortable. Her plan had worked. She felt so proud of herself. She took a risk, gave up control, and went with the flow. The universe delivered, as Summer would say.
But beneath the relief that swept through her body was a small twinge of sadness and longing. She was enjoying Paul's company. He was easy to talk to and enjoyed discussing topics she knew about. He kept her emotions in check, made her comfortable, and stayed rational in tough situations. It was odd watching him doing a chore in the kitchen because it had been so long since she lived with someone. She had forgotten the comfort of having another person around to laugh with and eat meals with and be at home with. Their time together would soon end. Her heart ached for a few more moments with him.
She had also snuck a few glances at his body while he changed shirts in the tent, and there was a lot to like about his physique. He had more of a “computer guy” feel mixed with a body that clearly went to the gym.
“Paul?” she said.
“Yeah?” he said over his shoulder.
She wanted to ask if he was enjoying her company, too. But the thought of getting rejected by him stung worse than Noah's rebuke. She couldn't risk saying anything that would ruin their remaining time together. “Nothing,” she said. She decided to be content with what she had in that moment: companionship.
She watched him scrub jeans and hang wet clothes outside. She fully intended to let her back rest for only a moment so she could get up and prepare dinner and wash her own clothes. She shut her eyes for a single second. One second. In that second, the exhaustion in her body, physical and mental, took over, and she fell into a deep sleep.
✽✽✽
Morning sun shone through the three tiny yurt windows. Allison rolled onto her side, expecting to grab a pillow, but her hand grazed chest hair. She opened her eyes to see Paul’s shoulder inches from her face. She pulled back, careful not to wake him. It was clearly the next day. A blanket covered her, and she had been sleeping on most of the bed. Paul hugged the edge, inches from falling to the floor, and she felt a little embarrassed about crowding him.
She suppressed a laugh when she noticed he was wearing a dainty-looking eye mask to block the sun and earplugs to drown out any waterfall sounds. The blanket was pulled halfway up his torso, exposing a bare chest with curly chest hair. She contemplated peeking under the blanket, but knew he wouldn’t have crawled into bed naked.
She stood up, making sure not to disturb him, and stretched her arms. The yurt was warm throughout the night and her back and neck felt so much better after sleeping on an actual mattress. She needed water, though, and her stomach ached from being so empty for so long. After locating several water bottles in the fridge, she greedily chugged one down.
Oh right, I need to wash clothes. She grabbed her backpack, but only found underwear and two bras. The washing bucket was empty in the sink, so she peeked out the door and saw the rest of her clothes hanging on a laundry line next to the yurt. I can’t believe he stayed up to wash everything. That’s so thoughtful.
In return, she’d make him the best breakfast she could, given their supplies. She filled the washing bucket outside using the shower and left her undergarments to soak before changing into clean clothes. Going braless was awkward, but she had no choice. She searched through all the pantry cabinets and the fridge. There wasn’t much in the fridge besides water and a half-empty bottle of beer someone left, but the freezer had a package of frozen waffles, some frozen veggies, and a frozen steak. She wanted to jump for joy at the thought of preparing a juicy steak.
The pantry had a 10-pound bag of rice, a shelf filled with cans of soup, protein bars, more dried food, and some honey. After considering all her options, she decided on a small breakfast of waffles with honey, powdered eggs (whatever those were), and dried apricots. She also pulled out the steak to thaw for dinner. She pulled out a pan and set it on the small electric burner, proud of her resourcefulness.
While making breakfast, she hummed a simple melody. She hadn’t felt so happy, so at ease, in such a long time. Feeling real happiness for the first time in years made her realize how much she lacked. Yes, she had a career and financial stability, but nothing more. What was she working towards? A lonely retirement? In Cali, her days revolved around work, watching TV, and not much else. She socialized once a week during trivia and spent the rest of her nights alone. She couldn’t even remember feeling that happy with Isaac. Sure, there were a few months of giddiness when they fell in love and all those love chemicals filled her brain. But after that he was someone familiar, a roommate.
