by Emma Vikes
Leo’s thumb traced my lips, his eyes flickering briefly to them. “You don’t. I wish I had something- a promise, maybe- that I could tell you to assure you that this isn’t going to hurt but I can’t. All I can tell you is that maybe this time, love can be enough.”
I was melting into a puddle again, my heart opening its doors for Leo Hudson to come back in because of his words and charm, the warmth that I’d desperately missed. My feelings were hanging on a thin thread and I was slowing losing grasp on rationality, on the part that told me no because this was the man who broke your heart once, that there was no assurance that he wouldn’t break your heart for the second time.
But either way, I was going to lose him still and even if this had been brief, it reawakened a part of my heart that I had thought had been dead for so long and I wasn’t sure if I was willing to lose that part again, the part that made me feel like sunlight- alive and warm and I’d met so many people in the last seven years and none of them ever made me feel like that.
“I can’t give you my whole heart. You’ll break it again.”
“Then even if it’s just half, I’ll take it. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give.”
CHAPTER 12
Leo
The shower was running when I woke up. I glanced at the digital alarm clock on Eleanor’s bedside. The time read 5:15 AM. It was too early for her to wake up after last night. Usually, she woke up at around 6:00, made breakfast for the three of us, and woke up Max if he was still asleep or me if I was, and then took a shower and got ready for work, leaving me and Max in the house and then arriving just before dinner.
It’d been two weeks since Eleanor and I were together, err, unofficially together. There was still a fine line that couldn’t be crossed. Her heart was still taped with ‘caution’ and even if we’d taken a step to the next level with what we had- at least she didn’t hate me and pushed me away- and even if we’d sex- and by that we’d sex a lot- there was still a ‘do not enter’ sign on her heart and if her heart was a door, I was still waiting outside.
I got out of the bed and didn’t even bother to find where my boxers were. The bathroom door was open and I can see her silhouette through the fogged glass door. Slowly, I opened it and sucked in a breath. Eleanor stood with her back turned against me, her hair filled with shampoo and her arms were on her head, fingers sliding through her hair as she rubbed the shampoo in. I could already feel my dick hardening even more at the sight of her.
“Ellie.” My voice sounded like a strangled whisper and Ellie jumped slightly, only realizing that I was behind her. She turned around and then smiled lazily at me as she approached me, her eyes briefly flickering on my erection.
Her hand reached for my dick, gently squeezing and I sucked in a sharp breath, glaring at her because her hand was so cold. “Fuck, Ellie.”
Eleanor smirked and I felt another cold hand on my balls and I squeezed my eyes shut as she began to pump me, her mouth on my skin as she nibbled on my ear up and then moved downwards, her teeth grazing my skin making me shiver in delight and pleasure. “God damn it, Eleanor.”
I hissed when she squeezed my dick and then jerked me hard. I was already breathing hard at this point and Eleanor pressed her lips against mine, biting my bottom lip gently and dragging it down, kissing my throat after. My eyes were shut tight and I could feel the impending climax, I let out a loud groan when I reached my climax.
Eleanor had a smirk of satisfaction on her face when she saw me cum and I growled low in my throat, grabbing her harshly and pushing her against the wall. She gasped at my urgency and clung to me tightly, wrapping her legs around my waist as I pushed myself inside of her without preamble, making her gasp loudly at the sudden intrusion.
She clung to me tight, moaning and saying my name repeatedly and my hand was clamped on her mouth, making sure that she didn’t scream or else we would wake up Max. “Shit, shit, shit, Leo!”
Eleanor bit my shoulder and I resisted the urge to scream as she shivered beneath me, riding her climax and after a few thrusts, I came after her, pulling out just in time. We were both breathing hard and when we looked at each other; she was shaking her head in disbelief, staring at the bite mark on my shoulder. “That’s going to leave a mark.”
I glanced at it and shrugged, grabbing the shampoo and slathering a handful before applying it on my hair. “At least they’ll know I’m telling the truth that I’m taken.”
Eleanor grabbed the soap and then proceeded to rub it against me. I stopped her from doing so. “What? I’m helping.”
I shook my head. “Keep doing that and we’ll be here all day.”
She laughed and then began to rinse herself. “You really can’t keep it to yourself, Hudson.”
“How can I when I’m under the same roof as you?” I called out after her as she got out of the shower. Grabbing a towel, I followed her out of the bathroom. She was in her robe and applying lotion on her body. She turned and caught me staring at her and shook her head in amusement.
“Keep it in your pants, Hudson, we have a child in the house,” Eleanor teased as she slipped into her work clothes and started on her makeup. I opened the lower drawer in her closet where my clothes were and pulled out fresh jeans and a shirt. I’d been over at theirs so much and Eleanor and I had started to get comfortable around each other again to the point that I actually felt like I was living with them. Half of my closet was already here and I wasn’t even sure at what point it started to happen but neither of us commented on it and she didn’t seem to mind.
My phone buzzed on the bedside table and I grabbed it. Eleanor was already downstairs and I decided to check on the emails I’d received. There was one from Maddock and with furrowed eyebrows, I swiped on my phone to open it.
