by T. S. Joyce
He smiled sadly down at her, stroking her hair. “I don’t think it works like that.”
“Harrison, I won’t let anyone hurt you,” she whispered. “You’re mine to protect, too.”
His heart thumped faster against her chin as he searched her eyes. Then slowly, he pulled her hand under the hem of his T-shirt and up, up until her fingertips brushed four raised claw-mark scars. “I was ten when I got this.”
“Oh, Harrison,” she murmured, heart aching. “Why did he do it?”
“Because he drank, and booze made him angry and bitter. It made him blame his problems on anything but himself, and I was an easy mark. I was asleep…fuck.” Harrison jerked his gaze to the window and shook his head over and over again. “I’ve never talked about this stuff.”
She would not cry. She wouldn’t. He was being strong, and so would she. Audrey pushed his shirt up and over his head, then kissed the long scars one by one.
Harrison swallowed hard and murmured, “I was asleep, and I woke up with my dad’s raging grizzly over me. I couldn’t Change fast enough, and even when I did, I was half his size. I fought, but I was hurt and scared, trying to just get out of the house. I wanted to get out into the woods where I had a chance at getting away.”
“And did you?”
“Yeah, but I was injured, and it was winter. I was so cold. I spent the night out there thinking I wouldn’t heal fast enough. That I was going to bleed out alone, and I remember staring at the sky and cursing my mom for leaving. For dying. I was so angry at everything. I made a rule that night to protect myself. If I lived, I would never let my dad in again. I would tolerate him, but harden myself until I was old enough to leave and find a crew. I would fight back. That night was the first time I’d ever defended myself, and in order to save my bear from being broken, I had to let him fight instead of just lying there, waiting for my dad to get tired of hurting me. And I did. Those were the last permanent scars he ever left on me.”
But Harrison was wrong. His dad had done something worse than scar his skin. He’d scarred his insides so that Harrison couldn’t sleep like he should. So that Harrison couldn’t feel safe. He’d battered his naturally protective instincts until they were barely manageable. His dad had made it to where even after all these years, he was still a hindrance in Harrison’s ability to function normally.
A low growl reverberated through her as she rested her cheek against the claw mark. She hated his father for what he’d done. She ran the flat of her tongue down the length of the mark, then froze as her gaze locked onto his. “I’m sorry,” she rushed out, lurching away from him. “I don’t know why I did that.”
His face cracked into a slow grin. “You smell like fur.”
Mortified, she sat up and clamped her arms around her stomach. “My animal thinks if she licks stuff, it fixes the problem, but my human side knows that’s stupid because your scar is already healed,” she rambled. “You taste good. I’m sorry for doing that. I should go.”
“Stop, stop, stop,” he murmured, his eyes glinting with a sexy wickedness. He pulled her head gently toward his chest. “Do it again. I like feeling your tongue on me.”
She hesitated an instant, then stuck out the tip of her tongue and licked his scar again.
“Like you mean it, kitty.”
Ooooh, he was sexy, demanding in his deep voice that she expose her animal instincts like this.
She slid her hand between his legs just to feel him, and sure enough, his erection was already hard as a rock and ready. Feeling much braver, she licked his scar again, then kissed down his ribcage. At his hipbone, she bit him hard enough that he jerked his pelvis and rolled his eyes closed.
Harrison was so reactive, her confidence grew, and now she had that same numb, happy feeling she’d gotten the first time they were intimate. She didn’t stifle the purr in her throat as she kissed his tense abs and pulled his jeans down his hips, unsheathing him completely.
God, he was stunning. His long dick throbbed once between his powerful legs, and now his fingers were in her hair, pushing her farther down until her lips brushed the swollen head of his cock. His muscles tensed as she licked the salty drop of moisture at the tip. So good. She loved this, loved how pliable he became with every touch of her lips, loved the taste of him, loved that he was barely in control. Mine, mine, mine.
