by J. M. Madden
She stared at him dumbly for a moment, then her eyes slid down his muscular shape of their own volition. “You’re volunteering to be my grunt?” she asked, incredulous. “And driver?”
His golden eyes twinkled. “Well, I suppose I am.”
“What’s it going to cost me?” she asked suspiciously.
“Breakfast,” he said immediately. “Don’t care where, just soon.”
Laughing, she hoisted her purse higher on her shoulder. “Done,” she agreed, and they walked down the hallway together.
Raine had to wonder what the heck she was doing because Noah was so incredibly intense. He was probably one of the most intense men she’d ever met. So why was she going to breakfast with him? Maybe because she’d seen a flash of insecurity in his expression when he’d offered? And humor? Yesterday she’d seen brooding and angry. The humor was intriguing.
It was a little awkward riding down the elevator with him to the parking garage. They had seen each other a couple of times in the building, but yesterday had been their first interaction of any length, so it seemed a little odd to be getting into a vehicle with him. He was barely more than a stranger. Anxiety churned in her stomach.
With her mother’s remonstrations about being safe chanting in her head, she drew out her phone. She typed off a quick message to Paul to let him know what she was doing. He had probably just started his shift so he may not see it for a bit, but at least she was covered in case Noah turned out to be a serial killer or something. Glancing into the back as surreptitiously as she could she looked for anything out of the ordinary.
“I keep the ropes and duct tape in the very back,” he murmured as he hit a button overhead to let them out of the garage.
Her mouth dropped open at his words and the bottom fell out of her stomach. Then she looked at him and saw the glint of humor in his golden eyes. Without thought she reached out and punched him in the shoulder. He winced a little, then grinned.
“You’re bad,” she groused. “Why would you scare me like that?”
“What?” he grinned. “Ropes for the tree. I thought that was why you needed the SUV.”
Raine stared at him, wondering if she’d completely misread the situation. No, she hadn’t. She glared and he laughed again, holding up a hand. “Okay, I might be teasing you a little. I could almost see all the warnings you’ve ever received in your life marching across your face. ‘What’s that pretty little woman doing with the big, black dude. He has to be kidnapping her…’”
He snorted derisively, shaking his head.
“You have no idea how close you are,” she laughed, a little uncomfortably. “Where I was brought up, people of any color were few and far between and not looked upon without suspicion, if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I thought so.”
“College opened my eyes a lot, though. As well as dealing with my patients. We’re all the same,” she said simply. “Your blood is as red as mine.”
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. “You are very right.”
“And my worry about being kidnapped is not color specific. My mother warned me to stay away from men in general, especially handsome men.”
She snapped her mouth shut, praying he hadn’t caught that bit, but of course he did.
“Handsome, hm?”
Closing her mouth, she snapped her head to the side to look out the window, and he let it pass. Then she realized she was supposed to be getting him breakfast. “Oh, and whatever you want to pick for breakfast is fine with me. I haven’t explored enough to know what’s good around here.”
“I have a place,” he told her, hanging a right and rolling through a couple of alleys.
They parked in a small lot behind an old brick building. Raine had no idea how he managed to get the SUV into the awkward spot, but he did. Then, before she could get her stuff gathered, he was around the car and opening her door. Raine looked into his eyes, level with hers for the first time, and a shiver worked its way down her spine. Not for the first time she wondered how much trouble she was in.
Raine ate her breakfast like a champion and didn’t natter on like a lot of women did. She smiled at the waitress and had faultless manners, until it came to paying for the bill. At some point, probably when she’d gone to the bathroom, she’d worked out the check with the waitress before he could even get it.
Noah wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Not that she paid the check but that she went behind his back to do it.
“Don’t be aggravated,” she said with a smile. “You’re doing me a favor and I knew you wouldn’t let me pay you back.”
Yeah, she was probably right. “Okay, you got this round. Next one’s on me.”
Her lips spread in a broad smile and he had to look down at his plate. The woman was a knockout and it was hard to remember they were coworkers.
“Let’s go get this Christmas craziness.”
She laughed huskily. “Oh, you have no idea.”
Noah took her a few miles out of the city center and to a suburban shopping area known for its trendy growth. It wasn’t an area he preferred but there were several stores for her to pick from. The first thing she picked was a large tree, already pre-lit. Supposedly you could plug the damn thing in and it was ready to go. Then she started buying lights—boxes upon boxes of lights—and other knickknacks.
Noah was fascinated. They’d had holiday get togethers when he was a kid and he had a damn big family, but Raine took it to a whole new level. As she looked at the displays, she was like a kid in a candy store, trying to decide which one to eat first. Noah just kind of stood back and watched. The absolute joy on her face made her even more beautiful.
When she caught him watching her, she ducked her head. “I know it seems crazy but I’m a little giddy. I knew I was going to have to work over the holiday and that I wasn’t going to be able to go home,” her eyes softened. “I didn’t think I was going to have anything more than the lights in my bedroom closet.” She laughed at his confused look and shrugged. “The only Christmas I’m going to have will be at the Elton Recovery Building with my patients. At some point I’ll go home but with staffing the way it is it might be a while.”