From: Steve Maddock
Leo!
I tried contacting you on your phone since last month but you must’ve changed your number. I’m back in America for the month. You’re still in Irving, right? I’ll be in Irving this week. I’m hoping we can meet up. For old time’s sake?
Much regards,
Steve
I pursed my lips and stared at the email, unsure why Steve sent it to me in the first place given that I wasn’t on good terms with him when I resigned. He didn’t want me to resign. I was one of his best photographers and he won awards because of the shots I took, discrediting me. I didn’t mind it, really, but he made a big deal out of it when I passed him my resignation letter, thinking that I was leaving them because I felt entitled to the credit that technically was supposed to be mine when the reason was because I realized at that point of my life that I hadn’t been there for my family as much as I should’ve been.
There was another email regarding the studio I just bought. The money was already escrowed to the seller and all that was left to do was to sign the papers so the place was legally mine. I blinked as I read the email as it stated that the agreement had been put on hold by the seller and that it needed to be discussed personally. What the hell?
I pocketed my phone when I heard Eleanor calling me from the stairs. It was already around 6:30 and I could already hear Max running downstairs. I got out of the room and spotted Eleanor and Max being playful with each other by the stairs. My heart melted at the sight and I rushed back in the room and grabbed my camera, taking a quick snap of the moment. They both looked at me when the camera flashed.
“Paparazzi in the house!” Max squealed playfully, pointing a finger at me. His stutter was getting better through therapy and I would get him to read poetry before getting him ready for school. I placed the camera on my face again and then Max’s laughter filled the house as I playfully took shots of him as Eleanor tried to hold him in place, laughing as he tried to free himself from her grasp but he was laughing too much that he didn’t have the strength to do so.
“Okay, okay! C’mon boys, we have to eat now or else I’ll be late for my trial!” Eleanor complained but she still had a grin on her face. I wrapped my arms around M
ax, the camera set aside as we both pouted as we looked at her.
“But where’s the fun in that?” I asked, looking at her playfully and Eleanor shook her head, rolling her eyes as she tugged at Max.
“Oh my big baby boys, such headaches you give,” Eleanor muttered under her breath as she tried to pull the two of us into the kitchen. My heart skipped a beat at what she said. She’s been doing that a lot lately, regarding us as her boys and I couldn’t help but feel that I suddenly had a family and there was this part of me that really liked it and then there was this other part that raised a red flag, the warning going off in my head because I didn’t really sign up to be a father overnight.
But then I’d see Max and I would rather be his Dad than anyone else’s.
The three of us sat in our respective seats during breakfast and Max was telling us about the dream he had when Eleanor’s phone rang. She answered it on the third ring. “Hello?”
And then I watched as her face transformed and a huge smile was on her face. “Red! You haven’t called in ages.”
My heart sank as I watched her leave the table and head to the living room to get some privacy for the conversation. Beside me, Max was unfazed. I nudged him. “Who’s Red?”
Max looked up and shrugged. “It’s Jared...back in Miami. He’s like...he’s like you. He’s always...around.”
His answer made me inhale deeply, my heart racing. Could Jared...Red...could he be Max’s Dad? But if he was, then why did it seem like Max didn’t really care that much? Then there was Eleanor who seemed to be thrilled for him to call. The last time I overheard their conversation, she seemed happy to be talking to him too.
Then again, if she had Jared, what did that make me?
Eleanor came back with a big smile on her face and sat back down. She touched Max’s hand and said, “Jared’s coming here to Irving. We’ll have dinner with him later!”
Max grinned back at his Mom excitedly. “Really? How...long will he be staying...here?”
Eleanor shrugged. “He said that he has a client he has to meet here. Probably for a week or two.”
“Yay! I’ve missed him!”
I cleared my throat and Eleanor looked at me, raising an eyebrow. I smiled, trying to tamper down the jealousy that was simmering in my blood. “Jared?”
She nodded. “Yea, he’s a good friend of ours back in Miami. Actually, he also used to live in Irving and he was really of help when I was pregnant with Max.”
I was still completely unaware of the whole pregnancy story. I hadn’t asked her but there had been so many times that I wanted to but somehow, Eleanor managed to divert the topic. It was clear that what happened to her during the time that she was pregnant with Max wasn’t easy and it seemed as if it was a scar that she didn’t want to relive.
Whoever got her pregnant was such an asshole for letting her go through it alone.
Eleanor finished her breakfast and got up, just as the alarm on her phone went off. She rushed to place her plate on the sink and kissed the top of Max’s head and giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I have to go. Trial is set at 8:30 and I have to be there an hour earlier to prepare.”
Nodding my head, I stood up and saw her out the door. I grabbed her wrist before she could leave and pulled her to me, smashing my lips against hers and pressing her against the door, quickly inserting my tongue in her mouth and making her moan by how heated the kiss was getting. She pressed a firm hand on my chest and pushed me away, her eyes glinting with the same desire that reflected the one I felt.
We could still hear Max in the kitchen, his cutlery clashing against the porcelain plate. Eleanor wiped a lipstick mark on the side of my mouth and smiled slightly. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Just wanted to remind you that I,” I wanted to say that she was mine but I remembered how unofficial what we had was but that didn’t mean that she didn’t know what I felt for her, “love you.”
