by Lexi Blake
“Did it work, boss?” Kyle asked.
“Beautifully.” Holder was perfectly happy with the geek. He was never going anywhere without one again. “She caused some nice chaos. And they take it seriously now. I’m in. I’m supposed to come back tomorrow. We can make plans on when to take the girl then. The security’s good, but not perfect. I doubt Lodge will have time to upgrade before we can nab her.”
“I have confirmation that Jagger, Klein, and Shaver are en route. They’ll get here and obtain a nice quiet place to have our talk with the target.” Kyle hesitated for a moment. “She’s bad, right?”
Holder felt his eyes roll. His geek needed to toughen up. “She’s really fucking bad for us. Do you want to go to jail?”
Kyle huffed. “Of course not. Look, this list of stuff you had me buy creeps me out. Are you planning on torturing her?”
“I might have to rethink that. She might actually like it.” Freaks. “Listen, you won’t be there. Do your job. Now, did you get the intel I sent you?”
After he’d broken into the office, he’d spent some time making sure he knew all about the security system. It was good, but there were always ways around it, and now he knew Taggart was in charge. He would have to deal with the security cameras. He would study the other buildings that McKay-Taggart had serviced. He’d found several ways in. There were too many people who lived there for it to be truly closed down. The building itself was large, but once he’d gotten past the few residential floors, the office space had been quiet since it was the weekend. It would be the perfect time to take her, and now that he knew she would run, he had a plausible reason for her disappearance.
He would be there, standing right next to Leo, when Shelley McNamara disappeared.
And he knew who to pin it on.
“I need you to pull up everything you can on Ben Dawson and, Kyle, you better be careful. His brother is a paranoid freak with computer skills to rival your own. He claims he’s taken them off the grid.”
“No one is good enough to really be off the grid, sir. And I doubt he’s as good as me. I’ll dig up the dirt.”
And then Holder would have everything he needed for a successful op. He would have his target and a patsy to blame the whole thing on.
Chapter Fifteen
Leo stared out of the window. The sun was starting to go down. It had been a ridiculously long day, and it wasn’t over yet. He felt old and tired. Seeing those photos of Ada had brought back guilt and horror. Realizing Ben had been in love with her had opened up a whole new door of regret.
And then Shelley had proven that nothing had changed.
She’d run again. And his first thought had been to run himself. He’d thought about letting Wolf deal with her.
“You still with me, Doc?”
He shook his head and looked back at Logan. “I’m sorry. I drifted away. It was a long day.”
The deputy’s shoulders moved up and down in a negligent shrug. “It’s not a problem. Look, I don’t think I need this. I’m not saying anything bad about therapy, but I actually feel fine. I feel better than I have in over a year. When Trev’s sister ran earlier and you had me guarding the exit, I wasn’t even thinking about killing anyone. I was absolutely going to incapacitate the bad guys, and I wasn’t even going to enjoy it. I think I’m good.”
Leo sighed and turned back to the young man. They’d spent the last hour talking about his youth. He’d had a rough start in life, but he’d been a baby. Logan understood on a logical level that his father had been abusive and his mother had run away. He’d read the police reports on how his mother’s friend had been forced to kill his father when the man had tried to kill Logan’s mother and take him away. It was a horror story, but Logan had been nine months old at the time. When he talked about his childhood, Logan’s face lit up. He’d listened to Logan’s numerous happy childhood stories about growing up in Bliss with his moms and his friends.
Leo had found himself slightly jealous. He’d grown up one town away, but it had been different. His mother was odd, and she hadn’t been accepted as easily as Logan’s moms had been. Until Cassidy Meyer had met a man named Mel who lived in Bliss, she’d been alone and raising two boys.
And yet his own childhood had been good. Despite the fact that he’d wanted to see the world, he remembered being loved. He remembered good times with his brother, running through the forests, feeling free.
When had he lost that? And how did he get it back?
“I needed to get out of Bliss,” Logan said with a long sigh.
