by Megg Jensen
The orb came to a full stop, sending Torsten staggering into Rutger. Archer's body floated up away from them as if it had known they were about to stop. And perhaps it had, though it would have been nice if Denestra had given all of them warning.
Rutger helped Torsten back on his feet, steadying him with a strong hand.
"Thanks," Torsten said.
"Anytime," Rutger said. "Besides, Malia was the one who caught both of us."
Malia stood. "Glad I was here to catch you boys."
Leila stood off to the side, her hands in her pockets.
"Quiet, meatbags!" Denestra hissed. Its eyes closed, but its mouth continued to move, though no sound came from it. Its hands waved in the air, and its body began to sway.
"Is it dancing?" Rutger asked. "That is really creepy."
Denestra floated around them, hands and legs moving in patterns only it understood. Torsten ducked once as it came dangerously close to his head. Then it darted upward, passing between the bodies and the other tark.
"I don't know what it’s doing, but I wish it would stop." Leila shivered as she inched closer to Torsten.
Denestra floated back down to them. "Look now."
Torsten turned toward the hidden dragzhi ship to find it had materialized fully. The shiny silver bulkhead pointed at them, weapons ports open.
"It's going to fire," Malia said. Her hands rested on her shotgun, as if that would help them.
"No, it's not," Denestra said. "They’re showing us they could fire, but they won't. It shows strength and restraint."
"Two qualities I didn't know the dragzhi possessed." Torsten didn't bother to hold back his contempt for the species. Not only had they relentlessly attacked the humans, but they'd lied to him, telling him Rell was dead when she wasn't. He would give the benefit of the doubt to Rell's father, but not the rest of them. Never again.
"Quiet yourself, human," Denestra said. "We need information from them. If you behave like a child, they will kill you. If you want to help us save Rell, then you will do as I say."
Torsten nodded, tamping down the anger building in his chest. He wished Rell was on that ship, and that he would get the chance to kill every dragzhi who stood between them.
"They said we may board," Denestra said.
"Is that wise?" Leila asked. "What if they try to kill us?"
Denestra smiled, its pointed teeth sparkling in the light of the orb. "They won't. The dragzhi are afraid of the tark!"
"Then why didn't the dragzhi hesitate to attack Phoenix?" Rutger asked. "They had no problem laying waste to our city and tower. If they are so afraid of you, then why did they risk it?"
Denestra floated closer to Rutger until their noses were almost touching. "Because the dragzhi know we do not care for human life." It turned on them and returned to controlling the orb, bringing them closer to the dragzhi ship until a docking bay swallowed them.
24
Blood spread between Rell’s fingers and down her wrist as she rocked Joshua back and forth. "I'm so sorry," she told him, desperate for him to hear it before he died. She would have blood on her hands again. More lives lost simply because she existed.
"I saved you." The words bubbled in his throat. Blood spurted from the sides of his mouth as he tried to speak again.
"Shh," Rell said. "Someone will be here to help you soon. You'll be okay." She knew it wasn't true. She remembered Markel, her mother's partner. He died for Rell, too, jumping in front of a bullet meant for her heart. Then, as now, Rell could see the future. Joshua wouldn't make it. There wasn't anything that could heal a direct shot to the heart.
"Help us!" Rell screamed again. Her eye caught on Cordan, slumped on the floor in the hall. Was he dead, too? Could a cyborg die?
Loud footsteps echoed in the hall, coming closer with each footfall. Rell panicked for a moment. What if instead of help, it was the killer returning to finish the job? Maybe her cries for help had only escorted death directly to her door.
If so, Rell would face death with dignity. She straightened her shoulders, her head held high as she watched the doorway.
"Cordan!" a familiar voice called. Dr. Anderson. She ran into the room, then stepped back in horror as her hand flew to her mouth. "What happened?"
"Someone shot Joshua. I'm sure it was meant for me. You need to help him." Rell pushed harder on the wound, not willing to give up if there was a small chance to save him.
