by Hart, Staci
But I was looking for Elle.
I found her in her room, and even though it was Sunday, a day for leggings and big sweaters, she was fully dressed in slacks and a button-down, though her feet were clad in wooly socks. Her sketchbook sat in her lap, pencil poised elegantly on the page.
She looked up, smiling. “Well, don’t you look happy?” she mused, bookmarking her page with the ribbon in the binding before closing the sketchbook and setting it on her nightstand.
“I think I’m in love,” I said wistfully and flopped onto her bed with a dramatic flair.
She laughed. “Greg?”
I made a face at her. “No, Will.”
One brow rose. “And who is Will?”
“Oh, just my knight in shining Mercedes.”
“What in the world does that mean?”
I giggled and rolled over onto my stomach, propping myself up on my elbows. “So I was walking to work today—”
Her face exploded into a frown so fast, I almost got whiplash. “You what? Susan sent for the driver! Why did you walk? Did you tell Mama? Why would you—”
“Oh my God, will you just listen?”
She snapped her mouth shut, but the look on her face told me it had better be good.
“So, I sent the driver away because I had plenty of time before I had to be at work, and I wanted to walk. I stopped at every park bench, I swear. I wanted to work on what pieces to use for my audition and think about everything, and I was being perfectly responsible.”
Her face softened. “All right, I’m sorry.”
My bottom lip found its way between my teeth. “But then I was standing at the edge of the lake and…I sort of fainted.”
Another volcanic face explosion, this one into a mix of anger, shock, and fear. “You what? Annie, this is exactly why you’re not supposed to do things like this on your own. You didn’t tell any of us. None of us knew. What if something worse had happened? Did they have to call an ambulance? God, why didn’t you call me?”
When she finally took a breath, I cut in. “I’m fine. Everything was fine. It was a mistake to walk, and I’ll never do it again—I swear it. I just…it was such a beautiful day, and I was so happy. I thought I had it under control, that I was being smart. And you know why I didn’t tell Mama; she would have said no, and I didn’t tell you because you would have told Mama.”
She folded her arms and gave me a look that told me I was right. “Go on.”
“So, I fainted, and when I woke, I was in his arms. Will. He was so worried, so funny and nice. And God, he’s so handsome. When we stood up, I was still a little weak and fell into him. And get this: he scooped me up like a princess and carried me to the road so his driver could pick us up and take me to work. Can you believe it?” I giggled again, grinned and giggled and flittered and fluttered. “He insisted on picking me up from work and getting me home tonight, and tomorrow, he’s got a surprise date for me. And then we’re going to fall in love and get married in some super-fancy rich-people hotel and live in a penthouse and have a zillion babies.”
Elle laughed. “You are so ridiculous.”
I sighed. “I know. Isn’t it grand? Imagining is half the fun.”
“And what if it doesn’t happen like you imagine?”
“Then I guess I’ll just shrivel up and die.”
She snorted a laugh.
“Daydreaming is fun and free and makes me happy. And if reality isn’t what I’ve imagined, I’ll just dream up something new.”
“Well then, by all means, daydream away.”
I rested my chin on my hand, still grinning.
“So, what happened to Greg?”
My smile fell like a sack of bricks. “Were you still asleep when we talked last night?”
“No, I’m just wondering what happened. He worked with you today, right? Did you tell him about Will?”
I found myself nibbling my lip again and forced myself to stop. “Yeah.”
“Was he okay?”
“He was a little weird,” I admitted, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. “But he and Will aren’t on the best of terms. But I’m not worried. Everything will be fine. Greg is my friend, and Will turns my insides to glittery, sparkly goop.”
She gave me a look that I met with a defensive frown.
“I know I’m being silly, but I met my dream guy today. Can’t you just be happy for me?”
Elle sighed, her face slipping to acceptance. “Of course I’m happy for you. I just don’t want you to get hurt. You trust everyone—”
“And you trust no one,” I volleyed.