Leo turned to him, staring at the young man, his attention finally pulled from his reverie. “You said you loved Bliss. And yet you believe you would be happy not going back?”
Logan shrugged. “Well, I guess it’s time for me to leave home. Not everyone stays in their hometown.”
No. Not everyone stayed in their hometown. And sometimes they could check out even when they stayed in one place. Leo had checked out the year before. He’d drawn in on himself after Shelley had turned him down.
He really was a pussy. One rejection from the woman he loved and he’d walked away.
Because he’d been walking away for a very long time. Because deep down, he was worried he would leave the woman he loved alone like his mother had been. Like he and Wolf had been. Because he’d never gotten over his guilt concerning Ada’s death. Because he’d married a woman he hadn’t loved and failed her in so many ways.
Fuck. Goddamn it to hell. He was twelve kinds of screwed up.
And yet he knew what to say to Logan. “You’re telling me you’re willing to give up your home rather than working through the problem?”
Was he willing to give up Shelley, his chance at a family, because it was more comfortable to not face his own issues? And Wolf. If he turned away from the gift his brother was trying to give him, he doubted he would ever really get close to Wolf again. Wolf wouldn’t turn his back, but he would close off that piece of himself that had deep down longed for this kind of family. Leo had no illusions. Wolf would take Shelley, and he would do his best to make her happy. Wolf would give her his all. His brother was tenacious. Wolf might worry about his place in the world, but Leo thought he might have already found it. Wolf would be Shelley’s husband, her loving Master, her best friend.
And he was willing to make a place for Leo if only Leo was brave enough to take it.
Logan’s face had gone grave. “I can visit. Later on.”
“You have a job, friends, family back in Bliss.”
“I can make new friends.” He shook off his gloom and pasted a sunny smile on his face. “Now that I think about it, it’s a good thing. I have a friend in New York who I can go see.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Distancing himself wouldn’t make the problem go away.
Logan stood, pacing a bit. “Doc, I appreciate everything you’re trying to do for me, but I’m fine. I feel better, like a weight has been lifted. I’ll stay for a week or so if that’s okay, but then I’ll make arrangements to get out of your hair. You can help someone who really needs it.”
Leo kept his mouth closed. He was starting to see through the deputy. Perhaps because the deputy had shown him so much of himself.
Logan Green was scared. Angry, perhaps. He was stuck in a corner, but he’d decided he could pretend that corner was the world.
Leo could tell him where that would end. It would end in loneliness and broken promises. He’d promised so much to himself and his family and allowed fear and pain to lead him to a place where no one could touch him. If he continued down this path, Logan could smile and joke and laugh. He could even feel for his friends. He could give to the people around him. And he would have nothing for himself.
“Perhaps you’ll change your mind. Come to the dungeon tonight. Continue the BDSM training. We don’t have to have sessions like this.” Of course, the BDSM training was simply another session, but most of his patients didn’t see it that way. He’d gotten good at being s
neaky. Tag didn’t realize their weekly two on twos was a way to make sure Tag understood how to support his wife. Charlotte Taggart was in Janine’s domestic abuse support group. He intended to get Shelley into it, too.
Logan stood. He shook his lanky body as though he’d expected more of a fight but was happy to have gotten off easily. “Sure, Doc. I have to admit, I’m intrigued by the whole Dom thing. I don’t mind that part.”
Then that was where Leo would attack. Most therapists would smack him for putting it that way, but he’d spent enough time in the military that violent metaphors were definitely in his repertoire. And so was subterfuge. With Trev McNamara, he’d used sports and working out to get him talking. Logan would take something different.
Logan walked out, promising to see Leo in the dungeon that night, and he was left alone again.
He tried to breathe, lowering himself to the floor, legs folded. He placed an open palm on each knee and allowed his breath to become very deliberate. He tried to release his issues, to allow his mind to become a peaceful blank. When his mind was empty, perhaps he would find some peace.
When he found some peace, perhaps he would find some clarity.
Could he share with his brother? Long term?
