"And now I'm going to die too. Because of you. Thank you very much." I add drily, but I'm brave enough to note the irony of me coming closer and holding on to him.
He knows how to swim.
Yes, indeed. That's the only reason I'm clinging on to him, my hands wrapped around his neck, my face inches away from his.
I raise my eyes to see him watching me intently.
"I guess you're meant to die in the sea, little tigress."
"Will you stop calling me that?" I grit my teeth, and I'm amazed at his ability to annoy me even when my body is slowly shutting down.
"Indeed. I should call you little sea lion now, right?" He smirks down at me, and I close my eyes, defeated.
"I'm sorry," he finally says, and his hand comes up to my face, fitting his palm to my cheek. My teeth are already clattering, and he's not far behind me.
"You know we're going to die here, don't you?" I ask him, my tone serious this time. He nods, his expression closed off.
"Let's call a truce, shall we? Let's not die as enemies," he strokes my hair, his face suddenly tender.
"But that's all we are, isn't it? We've been at each other's throats for hours now."
"Is that all we have to be?" His thumb circles across my cheek and over my shriveled skin.
"Fine." I release a breath. "I can pretend... for a while." The ghost of a smile appears on his face, and it triggers a smile from me too.
Here we are, in the middle of nowhere, and surrounded by the vast sea. Maybe we can pretend, now, right before death, that we are something more.
"What's something you've always wanted?" I say suddenly.
"Me?"
I nod.
"I've never thought about that. I've always had everything I wanted," he states with a frown.
"Everything?" I raise an eyebrow.
He's pensive for a moment before answering.
"Someone to trust."
"You've never trusted anyone in your life?" My tone betrays the disbelief I feel at his statement.
Even with my parents and my isolation, I'd still had Lia, and she's had my confidence since the beginning. I can't imagine not having anyone to trust.
He shakes his head, a rueful smile on his lips.
"All the riches in the world don't give us what we crave the most."
"And what is that?"
"Your turn now," He deflects, and I pout, put off he didn't answer. "What's something you've always wanted, little tigress?" his hand is still on my face, and using his thumb he tips my head up so I'm looking into his eyes.
"Freedom," I simply state, and his pupils seem to grow bigger.
"Freedom..." Enzo repeats. "And what would you do with freedom?"
"Be whoever I want... eat whatever I want, dress however I want, marry whoever I want," the words spill from my lips, and wetness accumulates in my eyes.
There's enough water around, I don't need to add more.
But I can't help myself. Not when I realize I'll never be able to do any of the things I'd dreamed about. If they had seemed inconceivable from my gilded cage, they are now impossible — death the only outcome.
"Shh, don't cry," he wipes a tear from my eye, slowly bring it to his lips and tasting it. My mouth opens in an o, the gesture entirely unexpected.
"There's freedom in death too, you know. In the way you leave behind all your worries," his finger continues to softly caress my cheek, "all your fears. Who knows, maybe it's not even the end."
"Do you think so?" I'd read the scripture and followed the guidance of the church because that was expected of me, but I'd also tapped into the Ancients. Maybe because of my circumstances, I'd empathized the most with Heraclitus' teachings — everything flows. For if everything changes, then I too would become something else, and escape my current condition.
"I can't claim I know," his mouth pulls up in a cheeky smile. "but I'll let you know soon."
Maybe it's because we're nearing the end, but even his bad jokes can't get on my nerves anymore.
"Heraclitus," I take a deep breath. "We are and we are not. Maybe it's not death... just change." I whisper, and the intensity in his eyes seems to swallow me whole.
The sea is restless as the waves carry us, our bodies fitted to one another, our breaths mingling in the darkness of the night.
"Change... I like that. But he also said that fire is the essence of all things, and this," he nods towards the sea, "is extinguishing our fire."
For the first time, I laugh. I throw my head back and laugh, and I hear Enzo joining me too.
