I didn’t wait for his response, or for him to put on the boots he’d taken off when he’d sneaked back into the room at four in the morning.
Jamie’s door opened, and he came bounding after me, fresh from a night spent snuggling his fiancée. “I’m starving,” he informed me, pressing too many buttons in the elevator. “May I join you for breakfast?”
I nodded, and then pressed the only button we actually needed. “Wilderness Jim send you to babysit?”
Jamie gave me an affectionate grin, wrapping me in a half-hug. “Oh, liten syster, you’re too hard on him.”
“Says the guy who actually got to sleep next to his significant other. I got to pretend to sleep in an empty room half the night.” I held up two sarcastic thumbs. “Super. He wants space, so I’m giving him space. He just didn’t know how to ask for it. Feels really good when your boyfriend literally runs away from you in the dead of night. You definitely picked the right sibling.” I guess I could’ve played it cool, but it was Jamie. He’d go poking around in my head for the answers eventually if I wasn’t forthcoming with them.
Jamie’s grin faltered a little, but he was too happy having spent some uninterrupted time alone with Britta to truly participate in my portable rain cloud. He was clad in dark jeans, a green polo, a zip-up blue hoodie and black Chucks, all of which made him look oddly right for my world. That coupled with the shave and shower made for a handsome and happy Jamie. “Jens loves you,” he reminded me.
“Yup. I’m hungry,” I said, changing the subject as the doors finally opened up to the correct floor. I led the way to the breakfast area and loaded up my plate with the standards: bagel, eggs, bacon, sausage, orange juice, a banana and a bottle of water.
Jamie was fascinated with the waffle iron that didn’t need a fire under it to cook the batter in. He made seven fluffy Belgian waffles before the line behind him started to pile up.
Jamie was amazed by the difference in produce and baked goods, but unimpressed with the quality of our eggs. “I had two dozen chickens back home, and those are not eggs,” he declared, pushing them toward me in disgust.
“Hate to break it to you, pal, but they are. Your food tastes different than ours. Yours is pure, fresh from the source. Your water’s not polluted. Your air’s perfect. Ours is industrialized, so it takes the quality down a notch.” I forked a bite of his eggs and shoved them into my mouth. “You get used to it.”
Jamie fired off a string of questions about my world, shocked that I was, as I’d insisted, not Queen of the Other Side.
“Nope. Just a regular person. Less than that. I’m technically dead, so I’m more like a ghost of a person, or someone else entirely.”
A woman with curly red hair approached us and addressed Jamie with a sheepish expression. Oh, brother. “Are you and your girlfriend using this chair?” She leaned on the chair next to him, giving him her best flirty eyes and seventh-grade stance.
Jamie shook his head, appalled. “No, ma’am. She’s not my girlfriend.” Jamie was insultingly quick with his response, so I kicked him under the table.
I smiled up at her, wiping my hands off on my napkin. “He’s my brother. His fiancée’s coming down in a minute, though, so you can take that chair.” I pointed to a spare one at a nearby table.
The red-head wilted appropriately and slinked away, taking the chair she didn’t really need to a table with her girlfriends.
“Is this married in your culture?” He motioned between us uncertainly. “You and I eating together? You were always so casual on our side. I just assumed men and women ate together all the time here.” Jamie worried at our public torrid affair.
I picked at one of Jamie’s many waffles, which didn’t have much flavor. “They do. You’re fine. Don’t worry, you’re spared from the horror of people assuming you’re with me. That was just her clever way of fishing to see if you’re single. Ginger wants to jump your bones.”
Jamie turned beet red and focused on his plate. “I’m sure you can’t be right. Women aren’t like that. They don’t have the same desires as men.”
I lowered my voice. “You’ve been in my head, so you know that’s not true. I’m telling you,” I said, chewing on the waffle, “bone-jumper. Nothing wrong with her seeing if you’re single.”
“I should get back to Britta.” Jamie pushed his plate toward me. It was clear he could not get away from me fast enough, lest someone think we were together, and he was a man who ran around on his woman.