“That’s very true,” he said. He doubted he would be going home either. “You do what makes you happy, Raine. I’m enjoying watching you.”
She grinned and danced away, right into the arms of an inflatable abominable snow man. Noah tensed, thinking she was going to go sprawling, but she kept her feet and played it off like she’d meant to dance the cha-cha with the beast. Her hair was drawn back into a long French braid and it flew through the air as she played.
For the first time in a long time he found himself laughing, sharing in her joy.
Raine tried to be controlled and only buy what she thought they absolutely needed, but there was so much to choose from. And it was all so pretty. Dr. Cole trusted her with company money, though, so she stocked her cart, then culled out what was not specifically needed. The room was big but she finally felt like she had a good selection, and several different things to represent other countries. Well, a few things got added on because she loved them personally. Those she paid for with her own money. They were going into her apartment.
Noah followed along like a patient husband, occasionally weighing in on the really difficult decisions, like colored lights over white lights, and the like. And he’d traveled way more than she had so he had some insight into the men’s cultural habits. Mr. Dart was Ukrainian so they found paper snowflakes and though she looked for spiders in webs, she couldn’t find them. Raine had to scratch her head at that one, but Noah swore it was appropriate. Bosch was French, then there were two men from Germany, so she made sure to buy several advent calendars, even though they would be started late. One man was from the Czech Republic so she found a paper golden pig to go on the wall. Two were from countries in Africa that didn’t have as many commercial traditions. Singing and dancing seemed to be what they did for Christmas. Thr
ee other men were from the States, so they would understand everything else. This was going to be a celebration to span the world.
They got back to the Elton building a couple of hours later. World Market had been their final stop and it seemed to have capped off their list. They found a Christmas spider in a web, something for Mr. Dart, and an array of pickle ornaments for the German residents. She still didn’t get that one, but they had them. It would take her a while to sort everything out and decide how she wanted to arrange it. Maybe she could go to the individual men and request their help. Several of them wouldn’t respond, she knew, but she would try.
Noah hauled the Christmas tree box into the room, giant box over one bulging shoulder. The man made it look easy because he was so big. It was not something she could have done herself.
“I want to thank you for everything,” she said when he stood back to look at the stack of bagged supplies. “You didn’t have to help me.”
He glanced down at her. “I enjoyed it,” he told her finally. “And I’ll be happy to see the finished product.”
Raine glanced at the bags on the tables. “Give me a day to get this stuff sorted and I’ll really have something to show you.”
She gave him a wink and he stared at her, and slight smile on his lips. Raine had been under his scrutiny most of the day. It didn’t make her shift uncomfortably anymore, but it did send a surge of awareness through her. There could be something between them if they gave it a chance but neither of them was ready for more, she didn’t think. It was nice to have a friend she could rely on. She had a feeling she would be seeing more of Noah Cross.
As if he sensed they needed a break, he tipped his head at her. “You have a day. Then I have to see this fabulousness.”
Raine grinned. “It will be. Thank you, Noah.”
“You’re welcome, Raine.”
She watched as he left the room, his back broad and his step firm. Not for the first time she noticed how quietly, dangerously, he moved.
“I would think about swinging for the other team for that guy,” Paul told her contemplatively as he entered the room.
Raine blushed at the image that brought to mind. “You are so bad,” she laughed.
Paul grinned and glanced around at her haul. “Just a warning- you only have one week till Christmas.”
Raine snorted. “I’ll have this whipped into shape by tomorrow.”
“Yeah, right. Thought I’d let you know Haven ate most of his breakfast today.”
Her brows lifted. “Really? That’s good to know. Maybe I’ll stop in later.”
Raine worked on the holiday room for several hours, only taking a break to run upstairs and eat something for a very late lunch. Then she headed back downstairs. This was a task she really enjoyed. Along the way she stopped at each room and went in to talk to her patients, inviting them down to the rec room to take part in the decorating. Only one of the Africans seemed interested, though not enough to actually come down right that second.
Making Haven’s room her last stop, she knocked on the door but didn’t receive a response, not that he normally responded. When she walked in the room, though, it was to find him sitting up on the edge of the bed, staring out the window at the lightly falling snow.
“Haven?”
He looked at her, though it took him a minute. “Nurse Raine.”
She grinned, tilting her head. “Yes, I’m Nurse Raine. How are you doing today?”
He blinked slowly. “I’m okay right this minute. How long have I been on this floor?” he asked, glancing around the room.
“Several weeks,” she said slowly, pulling a chair close. “Mind if I sit with you?”
He made a motion with his hand. “Please. I don’t… I’m not sure how long this is going to last. I’m almost afraid to ask where I am.”
Yes, if she said the wrong thing it might slam him into a psychotic episode. “You are in a place that is caring for you. I am caring for you, although it’s my day off today. I live upstairs but today I’m down here decorating the recreation room for Christmas.”
“Am I the only one here?”