Audrey rolled her hips against his leg as she slid her mouth over his cock. More. She needed so much more. Releasing him, she shimmied out of her cut-off shorts and pulled her tank top over her head.
Harrison’s eyes were bright now, like fresh snow. “Come here,” he rumbled.
She crawled over him and straddled his hips, then kissed him. How insane that a big, dominant alpha grizzly shifter would allow her to be on top, controlling their pace. The purr in her throat grew louder, then softer, then louder again.
With a devilish grin, Harrison gripped her hips and slid down the bed under her until his face was between her straddled legs.
“What are you—oooh,” she groaned as he lifted up and sucked gently on her clit.
When Harrison slipped his tongue up her wet slit, her hips jerked. He licked her again, and she swayed forward and closed her eyes. He teased her again and again, tongue hesitating at her entrance before he sucked her clit.
“Harrison, please,” she begged, voice growly and unrecognizable. Maybe she would be embarrassed by her animal side later when Harrison’s clever mouth wasn’t on her.
Sliding her legs farther apart, she lowered down for him and rocked her hips with the pace he set. So much pressure growing with every lick. When Harrison’s tongue dipped shallowly into her, she gasped his name.
His hand brushed down her back as she arched for him, and now his needy growl was rattling against her sex. His tongue slid deep inside her, and she groaned, tossing her head back at how good he felt right there. She was going to come soon, but she didn’t want to finish like this.
“I want you inside of me,” she whispered. The tingling sensation was growing so intensely now. So close.
Harrison sat up on the edge of the bed, taking her with him. His teeth were on her neck as she settled over his thick shaft, sliding over him slowly. Her chest heaved as she bowed against him and offered him better access to her neck. Harrison moved within her, powerful body flexing with every graceful stroke. His arms were strong around her back, dragging her closer every time their hips met.
“Audrey,” he rasped out through gritted teeth.
Harrison froze and warmth pulsed into her the second the first throbbing sensation of her climax burst through her. Harrison pulled her down hard over him, again and again as her orgasm became more intense, more consuming. His dick thumped against her insides as he emptied himself.
His muscles relaxed as her body pulsed on with faint, delicious aftershocks. Harrison massaged the back of her neck as she moved languidly against him, and when she finally stilled, he angled his face and kissed her.
She thought he would lay them back, but he seemed content to just hold her like this. And as his kiss gentled, he hugged her tighter against his chest. Burying his face against her neck, he murmured, “What are you doing to me, woman?”
Audrey ran gentle nails up and down his back as he rocked her gently. This wasn’t a quick bang followed by a rush to leave. Harrison was coveting her body and making sure she knew she was cared for after the intimacy they’d just shared. His lips were soft against her neck as he told her without words how much he adored her.
He was so warm, so strong against her. What was she doing to him? “I’m loving you.”
Harrison paused and eased back, searched her eyes as he cupped her cheek. His gaze ducked to her lips, and he sighed. “Soon, I want you to come with me when I walk the property line, but I can feel you holding back. I can still see shame in the color of your cheeks when your animal exerts herself. Give me your animal side, and I’ll show you my woods.”
“If I show you my secret self, you’ll let me in?”
she whispered.
The corner of his lips lifted in a faint smile. “Accept your tiger, and you can have anything you want.”
Chapter Eleven
“You sound happy, baby,” Dad said over the cell phone.
Audrey smiled down at the Boarland Mobile Park, newly lit with strands of outdoor lights. She’d climbed up the hill behind 1010 to get some privacy to call her dad, and below, she could see Harrison’s little kingdom. Her kingdom now, too. Harrison and Kirk were playing a game of horseshoes, and the echo of their trash talk traveled up to her.
Three days living here, and her old life felt so far away. “I really am happy, Dad. I just wanted to thank you for being so amazing to me when I was growing up.” Harrison’s inner scars from his abusive father ran deep, and she’d been thinking about how lucky she was to be born to a good man. “You are a really good dad. I don’t think anyone else would’ve encouraged me to move out of state and find a crew like this. And you did it without a single thought for yourself.”
