by Erin Osborne
“I promise that I’ll protect and love you forever,” Logan says, barely above a whisper as he leans down to kiss Bailey on her little head.
Alana looks at me and I know that she heard the words a nine-year-old little boy just made to our daughter. It’s a precious moment; one that won’t be tainted by anyone saying anything about it to him. I look at Logan and think that if my daughter ends up with a man half as good as he’s already showing he’ll be, I won’t have to worry about her being hurt and having her heart trampled on by an asshole. Too bad I couldn’t see the future and all the pain and heartache my daughter will suffer before finding her happily ever after.
Chapter Five
50 years old
THIS YEAR IS A BIG YEAR FOR THE WILD KINGS MC. Grim has been President of the club for a few years now. Well, if I’m honest, the next generation has been leading the club for the last few years. They began taking our seats once Ace was killed. It was a horrible tragedy to lose my best friend, but Alana and the kids helped me move on with my life. To say it was an adjustment was an understatement of the year.
Grim has been looking at different locations to move the club to. It was a club decision to get away from where we’ve been since the conception of the Wild Kings. There’s too many memories here that we need distance from. Not to mention that Grim has the club heading down a different path now. One that’s legit and open to helping our neighbors and community members more. I think that Ace would be very proud of the man that Grim has become and the direction that he’s taking the club in.
Over the last almost twenty years the men that started the club with Ace and I have died, gone to jail, had kids, and just moved on with their lives. I’m the only one that’s left from the original members. It’s hard to imagine what this club would’ve been without the men that were closer to me than any blood relative could’ve been. Some of the guys leading the next generation of the club are sons of the men that started it while others are friends that the boys made in school and various sports they played. These boys instantly became our family and decided to join the club with their best friends.
So, today we begin packing up the past and loading it in various vans, trucks, and other vehicles to move to a little town called Clifton Falls. It’s a small town and no one there will know the club or what we used to do to earn money. While I wouldn’t say that the Wild Kings were a one percent club, we didn’t exactly deal in legal activities on a regular basis either. Grim stopped all that and now we’re ready to move forward once again.
“Pops, where do you want all these photos to go?” Ma asks me, walking up to me with a box full of the photos from the very beginning of the club.
Taking the box from her, I give her a kiss like it’s the first time and walk to the SUV we’ll be driving in. I watch as Ma walks back in the clubhouse. I’ll never get enough of watching her walk away from me, even if I hate that we’re not in the same area. Maybe that’s my old age kicking in. Or maybe I just hate being away from my wife. Who knows?
The next few hours we spend clearing out the old warehouse. Joker, my son, and Bailey, bust ass and make sure that nothing is left behind. Those two are still my world, and I hope that this move allows them to find that special someone they’ve been looking for. Bailey, she’s been hung up on Grim for as long as I can remember. I think since the day she started realizing the differences between the two of them. He wants her to be his old lady, but something is holding him back. Grim might be the President of the Wild Kings and I have all the respect in the world for him. But, if he doesn’t get his ass out of his head where my baby is concerned soon, I’m going to help him see the error of his ways.
Joker, he’s got an uphill battle on his hands. Cage and he are looking for a woman that will be able to handle both of them. They’ve been a pair for as long as I can remember, so it wasn’t really a shock when they started exploring sharing women. They tried to hide it for a while. Ma’s the one that made them understand that there was nothing to be ashamed of. That what they were doing wasn’t wrong. Now, they’re not parading all over the place because most of the time Ma and I are around. Not to mention Bailey. But, we all know what they’re about and not a single person here has anything bad to say about it. It will just take some time to find the woman that will complete their trio. I’m pulling for them and I’ll do whatever I can to help them out along the way.
Ma, as always, is the driving force behind the Wild Kings becoming such a good club and the men having the respect that they do. She makes sure we have hot food on a daily basis, that every man and woman in the club knows that our door is always open no matter what time of the day or night it is, and that even the club girls’ matter. Don’t get that twisted and think that Ma won’t put a club girl in their place when it’s needed. But, she also lets them know that she’s there for them if they need help or someone to turn to. The club girls we have know that cheating isn’t tolerated and if a brother in the club, or visiting club, has an old lady, they’re off limits.
