by Tara Brown
There was only one thing she knew about the city that she could be sure of: she hated it. She wished to go home and never return. And in fact, she was strongly considering what her father had told her about Uncle Alek wanting her to take over Quays. It was a life she could imagine quite easily.
If this was what the world outside Blockley was, she didn’t want any of it.
Chapter 21
The red ball gown felt as if Lenny were wearing a torch, a beacon to draw unwanted attention. She inspected her reflection once more, unsure of how she could possibly be expected to dance in this. The fabric wasn't stiff or rigid; the entire dress felt as though it were made of tulle. There was no lacing up, just a tight bodice around her chest and middle back. The dress sat so low, it threatened to expose half her chest if she so much as moved. She’d never been so naked while wearing so many yards of fabric. Fortunately, the design was suitable to her wounds as the off-the-shoulder tulle straps, which were for show only, bore no weight on her arm. The designer who fitted her called it an off-the-shoulder boatneck gown. But Lenny didn’t see how the neckline was similar to a boat at all.
“You look lovely,” her mother muttered as she entered Lenny’s room dressed similarly in a teal gown, her breasts swelled out the top. Lenny had never seen her mother so exposed.
“Are Hilde and Amaya ready as well?” Lenny asked.
“Yes,” her mother answered, avoiding Lenny’s stare. Her eyes were still puffy but the makeup and fancy gown helped to hide it if no one looked too closely.
But Lenny did, examining her mother. Her face, which was normally easy to read, puzzled Lenny. Tonight, she didn't stare at Lenny with disdain or disappointment or judgment. There was something else. An honesty and fear Lenny had not seen before. Her mother clenched her jaw, pressing her lips together, as if holding back words she wished to speak.
The emotion lasted but a moment until she masterfully gained control over her sentiments. “Are you excited to meet the king and queen?”
“I am,” Lenny lied. “Why did you not tell us of the friendship between you and the queen?”
“It’s a story for another time,” she answered sharply. “Shall we then?” She offered her youngest child her arm and a pleasant smile although it was fake and Lenny knew it. There was little joy in her mother on a good day, and this was not a good day.
Lenny took her clammy fingers and clutched her mother’s bare arm, letting her escort her from the room.
“The king is a good man, funny and bold. He is loud and comes across quite brazen. The queen is quiet but do not mistake that silence for weakness. She is vicious if she feels slighted. Prince Landon is brilliant and gentle. His physical weaknesses have forced him to use his brain and reasoning is his best strength. He will make a great king.”
“And the princesses?” Lenny whispered.
“Of no concern. Spiteful and spoiled, you will not get along with them anyway.” Her mother’s lips lifted a tiny bit. “I wish I’d matched you and Landon.” She glanced at Lenny. “You are both clever and resourceful and your weaknesses only encourage you to improve your strengths. And you’re determined.”
“He will be a good example to Hilde,” Lenny joked.
“And you have no desire to be married.” Her mother stopped walking and spun to face Lenny. “I will stop trying to force it on you.” Her eyes glistened. There was an apology lingering in there that Lenny had to accept without ever hearing the words. Her brother’s death had impacted the poor woman beyond comprehension.
“You mean you will stop trying to force poor Lord Ivor on me,” Lenny said with a smile as Amaya and Hilde entered the sitting room they shared within their suite. “I think even he was convinced for a moment of your plan.”
“Lord Ivor?” her mother asked at the same time Amaya did.
“He told me he spoke to you.” Lenny didn’t want to play games. She knew she didn’t need to refresh her mother’s memory. “I know you wanted him to pursue me and he agreed, since Hilde will one day be queen. You two are scheming up a marriage pact. He explained how marriages work here, all business and no love. And while he might be interested in your arrangement, I am not. And have told him so.”
Hilde cringed and Amaya pulled back, visibly confused.
A smile crept upon their mother’s lips as the recollection of the conversation slipped back into Elsie’s mind. “You are mistaken, my darling.” She laughed, lifting a hand to her mouth.
