by Jenika Snow
There was no way she would leave Rys alone. The girl would want that happily ever after, and Jane couldn’t blame her, not in the least. That was what really hurt, and that was why she was having such a hard time with this. She just knew if she went back with them and opened up her heart again, it would just end up getting broken once more. Rys would leave her to be with Christa, and even though she’d still have William, her sweet, sweet William, it would be like looking at Rys. Thinking like that wasn’t fair to William.
She could never just be with one of them, had never envisioned herself only being with one Holden twin.
Taking a deep breath at the sight of Rys out the window, she felt tears prick her eyes. The smell of lilacs filled her senses, and she knew her mother held another bouquet. Rys stopped when he got to his truck and dropped his head. He stood like that for several seconds, and her heart broke more. God, she missed them terribly. It was like her heart was getting ripped from her chest. When his head lifted and he looked over his shoulder, their eyes connected.
Her chest ached something terrible at the hopelessness in his gaze. He said so much with that look, and she had to force herself to turn away from the window. She would always have that image of him ingrained in her head.
She dragged herself to the kitchen table and sat down. Moments later, she heard his diesel truck starting up and then fading in the distance. Her mother set the flowers and Jane’s cell phone in front of her.
“Look at me, sweetie.”
Lifting her eyes, Jane stared into her mom’s face. “You need to wake up, Jane honey. Life sometimes throws you a curveball, but you have to move on. You have to pick up the broken pieces, put them back together as best as you can, and start over. It’ll be hard. We both know that, and I know how painful it is, but life is too short to throw away the love that the three of you have.” She cupped Jane’s cheek and smiled. “I threw away my life on a man who wasn’t worthy. The only good thing that came out of my marriage to Charles was you, darling. Don’t give up on those boys, because they will never give up on you.”
Her mother kissed her on the forehead and turned to leave. Jane watched her go. She had never heard her mother admit that her marriage to her father was a mistake. There had been sadness and conviction in her mom’s words but truth also. She needed time to think, needed to sort out being with William and Rys. Knowing one of them would be having a baby, a baby who wasn’t hers, was a lot to take in. She loved those two for as long as she could remember. Jane had pictured a life with them, one that included a family.
Yeah, it was a lot to take in. She didn’t really want to deal with it right now; that was for sure. Looking at the flowers again, she let her fingers graze over the purple petals. Her phone lay in front of her. It was turned off, because the texts and calls from Rys and William had been too much for her to cope with. She turned it on, and a series of beeps alerted her to the numerous texts and voicemails. She opened up her messages, and texts from Rys and Will popped up. She read through them, tears prickling her eyes.
Will: Janey, please don’t shut us out. I know things are hard right now, but we need to talk.
Rys: Please, baby, please talk to me. I keep going over and asking to see you, but your mom says you’re not ready. Please, baby.
Will: Janey, not seeing or talking to you is harder than hell. Please, please give Rys a chance to explain.
Rys: I miss you, baby.
Will: God, Janey, I miss you so damn much.
Rys: We love you, Jane, and we will not let you go.
The last one was from Rys and sent just a few moments ago. There was so much conviction in his words that she knew he meant every word. Turning the phone back off, she grabbed her coffee and finished it. She had work in an hour, and sitting here thinking about how much she just wanted to go over to their house and wrap her arms around them would only make it one very long day.
Chapter 26
Half her shift was done, and Jane was doing a pretty good job not thinking so much about the Holden boys. Oh, who the hell was she kidding? All she had been thinking about was them. Her resolve to stay away had pretty much evaporated. She missed them too damn much to let this come between them. She would have to find a way to get over it, to get through it. Rys and William meant too much to her for her to just throw it all away.
They had been there for her during the hardest times of her life, and how was she paying them back? Pushing them away when things got tough made her a selfish bitch. Feeling a sudden burst of joy, she couldn’t wait until her shift was over, because she was going right to their house to tell them she was being a childish, selfish girl and that she hoped they could move on with their lives, because that was what she wanted to do more than anything… move on with their life, together.