"Of course." Dr. Anderson fumbled in her pocket, pulling out a communicator. "I need help in Sector E. Security and medical personnel immediately." She shoved the device in her pocket and knelt next to Rell.
"Let me, please." Dr. Anderson slipped her hand under Rell's, holding Joshua's wound.
Rell hesitated, leaving her hand in place.
"Rell, I'm a doctor. Let me do this," Dr. Anderson said.
She lifted her hand slowly, still in shock.
"Wash your hands. Quickly. Then come back and assist me," Dr. Anderson ordered.
Rell jumped to her feet and ran into the bathroom. Pumping a liberal amount of soap into her hands, Rell rubbed them together, watching the blood fill the sink. When she'd gotten everything but the bits under her nails, she wiped her hands, leaving pink streaks on the white towel. Rell rushed back into the room to find Dr. Anderson's hands were no longer on the wound. She sat on her knees next to Joshua's body.
"What are you doing?" Rell asked, almost hysterical. "You're supposed to be helping him."
"He's gone," Dr. Anderson said quietly. "There was nothing more I could do."
"He was still breathing!" Rell screamed. "He was alive a few seconds ago. He couldn't have died this fast. It's not possible!" Her heart leaped in her chest, her breaths coming in short, ragged bursts.
"He's gone." Dr. Anderson stood, then walked into the bathroom without another word.
Rell heard the water start up, and she could have sworn the doctor was humming a small tune under her breath while she washed her hands.
Rell sank to the floor next to Joshua, laying a hand on his still chest. She gently closed his eyelids with her fingertips, then kissed him on the cheek. Dr. Anderson had told the truth. Joshua was gone.
With a heavy heart, Rell stood and walked out the door. Cordan was sitting, his back against the wall.
"Are you okay?" Rell asked him.
Cordan looked at her, his eyes blank. "Of course, I am fine. A simple malfunction. Nothing to worry about." He stood, then snapped to attention.
"Cordan?" Rell asked, feeling uneasy at his lack of emotion.
"Yes, Rell? How can I assist you? Do you require guidance to the mess hall?" Cordan looked at her, his eyes cold.
"No, thank you," she mumbled. Rell went back into her room.
"I'm so sorry you had to experience that," Dr. Anderson said as she returned to the room, wiping her hands with a towel. "Joshua suffered from a pulmonary embolism."
"Excuse me?" Rell said. "He was shot."
Dr. Anderson shook her head. "No, dear, he had a severe clotting disorder. We had been treating Joshua with medication to dissolve the clotting in his blood. His heart couldn't cooperate, and it exploded."
Rell looked down at Joshua, who lay in peace on the floor of her room, blood spattered all around him. "I don't understand. I have seen people die of heart disease. I've never seen someone's heart explode out of their chest. Besides, I heard the gunshot and footsteps running away."
Dr. Anderson tilted her head, giving Rell a sympathetic smile. "Sometimes, if a person has never been to space, their bodies can't handle the change in pressure. We do everything we can to keep the ship at levels that support most life. Joshua wasn't well-suited to life here. We had considered taking him back to Phoenix, but..." Dr. Anderson looked out the window at a piece of space rock floating past. She quickly turned back to Rell. "I am so sorry. I know he was your friend."
Rell bit her lip. Dr. Anderson's explanations made no sense. Rell knew she'd heard the gunshot, and Joshua had told her he was comin
g to protect her. Because he'd had a dream about it. Had he known he was going to die, too? She shuddered at the thought.
Wade had told her the Earth United people were going to do everything to make Rell think she could trust them.
"I can see you don't believe me. Come here." Dr. Anderson waved Rell to Joshua's side. She knelt next to him, pointing at the wound. "Do you see how the skin exploded outward? If Joshua had been shot, his skin would be pushed inward at the edge of the wound. His body couldn't handle the pressure of our ship."
Rell stumbled backward. She saw exactly what Dr. Anderson meant. Had her paranoia gotten to a place where she couldn't think clearly, too? Rell glanced at Cordan again. He stood still outside her door like a toy soldier. Had she dreamed the interaction with Wade? Had her heart longed so much for Torsten that she imagined all of it?