They went on dates, became official, celebrated an anniversary, lived together. He wasn’t interested in actually planning the wedding or setting a date after he proposed. And he never invited her on his business trips even though he talked about coworkers who brought their spouses. She went through the motions with him until one day it was over.
Allison flipped a waffle in the pan and stared into space. She mixed some water into the powdered eggs. Was she ever this happy? Maybe it was the threat of dying and the relief of being somewhere safe that caused such a peace. Maybe it was having company, even if only temporary. A wave of contentment washed over her. She was thankful for being safe and alive, thankful for Paul’s company, and thankful for being able to make a nice meal for someone other than herself.
“Morning.”
She turned around to see Paul sitting on the edge of the bed wearing sweatpants and yawning.
“Good morning,” she said. “You were passed out, so I didn’t want to wake you. Breakfast will be ready soon.”
“Breakfast?” He sniffed the air. “Well, thank you. That was the first restful night’s sleep I’ve gotten since Marrakech. It’s much better to wake up rested instead of sore and irritated.”
“Agreed.”
Allison finished preparing their meal while Paul collected his clothing from outside. He dressed and then sat down at the small table. She presented him with her best attempt at a normal American breakfast. He scooped some eggs, lifting the spoon and watching runny mush fall to the plate.
“I’m not sure what this is,” he said.
“It’s supposed to be scrambled eggs. But there’s no milk or butter, so it’s egg soup, I guess.”
“Either way, I’m starving. Thank you for making this.”
She sat down across from him and put a piece of waffle into her mouth. She let out a happy moan as her taste buds thanked her for eating something flavorful. “Thank you for doing all my clothes. That was really nice of you.”
“Sure.” His gaze fell down to her chest, and he quickly looked away and out the window. “This oasis is beautiful. Quite a change from miles and miles of sand.”
She glanced down and noticed her nipples were fully erect and pushing out against her shirt. Normally, “perkiness“ embarrassed her, but she shrugged mentally and went with it. She was in too good of a mood to get body-conscious. She thought of a pool party she and Summer went to after high school graduation. Summer walked out of the bathroom with major side boob and shorts halfway up her butt crack. That was before all the yoga when she was still overweight, rolls spilling over her jeans. Allison asked if she wanted to change. Summer shrugged and exclaimed, “You’re the one that encouraged me to break out of my shell and find my confidence. So I did. Tits out, butt out. Guys want me. Chicks think I’m gross. Who cares? I’ll ignore them all and enjoy myself.”
In contrast, Allison (though fit) had worn a big, long shirt over her swimsuit because she felt bloated.
“What are you grinning at?” Paul said, puzzled.
“Nothing. Just these waffles are so good. Fruit is so good. Life is so good. And I agree. This place is beautiful.” She finished what was on her plate and then stood, moving behind Paul. “Hey, I still owe you a massage.”
He starte
d to protest but stopped when she began working out a particularly stubborn knot. In hindsight, it wasn’t the best idea for her to initiate a massage - giddiness made her a little too eager to touch Paul. She resisted the urge to run her hands down the front of his chest. Unlike when he massaged her and she couldn’t help but moan her gratitude, Paul remained silent and collected, finishing his breakfast.
“What do you think about staying an extra day?” she said.
“I’m not sure. We should take an inventory of all our food and what we can carry to see if that’s even feasible.”
“Well, it’s about a day and a half from here back to the village, judging by what Noah said. Two days tops. There’re tons of rice and cans and dried food packs. We’ll have steak for dinner tonight, with leftovers for tomorrow.” She did a mental inventory as she ran her thumbs up and down the back of his neck. “We have plenty of food to stay a couple days with more than enough to take with us. Plus, we have all the water we can drink so we can rest up and hydrate before leaving. Who knows, something crazy might happen, like Noah finding us here. Then we’ll for sure have a safe journey home.”