“Well, honey, that’s what daddies do. It broke my heart to see you go. Part of me hoped you would turn right back around and come home to me. But a bigger part of me wanted you to find a place where you fit. As much as I wanted it to be true, you didn’t fit in Buffalo Gap. Swear to come visit me, though.”
Audrey laughed thickly and drew a circle in the dirt between her legs with a crooked stick. “I swear. And as soon as you can, I want you to come up here and see me and these crazy boys I’m living around. They’re wild, but good people. I think you’ll like them.” She frowned at Clinton’s trailer where he sat by himself drinking a beer. Well, most of them.
Another wave of pain seized her muscles, and she doubled over and grunted.
“Audrey? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just the animal,” she gritted out.
Sympathetically, he asked, “She’s close?”
“Yeah. It’s been a while.”
“Do the other shifters hurt like you?”
“I don’t know. We don’t talk about that stuff.”
“Well, you’re there with people just like you. Maybe you should.”
Audrey forced her stiffened muscles to relax as best she could and shifted her attention to Harrison. Maybe he felt her watching from the night shadows of the trees because he lifted his face and locked his gaze right where she was sitting.
“Maybe I will. I love you, dad.”
“I love you, too, honey. You call me again soon.”
“I will. Goodnight.”
“’Night.”
She ended the call and stared at the glowing cell phone screen until it went dark.
Tomorrow was a big day. It was the first day of her new job at Moosey’s, and she didn’t want an uncontrolled Change with all the stress. No way in hell did she want a repeat of her eighth birthday party. But Harrison had a lot on his plate right now with bringing a new crew in line, hitting lumber numbers, and fixing up the park.
She felt bad asking about things she should already know, and Harrison was already being drained from all sides. She didn’t want to be part of the problem.
But…
If she didn’t ask, she would never understand her animal.
A long, low snarl rattled her throat as she doubled over again. This was her least favorite part of being a shifter. This right here was why it had been so easy to hate her mom. It wasn’t the leaving that had destroyed any loyalty Audrey had for her. It was the fact she put an uncontrollable beast inside of her, and then left the animal to eat her up.
The pain became blinding, and Audrey lurched forward to retch. She was scared. That was a part of sharing her body with a monster. Fear. She was scared of the animal, scared of the pain of the Change. Hers wasn’t fast like Harrison and Clinton’s had been. It wasn’t explosive or instant. It was slow and drawn out, and sometimes it stalled, and she just lay there, dying, caught between one form and the other, broken and wishing she could cry out in agony.
Sharing this part of herself would hurt the incredible relationship she was building with a man she was falling deeply in love with. She imagined him looking down at her hideous transformation with disgust crooking his lips, like all those crowds that had gathered around her limp body on the pavement. A flash of police sirens and the sting of the tranquilizer dart flashed across her mind. She’d been able to see everything from the burning pavement where she’d fallen. Every face in the crowd, every flash of every camera. She hadn’t been able to move a muscle, but she’d heard the horror and revulsion in everyone’s tone as they’d looked at her shifted body.
Now she was terrified to let anyone else see her.
“You’re fighting her,” Harrison said from behind her.
With a gasp, Audrey twisted around. “Don’t look at me,” she rasped.
Hurt flashed across Harrison’s face as he took a step back. He smelled like fur, and his eyes reflected like an animal’s in the glow of the trailer park below them.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she panted, gripping clumps of grass in her fists. She was on her hands and knees, buckling under the pain. “I don’t know how to do this. Everything hurts.” The last syllable turned into a feral sounding growl. “I’m scared.” Tears streamed down her face, and she wished she was stronger. Braver. Better. Harrison deserved that.
“Listen to me, Audrey. Fighting her will make it so much worse. You’ve been waiting too long, making her force her way out of you. Give in.” He was so close now, not touching her, but she could feel his warmth. He was kneeling in front of her. Dangerous.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. Look at me.” Harrison leveled her with a bright-eyed look. “We’ll do this together. I’ll Change with you. I’ll show you my territory. Just give her your body.”