He let the question flow out of his mind. He needed a blank mind. He needed peace.
A vision of Shelley, her brown eyes filled with need, her mouth open and gasping out the pleasure he brought her, assaulted him.
Damn it. He couldn’t stop thinking about it.
It teased at the edge of his consciousness. Shelley in his arms. Shelley with his collar around her throat and his ring on her finger. Shelley in his bed every night.
And Wolf.
It wasn’t how he’d envisioned his life.
There was a knock on his door. Thank god.
Leo got up from his place and called out. “Come in.”
Wolf opened the door. “Got a minute?”
He nodded. He was actually getting used to Wolf walking in at any given time. And he rather liked being called “brother.” And he definitely liked what Wolf hauled in after him. Shelley held his brother’s hand. She’d been untied, but her eyes were submissively on the floor as Wolf led her in.
“I need to go out for a while and pick up a few things for tonight.” Wolf brought Shelley into the office. He kissed the top of her head and settled her onto the sofa. “You be good or I can put that plug back in, and I will be overly generous with the lube.”
She shuddered. “That’s not nice, Wolf.”
His brother winked down. “That’s why I’m the Dom, baby. And your punishment isn’t over yet. Wait ’til you see what I have for you tonight.”
“I don’t know if I want to,” she admitted.
Wolf touched his nose to hers in a sweetly affectionate gesture. “Trust me, baby.”
She nodded, their connection evident. How had his brother managed that in so short an amount of time? Leo could remember the first time he’d seen her. She’d been sitting next to her mother’s hospital bed. She’d been tired and haggard and so damn beautiful his heart had skipped a beat.
But he’d held back. Even before he’d known she was married. Wolf had jumped in with both feet.
“Can you watch her while I’m out?” Wolf asked, his face open.
Shelley rolled her eyes, brattiness in her every move. “I told you, I won’t go anywhere. I’ll sit and watch Kitten. Even though it’s weird. She’s still tied up. Chase is hauling her around like a piece of luggage. He sets her at his feet wherever he goes, and every now and then, he’ll take the ball gag out of her mouth and pass her some Skittles. But like I should talk. I spent most of the day with ginger up my rectum.”
“Poor baby,” Wolf said, and then his voice got hard. “Are you going to take out my plug again?”
“No.” The word was sweet, but those lips told a different tale. They were bratty and pouty.
“You’re going to kill me, baby. Now, mind Leo. I’ll be back, and I’ll bring you some food. We’re all going to need some energy for later. Well, me and Leo will. You’ll just have to lie there and maybe whimper some. I’m totally looking forward to it.” Wolf got all the way to the door before looking back. “You okay with watching her? I don’t want to disrupt any, like, patient stuff you have.”
“My patient list is growing smaller by the day,” Leo admitted. “Your friend has decided to leave my care.”
Wolf’s face fell. “Damn it. He’s wrong. Whatever he’s thinking, he’s wrong. I know he thinks he’s better, but it’s right there under the surface.”
An idea played on the edges of his brain. He needed to draw Logan out. He’d read his file a million times. He thought he was fine having left Bliss? How would he handle being confronted by his fears? “I’ll try, Wolf.”
It surprised Leo that he was going to try for more reasons than simple professional pride. He would try because Wolf wanted him to. He would try because he wanted to help Wolf’s friend.
“Thanks,” Wolf said, and then a slow smile crossed his face. “So, take care of our girl. And if you can think of a way to occupy her time, you should go for it. She’s been quite good since the incident. Be back in an hour or so.”
The door closed, and he was left alone with the only woman he’d ever really loved. And his brother had given him permission to fuck her. Damn him.
She stood up. “Look, Wolf is paranoid. I’m fine. I’ll go up to the condo and wait for him there. You don’t need to babysit me.”
“Sit down.”
Apparently he’d put enough force into his voice that she obeyed.
“Do you believe me to be easier to deal with than my brother? What have you been smoking?” Wolf was practically a teddy bear compared to him. At least when it came to being a hard-ass with a sub.