She set a plate of chicken fingers and a burger down at a table in her section and turned to head back to the counter. Movement in her peripheral vision caught her attention, and she turned to see Trevor and Missy on the other side of the front window. Their discussion was heated by the way Missy kept pointing her finger in his chest.
Trevor’s face was a dark shade of red, and he kept looking around as if he was afraid their little tiff would be heard. Jane couldn’t hear what was being said, but when Trevor started advancing on Missy, bringing back a slew of horrid memories from her date with him, Jane took a step forward, intent on protecting a woman who had done nothing but start shit with her. Missy shoved him away and stormed into Slick’s. She took one look at Jane, scowled, and stalked over to a table in her section. Of course.
Well, shit, now she had to deal with Missy in a shitty mood. Steeling herself, she walked over to Missy and stood at the table. “What can I get for you?” Jane kept her gaze steady when Missy glowered at her.
“Just give me a Coke.” Missy speared her hands through her hair and looked away.
Jane didn’t stick around, just got the drink and went back to waiting on her other tables. Several hours passed with Missy doing nothing but sitting at the booth, sucking down the free refills. The numerous times Jane asked if Missy wanted anything else, Missy responded curtly and told her to fuck off. Jane left her the hell alone. But just because she told Jane to leave her alone, that didn’t stop Missy from glaring at her for the rest of her shift. Awkward didn’t even begin to describe the situation.
Whatever she and Trevor fought about, it was sticking with Missy and making her rude and bitchy. When Jane’s shift ended, she was anxious to see the guys. She admitted she had been acting like a fool, letting all of this get between them. No doubt, it would be hard for all of them if it really did turn out that Rys had fathered Christa’s baby, but they wouldn’t know for sure until Christa had the baby and they did a DNA test. Jane knew this was going to be the hardest months of her life, but she wanted to get through it with Rys and William.
It was already dark by the time she grabbed her purse and said goodbye to Lonnie. She glanced at Missy’s table and relaxed when she saw she had finally decided to leave. The little bell above the door dinged when she exited. Her piece-of-shit car sat right under the lone parking lot light in full view.
“Jane.”
Jane whirled around and stared at Missy. She was against the side of the building, her leg cocked on the brick. A cigarette hung from her lips, and she inhaled deeply. The end lit up a bright orange. Nothing more was said, and Jane didn’t know if she should ignore Missy and go to her car or see what she wanted. Obviously, Missy had something on her mind, but Jane didn’t know if it was something she wanted to hear. She really wasn’t in the mood to hear her shit, especially if it had to do with Trevor.
“Come here.”
Jane held her purse tighter and glanced around. She wasn’t afraid of Missy, but it was no secret the girl was a dirty fighter. Jane, on the other hand, wasn’t a fighter at all. She was fine being pleasantly ignorant in her bubble of safety. She had been roughed up enough by her father to last a lifetime.
Missy exhaled almost as if
she were annoyed over Jane’s refusal to move. She inhaled deeply once more, flicked the butt away, and pushed off the wall. “Seriously, I’m not gonna beat you up or anything. I just want to talk to you.”
“Listen, Missy, I’m tired and really not in the mood for Trevor bullshit.”
Missy stared at her hard, but it wasn’t the hateful glare Jane was accustomed too. When she exhaled this time, it sounded more sad than anything else. “I was going to talk to you in there”—she tilted her head toward Slick’s—“but I know how nosy these damn people are, so I thought maybe we could talk in your car?”
Missy didn’t sound like her normal demanding, bitchy self, which confused and intrigued Jane. What the hell could Missy really tell her? After a suspended moment, Jane nodded and made her way toward her car. The sound of Missy’s heels clicking on the pavement was loud in the otherwise silent parking lot. They climbed into her car, and Jane rolled the window down to let some of the cool air in. They sat in silence for several minutes, and Jane could tell Missy was struggling with whatever it was she was trying to say. Jane didn’t rush her, because she knew whatever bomb was about to be dropped was clearly hard for Missy to say.