“I’m still hungry. See ya up there.”
Jamie was torn between watching over Jens’s charge and fleeing the scene of his non-adultery. “You’ll come right back up when you’re done?”
“Yes, Dad.” The word was meant to be sarcastic, but it faltered on my tongue. Pain slashed across my heart at using the precious word so callously.
Jamie’s hand flew to his chest as if my ache caused him physical hurt. “Wow. That was powerful.” His panic shifted to pity, and now it was me who could not get rid of him fast enough.
“See ya, Jamie.” I waved him off.
He looked down at me with brotherly love in his eyes. “I wish I felt one tenth of that for my own father.”
“Bye, Jamie,” I said, not caring that I sounded rude.
Jamie kissed the top of my head in that same non-sexual way Jens started doing, and I wanted to puke. “See you upstairs, liten syster.”
I waited for him to leave before folding my arms on the table and resting my head atop them in a big huff. I was tired from the fake sleep, sure, but gearing down for a lifetime of Brother Jamie and Watchdog Jens was taxing. Thank God for Britta.
Jens was MIA when I made it upstairs half an hour later, so I ditched Jamie and Britta to go swimming. They could not have been happier to gain more alone time.
My new bathing suit was pale blue with gold straps. Totally cute on anyone else. Unfortunately I had Foss’s crest burned above my breasts and various bruises peppered all over my body from the guards wrestling me into the cell before they killed that emo guy with the crazy eyes. I had a burn mark on my lower back from the fire at Foss’s house, and many deep cuts that had healed poorly from my adventures in Undraland. I looked like a battered wife or something. Awesome.
I took my towel down to the pool area and just sat on the side with my legs in the water, pushing out thoughts of the Nøkkendalig. I really had no desire to swim, but knew I couldn’t let myself become afraid of the water. There was too much fear in my life as it was. This was on my terms, and there were no mermen anywhere in my world to molest me and drag me down to my death. When a flirty couple came into the pool room, I plunged myself into the water to hide my body from them.
Panic. Pain. Suck it up.
Laps.
I took my fear, frustration and creeping depression out on the surface of the water, chopping my hands through with precision developed from my half a semester taking swimming for gym class. I completed seven laps in the long pool before I realized I was winded. When I stopped to look around, I noticed a dozen or so more people had entered the pool area.
The familiar set of eyes locked on mine, but the thrill of having Jens nearby fell flat when he had that business face on instead of the boyfriend smile. I saluted him with two fingers, and he reciprocated the gesture.
I’m pretty sure Jamie looked more like my boyfriend than Jens, and I really hated that.
He motioned me toward him, so I swam forward and clung to the edge of the pool where he knelt down. “I’ve got to go out for a bit. Jamie and Britt are holed up in their room, but could you check in on them when you’re done? Make sure they don’t stick their fingers in any light sockets or anything like that?”
“I was just about to get out,” I said, pulling myself up out of the water.
Jens helped me to stand and gasped when he saw the state of my body. It was the first actual reaction to anything he’d had in a while, and it was a mixture of disgust and horror, all aimed at me. He turned and snatched my towel, band
ing it around me as if to cover up his crime. As if he was the one who’d beaten me and burned me. As if I was gross.
I felt gross.
“Let’s get you upstairs.” One arm curled around my back to move me forward, and the other held my towel in place so no one else would be exposed to the awfulness that was my body.
“I’m fine, Jens.” I wriggled out of his grasp and snatched up my shorts, t-shirt and shoes.
“Something interesting written on my girlfriend’s ass?” Jens barked at someone in the pool.
I had no words for Jens, only a snarl. It’s hard to leave in a huff when you’re soaking wet, but I managed.
6
Coming to Blows
“I’m not done talking to you about this,” Jens said as he stomped into the hotel room after me.