"Is my body...?” Rell couldn't ask it. If her body was healthy enough to withstand the ship.
"Yes. You have adapted nicely." Dr. Anderson stood and placed a hand on Rell's arm. "You had a full workup, remember? We would have told you if something was wrong. It's very important to take the proper medication to help the body adjust. Joshua may have been lax on taking his. I'm so sorry. You've had a very rough go of it lately."
Rell took a deep breath and sat on her bed. She closed her eyes, resting her face in her hands. A knock at the door drew her attention. Through blurry eyes, she watched medical staff lift Joshua onto a stretcher, place a long sheet over his body, and remove him from her room.
"I don't want to leave you alone, and I know you haven't had time to make other friends here yet. Do you mind if I sit with you? If you want to be silent, that's fine. If you want to talk, that's fine, too." Dr. Anderson hovered next to Rell's bed.
"Stay," Rell said, gesturing at a chair.
Dr. Anderson took a seat and crossed her legs at the ankle. She frowned slightly. "I can give you something to help you relax. Would you like that?"
Rell nodded. Dr. Anderson reached into her bag and pulled out a needle. She inserted it in Rell's arm, pushing the plunger down. The medicine was cool as it entered Rell's veins, quickly circulating through her arms and all the way down into her toes.
Rell lay on her bed, then rolled over, ignoring the doctor. She wasn't sure what to make of any of it. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing at all.
25
Rell sat up, startled by the sound of her doorbell. The light in her room was dim, and a blanket lightly covered her from the waist down. "Who is it?" she asked, shivering in her light clothes. She'd had a dream, no a nightmare, that Joshua had died in her room.
"It's Dr. Anderson."
Rell glanced at the floor. A blood stain glared back at her.
"Come in."
The door opened quietly, and Dr. Anderson stepped over the threshold. "Is it okay if I turn up the lights?" She raised the lights just enough for Rell to notice how dark the blood stain had become. It was no longer the fresh blood of injury, but the stark mark of death.
"How are you feeling? Were you able to sleep?" Dr. Anderson asked.
Rell stretched her arms over her head. "I think so. I had some bizarre dreams."
"Want to talk about them?"
"No. It's not that I don't want to. I can't quite recall them." Rell shrugged. "It's okay. I'd rather deal with what happened here." Her first instinct was to ask how Joshua was, but she already knew the answer. He was gone. Rell still wasn't convinced by Dr. Anderson's explanation that he'd died of a severe medical condition. She'd never heard of someone's heart exploding out of their chest. It seemed off, like so many other things in this place.
"I think you'll feel better if you unburden yourself. You carry so much guilt." Dr. Anderson smiled. "Not everything bad that happens is your fault."
Rell rubbed her forehead. "I know. It's hard seeing so many people around me die. I feel like I could have changed things. Saved them. If I had only—”
Dr. Anderson raised a hand in the air. "Stop. We can't change the past. All we can do is learn from it. Why don't we start with your childhood? I have a feeling most of your angst stems from that. Can you tell me what happened to your father? Your connection to him is so strong, as evidenced by the ancestor coupler. If we explore that, you might be able to resolve some of your guilt."
Dr. Anderson sat back in the chair, her hands folded in her lap.
Rell thought of her father, and her heart filled with regret. His death had changed her life. She'd murdered the man she loved most. It was an accident, but that never mattered. It was her fault.
With a deep, shuddering breath, Rell began, "My father promised to show me the stars one night. We lived in underground tunnels with our religious sect."
"What did you worship?"
"The Menelewen Dored, a race of mystical beings our ancestors learned about not long after they crashed on Phoenix. It didn't take long for people to find solace in these new gods. They'd felt their gods of Earth had betrayed them when rescue never came." Rell strained, trying to remember the stories as they'd been told to her. Though the truth had turned out to be quite different, she wasn't ready to share that with the doctor.