“Lenny, that isn’t what happened at all.” Amaya shook her head.
“Lord Ivor did approach me regarding his intentions toward you. It was on the road to the city, at an inn along the way.” Elsie paused.
Hilde cringed but Amaya began to laugh. “He had too much ale and confessed he had never been bewitched by a young woman the way he was you. He said you were a siren, sent to the shores to ensnare his soul.” Hilde and Amaya grinned.
Lenny’s heart started to race.
“Yes, bewitched. That was how he said it.” Elsie pressed her lips together.
“He ranted about you,” Hilde continued. “How he had never met such a difficult and challenging girl. But he was certain you were meant to be together, and he hoped you felt the same.”
“Which of course we knew you didn't.” Amaya rolled her eyes dramatically. “And you never would.”
“Which is why I offered no blessings for his pursuing you, as it is not my position to do so. I told him he must take this up with your father,” her mother assured her. “I was buying you time so I could speak to you on this matter. But you showed up so suddenly, and we haven’t had a chance to speak. And of course I never imagined he would speak to you about it himself.”
Lenny’s stomach tightened.
Sweat broke out on her forehead.
“Oh dear.” Elsie wrinkled her nose. “What have you done?”
“Gods, Lenny. What did you say when he shared his feelings?”
Lenny gasped for breath, stepping back. Everything flashed in her mind, replaying each second she and Lord Ivor had spent together. Then the memories moved further back, replaying slowly, tormenting her.
His eyes always watching.
A smile resting on his lips whenever he saw her.
The way he bowed when they met. Maybe it wasn't that he was slighting her with that shallow bow. Perhaps, he was just trying to look at her as he did it. Always trying to make eye contact.
The upset expression on his face when he realized she wasn't joining them on the road.
His constant attempts at remaining by her side for conversation or teasing her.
The look on his face when he tried to explain he had feelings for her.
The way he stole glances.
His arm around her when he found her injured at the gates.
A shiver covered her entire body, and she worried she might lose the tea and biscuits she had eaten before getting dressed.
He acted the same way she did with James.
She gagged and covered her mouth, not worrying about the lip stain on her face.
“Lenny?” Elsie asked again, quieter this time, “What did you say to the poor man?”
“Accused him of plotting to join our families because of Hilde’s new status and my connection to her. I believed him indifferent and only pursuing me at your behest.” The words left her lips in a rush. Her eyes flickered to her mother. “I alleged he was your puppet, essentially.”
Amaya coughed and Hilde patted her back.
“Oh, Lenny.” Her mother twitched her head back and forth. “The man genuinely has feelings for you. I suspect he has had them from the moment you met, maybe even before he met you if that is at all possible.”
“No.” Lenny shuddered again as she stepped back more, slumping onto a stool and wincing when her shoulder was jarred. “Impossible.”
“While I agree that it is impossible the man, who is second in line to the throne and a lord, would ever want anything to do with you”—Amaya mocked her—“I am af
raid, dear sister, Lord Ivor is smitten.”
Hilde nodded. “Completely, Lenny.”
“What luck,” she moaned. “The gods are against me. I’m convinced. You can’t possibly know this, Hilde, but the one man I wanted to notice me, is desperately in love with you. I ran into him in Wetwoodshire. We supped and it was obvious,” she lamented. “And now I’ve humiliated a poor man in the same boat as I am as far as love is concerned. I’ve treated him cruelly, and without cause.” The irony made her nausea worsen. “I think the worst part is after I doubted the existence of his feelings for me and accused him of only pursuing me as a favor to you, Mother, I then thought him a hypocrite for disliking the business-styled marriages here.”
“Oh, Lenny.” The humor left her mother’s face.
“This is all your fault!” Lenny stood and began pacing. “You were always forcing the talk of marriage. Of course, I would think any decent man with a title and fortune would only marry me to please your connections.” She held her arms out from her thin body. “Who else would want me?” She covered her eyes.
“Lenny, you’re beautiful.”
