by T. S. Joyce
“Doesn’t matter what she looks like. I’m not ready for a mate, and I’m especially not ready to commit to a complete stranger.”
“Oh, come on, Harrison. I screened her for you. I sifted through all the desperate humans looking to bang a Boarlander. You should be thanking me.”
“Thanking you? Are you serious right now? You sent me a human. Me. The alpha of the most fucked-up crew of shifters, and you think a meek human woman is a good fit?”
“Ooooh, you silly, naïve, simple, little newborn baby. Go type her name into the shifter registration site. Your mate is no human.”
Harrison stared at Willa, waiting for the punchline. When Willa got bored and sniffed her armpit, he took the bait. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I went and found you a mate who can deal with Clinton, Bash, and your scary-ass bear, too. Have you read these?” she asked, yanking the papers from Creed’s hand and holding them up. “You should. She’s one of the good ones, Harrison.”
“Why did you lure her up here, Willa?”
Willa grinned and walked away. Over her shoulder, she called out, “To get you living again. You’re welcome. Almost Alpha, out.” Remorselessly, she flicked her wrist in a tiny wave over her shoulder and made her way back to her mate, Matt, where she sank into his lap and rubbed his fake baby belly affectionately.
Creed grinned after her, then looked at Harrison. “Congratulations, man.”
“Shut up,” he grumbled as he made his way back to his truck.
Beaston stood leaned against the driver’s side door, head cocked, green eyes blazing. “I heard what Willa did. She’s good. You should go see your mate before she leaves you.” Beaston pushed off Harrison’s truck and crossed his arms over his chest. “Audrey makes sense now.”
Harrison had never liked giving Beaston his back, so he side-stepped to his truck and settled behind the wheel. As Harrison drove away, he looked to his rearview mirror once to see Beaston watching him leave with a strange smile crooking his lips.
Gripping the wheel, Harrison blasted away from Grayland Mobile Park, feeling even more unsettled than when he’d arrived.
Chapter Five
Audrey pulled her neatly folded shirts from the middle drawer of the dresser in her hotel room, then packed it in the corner of her suitcase. She regretted everything. Sure, she’d heard about people being tricked in online relationships, but she’d been careful and thought she’d asked all the right questions. She’d even called Clinton’s phone once just to make sure the profiles were legit. It had gone to his voicemail, but it was definitely his number.
Her phone dinged from the bedside table where it was charging. It was the custom sound that said she had a message on her Bangaboarlander profile. Audrey sank down onto the stiff mattress and checked the message.
I had Bash hack the website and now the person who tricked you has no access. I’m sorry.
-H.
She bit her thumbnail and stared at the glowing screen. She waited a few minutes, debating an answer. Her heart could not take getting deceived again.
How do I know it’s really Harrison this time and not some scammy life-ruiner?
She hit send and waited. A minute drifted by and then her phone dinged again.
You told me the other day that the kiss I gave you was the best you’d had. I feel the same. And it’s probably a really bad idea that I just told you that because again, you really shouldn’t want anything to do with a man like me.
-The Real H.
She read the first two sentences over and over, unable to believe Harrison was being so frank with her. He certainly didn’t sound like whoever had impersonated him before. Heart pounding in her chest, she pulled the charger cord out of the phone and lay on the bed as she typed a response.
I’m about to leave. I’m packing right now.
Five minutes passed so she went back to stuffing her folded clothes into her suitcase distractedly, eyes coasting time and time again to the silent phone nestled on the pillow.
A knock sounded at the door. Maybe it was housekeeping. They hadn’t been by yet today. She pulled open the door and there stood Harrison, even taller, wider, and more intimidating than she remembered.
“H-hello,” she said.
His eyes tightened slightly at the corners as he looked her over. “I’ve been sitting in the parking lot for an hour trying to talk myself out of knocking. This is a bad idea.”
“Uh, okay,” she said, looking around at her small hotel room. “Do you want to come in?”