It’s been a few of the longest days we’ve had in a while. We spent three days on the road to get to Clifton Falls. Now, we’re busy unpacking the vehicles and trying to get things set up in the new clubhouse. I’m ready to take Ma to the house that I’ve been talking to a realtor about so she can make the final decision about buying it. But, we need to help the kids get everything set up here. So, we’ll spend the next few hours here and then tomorrow I’ll take Ma to see the new house that I hope she falls in love with.
“Pops, you ready to get this shit done?” Joker asks, walking up to me as I finish my cup of coffee that Ma made.
“Yeah. I want it done today,” I answer my son, letting him know that I’m over it as I drain my coffee cup and stand up.
“It will be. We’ve only got the bike trailer to unload with all the tools and then the one van. It shouldn’t take more than an hour or two with everyone helpin’. I know you’re waitin’ to get Ma out of here,” he says, a smirk covering his face.
“I am. Want to show her that house,” I answer, walking out the front door and to the van. The younger guys and prospects we brought with us can take care of the damn tools.
Ma
The move that we made to Clifton Falls was a good choice. We’ve been here for a little over a week and I can feel the change coming. Pops found a great house. It’s the perfect size for the two of us, but there’s still plenty of room for anyone that stops by unexpectedly. I fell in love with it as soon as we pulled in the driveway.
I’ve also noticed a change in Joker and Cage. A day ago, Bailey called her brother about helping someone out. I don’t know exactly what the story is, but I know they’ve been in a corner of the common room whispering and talking amongst themselves ever since they got back. My daughter has a mischievous glint in her eyes whenever she sees the two of them now too. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was playing matchmaker. I’m getting down to the bottom of this shit. Today.
Walking into the clubhouse, I don’t see anyone around. I know that Bailey is here and that her brother and Cage are gone. Their bikes aren’t out front so I don’t have to worry about Bailey being quiet about the situation. I make my way into the kitchen and find my girl sitting at a table with a book in front of her and she’s totally lost in whatever she’s reading. Well, too bad for her. Mama wants some damn answers.
“Daughter, what are you up to?” I ask, sitting down across from her and pulling her book away.
“What do you mean mom?” she asks, trying to play innocent right now.
“I’m your mother and I taught you all those looks you’re gonna try to use on me. It’s not happening. Now, what is going on with your brother and Cage? They’ve been acting weird ever since you all got back late yesterday,” I say, letting her know that I’m not going to accept anything but the truth.
“Well, I stopped at that little stand on the other side of the field yesterday. The owner is an amazing girl. She’s a single mom of twins, a li
ttle boy and girl. Anyway, her car wouldn’t start for her and the house sits back from the stand. So, I called the boys to come help get it started,” she says, sitting up straight in the chair. “Ma, I’ve never been as scared as I was yesterday. We were standing there talking when her little girl started having a seizure. Joker and Cage jumped on it and followed us to the hospital. I guess this isn’t the first time it’s happened, and it won’t be the last time either. At least from what Grim said.”
“Oh my! Is she okay?” I ask, hoping like hell that little girl will survive whatever ails her.
“Yeah. She needs her medicine changed or something like that. I’m not sure exactly what’s going to happen. But, I know that Cage and Joker are over at her house right now. They want to help her out with some yard work and putting together some things that she hasn’t had time to do yet,” she tells me, letting me know where the boys have gone without me having to ask.
“Do you think she’s the one?” I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.
“I know she’s the one. She won’t make it easy on them. You can see the pain and hurt in her eyes. Someone’s hurt that girl real bad, Ma. Her name is Skylar by the way,” my daughter says, letting me know that moving here was in fact the best decision. “It’s going to take them some time before they can bring her and the kids around the club. So, try to hold off on making your own introduction.”