I hadn’t said a word, and I wasn’t about to fall into the trap of arguing with a two-year-old. I shut myself in the bathroom and locked the door so he couldn’t follow me inside. The overwhelming white of the tiles and counter yelled at me that I didn’t belong in the perfection, but I ignored the feeling, as I already had someone yelling at me on the other side of the door that couldn’t be so easily discounted.
“Fine, you can just listen,” Jens snapped. “I need you to be more careful when you’re out in the open. All it takes is for someone in Pesta’s pocket to see you, and she’s on us. I want you to be able to stay in one place, Loos. I mean it. No more wandering off in your bikini.”
My cheeks burned at how he made me sound. He’d had naked women riding him in a group orgy, but I wasn’t allowed to go swimming by myself. Too bad the superstore didn’t sell burkas.
I turned on the water so I didn’t yell at him and take us down a road we couldn’t return from. After I disrobed, I looked in the mirror at the marks covering my naked body. The wide mirror had gold edges and not a fingerprint on it. I, on the other hand, had plenty of marks on me, and was far from beautiful.
I vaguely recall being cute. Maybe on the verge of almost pretty on a good day. Those days were long gone. I’d been through too much. The Nøkkendalig. The fire. The fights. The Weres. The farlig. Thomas Jefferson. Piece by piece, they sucked the youth from me. There were too many bruises. I had fresh scars I could barely remember acquiring. I placed my hand on the mirror to cover up my face that looked so worn, I could scarcely take ownership of the tear-stained image.
My heart sank almost audibly. I’m ugly.
No sooner had I thought the words did Jamie’s voice echo in my brain. No, Lucy. You’re not ugly. You’re very desirable. Look at you.
I shrieked and jumped back from the mirror, scrambling for a towel to cover myself with.
“Lucy? What? What’s wrong?” Jens called from the other side of the door. “Are you hearing anything I’ve been saying?”
I shrank to the floor, my hands on my ears, trying to shut out both Jamie and Jens. It was confusing to have someone talk to you out loud and a different guy speak in your mind at the same time.
I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m coming over there. I didn’t mean to look. I’m sorry!”
“Go away!” I screamed at both of them.
I heard Jamie and Jens talking, and then shouting at each other. I could feel heat from Jamie rising up in the bond, and wished for just a little space.
Before I could despair any further, an invisible force socked me in the cheek, whipping my face to the side and banging my head into the wall. I let out a shocked sob as blood trickled out of my mouth. The stars were blinked away, but the pain drummed like a heartbeat in my face.
“Lucy? Lucy!” Jens yelled, banging on the bathroom door, shaking the built-in blow-dryer on the wall. “That stupid bond! I meant to hit Jamie, not you! Let me in, baby. Let me look at it.”
I wished for a double lock, but the one was holding up well enough. The water was still running, and luckily hid most of the emotion from my quivering reply of, “I’m fine. Just taking a shower.”
My jaw cracked horribly as I crawled into the tub, hoping if he did manage to break down the door, that he would respect my privacy and let me take a shower.
I lay in a ball on the floor of the shower and sobbed silently as the water fell, washing away the blood in ethereal ribbons that would have been pretty if the whole situation wasn’t so doomed. I checked my teeth with my tongue to make sure none of them were loose and bit down on my knuckle as I cried my way through the echoes of pain that just kept on coming.
It’s okay! We’re okay, Lucy. Are you alright? Oh, sweetheart, Jens would never do that to you on purpose.
Jamie’s concern only compounded my emotional imbalance. “Get out of my head!” I screamed like a crazy person.
I stroked the glass heart around my neck. Linus would never have stood for anyone hitting me, even by accident. Now I had no brother, no family to comfort me and no one who understood. My tears were fat as they shoved themselves down my cheeks, and I wondered if I would ever have something that resembled a normal life.
Foss’s ring hung just below my Linus heart. I made the decision to let myself despair for that small slice of time, poking my finger through the ring and bawling through a wish that wherever Foss was, he was safe. If I was being truthful, I would admit that I wished he was here, that he would hold me as he did after the attack from the Nøkkendalig. We’d slept together many nights, and he hadn’t left me alone in the bed. He’d spooned me, holding his knife to my breasts in his strange way that somehow made me feel safe while teetering on the edge of danger. I missed him, and desperately wished that gnawing ache would go away.