“I believe you to be busy. Busy enough that you don’t need some chick hanging out in your office.”
“It’s Saturday. Despite the earlier chaos, I really didn’t have many plans.” He’d planned to watch some football with Ben and Chase before the evening’s play. He’d planned to walk his new charge through a few scenes. He hadn’t planned to spend the whole day thinking about Shelley McNamara.
Hell, he hadn’t planned it, but he would have done it anyway. And now he had her all alone for an hour.
“Tell me why you married Bryce.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
He sat back, trying to look like the pro he was, but there was nothing professional about his curiosity. “Tell me about your marriage. I never asked before. I’d like to know now.”
She sat up, her hands in her lap. “Why?”
One question. One minefield. He could shrug and reply that he was curious. Or he could be as honest with her as he wanted her to be with him. “Because I’ve asked myself the question every day since the day I found out you were married. Because there’s a hole inside me that I can’t fill until I understand.”
Shelley was silent for a moment, but then began to speak, her voice steady but quiet. “My mother worked for him. Briefly, but long enough. After Trev moved out, we had to sell the ranch, but the market was bad, and the ranch hadn’t paid in a long time. We’d taken out a second mortgage a couple of years before my father died.” She turned toward the window. Her hands fisted, her voice shaking a bit.
He couldn’t take it. He got out of his chair and sat down beside her. He pulled her into his lap. She was stiff for a moment, but then she sighed, and her body sagged into his.
He felt the deep connection immediately, his own body relaxing. This was where he wanted to be. “It’s okay. Please tell me the story.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Bryce came into town a few years after I finished college. We had money then. Trev would send us some. It would be huge checks when he was sober enough to think about it. But we still had bills. Mom had fought off cancer while I was in school. She seemed healthy, and she got the job as Bryce’s office manager. He asked me out a few times, but I sa
id no. I was going to move to Houston. I had a friend there, and we were going to set up an interior design business. I didn’t want to get involved with any man.”
He felt his stomach turn. This wasn’t going to go well. He knew for a fact that once she’d returned to Deer Run, she hadn’t left it again until she’d moved to Dallas. “Why didn’t you go?”
She sniffled. “You have to promise me you won’t ever tell Trev. I told him this was all my fault. I didn’t want him to feel guilty about it so I lied. Trev has enough guilt and Mom is gone now, so it seemed the kindest thing to do.”
Trev’s guilt could fill a lake. He could understand why she would protect her brother. “I won’t ever say a word, sweetheart.”
She nodded and continued her story. “My mom was accused of stealing some money. Quite a bit, actually. She was going to be fired and prosecuted. Bryce gave me one way out.”
God, if Bryce Hughes had been standing in front of him, Leo would have choked the life out of him. “You have to know that Trev could have hired a lawyer.”
“Did I? I could barely get him on the phone at that point in time. He was so far gone. He’d stopped sending money. He needed it for drugs and those parties he would throw. You can’t ever tell him this story. Let him think I was a wide-eyed idiot. He can’t know. It would kill him.”
She sounded panicked. He forced her head back down on his shoulder. He stroked her hair until she calmed down. “There’s no need to tell Trev anything. It would only hurt him at this point.”
She’d tried to protect her mother. She was still protecting Trev. His heart hurt. No one had protected her. Not even him. Jack had been right. If he’d been the man he claimed to be, he wouldn’t have left. He would have watched over her from afar if he needed to.
“I married Bryce. I think he thought having a connection to Trev would help him. At the time, I thought he wanted to be able to put Trev’s face on his billboards, but now I think he believed that Trev could help him make connections so he could become, I don’t know, drug dealer to the stars or something. You can imagine that he was upset when Trev walked away from football. But even though he was mad about Trev, Bryce was okay with me. In the beginning I actually thought it might work out. He seemed to genuinely care about me. He helped me set up my business. He helped get me clients. He told everyone how smart and talented I was. Of course, he had his reasons for doing that.”