Murmurs rise—“Ruby fell in the bathroom and hit her head. She is unconscious!’’
Robin and a few other men carry her to the boat and rush to the hospital. But by the time the boat reaches the opposite shore, she is dead! Nobody realised it, except for me!
I can see her spirit rising from her body.
“She was not well the past few days.”
“She had high blood pressure.”
“What a terrible accident.”
Scattered murmurs rise in the air.
Soon, the news spreads like wildfire. Ruby is dead! By the time Robin got her to the hospital, she was already dead.
“The poor girl. She’s only had grief in her life. And to end like this!” Oppol laments when the news reaches home.
“Those poor kids! Now, they have only Robin.” A neighbour sighs.
I listen with growing numbness. Another forty-one days. Please, can I have another forty-one days? To be with my beloved? To be one with her once more?
No.
Even as I wish for it, I know the futility of it. My last rites have all been completed. I have no more excuse to stay here. The spirits won’t allow it. I won’t be able to reason with them. I can’t. I have no control over events anymore. They have their own laws, applicable equally to one and all. To rich and poor, to lovers and haters.
Wasn’t I supposed to be free from all attachments and emotions? What is happening now? Why am I in the throes of this struggle? What is Ruby to me anymore? What is Ruby’s spirit to me anymore? Are we still lovers? Do spirits love?
Again, I’m tossed about in the whirlpool of questions with no answers! My torn spirit needs some reassurance.
Is this a sign? That Ruby and I are meant only for each other? Would we have another life to be together? Longings! Undying longings! Love beyond death!
Suddenly, the spirits form a cordon around me. In the brilliant light, I feel being wiped clean.
A last look at my home and family. A last look at my yard and tree. A last look at the Periyar flowing in the distance.
My life flashes before me.
In the womb. The first cry. The warmth of Amma’s breast. The first taste of her milk. The images whiz past faster and faster till I cannot separate individual ones from the whole. Everything stops suddenly. Stillness.
The guardian speaks. “All memories, thoughts, emotions, relations and bonds are hereby severed from you. You are free from your previous birth. From here on, nature will be your mother, and the sky will be your father.”
I start floating away with them.
The voice continues. “The soul is holy. It is immortal. It is not born. It does not die. Death is merely a door. A conduit from one to another. All that is born will die. No one has made any sense of births. No one has made any sense of deaths. Humans can only try to make sense of the time between birth and death.
One has to leave all his wealth behind when he dies. But the effects of his actions, the knowledge he has gained and the skills he has acquired will stay with his soul.
Nobody can select his life. It is a luck of the draw.
Your core came flowing from somewhere. The core you created will flow into something else. The secret of being.
The only thing you possessed that you leave behind is your name. Your identity. That will last a long time, depending on the way you lived.
Believe in the unity of God. Believe in his prophets. Know right from wrong. Follow the path of right. God does not experiment. He is not cruel. He creates and gives freedom to his creation—to choose.
Truth is complete. Grace is everlasting. Each creation is new. Every experience is new. Nothing is repeated in rebirths. There is a reason for everything. God has not discriminated. Man created discord and discrimination. A baby does not possess a religion. Animals do not possess a religion.
All blood is red.
Man is too anxious. He cries more. Smiles less. Complains more. Thanks less.
He travels to other planets but he will not visit his own neighbour.
He purifies everything except his own soul.
He dies without living.
After the death of man, everything decays, except the last vertebra, because God recreates him from that tiny piece of bone, that part of the embryo, from which a new life begins.
This is knowledge. The beginning of all life.”
It is time.
The air is still.
Lightning flashes in the sky. Another mating of the atoms.
And the making of memories.
In Memoriam
The human mind is an eternal puzzle. No one has ever solved it. At times, you think you have the answer, only to be tricked by infinitely more complexities.
The ability to focus is a blessing, sadly lacked by most human minds. Most are distracted by the sand and the surf; they miss the pearls.