I ran through seven different escape plans in my head, all of which failed when the bond was factored in. I was doomed. It seemed Jamie’s curse had been transferred to me somehow.
Jens finally broke open the door, tumbling in like an apologizing rhino. “Lucy, I didn’t mean it! I forgot you were tied to him and just lost my temper.” He tore open the shower curtain, but shut it again when I screamed.
“Get out! What makes you think you’re allowed to barge in on me in the shower? Can’t a girl get some privacy? I’m still a woman, Jens!”
“I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking. Could you please come out? I need to look at your face.”
“I told you, I’m fine. It’ll heal, just like everything else. Go run your errands.”
There was a pause, and then a plea. “Please, Lucy. Tell me how to make it right.”
“We’re fine,” I lied. Then I dug for the truth, which was buried beneath layers of hurt. “I know you wouldn’t knock me around on purpose. Just be more careful next time, and maybe don’t punch your best friend in the face over something he can’t always control.” I swallowed and sat up in the shower, pulling myself together as best I could. “Laplanding is hard enough without you turning all possessive boyfriend on me. Don’t make life harder.”
“I don’t like that Jamie saw you naked,” Jens confessed, but his tone was still repentant. “I have every right to punch someone who’s creeping on you.”
I stood and turned off the water, reaching around the curtain for a hotel towel that was never big enough. Stepping out, Jens caught my elbow and helped me so I didn’t slip. It was sweet. I was his ninety-year-old grandmother. Sex on a stick.
“Jamie and I are working on it. You have to chill. Yelling at the guy in the pool you think was looking at me? Not cool. I need zero of that in my life. I’m twenty years old. I can handle it.” I shook my head at him, but couldn’t look directly into his stricken face. “Socking your best friend over a mistake? That’s not like you.”
Jens nodded, taking his scolding like a repentant child. I hated the sight of it. “I’m sorry.”
“You punched Linus’s sister. You told me you two used to be close. How do you think he’d react to this?”
Jens gulped, ashamed. “He’d murder me where I stood, no question.”
I nodded at his assessment, my skin cold and my hair dripping down my back. “I don’t know what’s gotte
n into you since we left Undraland, but whatever it is, it’s changing you and taking us from each other. If you don’t want to be with me, just say it. Don’t ruin what we had and go down in flames like this. It’s insulting.”
Jens’s eyes grew wide, horrified at my assumption. “I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want out.”
“Then why are you sneaking out at night?”
He flinched that he’d been caught. “You saw that, did you?”
“Trusting you isn’t exactly easy with our track record. I wouldn’t bother putting any more lies atop what’s left of us right now. Out with it.”
“I’ve been scouting out the area to make sure we haven’t been followed. Pesta could have us surrounded in a second, so I don’t want to give her that edge. I need to keep you safe. It’s my only job, and I can’t fail this time.” He ran his hands through his thick hair, and I could tell he was tempering his words. “Something happened in Elvage before we left, and I haven’t been able to shake it. You know that guy they executed? Charles Mace?” He winced when he spoke the guy’s name.
“Yeah. Did you know him?”
Pain hit Jens anew, washing off all cockiness and coolness. “Yes, and I wasn’t all that great to him. He… he deserved better from me, and he died alone. He was a hero, but he went out a villain. I was supposed to protect him, to look after him. I didn’t do my job, and he died.”
Out of nowhere, the dam broke and Jens slumped down to his knees.
“Oh, Jens. There was nothing you could’ve done. He was controlling people with his whistle thing. It’s against the law. That’s got nothing to do with you.” He clung to my thighs and buried his head in my stomach. I was very aware that I was naked under the towel, but tried to push past it for the moment. “It’s not your responsibility to keep everyone you know alive.”
The Other Side Page 3