“Listen…” Missy cursed under her breath and turned in her seat, staring right in Jane’s eyes. “I know about all the drama with Rys and Christa. Fuck, the whole damn town knows, because Christa thinks everyone should hear her business.”
Jane knew as much. It was hard hearing the gossip all around her, the whispers about one of the Holden twins finally settling down, like Christa getting knocked up by Rys Holden was the hottest news. It was infuriating, especially since there was no proof he had even fathered her baby.
“Everyone knows you and the twins are together. I mean, the way they look at you, touch you when they think no one is watching, it is all so obvious, and half the women in Ecstasy wish they were you.”
That surprised Jane so much her head cocked back. People are jealous of me? “What?”
Missy rolled her eyes. “Oh, you heard me, and you know damn well it’s the truth.” Silence fell upon them once again before Missy said, “Christa isn’t pregnant with Rys’s baby.” Jane felt her lips part at Missy’s words. She wouldn’t look at Jane, but the way she twisted her hands in her lap gave away the fact that she was nervous. “The two of them never even had sex. She lied, knowing he’d been so drunk that night that he couldn’t be sure if they slept together or not.”
“How… I mean, how do you know that?” Everything inside her was lighting up at Missy’s words. She really shouldn’t trust Missy, not since she’d been a conniving bitch since they were in grade school, but Missy’s whole demeanor was so foreign that Jane knew the woman was telling the truth.
“Christa showed up at Trevor’s one night, which pissed me the hell off, because everyone knows what a slut she is.” Jane didn’t correct Missy on the fact that she was… promiscuous as well. “She was belligerent, spouting off that he couldn’t just throw her away after what he did to her. We finally got rid of her ass, and at that point, I was pissed as hell. I wanted to know what was going on, and by the way he was acting, I knew it wasn’t good.” She blew out a breath and glanced out the passenger window. “I thought we were in a good spot in our relationship.” She snorted at her own comment.
Jane didn’t bother telling her that her boyfriend had mauled her over a month ago in the back of his car. Trevor had turned into a piece of shit over the years, but he acted better, nicer to her. It had all just been a ploy.
Missy might be a bitch, but she wasn’t stupid. She knew how Trevor was, and Jane had no idea why the hell she wanted anything to do with him.
“Of course, he wouldn’t tell me anything, just said it wasn’t a problem and she wouldn’t be bothering us anymore. I let it go, but a few weeks after that, when Christa made that spectacle at Brooklyn’s, Trevor came home sloshed.”
Jane didn’t question how Missy knew what happened at Brooklyn’s. After Christa dropped her little bomb, everyone in the whole town and probably the neighboring ones knew what went down.
“I hadn’t forgotten about Christa coming to the house and hadn’t heard what happened at Brooklyn’s, so when I saw him drunk, I knew that was when I’d get the answers I wanted.”
Jane wanted to tell her to hurry the hell up, that she had shit to do, like go see Rys and William, but until Missy finished telling her whatever it was she was trying to say, Jane would sit quietly and patiently.
Missy chuckled humorlessly and turned her attention back to Jane. “He admitted to fucking Christa numerous times. The asshole didn’t even wear a condom.” Despite the anger in Missy’s voice, Jane didn’t miss the tears that started to slip out the corners of her eyes. The need to comfort Missy was strong, but Jane knew it wouldn’t be a welcome gesture. “He didn’t even deny knocking her up. Can you fucking believe that?” Missy sniffed and brushed the tears away. “He just told me that he wasn’t about to be tied down to a kid.”
Not that Jane didn’t desperately need to believe what Missy said, but she found herself asking, “How do you know he’s telling the truth?”