Harrison strode past and rounded on her as soon as she closed the door. “I know what you are. I mean I could guess now that I smell you. You aren’t wearing that migraine-inducing perfume to mask your fur anymore. But…I mean I looked you up.”
Her heart sank to her toes and, feeling unstable, she sat on the chair by the two-seater table. “That’s bad news.”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t like people knowing about that part of my life.”
Harrison sat on the very edge of the bed and clasped his hands in front of him. “Explain.”
“That’s the point, Harrison. I don’t want to explain to anyone.”
“You don’t like being a shifter.” It was a statement, not a question, as if he already knew the answer.
“It’s not that I don’t like it. I just don’t understand anything about myself. I grew up with a human dad. The animal came from my mom, but I never knew her.”
“You haven’t met other shifters?”
“Not until Shifter Night, which is the actual reason I was on Bangaboarlander.com. It wasn’t for some shifter booty call. My dad just wanted me to find someone like myself so I don’t feel so…I don’t know…ashamed.”
“Ashamed.” Harrison rolled backward and locked his arms on the bed, then let off a single laugh. “Ashamed?” he repeated. “Woman, you’re a fucking tiger shifter. There’s no room for shame. Only badassery.”
“Yeah, you know, that’s what everyone thinks, but that’s not the way it is. I have no control over my Changes, and I know nothing about shifter rules or appropriate behavior except what I’ve read on Cora Keller’s website. That’s pathetic, Harrison. All I’ve learned about myself is from the internet. It wasn’t exactly my choice to come out and register.”
Harrison’s brows lowered. “Why did you then?”
“I was forced. God, this is so embarrassing,” she muttered, her cheeks blazing. “I had an uncontrolled Change in my Jeep during rush-hour traffic on the way into the city. Those marks on the back seats? I did that, trying to escape my damned ride. In standstill traffic. The police had to tranquilize me. And now there’s all these awful pictures on the internet of me lying on the pavement, all glossy-eyed with a dart sticking out of my shoulder.”
Harrison snorted, but then coughed to cover it up.
“It’s not funny. I was traumatized. Still am.”
“Clearly, because you came seeking safety with the Boarlanders.”
An accidental smile cracked her lips, but she pursed them together to hide it. “This really isn’t funny. I’m super messed up.”
“Disagree. Clinton is messed up. Bash is messed up. I’m messed up. Hell, the entirety of the Gray Back Crew is messed up. From where I’m sitting, you’re the most normal shifter I’ve met.”
“Mmm,” she murmured. “You haven’t seen my animal. She’s a bloodletting, rip-roaring, claws-out, bitey she-demon.” A long snarl rattled her throat and tapered off to nothing as her animal disagreed. The heat in her cheeks spread to the tips of her ears.
“She sounds sexy as hell.”
“Flatterer.”
“No really, look.” He pointed to his crotch. “That’s a bona fide boner, tiger edition.”
Sure enough, his long, thick shaft was bulging against the zipper of his jeans.
“My growl gave you an erection?”
“I like the growl, yes, but I like the way you smell without that perfume shit you wore the other day. I can smell your f
ur and your…”
“My what?”
He inhaled deeply and twitched a glance at her lap, then stared at the toe of his boot. “Forget it. Did you bring a bathing suit?”
“Yeah,” she drawled out suspiciously.
“Good, go put it on. I’m taking you to the hot spring. You can’t leave Saratoga without hitting all the tourist highlights.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I’ll be your tour guide. For today, at least. Tomorrow I have work to do.”
“Cutting trees?” she asked as she dug through her suitcase for the black and white striped swimsuit she’d brought.
“Yeah, we’ll do a shift tomorrow, but we’re down half the crew. I have a couple of newcomers moving in tomorrow evening, and I need to help them settle.”
“So they’ll be Boarlanders?”
“Kind of. Kirk is a silverback shifter who works at the sawmill under Kong. Do you know him?”
