by Raina Ash
She didn’t tell Paul her thoughts. He seemed beyond reason at that moment. She couldn’t deny that his words had some truth. Her career was in California, so distance would put a strain on them. After her ordeal in the desert, she wasn’t sure how much she wanted to travel. Maybe deep down she only wanted to stay in one place and pass the days. So much for being adventurous.
She had so many questions to ask Paul, like how often he traveled and how long he was away from home. She even had the urge to convince him to have fun with her again before the trip was over. If they liked each other, why not explore that for a few days? But she always tried to force relationships, and they always fell apart. If there was anything positive about her experience, it was that she was learning not to beat a dead horse and instead go with the flow. She was proud of herself for that.
They continued their camel ride in silence, something Allison was getting more and more comfortable with, until the camel brought them to their first camp. Everything was set up just as they left it and they only needed to sweep sand out of their individual tents before bed.
Paul started a fire and made food. Allison thanked him for the meal, ate quickly, and then retreated to her tent for the rest of the night. If he wouldn’t try, there was no point in her trying either. They were once again strangers counting down the minutes until they parted ways, never to see each other again.
She couldn’t stop thinking about his firm body pressed against hers, though, and the passionate kisses they shared. It played over and over in her mind.
✽✽✽
The next morning, Allison flung open the tent flap, determined. For her last day in the Sahara, she would do yoga. Just thinking of it made her feel like she really was growing as a person. She had traveled across the world, alone, gotten stranded in the desert with a stranger, found her way back to civilization, and was letting go of a prospective relationship instead of trying to force things to go her way. She also felt slimmer, having eaten the bare minimum the past several days.
Regardless of the rationed food and water consumption, she was strong and energized. While Paul sat around the firepit staring off into space, she climbed a small dune and spread out a blanket as the sun rose in the distance. She spent a few minutes sitting cross-legged on the blanket, focusing on her breath and clearing her mind. She thought of Summer’s hushed voice saying, “All you have is this moment. Your decisions today will shape your future tomorrow.” As cheesy as it sounded, it brought her comfort.
She took in the beautiful red and orange sand around her, the clear sky, and the warm yellow sun. She felt like the only person in the world, and that was okay. She had almost survived her ordeal. She was resourceful and smart. Everything in her life would be just fine.
She raised her body up into a triangle shape to take her first pose: downward facing dog. Then she continued through a flow of all the poses she could remember. The stretching and bending made her realize how stiff her leg and back muscles had become and she relaxed more and more as the flow continued. After going through all the poses, she returned to a cross-legged posture and enjoyed the calm, peaceful sensation washing over her.
After many deep breaths, she picked up the blanket and made her way down the dune. The sand was warm from the sun and it was time for them to leave.
Paul watched as she walked back to camp. She reached the firepit and started rolling up the blanket. “You looked very exotic up there,” he said.
“Thank you,” she replied. “I’m refreshed. And I’ll never get another chance to do yoga on a dune like that.”
“I took a picture of you. You said you were trying to capture memories. I can send it to you once we get back.”
“Really? Can I see?”
He pulled out his phone and showed her the screen.
“That looks great. Wow, I can’t believe that’s me. Looks like a different person. Hey, just a sec.” She grabbed her phone out of the tent and returned. “Let’s do this before I forget.” She extended her arm for a selfie with Paul. He hesitated and then leaned forward and gave a small smile. “Perfect,” she said. “Now take one with your phone.”
As he held up his phone to snap a picture, she kissed him on the cheek. She made him take a second one where she squeezed him and pressed their cheeks together. “Show that to your coworkers,” she said. “They won’t believe you hooked up with such a cute brunette in the middle of the Sahara.”
He nodded weakly. “Right.”
A twinge of sadness squeezed her heart. Their time together was ending, and she knew she’d miss him.
“Let’s get packed,” she said.
They loaded the camel and left for the final stretch of their journey.
Chapter Thirteen
THE WIND PICKED UP. Alfred had been guiding them for a few hours through calm weather. But now dust began to stir. Allison’s heart raced, and she did her best not to overreact. It was only a little wind. Perfectly normal. But a short while later, they saw what looked like a red haze in the distance. They both knew what it was.
“What should we do?” Allison said over the wind.
“We could try pitching a tent and wait out the storm like last time,” Paul said.
“But two camels ran away last time. We can’t lose this one or we’re doomed.”
“I’ll hold on to the rope,” he said. “Or we could get it to lie down and hide next to it. That way we’ll know if it tries to run off.”
“If it tries to run, neither of us would be strong enough to stop it.” The storm was getting closer at a rapid pace. She held Paul’s waist. “I say we ride through it. Stay on the camel and hopefully when it’s over, Alfred will still know how to get us home.”
Paul pulled two head coverings out of a side bag and handed her one. “Wrap this around your head and face.”
Allison nodded and began wrapping the cloth around her neck, letting go of the saddle for a moment. As she was tucking the cloth into her shirt collar, the camel made a startled sound and started sprinting. The sudden movement caused her to lose balance, and she toppled off the back of the camel. Sand whipped around the air and she squinted as best she could to see her surroundings. She couldn’t see the camel anywhere. She thought she heard Paul shouting, but it soon faded into the distance.
