He dropped back down over her, holding himself over her on arms that trembled, as they both shook in the aftermath. When their breathing finally calmed some, he dropped down beside her, and she curled into him, kissing his chest before laying her head on it, uncaring of the sheen of sweat covering their bodies.
Nothing had ever felt as amazing as being loved by Luke, and she knew nothing else could even compare. Absolutely nothing.
“I’m so glad you were my first,” she mumbled sleepily once she had her breath back, her body completely boneless where it laid half draped over him.
He ran a hand over her undoubtedly tangled hair before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m glad I was, too. And I wish I could say the same.” He paused, and even though she thought she couldn’t possibly care for him more, she felt herself fall in love with him just a little bit more at his words. “I’m sorry I freaked out. It probably wasn’t exactly manly. I just can’t stand the thought of you in pain.”
Lifting her head, Tarun gazed into his eyes as she shook his head. “I think your reaction was manly. What could be more so than trying to keep the woman you’re with from feeling pain? I thought it was perfect. Besides, I know how protective you are of women, and it fit just right with that. So no worries. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy myself.”
His lips lifted in a smile, and satisfied she’d eased his mind, she laid her head back down and snuggled even closer, enjoying the rumble of his voice under her cheek. “I’m feeling pretty grateful that you’re not upset I wasn’t all alpha-ish.”
Closing her eyes, she laughed sleepily. “Not upset at all. I loved it. Loved… you.”
She heard him suck in a breath, but she didn’t wonder what it was about, already being pulled down into a peaceful, sated slumber, held tightly in the arms of the most amazing man she knew.
Luke was frozen, barely breathing. He glanced down at the top of Tarun’s head, but he was pretty sure she’d fallen asleep.
Had she just said she loved him?
Maybe she didn’t mean it in the all-consuming, forever type way that was made his heart jump in his chest when she said it. Maybe she just meant that she loved what he did to her physically.
After all, that’s what she’d been talking about, and the first thing she said was loved it, followed by loved you. Past tense. It probably wasn’t a declaration of her feelings for him.
Hell, she was falling asleep while she said it. It most likely didn’t mean anything at all.
Yawning, he scrubbed a hand over his face, careful to not jostle her. Fuck, he was exhausted, but he couldn’t help analyzing it.
Why did he care what exactly she said? Why had his heart leapt at first, then sank like a stone when he realized how she likely meant it?
His lion gave a derisive snort with a shake of his head, and strangely enough, that was when it hit him.
He’d wanted her to say it, to feel it, because he loved her.
When had that happened? He thought back over the course of the last few days, but he really had no fucking clue. There was no single moment that stood out to him more than others—they were all playing through his mind, all equally amazing.
Maybe that first day, when she stood up to him. Maybe when she flirted with him the first time. Maybe when he took her for a ride on his bike. Hell, maybe it was when she was pissed the fuck off at him and he thought he might have lost her over a misunderstanding.
The only thing he was fairly positive of was that it happened before he found out she was his mate.
It might be another thing that wasn’t all that manly, but he hoped she loved him back, or could grow to love him. He was thankful as fuck that his mate was someone he loved, though.
Having a mate and also loving them weren’t mutually inclusive. Having one didn’t mean a shifter was guaranteed to have the other. They could love as many as they wanted, but there would only ever be one true mate for them.
And having a mate didn’t mean they’d love them. The animal chose the mate, knowing instinctively who their best match was. The human fell in love with them—or not.
He’d known a few shifters who didn’t love their mates. They were compatible, of course. Their animals never would have chosen them if they weren’t. And they were always attracted to each other.
But compatibility and attraction by no means equaled love.
He was grateful his mate was someone he loved. It just didn’t mean she’d love him in return.
His eyes grew heavy, the exhaustion he felt overpowering his thoughts, even though they were important. Just as he drifted off, he decided it didn’t matter if she didn’t love him.
Because he was going to focus all his energy and effort into making sure he did all he could to give her every reason and opportunity to love him. If she never did, he’d learn to live with it, and just be grateful that he had her in his life. But he was going to give his all to making it happen.
He drifted off after that, but he didn’t think he’d been out long when he was suddenly jolted out of a sound sleep. He blinked, frowning into the darkness, wondering what had woken him up.
Get up. Now, he lion hissed.
Panic filled him and he immediately looked for Tarun. She’d moved away a little in her sleep, but he could see her breathing steadily and evenly. Relief filled him and he was just beginning to relax back into the mattress when he saw her frown, her nose twitching.
“What is that?” she whispered groggily, not bothering to open her eyes. “Is that smoke?”
He frowned harder, sniffing the air and sitting up sharply in the bed when he smelled it. It was smoke, and a lot of it, judging by how strong the smell was.
Get her the hell out of the building NOW, his animal roared.
“Fuck! Tarun, get up, now,” he ordered, raising his voice as he shot out of the bed.
She mumbled under her breath as he searched for his jeans and yanked them on. Looking frantically around, he spotted a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt draped on a chair and thrust them at her just as she sat up.
“Luke? What’s going on?”