Bailey knows me all too well. If it were up to me, I’d be on my way over there right now. But I’ll give them a little time to make sure that Skylar is ready to be brought into the fold. I just hope they take their time and don’t let her insecurities get in the way of something that could be amazing. Cage and Joker will treat any girl that they make theirs like a queen. If she’s as hurt and damaged as Bailey says, they’ll need to tread lightly with her. But my boys will do what they have to in order to ensure she becomes theirs if that’s what they feel in their hearts.
Chapter Six
56 years old
THE CLUB AS A WHOLE HAS HAD A LOT OF UPS AND DOWNS over the last six years. Today is the worst of those days though. We rescued Tank’s girl and ended up finding a whole shitload of girls that were being held hostage by the cartel. These girls were going to be sold to the highest fucking bidder. Maddie was involved because of some douche bag named Jason. He was Maddie’s ex and decided that she was a better punching bag and money maker than anything else.
As retaliation, the cartel decided to blow our fucking clubhouse up. Ma was inside with the kids and had no chance of getting out. She was killed on impact and I’m left with my heart shattered and my world torn to fucking pieces. Alana ‘Ma’ Johnson was love of my life and the center of my entire world. She’s the glue that held this club together and made sure that every single girl the guys took as an old lady knew what they were getting into and that they had someone to turn to when there was a problem. Right now, I’m ready to lay down on the grounds of the clubhouse and wait until I die. Death will not come soon enough for me.
I’m at the hospital waiting with everyone surrounding me while the injured are tended to and the kids are looked at. This is the last fucking place I want to be. So, I get up and walk out of the hospital in a daze. My feet carry me to my bike as if on autopilot and I straddle the only girl that I have left in my desolate life. The tears start streaming down my face as I turn the bike on and let the rumble and vibrations take over. Pulling out of the hospital parking lot, I have no clue where I’m going until I pull into the driveway of the house I’ve shared with my Alana for the last several years. It’s the second house we’ve ever owned as man and wife. It’s not the house that our kids grew up in, but it’s the house that our grandkids were in. Alana made this home even better than our original home in North Carolina.
For the longest time, I sit straddling my bike and looking at the house. Ma hasn’t even been gone from me that long and I can already feel the love she put into this house slipping away. It already feels like nothing more than a cold, lonely shell. How am I supposed to walk in there knowing that my girl will never again step foot through the door? How can I go in there and to the bed we shared knowing that I’ll never hold her in my arms again?
I can’t imagine it. So, I finally get off my bike and make my way toward the garage out back. It was my ‘man cave’ as Ma called it. There’s a bottle of my favorite, Jack Daniels sitting there waiting for me; calling my name as I walk through the door. Maybe if I drink enough I’ll be able to walk inside the house. If I drink enough, maybe I won’t remember the pain that I feel as my heart continues to shatter in a million pieces.
Sitting down in the leather recliner that Ma picked out for me when we moved here, I continue to let the tears slide silently down my face and drip onto my lap. As I pick the bottle of Jack up, I take the top off and throw it somewhere across the room. There’s no point in grabbing a glass when I know that I’m going to drink the entire contents of the bottle. If I’m lucky, I’ll die with it in my hand while I sit here and mourn the loss of my wife. A loss that I’ll never get over.
It’s been a week since the explosion of the clubhouse and today is the day that I bury my precious Ma. Hell, if I’m honest, it’s really the first day that I’ve seen anyone. I’ve stayed in my garage, drinking, and staying alone. The day she died, I trashed the entire room. There wasn’t a single picture, glass, or bottle that wasn’t smashed to pieces on the walls and floors. Anything that wasn’t tied down was fair game as I took out my rage and sorrow on inanimate objects. That did absolutely nothing to quench the rage and pain I feel.