"We should aim to feed the fire, lest it die," he comments, and I don't know what he could possibly mean.
I can barely feel my feet anymore. Even my arms are losing sensation. I stare at Enzo, his lips purple, his pallor pale.
We're almost out of fire.
"How?" I don't care what he says as long as it takes my mind off our impending fate. And for a moment I'm glad he's here with me — we're not alone as we stare death right in the face.
His thumb swipes across my lips, parting them.
"How about a first kiss? A direct one this time?" My eyes widen at his words, and my heart starts beating loudly in my chest.
Wait. I'm dying. It should slow down.
I shove my rational self to the side and let my spontaneous self take the reins. Because the fire bit might be absurd, but my curiosity is not.
"Ok," I say, and he seems just as surprised at my quick acquiescence. "But after this, wherever we might go," I wave with my hand towards the sky, "remember I still don't like you."
"Have it your way, little tigress. Now shut up and let me kiss you."
He cups my cheeks in his palms and brings my face closer to his. Our eyes meet, and for a second we just stare at each other, the cold, the shivering, all falling away.
I lick my lips instinctively, and his gaze lowers, zoning in on them.
I try to mentally prepare myself for this milestone, but then I feel the pleasant pressure of his lips on mine and all other thoughts leave me. I gasp and he deepens the contact, his tongue sneaking out into my mouth, his inner heat meeting mine.
Fire. We're making fire.
I hold on to him even tighter as I angle my head to give him better access to my mouth. Everywhere is freezing, but not where our bodies are touching in the most intimate way. The stroke of his tongue against mine sends shivers down my back, and this time it's not because of the ensuing hypothermia.
I give myself over to this sensation.
Who would have thought we'd fit so well? Two people who can't stand each other but are quite good at stoking the flames.
He ends the kiss, his lip still moving softly over mine.
"Maybe if we'd met under different circumstances..." he drifts off, and a light suddenly shines on us. We both squint as we look towards the source, a fishing boat coming towards us.
"What?" My mouth hangs open in shock. The boat stops by our location, and two men help us out of the water. They wrap us both in hypothermia blankets and tell us they'll get us to a hospital.
"Couldn't you have come a minute earlier?" I mutter under my breath. If I'd known I wouldn't die, no way would I have succumbed to the wiles of the devil. I sneak a glance at him and I find him smiling, his expression full of satisfaction.
Then it dawns on me.
"You knew. You saw them, didn't you? You saw them coming, that's why..." That's why he kissed me.
A rage unlike anything I've ever experienced envelops my body, making all the ice melt away.
"You!" I grit my teeth, and I have to contain my anger. I'd like nothing better than throw him overboard again, but seeing how I can barely function without the heating blanket wrapped around me, I settle for baring my teeth at him. "You deceived me."
"Did I? You were all too willing to kiss me. I must say, little tigress, you taste sweeter than I imagined." There's a smugness to him, and I wish I could wipe that stupid grin off his face.
"And you..." I
sputter, suddenly out of smart retorts. I'm having some serious brain freeze, and I don't know if it's from the cold or from his goddamn poisonous lips. "You're vile, Enzo Agosti. And I hope your lips shrivel up and die, who knows where else you've put them." I make a disgusted face as I wipe my own lips with the back of my hand.
Yes, it might have been acceptable to give my first kiss to the only person available before my death. But since I'm very much alive, and might be for many years to come, I will not forgive this slight.
"Easy, cara, you might just sound jealous." he chuckles, further fueling my inner flames.
Yes, we're making fire all right, and one of us will get burned.
Not me, of course.
WE'RE RUSHED TO THE hospital and the doctors on guard tell us we're incredibly lucky. A little longer in the chilly water and we would have gone into dangerous hypothermia territory. Since I'm smaller, my condition seems to be slightly worse than Enzo's. We both get hooked to IV's to warm up our blood, and I don't know what connections Enzo has, but we're put in a private salon.