Finding his shoes, he thrust his feet inside them as he looked at her with concern. She was far too groggy and out of it. He might have to drape a blanket around her and make a run for it.
“There’s a fire. We have to get out of here, now. You have to get dressed.”
To her credit, her eyes cleared of sleep quickly, and, looking far more alert than she had just moments ago, she shot to her feet and started pulling her clothes on.
“Where’s it at, do you know?” she asked as she frantically pulled her sports bra over her head, immediately yanking a shirt and the pants on.
“I don’t know; I haven’t looked. I just know we need to get out of here as quickly as we can.”
Before he’d finished talking, he’d tossed the pair of flip flops he’d spotted at her, thinking they’d be faster than her boots or sneakers.
She didn’t bat an eyelash, just shoved her feet in them at the same time she pulled the hair tie off her wrist and threw her long locks up in a messy bun. Snatching up a blanket, he walked to the door, cautiously opening it, knowing any influx of air would feed a fire.
“Is that wise? Bringing a flammable blanket near fire?” she asked, snatching up her purse and a jacket.
“It’s for you. If the fire’s too thick for you to walk through, I’m going to wrap you up in it and make a run for it.”
“Oh,” she said faintly, seeming off kilter from that statement. But a moment later, she’d shaken it off, standing next to him as he eased the door open.
He stuck his head out, eyes widening as he saw the fire down by his room. The red and orange flames were crackling loudly and spreading every second. Quickly running his eyes down each room in the hallway, he was relieved to see the doors to each Enforcer brother and sister standing open. They’d all made it out then, thank God.
“Okay,” he said, turning to Tarun. “The front is blocked by the fire,
but we can get to the back stairs. We’re going to make a run for it. Straight outside, baby, as fast as you can. I’ll be right behind you, but if for some reason I’m not there once you get outside, you find an Enforcer and you don’t leave their side. Got it?”
“Luke—”
“Got it?” he repeated, voice hard.
Features firming, hiding the fear that had been creeping across them, she nodded once, sharply. “Got it. Take care of yourself, no matter what happens.”
Leaning in, he kissed her once, quickly and hard, hoping everything he felt for her was right there on his lips. “I will. Now go!”
Tarun turned and began rushing down the stairwell. When she was close to the bottom, she paused, looking back at him. “Wait. We should have warned the other Enforcers! We need to go back.”
“No, it’s fine,” he replied quickly, motioning for her to keep going. “I looked, and their doors were all open.”
His mind flashed back to the glance he’d taken of the hall, and his feet slowed on the steps. All the doors had been open… except the door two down from his. His room had looked engulfed by the flames, so that room… fuck, it was going to go soon—if it hadn’t already.
Tarun turned back to him with a frown, like she had a direct line to his feelings and knew his worry just doubled. “What is it?”
He hesitated, not wanting to bring her name up but unable to find a way around it. “Georgie. The door to her room was closed. I’m just…”
“I get it. Go get her. I promise I’ll find an Enforcer and stick to them.”
“But you said—”
“These aren’t exactly normal circumstances, Luke. Besides, I trust you. Go save her, just be careful.”
Leaning up, she kissed him before turning and running down the stairs and outside. God, what a woman.
Turning, he took the stairs two at a time to get back upstairs, urgency washing over him. He looked down the hallway, heart dropping when he realized the flames had spread and were almost to the door of the room Georgie was in.
Crouching low to avoid the smoke, he made his way to the door and grabbed the doorknob, cursing when it burnt his hand. He didn’t have time to find something to use as a buffer. Fuck it. Bracing himself, he rammed his shoulder into the door. It took two tries before it splintered open, and he rushed inside, looking for Georgie.
He scanned the room, not seeing her at first and thinking she’d already gotten out. He was just about to leave when he heard a cough from the other side of the bed. Rushing over there, he found her sitting on the floor, crouched over and rubbing her ankle.
“The hell are you doing in here, Georgie? You have to be aware there’s a fire. Why didn’t you run and get out of here?”
She grimaced, looking up at him with tear streaks down her sooty cheeks. “I tried, but I think I twisted my ankle when I got out of bed. I can’t put any weight on it. I was just starting to crawl to the window to call out when you got here.”
“I’m gonna pick you up and carry you, okay? I have to crouch down away from the smoke, so it might be awkward. Hold on tightly and don’t let go.”
She looked at him with adoration in her eyes that made him uncomfortable. “I’ll never let go, Luke.”
Taking a breath, he ignored her words and stooped down, easing her into his arms. Keeping low while carrying her was awkward, but she was human. Inhaling smoke wouldn’t do much to him, because his shifter healing would kick in and take care of any damage quickly, but she didn’t have that advantage. It would be a lot worse for her.
As he carried her through the hallway and then down the stairs, his mind raced. He’d thought he’d made his lack of interest in her clear, but she obviously wasn’t really getting it. He hated to hurt her feelings, but he wasn’t sure it could be avoided at that point. He was going to have to explain to her that it wasn’t going to happen. It never was, but now that he found Tarun, it definitely wouldn’t.