Uthaman’s soul is sparring with us. The question might arise whether the soul can think and debate. To date, there has been no evidence to the contrary. Aren’t our thoughts concentrated in our souls, rather than our bodies?
Uthaman left us halfway through his journey. It was fate. The cruel game of fate. Death is a cruel jester with no sense of propriety.
Was Uthaman, as his name indicates, a perfect man? No, I don’t think so. And Uthaman would be the first person to admit to his faults. He was weak. Inconstant. In life’s important moments, he hesitated, and let the moment pass, and then despaired for the lost moment. He hurt not just himself with his indecisiveness but his loved ones too.
You might ask, couldn’t he have avoided all the miseries in his life had he been more forceful?
I don’t think so. Each of us travels a predetermined path. We can’t change that. Even God could not alter destiny, let alone mere humans. We have plenty of examples of God-fearing, good people suffering in life and dying terrible deaths while devilish sinners prosper in life and die peacefully. These puzzles are beyond our grasp.
Uthaman’s bitter experiences embody the grief of humanity. He was too busy taking care of others to take care of himself. Or maybe he wanted it that way. To put others’ joy before his own.
I have experienced the purity of that heart. The unbridled love for humans and nature that abounded in him.
He was a soothing breeze in my life. Always cooling the burning embers in my heart.
I can understand why his soul pines for this earth and her people. Because he had only love for them. I embrace that divine soul with all the love and respect that I can summon.
Let me offer these flowers of tears on his grave.
They will never wilt.
Let me light a lamp with the oil of his love.
It will never stop burning.
Of this, I am sure.
Manu master
Glossary
Aayilyam: A Malayalam star in the Hindu astrology with the serpent as its symbol.
Achen: Father
Adhyapika: Teacher (Name of a Malayalam movie here)
Amavasi: New moon or no moon night.
Amma: Mother
Anjili tree: A large, tropical evergreen tree in Kerala (also known as wild jackfruit tree), typically about twenty to twenty-five metres tall and five metres in girth, with bright yellow, edible fruits
Annaprasan: A Sanskrit term, which means ‘grain initiation’. It’s commonly used to refer to a baby’s first solid feeding or first rice-eating ceremony and is called choroonu in Kerala.
Appam: A type of pancake made with fermented rice batter and coconut milk.
Appan: The name used for father among Christians of Kerala.
Appu: The pet name of the main character, Uthaman—a common pet name in Kerala.
Ashram: A place of religious retreat.
Ashwathy: Malayalam star in Hindu astrology
Atham: The first day of Onam celebrations.
Athapookalam: The elaborate flower arrangement done on floors of homes during Onam.
Autos/autorickshaws: A small mo
tor vehicle with three wheels, commonly used as a taxi in India.
Ayyo: A quintessential Malayalam word which can convey a plethora of emotions, all the way from surprise to regret to exclamation…
Betel box: Commonly made of silver filigree, it is a box for carrying pellets of prepared betel leaves, lime and areca nuts, chewed in leisure.
Bhajan: A song with a religious or spiritual theme.
Bharani: A star in Hindu astrology; also, a special, widemouthed porcelain vessel used in South India to store jams, pickles and sweets like halwa.
Bindi: A decorative dot worn on the forehead by Indian women.
Changampuzha: Renowned romantic, Malayalam poet.
Chechi: Elder sister
Chempazhanthy: A place near Thiruvananthapuram, this is the birthplace of Sri Narayana Guru.
Chittedathu: A family name.
Chutney: A thick sauce of various ingredients, typically made with ground coconut and chillies in Kerala. An accompaniment to most Malayali meals.
Darbha: A tropical grass considered a sacred material in Vedic scriptures and said to purify offerings during Hindu rituals.
Dhoti: A loose piece of clothing wrapped around the lower half of the body, worn by Indian men.
Dosa: A pancake made from thin dough of rice flour and ground pulses, like Urad dal.
Etta: Elder brother; also, a term of respect or endearment used by women to address their spouses or lovers.
Gandhian: A socio-political and religious-philosophical doctrine that follows the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi.