She stood up and shouted back. “Paul. Paul? Where are you?” But she could barely hear herself over the wind.
She still had her backpack on with her clothes and some supplies. She pulled out a shirt to cover her head. She sat down to wait out the storm like they had before. She could figure everything out after the storm passed. Her body was shaking, and she tried to keep herself calm. Deep breaths, she thought. Right now, you’re safe. Just wait out the storm. You’ll be home soon. Almost there.
She quickly realized that she couldn’t sit down and wait. Every moment she remained still, sand tried to cover her. A terrifying vision of her being buried alive crossed her mind, and she jumped to her feet. She would have to keep walking.
When she fell off the camel, she remained facing the same direction, so she started walking forward, lifting a foot out of the sand and plunging it back down. Tiny granules hit and stung her skin. She trudged along, doing her best to stay in what seemed like a straight direction, fighting the wind and sand. Time passed, but she didn’t know how much, and her legs grew tired and weak. She grew so exhausted she could no longer think. She could only keep trudging along.
Finally, the storm passed. She opened her eyes all the way and uncovered her head. The desert was the same as before, the same as always. No camel or Paul in sight. Just sand and sky. No traces of a violent storm remained, and the land was again serene.
She fell forward, knees sinking into the dirt. What am I going to do now?
Her body was exhausted. She laid down and used her backpack as a pillow. The sun was at its peak in the sky, so she covered her face to prevent sunburn. She could barely move. It strained her to think or plan or even acknowledge the situation. Tears flo
wed from her eyes. All she could do was cry. And then she fell asleep.
✽✽✽
The oasis was beautiful, the most spectacular place Allison had ever visited. She went for another swim in the pond. She swam behind the waterfall to a small nook in the rock and looked up at the rushing water falling overhead. The earth was so beautiful. So much wonder existed on one tiny planet. She wanted to see everything. She didn’t want to sit in an office all day and stare at a screen. She wanted to explore. To live. But she also didn’t want to go on crazy adventures like Summer. She wanted to be a realistic traveler - hotels, tours, the comfort of running water. No more trekking through the desert.
She thought about quitting her office job to travel the world, and the thought didn’t scare her. It rejuvenated her. She felt alive.
Paul ducked behind the waterfall and took her in his arms. “There you are,” he said. “I figured you might be out here swimming again.”
She smiled and brought him closer for a kiss. “Well, you found me.”
He moved his hands down her back and squeezed her butt. “That isn’t the only thing I found.” His tongue ran down the side of her neck and she let out a soft moan.
“Don’t you have to get back to work, bae?” she said, rubbing the hair on his chest.
“Oh, I do, but can’t we enjoy the water first?”
Allison woke and sat up to cough. She felt sand in her throat and she hacked a few times and yanked the shirt off her face.
“When have I ever called anyone bae?” she mumbled to herself.
She looked at her surroundings. Sand. Sun. No way home. She wiped dried tears from her cheeks and looked at her hands. They had been exposed and her sunscreen wore off. Her skin was bubbly and red. How long had she slept?
It didn’t matter. She needed to walk. She had a few protein bars and a few bottles of water in her backpack, but that was it. She needed to find the village. Despite the fear gnawing away at her gut, she stood up and started pressing forward. With any luck, she was moving in the right direction. Her life depended on it.
The sun continued its descent down the sky until it fell behind the horizon and the moon came out. She kept walking. She ate sparingly and drank regularly to stay hydrated, moving herself forward across the sand.
“Paul could reach the village and then come back for me,” she told herself. “Or if he’s still out here, maybe we’ll find each other and return to the village together. I could find a nomad who will help, or some other stranger.” She realized panic was setting in.
She stopped, legs aching. She took a breath. The entire situation was out of her control. Panicking, crying, pleading with the heavens - she would either find the village or she wouldn’t. That was the reality. She looked up at the stars and took in the beauty of the milky way stretched overhead. Before her trip to Morocco, feeling out of control would’ve terrified her. Now, it made her calm, like someone had lifted a huge weight off her shoulders. Letting go of the need to demand a certain outcome was like giving herself permission to live and be happy. Confidence filled her entire being; she could handle whatever came her way, even heartbreak and endless stretches of desert.
An idea crossed her mind. She pulled her phone from her backpack and turned it on. The idea was crazy, but she couldn’t think of anything else. Though the village was remote, it still had modern technology. A few people there had computers, and they had weak cell phone reception. Her phone wouldn’t work, but it might show a nearby signal.
The phone booted up and the cell bars had a red X over them. She frowned and started walking again. This is crazy, but let’s see where this takes me. After walking in one direction for a while, she turned and headed a different way. She repeated the process, leaving small pieces of her torn shirt behind her, hoping it would stay and mark the paths she already followed.
Before she knew it, the moon was high in the sky. She looked around, hoping to see any lights, but there was nothing except darkness illuminated by millions of stars overhead. Her phone battery dropped to 20%. She was ready to give up and pick a spot to sleep for the night, when the red X vanished for a split second and then flashed back on screen. Her heart raced. She ran forward. The X disappeared and one tiny bar held steady on the screen - a sliver of hope.