She looked hurt but rested her hand over mine. “I’m sorry I upset you. Your happiness makes me happy, and I can’t argue with a guy who makes your insides turn into unicorn goop.”
“Thank you,” I said a little curtly, though I was smiling. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I rolled toward the edge of the bed and stood. “Well, I’ve got to start practicing. Juilliard!” I squealed, my happiness bubbling up again.
Elle laughed and waved me off. “Go. You’re going to be great, Annie. I know it.”
“I hope so.”
“I don’t have to hope. I know.”
And her faith fueled my own.
Greg
I rattled up Tenth toward home on my board, the familiar sound of my wheels on the pavement offering me no comfort.
Of all the guys she could have walked in with, it had to be him.
It was one thing to watch her walk in with him and another thing entirely to watch her walk away on his arm. I’d spent the entire day consumed by what it meant, trying so hard to make sense of it. But I only succeeded in making myself angry, so angry that when Will came in to pick her up, I lost my ability to keep cool.
I had always hated that motherfucker. The first time his punk ass had walked into my house, I knew he was going to be a problem, and he was.
And I’d thought I was largely over it, but I was not. Not by a long shot.
I’d never trusted the smooth-talking teenager with the prep-school jacket and lying smile. As the leader of the douche pack, he was Sarah’s gateway into the cool crowd, and she trusted that smile to be truth, trusted his words as if they were gospel.
Until she didn’t.
It seemed to happen slowly, a seed of doubt in his intentions that sprouted and took root. They started fighting. And then she was ready to walk away, only she was afraid of the consequences. She didn’t want to lose the thin foothold in the group of friends she’d found in that fancy school on the Upper East.
When she finally left him, he made it his mission to ruin her.
The rumors were fierce, her ejection from their social group brutal and final. It wasn’t until she graduated and started college at Columbia that she finally moved on. Two years of hell by his hand, all because she’d had the audacity to break up with him.
And now…now, he had ahold of Annie who, in so many ways, was far more inexperienced than Sarah had ever been.
I hopped the curb in front of our building and came to a stop, heading upstairs and out of the cold, though the ice in my bones wasn’t likely to thaw anytime soon.
The apartment was serene. Dad was sitting on the couch, working on a puzzle with his reading glasses perched on the tip of his nose and gnarled fingers holding a tiny piece in front of him for inspection. Sarah and our brother, Tim, sat at the table—Sarah studying and Tim on his laptop, probably working, considering he was still in his suit and it was tax season. He was barely up the first rung of the ladder at his accounting firm, which landed him the worst hours known to man.
They turned to me with smiles I didn’t return.
“Bad day, son?” Dad asked with one gray brow on the rise.
“Coulda been better.” I propped my board in its spot next to the door and kicked off my shoes before carrying my bag to the table. I tossed it in a chair and headed to the fridge for a beer.
Once the cool glass was again
st my lips, I felt better. For a second at least. I imagined Will with his arm around Annie, and my fist clenched around the bottle hard enough for my skin to creak against the glass from the pressure.
“What’s the matter with you?” Sarah teased.
I didn’t laugh. “I saw Will Bailey today at work.”
She paled and stilled in one breath. “Oh?”
“Yeah.” I took a long pull of my beer.
“That motherfucker,” Tim sneered, which was almost comical with him in a tie and button-down.
Sarah watched me for a second. “What did you do?”
My jaw clenched. “I didn’t do anything. But he…he…” I shook my head. “He showed up at work with a girl on his arm—my girl on his arm.”
Sarah’s eyes widened. “Annie? The girl you were with yesterday?”
“The very one.” Another nod and another swig, almost finishing it.
“That motherfucker,” Tim repeated, seemingly beyond his ability to compose complete sentences.
“I can’t believe this. Him. I lost my chance to him,” I said, just as dumbfounded and pissed as Tim, I guessed.
“What does that Bailey boy want with your girl?” Dad asked from the living room.