Eleanor touched my cheek and smiled, kissing me lightly on the lips. “Thank you.”
“One day, you’re going to reply that you love me too.”
She patted my cheek but didn’t say anything. I let her go, watching her get in her car and backing out of the driveway. I went back inside the house and washed the dishes while Max waited for me until we could play basketball and right after, he showered and began to get ready for school as I prepared breakfast. My phone rang with a notification again and it was another email from Maddock, asking me if we could meet and giving me his number.
I knew Maddock well enough to know that he wouldn’t stop sending me emails until I met up with him so I texted the number he sent me and gave him a café we could meet at. He was already there by the time I arrived. He stood up to greet me and he hadn’t changed a bit. Steve Maddock was a man in his mid-50’s, tall and well-built, his blonde hair tied in a ponytail and a gold chain on his neck.
“Ah, Leo! It’s been so long.”
I sat down across from him and ignored the waiter who came to take my order. I leaned closer on the table, looking at Maddock. The last conversation we had, he was threatening to sue me of copyright but he didn’t push it through because I wanted nothing to do with the pictures I took for him and his brand. “What do you want, Steve?”
He cocked his head to the side and ‘tsk-ed’ at me. “You treat me as if we didn’t spend six years together in a rain forest. We won many awards together too, you know.”
I chuckled humourlessly and shook my head. “You won many awards, Steve. I just took pictures. Isn’t that our agreement?”
His eyes narrowed and he let out a dramatic sigh. “Can’t we put past grudges behind us, Leo? I only did that because I didn’t want you to leave the team.”
“Because you wouldn’t have won had I not been there,” I replied haughtily, smirking at him. He could threaten to sue me all he wanted but it didn’t change the fact that I was the reason his brand grew even more. He was spiralling into insignificance at that point and National Geographic was ready to drop him in no time because he continued to tarnish his own reputation.
I was his saving grace.
Steve clenched his hands on the table but kept his calm. I knew him well enough to know that he wanted something from me. “You still have a spot on the team.”
That was seriously the last thing that I expected from him. I stared at him, unblinking, collecting myself before replying to what he just said. “Thank you but sorry, I have my own studio already. Just a few more months and I’ll be running my own business. It’s small but we have to start somewhere, don’t we?”
Steve nodded his head slowly and then leaned back on his chair. “Pity, you were such a loss.”
“That’s the only compliment you’ve ever given me.”
He shrugged and then placed his cup back on the table as he looked at me intently. “The gallery show that I’ll be holding here in Irving. I want you to be a part of it. Your work, the ones when you were still with us and even the others that you did in your spare time.”
My eyes narrowed as I looked at Steve wearily. He wasn’t the best boss. After he took credit for my work, I’d grown weary of him. He always had his own agenda. “What’s in it for me?”
Again, Steve simple shrugged. “You’re one of the finest photographers America has to offer, Leo. It’s a talent worthy to be seen. We have sponsors from all over the world coming. Think about it, Leo, you can make your own brand.”
Eyebrows furrowed with confusion and suspicion, I leaned closer on the table. “What’s your agenda, Steven?”
He smiled, an eerie smile that made the hair on my arms stand. “Can’t I help out an old colleague? Take it as a thank you for all the pictures that you allowed me to take credit for. Think about it, Leo. You already have a name, but what’s a name to a line of voluntary sponsors? You’ll be bigger than any other photographer in this world. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”
CHAPTER 13
Eleanor
My phone buzzed from a m
essage sent by Leo telling me that he couldn’t pick up Max from school since he had something urgent that just came up. I quickly typed in a response and then deleted the entire text a minute later because Leo didn’t elaborate the urgent matter that came up. Usually, he did. Leo had torn down all walls he had and literally stripped himself vulnerable for me to see the sincerity of what he felt for me. I didn’t exactly ask for him to do that but then again, given what had happened to us before, maybe Leo had thought that I needed the assurance that it was real this time.
I mean, he hadn’t left and that was seriously the most important thing for me. Whatever coldness I tried to have for him, he thawed it and warmed my heart again, and bringing back the warmth that felt like sunlight in my being that only Leo had the ability to bring out. I was brought back to this familiar comfort and security and bubble of love that Leo enclosed me with and if this was a dream, there was a part of me that never really wanted to wake up.
Still, I was aware that I was treading on dangerous waters. After all, this was Leo Hudson, the first person to ever break my heart. Be fooled once, shame on the one who did so, be fooled twice, shame on me.
My phone vibrating in my hand snapped me out of my thoughts. When I looked down, it was Leo calling. I immediately answered, “Hey.”
“Hey. Did you get my text? You didn’t respond so I just thought that you might not be able to pick him up.”
I played with the pen on my desk as my secretary came in and dropped me the new case I should be working on after winning the previous one. “I did. I was typing a response. What’s the urgent matter?”
At first, Leo didn’t respond for a little while and all I could hear was his breathing and then he let out a deep exhale and said, “It’s just the studio I bought. The money I escrowed seemed to have been put on hold.”