Bailey, Joker, and the rest of the guys have been blowing my phone up. I got so sick of hearing the fucking thing go off that I smashed it days ago. The only reason I know that I have to go to the cemetery today is because Joker, Cage, and Tank stopped by and found me. So, I’m now waiting for Bailey and Grim to pick me up. If they think I’m riding in some fucking limousine or car, they’re out of their damn minds. I’ll be riding my girl.
Grim arrives to pick me up and Bailey isn’t with him. “Where the fuck is my daughter?” I growl out, confused and hurt by her not being here.
“She wouldn’t get out of bed. I tried and she’s lyin’ there curled up in a ball,” Grim tells me.
“Fuck that!” I say roaring out of the driveway. My daughter will not miss burying her mother and the others. They are our family and she will be there. Even if I have to drag her ass out of bed.
I don’t pay attention to anything as I make my way to my daughter’s house. Roaring into the area the houses are built, I ignore all the stares and looks being tossed my way. Stopping in the driveway to their house, I kick the kickstand down before storming into the house. Making my way to the bedroom, I stop in the doorway. Bailey is curled up in bed, sobbing uncontrollably. My heart breaks even more as I see her torn to pieces over the loss of everyone.
“Daddy, I can’t do this,” she says, as the tears continue to stream down her face unchecked.
“We’re gonna do this together,” I tell her, walking in the room and stopping once I make it to the end of the bed. “Now, get up so we can go and get this day over with. Your mama wouldn’t want to see either one of us the way we are right now. I’m gonna work on gettin’ back to livin’ my life.”
Bailey sits up and wraps her arms around me as I stand there and hold her. We need to do this today so that we can begin to move forward. This moment right here though, is something that Bailey and I need. It’s our moment where we can be alone and begin the healing process. Will we ever get over losing Ma? Fuck no! But we will learn to live our lives in a new way. One that doesn’t have that bright light shining from her that encompasses everyone surrounded by her.
“We need to go baby girl. Get around so we can get down there,” I tell her, giving her a kiss on the head before walking out of the room. “I’ll be waitin’ downstairs for you.”
We’re finally at the cemetery. The ride was long and extremely hard. I’m used to having Ma ride behind m
e and that will never happen again. Bailey made her way over to me as soon as we got here and I wrapped her in my arms before handing her over to Grim. She needs to learn to lean on him for strength and to let him in when she’s hurting this bad. I will always be her daddy, but today I need my own space too.
We stand around and wait for the ceremony to start. People are crying, there are anger and rage on faces, and others are standing back and letting those of us that knew these individuals the best be front and center as we lay them to rest. Honestly, the only thing I want to do right now is sit on the ground next to where my wife will lay to rest and be alone. I know that there’s nothing in the coffin resting in her spot. Just like I know she’ll be by my side for the rest of my days on earth. But, I have to get through this part of the day first. After that, my time is my own.
I stand there and listen as everyone speaks. I’ve been debating whether or not to get up there and say anything. There’s a big part of me that wants to keep the true beauty that Ma exuded to myself, but another part of me wants to share her with the world. No one will ever find a woman as good as she was. I know I’ll never ever find a love like I had with her. There’s no way that I’d want to. Before I know it, I find myself standing in front of the crowd. Clearing my throat and wiping my tears away, I look at the picture of Ma that someone brought here today. My breath leaves me as I take in her beauty that radiates off of a simple picture.
“This entire club has suffered a tremendous loss. We’ve lost some good men and women that will never be able to replace. I’m here to talk about Ma. She has been the love of my life and my strength that I don’t know what I’m goin’ to do without her. When I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, she was there to pull me back from the oblivion. Ma gave me two beautiful children that I couldn’t be prouder of,” I begin, pausing to wipe the tears away as memories flood my brain about our life together. “Those of you that were lucky enough to know her, could see that she didn’t care if you were blood or not. Everyone she came into contact with became family to her. The boys that have taken over the club were all her sons in one way or another. But, we didn’t have enough time. I’ll never have enough time with her. Now, she’s gone and my strength is gone with her. My light has left and I’m findin’ myself surrounded by a darkness that I can’t climb out of.”