Paul was unconvinced. “What day do you think it is? I’m sure I already missed my flight.”
“I’m not sure, might be three days. Or four I think. My friend might already know I’m missing if our meeting time has passed. So that’s another person looking for us.”
“I still don’t know,” he said. “Give me time to consider our options. We’ll at least stay for today.”
“Well, a single day it is.” She gave him one last shoulder rub and then pulled her hands away. “Let’s go exploring. Oh, or swimming. I bet that pond out there is refreshing.”
“I bet it’s freezing,” Paul said, handing her his plate. “And thanks. My muscles are more relaxed.”
As she washed the dishes, she sensed Paul watching her. When she turned to look, he was reclining in his chair, arms crossed, and looking directly at her. It took him a few moments to snap out of his thoughts and avert his gaze. He walked to the pantry and started making an inventory of their food.
Allison bounded outside to wash her bras and panties and hang them up to dry. The rest of the morning, she wandered around the oasis. Paul declined her invitation to go for a walk, so she followed a small dirt path to the other side of the palm trees. She turned on her phone and started a stopwatch. She walked the entire perimeter of the oasis in about an hour and figured it was a few acres big. It was up against a large hill (or small mountain) where the water fell from. She couldn’t see a river anywhere, deciding it must be underground. At one edge of the oasis, she saw mountains in the distance. When they headed back to the village, they would need to travel away from them.
She returned from her walk to see Paul sitting on a chair outside the yurt, staring at the waterfall with his arms crossed. He had grown tense over the last day even though finding safety should’ve eased his worries.
“Have a nice walk?” he said when he saw her approaching.
“Absolutely, it’s so beautiful here. This oasis isn’t big, but it’s a good size. I don’t know if anyone else but Noah knows about this. Maybe he owns it?” Her marketing brain took over as she considered the location. “What he set up here is amazing. If he opened this to the public and made it a honeymoon get-a-way or a couples retreat, he’d make so much money. The branding would be easy since it’s such a unique destination and so secluded. He’s already got the luxury aspect going on. Run some paid ads on wedding sites, and this place would be booked year round.”
Paul sighed. “Are we still talking about Noah?”
“No, I was just suggesting-”
“I’m exhausted from hearing about Noah. You said you didn’t have a thing for him. Clearly you do and it’s been getting on my nerves.” He stared at the waterfall.
Allison wasn’t sure how to respond. She didn’t talk about Noah that much, right? Paul probably thought she and Noah had hooked up that one night in the tent, but would he care about that? She couldn't tell if he liked her or was tolerating her company for the sake of being polite.
He stood. “Nevermind,” he said. “Forget it. I checked the food and we have enough if you want to stay an extra day.”
“What? That’s great.” She stepped forward to give him a hug, but stopped short of throwing her arms around him in excitement. Something about his body language told her to stay away.
He stared at her intensely for a moment and then walked toward the door. “I’m tired,” he said. “I’m going to nap.”
“Okay.” She watched him enter the yurt, feeling more confused than ever.
Chapter Eleven
PAUL SLEPT THE REST of the morning and Allison enjoyed another walk. After exploring the scenery for a couple hours, she got restless and plugged her phone in to charge. There still wasn’t a signal and several texts to Summer sat in her outbox. She took a few photos of the yurt, scrolled through her gallery, and then played puzzle game out of boredom. She gave up on a challenging level and visited Alfred to make sure he was okay.
Alfred, unfortunately, wasn’t much for conversation. This is ridiculous. Why am I so unfocused? Alfred grunted, as if responding to her inner dialogue.
“Why did Paul get so pissy, anyway?” she said. “He seemed to loosen up. In fact, he’s always been pretty frank around me. Then suddenly he’s angry because I went for a walk? I don’t get it.”
Alfred didn’t respond.