Gita: Bhagavad Gita, the holy book of Hindus.
Grihastashram: It refers to the second phase of an individual’s life in the four age-based lifestages of the Hindu ashram system. This stage embodies a married life along with fulfilling the duties of maintaining a home, raising a family, educating one’s children and leading a family-centred and a dharmic social life.
Halwa: A sweet Indian dish, made from a variety of ingredients, including jackfruit.
Hartal: The act of closing shops or suspending work for a day, usually as a mark of political protest.
Idli: Steamed rice cake
Kadala curry: Chick-pea curry
Kargil War: The war between India and Pakistan in the year 1999.
Karma: This is the result of a person’s actions as well as the actions themselves. It is a term about the cycle of cause and effect. According to the theory of Karma, what happens to a person does so because they caused it with their actions— in this birth or previous births.
Kathakali: The traditional dance drama of Kerala, distinguished by the elaborately colourful make-up, costumes and face masks worn by the dancers.
Khus: A perennial bunchgrass with a characteristic smell.
Kindi: A type of uniquely shaped pitcher to hold water, made of bell metal, usually found in old houses in Kerala.
Kolam: A form of drawing using rice flour/chalk powder/ white rock powder or naturally/synthetically coloured powder, in front of homes in South India.
Kumbha: A month in the Hindu solar calendar, overlapping with the months of February and March.
Lord Shani: He is the ruler of Saturn. He plays an important role in the lives of every person. People pass through several births. In course of their journey, they accumulate sins and merits, and Lord Shani bestows the results and consequences born out of people’s karma.
Makham: A Malayalam star in Hindu astrology
Malayali: A person from Kerala; those who speak Malayalam.
Manama: The capital city of Bahrain.
Mangalasutra: A mangalasutra (from Sanskrit mangala, meaning holy and auspicious, and sutra which means thread) is a necklace that a Hindu groom ties around the bride’s neck during their wedding, which identifies her as a married woman.
Master: A respectful term for a male teacher; also, a man who has servants working for him.
Maveli: Maveli is the legendary benevolent Asura (demon) king of Kerala. His rule was considered one of the greatest with abundant prosperity and happiness. His success as the king made the gods jealous of him and they sought to bring his demise at the hands of Vamana (an avatar of Vishnu). To appease his subjects who were distraught at his death, Maveli is allowed to return to earth once every year and this is celebrated as the auspicious festival of Onam by Malayalis all over the world.
Mohiniattam: A traditional, classical dance form of Kerala.
Moksha: In Hinduism and Jainism, the transcendent state attained as a result of being released from the cycle of rebirth.
Mol: Daughter
Mon: Son
Monsoons: It is the seasonal prevailing wind in South Asia which brings rain to Kerala. The south-west monsoon (Edavapathi) is the primary rainy season in Kerala, which begins by the end of May or early June and lasts till the end of September. The north-east monsoon, also known as the retreating monsoon or the reverse monsoon or Thulavarsham (as it rains during the Malayalam month of Thulam) occurs in the months of October and November and sometimes lasts till December. Heavy afternoon rains accompanied by thunder and lightning is the main characteristic of the season.
Moolam: A Malayalam star in Hindu astrology
Muthassi: Grandmother
Nair family: An upper-caste in Hindu hierarchy, inferior to Brahmins.
Namboothiri: An upper-caste of Brahmins in Hindu hierarchy.
Naxalites: Far-left radical communists
Nirvana: In Hinduism and Buddhism, this is the highest state that someone can attain, a state of enlightenment, which means that a person’s individual desires and sufferings cease to exist.
Onam: Onam is the most important festival of Kerala. It is a harvest festival and is celebrated with joy and enthusiasm all over the state by people of all communities. According to popular legend, the festival is celebrated to welcome King Mahabali, or Maveli, whose spirit is said to visit Kerala at the time of Onam. It is celebrated in the month of Chingam, the first month of Malayalam Calendar, corresponding with the months of August and September. The carnival – of Onam lasts for ten days. The first day, Atham, and the tenth day, Thiruvonam, are the most important days.