“No, there are several men on this floor although you are the only one in this hallway. We’ve found that some of your…manifestations, are difficult for the other patients.”
“Patients?” he asked.
Hm. Maybe she should have said residents. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his chocolate brown eyes incredibly sad. “I don’t realize it when it happens.”
Daring to reach forward she rested a hand on his curled fist. “We all know that, Haven. And we don’t blame you for anything. You’ve been through something terrible and your brain is dealing with it the only way it knows how.”
“I’m not even sure this is real,” he said, his hand turning to hold hers. His eyes welled with tears and he narrowed his eyes to try to force them away. “It’s all jumbled up in my mind.”
“I know,” she said softly, wanting to pull him into her arms but forcing herself to maintain distance. “I want to tell you I am your friend and I promise you this moment is real.”
He turned her hand in his and ran his finger over the faint lines on her palm, then he looked around the room, focusing on details. “I’ve been here weeks, you said?”
She nodded. “You were moved up here from the medical floor a few weeks ago, when they took you off the feeding tube. You’ve been in the actual building several months. Can I have Paul bring you a Coke? They delivered some to the kitchen today.”
He focused on her face. “I remember talking to you about that.”
“Yes, just last night.”
“I don’t think I want one right now. Maybe later.”
He continued looking at the items around him, as if reacquainting himself with the space. “I feel like I’ve just woken from a long nightmare,” he said softly.
Her heart broke for him because she would probably feel the same way. In the weeks she’d been here she’d only actually talked to him a couple of times, and certainly not this length of time. “Well, in a way it has been. Your mind is very strong and I think it’s done a very good job of protecting itself. Now that you’re in a safe place, I think it’s allowing some real life to get through.”
He didn’t say anything to that, just continued to hold her hand. Eventually, he looked her in the eye. “I think I’m going to sleep for a while now. Thank you for sitting with me.”
He let go of her hand reluctantly and laid back on his bed, pulling his knees to his chest.
“Would you like a cover?” she asked, unable to help herself.
“No, thank you,” he said, closing his eyes.
Raine left the room and headed back down the hallway to the rec room to continue her work. Paula, one of the night nurses, waved as she hustled past. “Room’s looking great,” she called.
Stopping at the nurse station Raine typed out a short message to Dr. Cole. Elizabeth, she corrected herself internally. The doctor would be interested in the progress Haven had made, because he’d been so unapproachable for so long. Once done she headed back down to the rec room.
Raine worked into the night, hanging lights and tinsel and garland until her shoulders ached. Spotify played on her cell phone until the battery went dead and she had to call it a night. Back aching and fingers sore she headed up to her apartment and fell into bed, her heart happier than it had been for a long time.
The next morning Raine got up and showered, excited to tackle the room and get it done. And once she was done, she sat in one of the chairs and just basked in the beauty. The harsh, white-walled, bland recreation room had been transformed into a holiday wonderland. The white on the walls had come in handy for that, at least.
With help from package after package of 3M removable hooks, she covered the hideous walls with lights and cutout snowflakes, a nod to Mr. Dart’s Ukrainian home. A golden pig cutout trotted on one wall for their Czech resident and there were several advent calendars on the
tables. Several of the countries celebrated advent but she couldn’t do anything about that because she’d started so late. They would just have to make do and be flexible.
There were pickle ornaments on the tree and even on the second miniature tree at the doorway, although it was only in the wee hours of the morning that she realized that Germans had no idea about the Christmas Pickle. It was more of an American tradition than German. She would have to talk to Noah about that when she saw him next, but she left them alone because it was funny.
Paul gave an appreciative whistle as he walked into the room. “Damn, girl! I don’t even recognize the place!”
Raine beamed. That was exactly what she’d been going for. “Thank you! I think I want to move in here, actually.”
Paul turned slowly, taking in every decorated corner. “Good Lord, woman. You weren’t joking, were you?”
Raine didn’t think that needed a response, so she stayed quiet.
Throughout the day staff and residents from other floors stopped in to marvel at the spectacle. Raine had extra decorations so that anyone that wanted some could take them. Several people left with bags swinging from their hands.
In the afternoon, Elizabeth arrived. Her eyes lit up with joy as she walked into the room and she looked at Raine appreciatively. “We forget,” she said thoughtfully, “in the heat of the emergency that the world is continuing to turn outside. We have a bubble in this building where many lives have paused as we try to gather the pieces left to us. Thank you for reminding us, Raine.”
Raine took the hug the doctor offered and squeezed hard. “I’m so glad you love it!”
“I need to bring my son Blake by. This looks as good as any of the department store displays. Better. Money well spent.”
Once the excitement died down a little, she realized that Noah was wandering his way around the room, looking at everything she’d done. He stopped at a small nativity scene on the far side of the room. As she stopped beside him, he glanced at her. “My grandmother used to have one just like this. She would put it out every year and we always swapped out the baby Jesus with other things. He was a Twinkie one year, and a stuffed bear another year. We changed it all the time and Noni would get aggravated at us but never mad. Thank you for the reminder.”