“This is stupid. Maybe he’s grumpy from needing more sleep. Or he’s getting sick. I need to stop thinking about it and enjoy this place.” She gave Alfred one last pat on the neck and then walked back, intending to go for a swim. It looked to be mid-afternoon, so she changed her mind and decided to make dinner early.
While she was cutting the steak into small cubes, Paul woke and walked into the kitchen looking groggy.
“Are you feeling okay?” Allison said. “Do you have a fever?”
“No, I don’t think I’m sick,” Paul said. “Just needed more rest.” He opened a water bottle and chugged it. He sat down at the table and closed his eyes.
“You sure? Let me see.” She rinsed her hands in the sink and then put the back of her hand on Paul’s forehead. She shrugged. “No fever at least.”
Paul remained silent, observing her with a conflicted expression.
Allison returned to chopping steak. “Well, I’m getting dinner ready so that’s something to look forward to.”
“I apologize for acting moody earlier.”
“Don’t worry about it. I figured you needed more rest.”
He crumpled up the water bottle and threw it in the trash. “Yeah, something like that.”
Allison put the steak cubes in a pan and placed it on the burner. After washing her hands again, she sat across from Paul at the table. “Has anything been on your mind?” she said. “I’ve kind of been going crazy with boredom while you were sleeping. If I did anything to piss you off, let’s talk about it so we can enjoy the rest of our time here. I’ve-” She considered how to phrase her words to sound friendly and not like she wanted to hook up. Not that she didn’t. She just didn’t want him to know that. And she especially didn’t want to sound needy. “I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you. You’re fun to talk to. Thank you for not leaving.” She smiled. That’s right, she thought. No pressure. Only gratitude. Don’t control things. No pushing yourself on him like you do other men.
He looked at her and sighed. “You haven’t done anything wrong.” He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms, something he did more and more. “I’m not sure how to say this. I was put off. You’ve talked about Noah a lot and it’s clear you’ve got a thing for him. I was tired of hearing his name brought up.”
Her eyes widened. “A thing for him?” She laughed. “No, no. Like I told you, I don’t have a thing for him. I guess I have brought him up a lot. That was only because, hmmm-” She put her hands on the table. Why did she keep mentioning him? Then it dawned on he
r. “This might sound silly. It’s not that I have a thing for him. Yeah, at first I was hoping to hook up. Which, thinking about it now, isn’t like me. I kept trying to force something to happen and, even as I did, it didn’t feel right. I’m not a 'hookup’ kind of person, even though I keep trying to be. And nothing happened with Noah. I got rejected, per usual. So while we were so lost I guess I kept thinking about him and bringing him up because it made me less scared. If I could think of someone out there, anyone and not specifically him, then it was like I’d be rescued and not die. That we wouldn’t die. I’m still worried about getting back. I’m looking forward to when we see the village and even Noah. Not because I have a thing for him. But because it will mean I’m safe again.”
Paul lowered his gaze to the table. “It was silly of me to get so frustrated over that. I completely understand now. I’ve had my moments of fear and worry as well.” He uncrossed his arms and put his elbows on the table. “I thought you two got together that night at the campsite and you were obsessing over it.”
“No, definitely not. He’s an attractive guy, but I don’t think our personalities mesh. And he rejected me. He said he didn’t want to cross boundaries since he dated my friend before. I think he still has feelings for her. Most men do after taking a Summer vacation.”
He gave her a puzzled look.
“My friend’s name is Summer.”
He laughed. “I see. Noah’s a bit douchey, so he’s not my cup of tea. And what idiot would reject such a beautiful woman like you?”
Allison’s breath caught in her throat and she blushed. “Uh, thank you,” she stammered.
Paul averted his gaze, realizing what he let slip. “The, uh, steak probably needs checking.” He stood and walked to the burner.
The air between them was awkward again, something that happened more and more. She wasn’t sure how to transition back to talking and having fun. And the wall Paul had up wasn’t making her anymore at ease.