Onasadya: The sumptuous vegetarian banquet served on a banana leaf for Onam.
Onion sambar: A lentil-based vegetable stew, a favourite accompaniment for rice, dosa and idli.
O.N.V. Kurup: Renowned Malayalam poet.
Oppol: An endearing term for an elder sister.
Pala flowers: Fragrant flowers of the evergreen tropical tree called pala or devil tree.
Panchagavya: A concoction prepared by mixing five products of cow and used in traditional Indian rituals. The three primary ingredients are cow dung, urine and milk; the two derived products are curd and ghee.
Panchangam: A Hindu calendar and almanac, which follows traditional units of Hindu timekeeping and presents important dates and their calculations in a tabulated form.
Pandal: A marquee
Parole: The release of a prisoner temporarily (for a special purpose) or permanently before the completion of a sentence on the promise of good behaviour.
Paaruamma: A common name for women in Kerala; here, the name of the midwife who delivered Uthaman.
Pavithra ring: This is a ring worn by Indians for its ritualistic value. This holy ring is worn on the right ring finger during the rituals of the prayer for the dead ancestors of the person. It was traditionally made of darbha grass, but the modern ones are made of gold or silver. The shape of the ring is unique and it looks like a knot.
Periyar: A famous river in Kerala.
Petromax: A portable type of vapourised paraffin pressure lamp.
Pooraadam: Malayalam star in Hindu astrology.
Pooram: Malayalam star in Hindu astrology.
Puja: Worship; in Hinduism or Buddhism, the ritual of daily devotion involving offerings of food and drink and prayers to a deity.
Pujari: A Hindu temple priest, usually from the Brahmin caste.
Punartham: A Malaya
lam star in Hindu astrology.
Puttu: Steamed cylinders of ground rice layered with coconut. A favourite breakfast dish in Kerala.
Sanchayanam: A day of rituals over the grave or for collecting ashes and bones of the cremated body.
Sadya: A sumptuous vegetarian banquet served on a banana leaf to mark festivities in Kerala, including weddings and funeral rituals.
Sambar: A lentil-based vegetable stew popular in South India.
Sari: A traditional dress worn by Indian women.
Sarpakkavu: Meaning ‘the abode of snakes’, this is a natural sacred space maintained and held in reverence near traditional homes in Kerala, which is inhabited by snakes. The area usually contains a representation of naga raja (king of the snakes), and offerings and rites are performed during special ceremonies.
Settu Mundu: Traditional clothing of women in Kerala.
Shiva linga: This is an abstract or iconic representation of the Hindu deity Shiva used for worship in temples or smaller shrines. In traditional Indian society, the linga is seen as a symbol of the energy and potential of Shiva himself.
Shloka: Shloka is a Sanskrit word referring to a verse, proverb, hymn or poem that uses a specific metre. It is considered as the classic basis for epic Indian poetry like Ramayana and Mahabharata.
Sri Narayana Guru: A most revered social reformer in Kerala, who rejected casteism and promoted new values of spiritual freedom and social equality.
Suryanamaskaar: A yoga position of honouring the sun by bowing.
Thalassery: A place in Northern Kerala.
Tandav: A divine, ferocious dance form associated with Lord Shiva
Thulasithara: This is a raised platform in the courtyard of Hindu houses in Kerala where the holy basil (thulasi) is grown. It is considered a sacred place, where a lamp is lit every evening and prayers are offered.
Tulsi: Holy basil, worshipped by Hindus.
Upanishads: A part of the Vedas, these are ancient Sanskrit texts that contain the central philosophical concepts and ideas of Hinduism, some of which are shared within Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism.
Upma: A thick, spicy porridge made from dry roasted semolina.
Uruli: A traditional, sturdy, heat-resistant, round cookware extensively used in South India; commonly made of aluminium, copper or bronze.
The Soul of Truth Page 30