“I don’t know hooooooow,” she cried as her arm snapped.
“Fuck, Audrey! You’ll drag it out. Just close your eyes and give in!”
A smattering of sickening pops sounded, and two massive bear paws landed on either side of her, so hard the earth shook beneath her. He bellowed a deafening sound right above her, and the monster in her middle responded with a long, echoing roar that shook the air like thunder.
Squeezing her eyes closed against the fire lapping at every cell in her body, Audrey relaxed her muscles and reached for the tiger. Thirty counted seconds of agony later, she lay panting and limp. Harrison’s massive, chestnut grizzly paced frantically in front of her, as if he’d endured the agony of her Change right along with her.
Thirty seconds. Sure, it was no explosive Change like Harrison had accomplished, but it was a record for her.
She was scared to get up, scared she would lose her mind and attack the bear she loved, but as the seconds ticked by, all she felt was adoration for him. He looked so worried, her Harrison.
He paced closer and buried his nose against the scruff of her neck. Warmth spread through her from where he touched her fur. Struggling upward, she held her head up and twitched her tail as Harrison curled around her protectively. With a hard blink, she looked down at her lithe body. Usually, she hated herself most in this form, but tonight was different. Perhaps it was because this past week the Boarlanders and Gray Backs had seemed so excited that she was a tiger. Or maybe it was Harrison, who seemed completely enamored with her any time she let a purr slip. But if felt like more. Like maybe the change was because she saw herself differently now. She wasn’t a freak. She just wasn’t human. It didn’t make her an abomination. It just made her different, and maybe different was okay. It made her fit in just fine with these people, who she was growing to adore.
Something large moved in the woods below them, and a quick drumming from above startled her into a crouched position. She hissed out a warming, placing herself in front of Harrison. But when she looked up into the branches to see what had made that terrifying noise, a huge silverback gorilla sat propped on a thick branch, hand clutched onto the trunk of the tree. Kirk. He climbed d
own gracefully and circled her. When he reached out and brushed her fur with one curled, dark finger, she tensed, but allowed it.
A low rumble rattled Harrison’s chest behind her, and Kirk backed away. He stood frozen, propped up on his powerful arms, and behind him, a shockingly massive ink-black boar with long white tusks trotted forward. Farther back, another titan grizzly with fur the color of pitch ambled through the trees. They were all watching her with wary eyes. Wary, not disgusted.
She pushed herself up, ears back, tail low, because she was the smallest animal here, but at her movement, the others backed away a few paces. All but Harrison. She bared her teeth and let off a roar, then let it taper to a long growl just to test her voice.
Harrison nuzzled his face down her ribcage, and Kirk beat his chest again. Mason kicked up dirt under his front hoof, and Bash’s bear stood on his hind legs like he wanted to see her better. It was Harrison who moved off first, pausing every few steps to look back at her.
Right. She should follow.
Bash settled in behind her, but Kirk and Mason made their way side by side through the woods near them. The earth was warm and moist against the thick pads of her paws, and captured by a moment of excitement, she took off running, using her tail for balance. Crouching down in front of Harrison, she leapt at him and wrapped her claws around his neck, then gave him a gentle play bite. He didn’t flinch away or act like her claws hurt. Instead, he grunted and kept walking, dragging her along with him.
She released him and ran her tongue along the side of his face, then stopped and cleaned a sticker burr from her own paw. Bash pushed his nose against her back, then meandered around her with powerful strides.
She’d shifted…with other shifters! This was awesome!
Audrey took off again, this time toward Kirk, but he was having none of her shenanigans, and he scrambled up a tree and out of her way. Leaping through the air, she caught the trunk and held on, a few feet above the ground, and all of her claws dug deep into the bark. She could chase Kirk, but Harrison let off a short roar, demanding her attention, like when his bear had called her tiger out of her. Magic mate.