She stopped running because her legs threatened to give out. She resigned herself to calm stroll. More minutes passed. The signal remained strong. She thought she saw a light in the distance. Then her legs really did give out and she fell to the sand.
What if I’m hallucinating and the signal is gone in the morning? But pushing forward was something her body wouldn’t do. She ate a bar, drank some water, and passed out for the night.
She woke to voices around her as someone shook her shoulders. Noah and Hasan hovering inches from her face.
“Noah?” she grumbled as the fog of sleep left her brain. Her head was dizzy and when she tried to sit up her heart raced. She fell back in the sand.
“Don’t move there,” Noah said. He picked her up and carried her to a large ATV a few feet away. He helped her into a seat and handed her a jug of water. “Drink slow. Ya might be dehydrated and sunstroked. There’s a doc back in the village. Hold on.”
Hasan jumped in the back and they sped off across the sand towards the village.
She tried to drink, but her arms were weak and heavy. She was also nauseous. She set the jug near her feet and rested her eyes. When she woke again, she was lying on a bed with an IV in her arm. Her sunburned hands were wrapped in light bandages. She looked around at an empty room. Her head was throbbing, her hands and arms stung, but she was alive.
She scanned the room for her backpack. It was resting on a chair in the corner. Her legs and entire body ached and pain shot up her nerves with every step, but her heart was no longer pounding and a little energy coursed through her veins. She dragged herself and the IV across the room.
The phone powered on and she dialed Summer’s number, relieved when it started to connect.
“Allison!” Summer screamed into the phone. “Oh my god, Allison. Is it you? Please tell me it’s you.”
“It’s me,” Allison said with a scratchy voice.
She heard Summer crying. “I was so worried. Noah called me yesterday and said you were lost and I nearly fainted. And you weren’t here in Cairo when I arrived and I couldn't get ahold of Noah until yesterday…” she trailed off into a sob. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve never made you go on a stupid trip...I don’t know what I’d if something happened to you. You’re never traveling alone again, okay? I’ll always come with you or you shouldn’t go at all. You’ve been right all along. No more traveling. You stay where you’ll be safe and I’ll come visit more and we’ll both travel less and enjoy life in the States.”
Allison gave a weak laugh. “Calm down. It’s okay. It was certainly an adventure and scary, but I’m okay. My phone doesn’t have much power. I just wanted to call and say I’m okay.”
“I’m so relieved.” Summer kept crying and Allison could hardly understand her. “I thought...my fault I did this...and Noah...I was so scared.”
“Summer, don’t cry. I’m okay. Hey, I want to tell you something.”
“You hate me?”
“What? No. Of course not. You’re my best friend and you had no idea this would happen.” A moment of dizziness washed over her and she stumbled to the bed to sit down. “Summer, I don’t know how to say this or if it sounds silly, but I’ve always been envious of you. You travel and always have so much fun. You spend time with guys not worrying about commitment. I’ve always wanted to be free like you. But this trek in the desert made me accept that we both have different lives, and that’s okay. I can’t live in regret about my youth. I have to move forward and find my own happiness.”
Summer sniffed and cleared her throat. “I get it. But don’t be envious of me. You have a solid career and a home base. My work is so uncertain. I have to make so many videos to keep my audience happy and I’ve been so burn
t out. Even after all these years of hard work, I don’t have a retirement plan or good health insurance. Sometimes I want what you have. Just something with less drama and somewhere solid to live.”
The phone made a loud beep and then powered off. Allison wished Summer was there with her so she could hug her friend and have a serious bonding moment. She couldn’t find a charger, so she set the phone on a side table. She closed her eyes to sleep when someone knocked on the door.
“Come in,” she said.
The door creaked open and Paul’s head appeared.
She started to get up.
“No, stay there,” he said, rushing to her bedside. She pulled him down into a tight hug, skin stinging from the movement and the IV. “I’m so glad you’re safe,” she said, face pressed against his neck.
He squeezed her back. “Me, too,” he said. “I mean, I’m glad you’re okay. Last night, when I knew you were out there alone - it was unbearable. I couldn’t think about anything else.”
She looked at him. “How did you get back?”
He kept his hands on her shoulders, body relaxed, expression full of concern. “The damn camel wouldn’t stop. I jabbed it in the side with my heels, but it kept running. All I could do was hold on and shield my face from the sand. When the storm stopped, I saw the village in the distance and the camel kept running until we reached the stables. I found Hasan. Noah had just gotten back, and he looked beaten up and sunburned. His GPS was damaged like I suspected. He was preparing to go back out to find us, but there was a threat of another storm and it was getting dark. A smaller storm hit the village, so we had to wait it out. They were finally able to leave around sunrise. You were already so weak and dehydrated when they found you. If it had been any longer…”
She hugged him again and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. I’m just happy you’re okay. I’m happy to be back to civilization.”
Paul rubbed her back. “You’re not making me uncomfortable.”