“I’m not fishing for compliments, Hilde. I know what I am,” she growled at her sister and paced faster, making her dress swish with her footsteps. “He tried to protect me and offer me friendship and I doubted it.” She turned her gaze to her mother and said the one sentence she never imagined she would, “Tell me what to do and I will do it.”
“This has no doubt only increased his love of you. Rejection of the thing we want only makes us want it more. Which means he will try to befriend you and be around you. You have to choose wisely now, Lenny,” her mother spoke softly, not the reaction Lenny expected.
“Could you love him, Lenny?” Hilde asked.
“No—I don't know. I haven’t given it a moment’s thought.” Lenny stood and began to pace. “I didn’t know he was sincere. He’s the first boy to genuinely make an offer.”
“Why not see if the friendship you have obviously offered him could blossom into something else?” Hilde asked. “And I am truly sorry about James. I had no idea.”
“Of course you didn't.” Lenny laughed bitterly, staring up at the ceiling. She allowed herself one more moment to wallow in her pity. Then she took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “It doesn’t matter. This night is not about me or the imprudent complications I always seem to cause.” She turned back to Hilde. “Let us celebrate your engagement so Mother and Amaya might be on their way home. Father needs us.” She held her hand out. “That is what’s important now.”
Her mother nodded and took Lenny’s hand.
“Maybe you could dance with him a couple of times, try to lessen the blow,” Amaya said with a grin.
“Yes, fine,” Lenny agreed and they walked from the sitting room, hurrying through the halls to the grand staircase.
The castle was abuzz with guests arriving and servants dashing about the main floor. Everyone was dressed to shine, even the servants.
As they made their way to the ballroom, Hilde stood taller, taking smaller steps and slowing her family’s gait.
Lenny’s entire body tensed as she took in the size of the ballroom and the number of guests. It dwarfed the hall back home to the point of ridiculous. The ceiling was so high Lenny was certain it had to nearly reach the top of the castle. It too was painted with a scene of angelic fae from the legends. Lithe and willowy men and women, archers and huntresses. The scene changed, becoming Hithu and Isil and her unfortunate father, the king, sitting in his boat.
Lenny lowered her gaze to see her family joining a line.
A red carpet ran through the middle of the room to where the king and queen sat on thrones at the top of a small set of stone stairs. A procession line was moving quickly as everyone made their way to the thrones to bow and curtsey before the royal family.
A handsome face sat next to the king. He was young and quite beautiful.
“Is that Prince Landon?” Lenny asked, staring at him.
“That is,” her mother said quietly.
On the queen’s side sat two young women, one possibly older than Prince Landon and the other younger.
Next to Prince Landon sat Lord Ivor. He and his younger cousin were by far the handsomest men Lenny had ever seen. Seeing Lord Ivor made her entire body ache with regret and humiliation and the worst sort of guilt. Its weight had no equal and caused her a violent desire to run in the opposite direction.
Regardless of the soft music riding the warm summer air in from the open terrace, she wasn’t distracted. The noise and movement of the people milling about on either side of the massive red carpet didn't drag her regard to them. She was locked on a face, and the moment she and her family were close enough to the throne for him to spot her in the crowd, his was locked on her.
She forced a pleasant smile on her lips, offering him a subtle nod when her mother squeezed her arm lightly.
“Lenny, you’ve always been difficult. I beg of you, if you have gleaned even a single drop of sense as far as etiquette goes, use it now. You cannot blame a man for expecting a young lady to return his feelings. You are the fish out of water, my love. He is the expectation all parents have of their children.” Her mother’s whispered words reminded her of her father’s. Fish out of water. “In fact, he might be above the average. I hear he is a battalion leader in the military, wiser than most generals twice his age. So please, do not insult this man, again, who will be Hilde’s family.”
“I won’t.” Lord Ivor being a battalion leader surprised Lenny. She had assumed he was a typical lord, in charge by birth, not experience. And certainly not a military man.