“Well, I saw them at the bar the other night and I’ve heard of them. Or rather, read about them. I researched the shifters in Damon’s mountains before I came here.”
“Like some kind of detective?”
She giggled and shook her head. “I’m a waitress at a tiny diner in Buffalo Gap. I was just really excited and nervous about coming up here and finally meeting you, and I’m horrible with names, so I studied the crew pages on Cora Keller’s website. Kong and Kirk registered officially around the same time I did last year.”
Harrison was staring at her lips as she talked, and she grew self-conscious under his scrutiny, so she dipped her gaze to hide her flushing cheeks.
“So Kirk will be under me, but not as an official Boarlander. And I’m leeching Mason off the Gray Backs to help as well. He never pledged under Creed. He’s there because his best friend, Damon, settled into Grayland Mobile Park with his mate, Clara, after their house was burned down by a”—Harrison cleared his throat and finished in a murmur—“rival dragon.”
Audrey gave him one slow blink as she tried to absorb all that information. She was beginning to realize Cora’s website was just scratching the surface. “Is Mason a shifter? I didn’t see him on the website.”
“And you won’t if he can help it. You know how it is. When we register, we have to update where we live. Mason cut himself off from his people and likes living here without them coming after him.”
“What is he? Wait, don’t tell me. That’s rude to ask, right?”
Harrison grinned such an easy smile, his dark blue eyes danced with the expression. God, he was stunning. “It’s considered rude to come out and ask someone what kind of animal they are, but it’s different in Damon’s mountains. Everyone knows everyone, and nobody gives a shit about etiquette. Not the Ashe Crew, not the Gray Backs, and certainly not my crew. Mason is a boar shifter. Not like one of those domestic pigs that lays around in the mud and eats slops, but a muscle-bound, razorback feral hog five times the size of the biggest one you’ll see in the wild with long, curving tusks, eyes like a demon, and pitch black fur. He’s a beast, but more importantly, he’s a really hard worker and a good guy. I need him bad, and I owe Creed for letting me have him for the rest of the logging season. We’re still short on labor, but with these guys, at least we have a shot at hitting Damon’s numbers.” Harrison frowned suddenly. “I can’t believe I just told you all that.”
“I won’t tell anyone. I’m from a tiny town, and I was the only shifter there. I hid what I was for the first twenty-five years of my life. Your secrets are safe with me.” Audrey held up her bathing suit. “I’m going to get dressed. I’ll be right back.”
Thank God she’d already shaved this morning because she was excited about seeing the famous hot springs and spending time with Harrison. The Harrison, not the made up imposter who had tricked her into coming here.
In front of the mirror, she pulled her straight brunette locks into a high ponytail, slathered on another layer of lip gloss, then glared thoughtfully at the bottle of perfume sitting next to the sink. That had been her crutch. She’d used it for years, paranoid that other humans would somehow smell her fur and deem her “other.” But here, she didn’t have to wear that horrid scent-mask. There were shifters all over these mountains, and the people of Saratoga were used to them. Accepting even. It wasn’t like Buffalo Gap where the town had revolted with the news that one of their own was a tiger shifter.
Plus, Harrison liked the way she smelled.
Audrey picked up the cold, half-full bottle and set it gently in the trashcan so the glass wouldn’t break. And when she stood back up and looked at her reflection, she was proud of herself. Straightening her spine, she pulled on her swimsuit cover-up, opened the bathroom door, and walked out, a ready smile for Harrison on her face.
But when she saw what was settled in his lap, she lurched to a stop and gasped.
He turned the page and looked up at her with a slight frown marring his face. Uncertainty had pooled in his stormy eyes. He asked, “So, is this some kind of book about your life?”
Rushing forward, she closed the book and pulled it to her chest like armor. “It’s stupid.”
“It’s really not,” he argued, locking his arms against the mattress until his triceps bulged.
“It’s a scrapbook.”
“Do you make a lot of them?”
“No, just this one. I brought it in case I wanted to add a page after I met you.”