"I almost died twice because of you," I mumble, staring down at the needle sticking in my skin. I've never had an IV before, never even been rushed to an emergency room. In that regard, you could say I'm having a lot of firsts because of Enzo, all of them unpleasant.
You liked that kiss.
Yeah, maybe I did. But only when I thought I was dying. Now I'm convinced it was nothing else but my inaccurate perception at the time.
"You're welcome." He has the gall to smirk at me, and I don't even think as I lunge for him. Taking my IV bag with me, I make a feeble attempt of punching him. He catches my fist in his palm, a cunning smile playing at his lips.
"Now, little tigress," he pulls me closer until our faces are millimeters apart, "you hit, I hit back." Our eyes meet for a second, the challenge clear. Then he pushes me back and ignores me.
I huff out loud. If he's going to pretend I don't exist, then I will do the same. It's not too long after that a nurse comes to remove our IVs and we are soon discharged.
Since I don't plan to spend another moment in his presence, I don't even look back as I leave, making it only to the entrance of the hospital before realizing my current reality.
I'm in a foreign country. With no money. And I don't speak the language.
"You're quick to get rid of me, aren't you?" I hear the voice I've come to dread coming from behind me.
I give him a fierce look, and I continue to walk. I've had enough of him to last me a lifetime.
"How do you plan on getting back home with no money?" He shouts at me, and I clench my fists in fury.
Well, whose fault is it that I don't have any money?
"As if you can help me. You don't have any money either." I turn around, crossing my arms over my chest, and raising an eyebrow at him.
We're in the same boat right now, as ironic as that might sound. And while my own helplessness is making me panic, the fact that he is facing the same troubles is as a small satisfaction.
I make to turn again when a car stops right in front of us. A man dressed in all black opens the driver's door and addresses Enzo.
"Signor Agosti," he bows to him, opening the passenger door so he can climb in. My eyes widen a little as I look at the exchange.
"What's it going to be, little tigress? Are you going to let me give you a ride to the port, or will you stubbornly try to do it yourself, which might I add, will not work?" He looks at me expectantly, an amused expression on his face.
I don't answer his taunt, instead I climb into the car next to him.
I might be petty, but even I know when to concede defeat. I need him to get to the ferry terminal, and he knows it.
The car stops when we reach the port and Enzo stuffs some money in my hand as I'm about to leave.
"For the ticket." I just nod, pocketing the money.
After all, it's the least he can do.
We look at each other for a second.
"I hope I never see you again."
"Ditto." He lifts two fingers to his forehead in a salute, and I hop off. I don't look back as I head straight for the ticketing booth.
The sound of screeching tires alerts me to his departure, and for the first time, I breathe out, relieved.
Or not.
The next ferry leaves in two hours. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. The clock in the waiting room tells me it's almost morning, and the sun is about to rise.
Lord, what am I going to do?
I'm doomed. I know it. I may not have died in the sea, but my luck will run out.
For a brief moment, I contemplate running away. What if I just don't return home?
But I can't. Not only do I not have anywhere else to go, but I know Lia will be the one to pay if I don't return. I'd rather take the punishment myself than have anything happen to her.
Sighing, I try to take my mind off it. Either my parents or Franzè are going to make sure I'm put in my place. Now, as to what that entails...
I shake my head, forcing myself to put those thoughts aside. It won't do well to dwell on the inevitable.
And then there's Enzo... that goddamn devil that proved to me why the world isn't a safe place for a girl like me. He'd sought to take advantage of me at every turn. That I got away with my virtue intact is astounding, all things considered.
There had been a moment, when he'd cut the shirt off my body, that I feared the worst. I'd acted foolishly, but I defended myself the only way I knew how — taking control over my own death.
I'm getting angrier the more I think about him and the mess he dragged me into. Better to kick him out of my head too. It's not like we're ever going to meet again.