Missy gave Jane an incredulous look and then shook her head. “Because I confronted the bitch myself. The two of them had slept together while Trevor and I were supposed to be ‘exclusive.’ She said she hadn’t slept with anyone but him during that time.” When Jane didn’t respond, Missy continued in a smaller voice, “She told me if Trevor wasn’t willing to man up, she’d find someone who would, someone who wouldn’t turn his back on her when the baby came.”
“But if she is so sure Trevor is the father and she didn’t sleep with anyone else during that time, why would she try to pin it on Rys?”
“Come on, Jane. It isn’t that hard to alter how far along you really are by a few weeks. What guy is going to be smart enough to realize that?” Jane sat there in stunned silence as she processed what Missy just told her. “I told him I was going to tell you, that it wasn’t right to blame this on someone else. We fought outside of Slick’s before I came in. I was a bitch, because I was so upset with him, with how he acts and how he treats people. I should have told you when I first found out, but I didn’t know how to tell you.” To Jane’s utter surprise for the umpteenth time that night, Missy grabbed Jane’s hand. “I’ve been a bitch and a horrible person. I don’t want to be the person who stands back and watches three people’s lives ruined.” Missy dipped her head and whispered, “I was just going to turn my head and let Rys take the heat for it. I didn’t want that for our life, but I realized Trevor isn’t the man I thought he was.” Missy lifted her head and smiled sadly. “I’ve been cruel to you, and I’m sorry. So sorry.” Missy gave her hand one more squeeze before getting out of the car and shutting the door with a soft click.
Jane watched her disappear into the shadows. For several long moments, all she could do was stare into the darkness. Rys hadn’t fathered Christa’s baby. He’d been telling the truth, and she hadn’t let him fully tell his side of the story, because she’d let her emotions control her.
She had no reason to doubt what Missy said. In fact, she would have assumed Missy would confirm her fear that Rys was, in fact, the father.
The sound of her heart beating in her ears drew her out of her thoughts. She turned her car on and headed out into the street with one destination in mind. William’s and Rys’s house.
Chapter 27
Jane turned off the car and sat there for a moment. All the lights were on despite the fact that it was close to midnight. She knew they had work in the morning, so she questioned why in the world they were still up. The need to get out of her car was strong, but there was also a hesitant part of her that was afraid to make that move.
For days, she’d avoided them. It had been the hardest time since their relationship had escalated. They’d been inseparable, and now she was sitting outside their house after pushing them away so many times. Had they ever pushed her away? No. Never.
Steeling herself,
Jane made her way out of the car and up the steps of the porch. The screen door was open, which she thought a bit odd, even if the weather was nice. It was almost midnight, for God’s sake! The sound of raised voices came out of the house, and Jane froze, not knowing if she should make her presence known.
“What in the hell am I supposed to do, Will?” Rys’s voice was raised and came out like a rough growl.
“How the hell am I supposed to know? You’re the one who fucked up, and now I have to pay for it.”
The sound of heavy footfalls pacing the length of a wooden floor filled the sudden silence. “You don’t think I’m suffering here as well? She won’t see me either,” Rys growled. “I didn’t fucking sleep with Christa. She’s a lying bitch.”
She’d never heard the twins fight before, not like this, not with so much anger moving between them.
“I’ve told you a million different times that I can’t be the father of Christa’s baby. There is just no way. I don’t care what she says. I didn’t fuck her.”
“You were drunk. Passed out, I’m sure. And what if you are, Rys? How do you think that is going to make Janey feel? You think she’s going to want you then? What about me?”
“What about you? You aren’t the one who lost the most important person in your life.”
“No?” Jane had never heard Will’s voice so loud and rage-filled before. “You’re my fucking identical twin. She can’t look at you right now, because you broke her heart. I am unfortunate enough to look just like you, and now she doesn’t want anything to do with me either.” Heavy breathing followed William’s words. “So, yeah, Rys. I’ve lost the person that means the world to me. I’ve lost the woman I love, because you can’t keep your dick in your pants.”
Rys’s laughter was anything but humorous. “Don’t get all high and fucking mighty on me.”