“Give you one guess.”
Sarah sat there, looking stunned. “Are they…dating?”
“I don’t know what they are. Annie fainted in the park today, and he was there. He even carried her to his hired car. Can you believe that asshole?”
“That motherfucker,” Tim said again as invisible smoke pumped out of his ears like twin tailpipes.
Dad snickered. “Yeah, a real jerk, helping a poor girl out like that. Somebody oughta call the authorities.”
I turned to glare at him. “I can’t believe you’d even joke about him after what he did.” I shook my head and met Sarah’s worried eyes. “It was already hard for you at that school with all those rich kids. There you were, stuck in the middle of a pond of piranhas with nothing but a boat full of holes and a busted oar to protect you. And that son of a bitch was the piranha king. He made up those rumors, ruined your reputation. And for what? Because he got dumped? All because his pride was bruised? Man, fuck that guy. Fuck him. And now he’s got Annie.”
My stomach turned at the thought, and I tipped my beer back to drain it before getting another from the fridge. I twisted the top off with a hiss but held on to the bottle cap, squeezing it until the tin bit into my palm.
“He hurt you, and now he’s going to hurt her too. She still believes in everyday magic, still sees the world as a safe place. Annie is completely untouched by the world and its cruelties, and if he hurts her, so help me God…” I couldn’t finish, not as angry as I was, but I was sure we were all imagining exactly what I’d do. I knew I was.
Sarah had the strangest look on her face and opened her mouth, as if to speak. But she closed it again and shook her head.
After a moment, she said, “You’ve got to get her away from him. What can you do?”
I had no answer for that. “I don’t know if there’s anything I can do, not now. He’s single-handedly wrecked every plan I had just by showing up at the right place at exactly the right time.”
Tim fumed. “You can’t give up, man. You can’t let that motherfucker win.”
“Hey, look at that—he speaks,” Dad joked, standing to make his way over to me. “He’s right, you know.”
I took a sip, avoiding answering.
“You shouldn’t let this girl go, not if you feel this strongly about her.”
I ran a hand over my face and took my seat at the table, sagging against the back of the chair. “I shouldn’t even want anything to do with her. She’s only eighteen.”
Tim made a face. “Bro.”
“I know, I know.” I waved a hand in his direction. “And she works at the bookstore. I’m not technically her boss, but it makes things a little…complicated. And all that is on top of the fact that I can’t even be sure she’s interested in me. I mean, she told me today that all her dreams were coming true, in part because of That Motherfucker. Like, what the hell was I supposed to say? And what am I supposed to do? Tell her I hate him? Tell her he’s an asshole? Warn her off and hope she doesn’t slam the door on me for being jealous?”
I ran a hand through my hair, plagued by the futility of it all.
“I want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy. She deserves someone who sees her,” I said half to myself. “Someone who appreciates the rareness of her—the righteous, uncorrupt girl who wants to live every breath like it’s her last. But I don’t believe That Motherfucker is going to honor her or cherish her. He’s just going to tarnish her shine.”
Sarah smiled, her face touched with emotion. “You should tell her that. I bet she’d dump him within three heartbeats of that speech.”
I huffed a humorless laugh and shook my head.
“Seriously, there has to be something you can do,” she said. “And if you can woo her yourself, then Will won’t be an issue. Take her back from him.”
When I didn’t say anything, she leaned in eagerly. “Come on, there has to be something. What does she like? What’s she interested in? Where can you take her?”
I thought for a second. “She’s got this list of things she’s never done, and I’ve been helping her cross stuff off of it. The other day, we were talking about a list of donut shops and I thought maybe I could take her to some.”
Sarah lit up. “Oh, wait! Hang on!”
She bounded out of the room while Dad, Tim, and I blinked at each other. When she trotted back in, it was with a little booklet titled NYC Donut Map. On opening it, we saw that it was a map of Manhattan with donut shops listed with a key full of details about the stores. I noted a couple, including a little shop called Lekker near the bookstore, and I wondered if we could go there during our break someday.