Dr. Anderson nodded. "Go on."
"Our people remained underground for the most part. We shunned the lives people led aboveground. Our way was austere. Simple. Holy. Their way was shameful and anathema. We felt like we were better than them..." Rell cringed. She had believed that for most of her life. It wasn't until recently, when she'd gotten to know Torsten, that she'd changed her mind about the grounders. They were all human, good and bad.
She stood and began pacing the room. "My father had told me stories of the stars, and I didn't believe him. I always thought he was making up stories. I tried asking my mother once, but she refused to answer my questions. She said I was irreverent, which was something I never wanted to be. Still... I begged my father to show me the stars. If I could see for myself that they weren't real, then I would give up all of my thoughts about them.
"One night, he came to my room and said it was the perfect time to see the stars, and much more. I was so excited, crawling into his arms. He carried me through the tunnels, down pathways I'd never been, which was more exciting than the thought of seeing the stars. You see, I thought I'd explored all of the tunnels. My father showed me how little I knew that night.
"When we emerged from underground, the first thing I saw was water falling from the sky. I was afraid and hid my face in his shoulder. My father laughed, explaining that the water was called rain, and it fed the underground springs that gave us our drinking water. I decided to be brave and looked at it again. It was beautiful."
Rell stopped at the window, resting her fingers against the glass.
"It was then I looked up at the vast, dark sky. For a moment, I felt as if I was being pulled away from Phoenix and into the stars. I clung so tightly to my father's neck that he coughed until I loosened up."
Tears welled at the corners of Rell's eyes. It was a moment she'd relived over and over again since his death. She'd never felt closer to her father than in that moment. He'd given her the stars.
"Then what?" Dr. Anderson asked.
Rell started, almost having forgotten the doctor was in the room with her. She turned and looked at the woman. This was a part of the story she'd told no one. Not even Torsten. It was the part she'd tried to forget all those years.
What happened between seeing the stars and her father's death was Rell's most closely held secret. She wouldn't tell the doctor, or anyone, about it. Not ever. She'd promised her father she would never tell the secret he'd shared with only her. She'd pushed it aside for so long, she barely connected it with the story.
"We went back underground before anyone realized we were gone. A guard found us. I got angry, and my father caught fire. He died from the burns." Rell wrapped the story up quickly, refusing to relive any more of it.
"You have to know the fire wasn't your fault. You were just a child," Dr. Anderson said.
> "The fire was my fault." Rell had come to terms with it long ago, though she didn't like it. The guilt would never be washed away, no matter how anyone tried to spin the situation. Facts were facts.
Her father had shared the greatest secret of all with her, and then she'd killed him.
She'd killed him.
Murdered him.
Rell's throat closed, and she gasped for air with a sudden realization.
It wasn't an accident. The fire was meant for him.
The secret he'd told her.
He deserved to die.
No, not her father! She loved him!
He had to die.
Rell collapsed on the floor, her chest burning.
"Tell me." Dr. Anderson knelt next to Rell, her hand rubbing a circle on Rell's back. "I can't help you unless you tell me."
"No," Rell croaked. She had killed him on purpose. She murdered him. The mind of the child she'd been couldn't bear such a secret. As an adult, she understood now what he'd been trying to tell her. But then, she wasn't ready. She couldn't understand. The power the Menelewen Dored held over her had been too great.
"Tell me."
Rell sat up, her eyes burning with tears. "No." She jumped to her feet and burst out the door, running.
26
"I don't see how boarding a dragzhi ship will help us find Rell unless she's actually on it. Otherwise, I feel like we're putting ourselves in unnecessary danger." A sheen of sweat covered Torsten's face and neck.
"Of course, you don't, foolish human." Denestra waved its arms, and the door to the orb opened. The doll-like creature floated out, then turned around. "Come with me."
Torsten hesitated.
"Now!"
Leila pushed past her brother, leading the way. Reluctantly, Torsten followed. Silver liquid dropped from the ceiling of the docking bay, forming thousands of amorphous figures on the floor.