They finally reached the outside, and he walked to a rock some distance away and sat her down. The Enforcers were fighting the fire as best they could as they waited for the fire department to show up. He glanced around, looking for Tarun, his heart in his throat until he saw her standing with Damara.
Assured she was fine, he joined the others in fighting the fire. By the time the fire department showed up and left, the fire out, he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to hold his mate close.
He was about to do just that when Blake approached him, looking even wearier than he felt. “I just did a walk through. The bar and restaurant are fine, as are most of the bedrooms, although they’ll need a thorough cleaning.”
“That’s good, though. I’m glad the whole clubhouse wasn’t destroyed.”
Blake exhaled as he glanced up at the second story before meeting Luke’s eyes again. “The most damage was to the rooms next to yours. And yours… well, it was destroyed. The fire started there, Luke. And your door was barricaded from the outside. Whoever started it didn’t intend for you to make it out alive. The only thing that saved you was being in Tarun’s room.”
Ice flooded his veins as he stared at Blake. He glanced up at the scorched wall where his room was and then looked over at Tarun.
Fuuuuuck.
He wasn’t so worried about himself, but his mate… if they’d decided to go to his room instead of hers, she could have died. The realization sat like a fifty-pound lead weight in his stomach as he looked between her and his room.
And whoever started the fire could be watching them right now. He could be close, ready to strike.
His lion hissed and roared inside him, and Luke only had one thought. He could protect her so much better as his animal than he could as a human.
Without any real conscious thought from him, he felt himself hunch over, and the sound of his bones breaking and reforming echoed throughout the backyard, accompanied by a blinding flash of pain as the transformation completed.
It all happened within the blink of an eye, and then he was on all fours, his huge paws planted on the ground as he shook his mane out. Eyes locked on his mate, he stalked slowly toward her.
Tarun watched as the sky lightened, the sun slowly beginning to rise. Brow wrinkling with concern, she looked at Luke, still in lion form, pacing back in forth in front of her. He’d been like that for a couple hours now, but it was going to be daylight soon. He had to shift back before uninitiated humans saw him.
But she couldn’t get him to change back. Nothing she said worked.
The humans who’d seen it, like the police officers who’d shown up, knew about the existence of shifters. Whenever there was a large grouping, especially those who did the kind of work the Enforcers did, it was always a good idea to let some humans in key fields in on the secret. But soon, there would be investigators there who didn’t know. He had to shift back, before they showed up.
She glanced over at Georgie. Well, almost all of the humans had already known. Georgie apparently hadn’t, and she was a blubbering mess. Damara was trying to talk her down, but the waitress kept sending fear filled glances Luke’s way, and Tarun knew that as long as he was in animal form, Georgie wouldn’t relax.
He might scare her, but to Tarun, he was magnificent. His lion was huge, thickly muscled with paws the size of dinner plates. His tawny fur was shiny, even in the dark, and his mane was glorious. The fur surrounding his face was a golden color, a few shades darker than his eyes, and the rest of the mane was jet black. He was tall, his head coming almost up to her shoulder. She was short, so it wasn’t really a surprise, but she still thought he was on the bigger side for a lion.
He was breathtakingly beautiful. She could look at him in that form forever, she really could, but he needed to shift back.
Walking closer, she waited until he was next to her and then draped her arm around his powerful neck, making him stop his pacing. He huffed, sitting next to her, and she couldn’t resist leaning into his side.
“I’m okay, you know. And there’s n
o threat right now. Look around. If there was, do you think the Enforcers would be this casual?”
She reached over and ran a hand through his mane. He snorted as he looked around, and then leaned into her touch, not making a move to shift back.
“And look at poor Georgie. You’re really freaking her out.”
He glanced over to where Georgie was watching him, her nerves obvious, and then he huffed again as he turned back. Tarun could tell it was a sound of amusement and she smacked him on his big shoulder.
“Don’t be an ass. Imagine how scary it is for a human to find out about us. Especially when the human in question finds out because the man she likes turned into a gigantic lion in front of her, with no warning.”
Turning his massive head, he gave her a considering look, before glancing around. She thought she knew what he was looking for, so she picked up the sweat pants on the bench behind her.
“Here. Everything in your room is toast, but Noah fetched these for you earlier. He’s close to you in size, so they should fit.”
She held her breath as he stared at them, finally letting it out with relief when he hunched, the sound of his bones breaking echoing through the air. A moment later, he was standing on his human feet again, and he reached for the sweats, pulling them on quickly.
The moment they were on, he took her into his arms, holding her tightly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even shift consciously. I was thinking I needed to protect you and it would be easier in animal form, and then the next thing I knew, I was a lion. I couldn’t make myself shift back. It would kill me if anything happened to you.”
She squeezed him tightly. “I know the feeling, but I think we’re okay for now. Besides, we’re surrounded by people and shifters. It’s okay.”
Blake called Luke’s name, and he hugged her tighter before pulling back to kiss her. “I better go see what he wants. Please don’t wander away. Stay with the group.”
Control (Blood & Bone Enforcers MC Book 1) Page 10