The waiting room is an enclosed space near the docks, and I'm able to see the boats from my seat. I'm getting sleepier, but I don't trust myself to wake up in time for the ferry, so I force my eyes open.
I start watching the people come and go, and soon, an hour's already passed.
Suddenly I flinch awake and blinking twice I will my eyes to stay open.
No!
I fell asleep.
Turning towards the clock, I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that my ferry hasn't departed. I stand up and stretch, ready to go towards the docks.
Just then, four men in black suits enter the room. All of them are wearing dark sunglasses, which is odd considering the sun's not fully out yet. I shrug and make to move past them.
I'm passing by when one of them grabs my arm, thrusting me back forcefully.
"You're sure it's her?" One man asks, taking off his glasses and perusing me from head to toe.
"Yes. She was the one shooting at us." He nods at the others, and they quickly grab my hands.
I start struggling and throwing my feet around, hoping to hit them and make them let me go.
"Little bitch." A palm connects with my cheek, and I reel back, my vision swimming.
It's them... the people who were after Enzo.
"Take her. She might be of use later." He turns his back, leaving two men behind to drag me out.
"I'm calling dibs." The brute holding on to my arm says as he turns his face towards me, a grin that shows rotten teeth making me recoil in disgust.
Dear God!
A fear unlike any I've felt before settles deep in my bones.
I won't let them!
Pushing against the man holding me, I use my legs to kick at the other. Tears are running down my cheeks as I use all my remaining energy to fight. Exhaustion, hunger and sickness are all converging to hold me back, my body sapped of all strength.
One sudden movement and I'm kicked to the ground, my head bumping into a chair.
There's someone else in the room, and he's fighting against the two men, seemingly winning.
"Come, little tigress," a familiar voice helps me to my feet. I blink rapidly, trying to regain focus in my sight, and Enzo is peering down at me, his expression full of worry.
"Are you ok?" He
asks, tugging me closer to his body and letting me lean on him.
Why did he come back?
Not that I'm complaining, given that he just saved me. But why is he here?
I give a tight nod, and he purses his lips. His hand reaches out to touch my forehead lightly and I whimper in pain.
"You hit your head pretty bad," he notes, and he makes to carry me in his arms.
"I'm fine. I can walk." He seems to want to argue, but just shakes his head, taking my hand and leading me out of the waiting room.
The sun is coming up, the sky a combination of red and purple.
"Where are we going?"
"To my car," he points to the street where the car is waiting.
I move sluggishly, and I don't know if it's from the hit I took earlier, or if I'm just at my breaking point.
We get to the car in no time, but as I'm about to get inside, I see one man from before running towards us, gun raised, his aim clear.
Maybe later, when I'm able to reflect more clearly, I'll regret this. Maybe I'll even look back and wonder how this one sudden decision changed the entire course of my life.
But right at this moment I'm not thinking. I'm just acting. My mouth opens on a warning, and my body pushes against his, the last of my strength used up.
The pain doesn't come immediately. In fact, I feel quite numb as I try to blink some clarity into my eyes.
Enzo is cradling my body in his lap, and I have the vague impression that we're in a moving car.
"Why?" his voice is broken as he asks.
But I can't answer.
I can only fade away.
Chapter Six
MY FINGERS PLAY WITH the ring around my neck, and I force myself not to look back. I knew this moment was going to come, that we'd go our separate ways. But why do I feel odd about it?
I may have known her for less than a day, but she's grown on me. She's... unexpected. Fresh. And in my world, that's as rare as hen's teeth.
Maybe that's why I was so struck by her, and why she persists in staying on my mind. I've just ever met someone like her, so my brain is reacting to the novelty of it. There's nothing else to it.
Satisfied with the logical explanation, I take out the phone my driver had provided, and I dial the buyer, scheduling the meeting in less than an hour. The sooner I get rid of this cursed ring, the better I'll feel.
Morally Decadent (Morally Questionable Book 3) Page 7