Sarah hung her hands on her hips, looking proud of herself. “Take that to her and ask her if she wants to go exploring with you. That’s one date.”
“Doesn’t she have to be into me for it to be considered a date?”
She shook her head. “Listen, you just need to keep being there. Be her friend. She’ll come around.”
Tim rolled his eyes. “Nobody makes it out of the friendzone, and you know it.”
Sarah glared at him. “First, don’t crush Greg’s spirit. Second, he’s only temporarily friendzoned. Right, Greg? You said you guys were vibing yesterday.”
Dad shook his head. “It’s almost like you’re speaking English. What the hell is vibing?”
“You know,” Sarah answered, “when you really like somebody and you feel that…zing. Like electricity. The attraction.”
“Ah,” he said with a nod. “I’m caught up. Continue.”
Tim and I chuckled.
“So, what else?” Sarah asked, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm and purpose. “Do you think she might like the ballet? I mean, Rose got us tickets once. Do you think she’d do it again?”
Tim nodded. “Bitches love the ballet, man.”
I shook my head at him. “How the hell are you the one with the responsible, grown-up suit-and-tie job?”
He shrugged.
“Yeah,” I conceded. “Rose could probably get me tickets again, but I don’t know. The ballet? That’s like a fancy, serious date, isn’t it? I don’t want to scare her off. And if she’s with Will, I don’t know if she’ll even agree to go with me.”
“Play the friend card,” Tim encouraged.
“Oh, now being friendzoned is useful?”
“Look, I’m just saying, use every card you can. Throw the whole deck at her. Fifty-Two Card Pickup of the heart.”
Sarah nodded. “I’m with Tim. Take her to the ballet. You’ve got two shots to impress her, and I’m sure we can come up with more. Just start there, see how it goes.”
I thought on it and felt something more dangerous than anything—hope. “You know, it might work.”
Tim laughed, a bi
g, bawdy sound, and clapped me on the upper arm. “Attaboy. Go get your girl, steal her back from That Motherfucker. And if he gets in the way, just punch him. Twice.”
“Why twice?”
He smirked. “Once for me.”
Practically Perfect
Greg
Sleep was an effective reset. I woke the next morning with a sense of renewed purpose. I had a plan in my pocket and a goal in mind: get that girl.
My girl, I’d said last night without thinking. Because the second I’d seen Annie with Will, that was my first and only thought.
Mine.
It was stupid and archaic, savage even, but the instinct was deep and automatic. That single word sang unbidden from my heart at the mere thought of her with another man. Maybe it was because part of me was already hers. Any choice I had to the contrary had long since passed, if there ever had been a choice.
That realization had at least spawned a plan, and when I pulled open the door to Wasted Words on my day off, it was with a donut map in my pocket, a smile on my face, and hope in my heart.
I scanned the store looking for Annie, spotting her behind the register on a stool with her chin propped in her hand and her eyes on an open book on the counter, her face soft and lovely and content. With a spring in my step and my speech on a loop in my mind, I headed over to her.
She looked up, first with the polite reception she would give a customer, a stranger, but when she saw it was me, her eyes lit up like New Year’s Eve.
“Hey,” she said cheerily, closing her book. “I didn’t expect to see you on your day off.”
I smiled, ignoring the squirming nerves in my stomach and that damnable fluttering hope in my chest. “I wanted to bring you something.”
“Ooh, a surprise? I love surprises.”
My smile tilted into a smirk. “Remember the other day when you said you’d like to get your hands on a list of donut shops?”
She nodded, grinning.
“Well, look what I found.” I pulled the map out of my back pocket and slid it across the counter, feeling like a king when her face shifted into sheer elation.
“Oh my God!” She unfurled the map and pored over it. “I’m gonna gain fifty pounds and probably have a heart attack, but it’s gonna be so worth it,” she said with a giggle.