“Someone is staring awfully forlornly,” Amaya murmured, tormenting Lenny.
“Gods, Lenny. Whatever you said to him, I daresay Lord Ivor is permanently ruined.” Hilde nudged her gently. “I suppose now you know how it feels. I’m sorry for that.”
Lenny noted sadness in her sister’s eyes. “For what?”
“Being the object of desire for nothing more than your face, because honestly, what more does he know about you? He saw you and now he loves you, and you have done nothing to encourage it. It’s terrible to cause someone that type of pain. Since you cannot soothe the ache and the harder you try to be kind to them, the more they believe it is possible for you to love them back.”
Lenny tried not to wince outwardly, hating that Hilde was aware of her curse. That made it much worse. Lenny had always assumed Hilde wasn't bright enough to understand that men desired her. Not just some men, all men.
She wondered why Lord Ivor couldn’t love Hilde the way all men did. He and Wen had been the first she’d seen look to her or Amaya over their sister.
And deep down, though she didn’t want to admit it, Lenny liked that.
Chapter 22
As they bowed before the king and queen, Lenny fought hard to recall the lessons her mother had given them.
“Rise, dear girl. Let us have a look at you,” the queen gushed.
Lenny stood tall, lifting her chin and softening the expression on her face.
“You have always reminded me of your father the most.” The queen clasped her hands together. “All three of you are the most beautiful girls here, besides the princesses, of course. I expected stunning children from you and Edwin, but they exceed anything I might have imagined.”
“Ilenia.” The king scowled. “Where do I know this name from? We did know an Ilenia before, did we not, my love?” he asked the queen.
“It is the name of the youngest princess of the elves in the legend of the mist,” Prince Landon spoke. “I shall picture your face now every time I read it.”
Lenny didn’t know how to take that, if her face was an improvement on the story or not. “I’m unaware of this legend, Your Highness.” Lenny glanced at her mother.
“I forced your mother to read the story to me every night when we were girls.” The queen laughed. “I am certain she was so tired of it, she never wanted to read it a
gain. There is a wonderful copy in the library. My son surely knows its location by heart. For it’s his favorite as well.”
“In truth I always loved the name but forgot about the story,” Elsie replied with a chuckle.
“I can tell you the story, Lenny,” Lord Ivor spoke over the conversation, drawing Lenny’s attention to him.
“I would like that very much,” she forced herself to say.
“Well, then if you will all excuse me, I believe my due diligence has been satisfied.” Lord Ivor stood from his seat.
“Indeed, Mother. I too am eager to make the announcement and begin the evening,” Prince Landon agreed. He stood, which Lenny hadn’t expected. He used a cane and walked with some difficulty to the stairs. Hilde hurried to his side, slipping her arm in his and assisting him on the stairs. “I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, Ilenia.” Prince Landon bowed, resting his weight on his cane.
“The pleasure is all mine, Your Highness,” Lenny said softly and bowed deeply, her dress falling open even more so, leaving her wondering how much of her body was visible to the king as she did.
“Shall we?” Lord Ivor offered Lenny his arm.
“Thank you.” He offered his other arm to Amaya. “Do you wish to hear the story as well?”
“I’d love to.” She took it and let him lead them to the right, following behind Hilde and Prince Landon who walked Hilde from the ballroom to the terrace.
The night air was beautiful, warm and still.
There was a smell Lenny knew, a scent and heaviness she would have recognized anywhere. It was a storm. The scent of it building, creating sparks and tension was something she still loved, although Wilfred was gone. She couldn’t imagine a second storm might be coming.
“I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother, Miss Amaya,” Lord Ivor said politely as they walked to the edge of the terrace. “I understand you will make for Blockley tonight, after the party?”
“Yes.” Amaya didn’t bother to hide the agony on her face. “We long to be back there with Father.” Lenny took her sister’s hand in hers and squeezed. “Thank you for your thoughts, Lord Ivor, but I can’t dwell on it here. I will cry and ruin my makeup. It’s best I save that for the long ride home.”