“Let me see it.”
“No. It’s private. No one has seen it, and I like it that way.”
“Why?”
Audrey gritted her teeth and looked away. No answer was best.
“Let me guess. You don’t want me to see it because that’s the real you in there. That’s the little pieces you have kept hidden from everyone. Right?”
“You don’t understand.”
“I understand more than you think,” he said darkly. “I grew up an outsider, too. I had secrets to hide from everyone around me. It’s lonely.”
Tears burned her eyes, and she blinked them back. He did understand more than she’d assumed then, but she wasn’t ready to expose herself so deeply with only a moment’s notice.
“Audrey, I printed out every conversation you had on that matchmaking website. I wanted to read it so I could get to know you better, but three pages in, I was so pissed off I couldn’t read any more.”
Audrey hugged her scrapbook closer. “Why were you angry?”
Harrison’s eyes had lightened to a frosty color, and a muscle near his mouth twitched. “Because it’s not how this should’ve happened. It’s not how I want to get to know you. I want you to tell me all that stuff, and reading the conversation between you and someone else felt like stealing. I don’t want to steal that stuff, Audrey. I want you to give it to me.”
“Well, I thought I did,” she whispered. “I thought that was you, and you were falling in love with me, too…but I was alone in that.”
Harrison searched her eyes, then leaned forward and held out his hand. “Then let me catch up.”
Oh, she knew what he was asking for. He was asking for this huge piece of her that no one else knew about. He was asking for a part of her heart she’d kept only for herself. He was asking her to ignore the betrayal she’d endured and openly trust him.
Harrison Lang was the most dangerous man she’d ever met.
Audrey stared at the dingy, white, closed blinds of the single window and considered asking him to leave. She could tell him she wasn’t into him, she couldn’t do this anymore, or she’d simply been too hurt by the website betrayal.
But when she looked back at him, his eyes were steady, his palm still out, waiting, as if he really wanted to see this part of her. And if she didn’t do this now, she might never let anyone in.
“Please don’t laugh.”
“I won’t. I saw the first three pages, and they were really good. Sit by me and explain them.”
Reluctantly, she handed him the heavy scrapbook and sank onto the bed nex
t to him.
The front cover had cutout letters of her name on a blue background and a white housecat with black stripes she’d glued to the tame-looking critter.
Harrison pointed to it with his eyebrows arched up in question.
“The scrapbooking supply store didn’t have tigers so I had to make one.”
“Please fucking tell me you’re a white tiger.”
Her face cracked in a grin, and she closed her eyes to stifle the giddy sound in her throat. No one in her life had ever sounded hopeful about such things. “Yes,” she admitted in a whisper.
“Daaaaaamn. Woman, do you know how rare you are?”
“Well, yes, because I tried to track down a mate who was a tiger like me because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I didn’t know at the time if hooking up with a human was…you know.”
“Was what?”
“Taboo or gross.”
“It’s not. Shifters and humans hook up all the time. Creed’s mate, Gia, is totally human, and she gave him a little bear cub.”
“I figured that part out when I got ahold of the only other registered tiger. He was awful. He was interested in one thing. He was obsessed with talking about when I would go into heat.”
“Why?”
Audrey pressed her cool palms against the fire in her cheeks and said low, “Because I become crazy for sex, or mating, or whatever you call it. I guess it’s a big cat shifter thing. Anyway, I stopped talking to him when he turned raunchy.”
“Okay, you and I are going to talk more about your heat when you aren’t the color of a cherry Popsicle. Page one.” He flipped past the cover page to the first spread.
It was a series of pictures of her when she was born. Her dad hugged her close in one snapshot, and in another, her mother held her. Audrey was tiny and red cheeked, crying, and her mom’s head was angled down. All she could tell from this picture was that her mom had the same hair color as her. Her birthday was at the bottom in bubble letters.
Audrey pointed to the picture on the right. “That right there is the only picture I have of my mom.”