“Yes, essentially. They’re shipped in as embryos from Centauri B. Technically, they’re a genetically modified race of symbiotes, unable to survive without being bonded to a higher lifeform.”
“So, they’re not animals?”
“Well, not exactly, but it’s a bit of a grey area. Every new civilization we discover has a different way of classifying life... so we’re finding more and more grey areas. If the difference between animals and people is intelligence, then no, they are not animals. They are definitely not the animals they appear to be... the embryos are implanted in either a cougar, wolf or bear and so the young are born mimicking their surrogate mother’s form.”
“What do they really look like?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure if anyone does, or if they even have their own unique forms. The Centaurians likely know, but they claim that Shifters as they are now only exist in labs, and only survive with a bonded host.”
How could I not have known all this? I took the simple, one-line public statement and never bothered to ask questions. I never even tried to learn who he really was, I just accepted that he was there to serve me and didn’t care about anything deeper.
I brace my fingers against my temples, rubbing at the pressure building behind my eyes.
“By three months of age, the bond with their surrogate mother fades. If they don’t bond with another at that point, they experience rapidly deteriorating health and death within a week or two, at most. Once bonded, they very quickly learn the language, thought patterns, and even cultural nuances of their bondmate. Their growth, both physical and psychological, accelerates dramatically until they are at par, then slows and keeps pace. No matter what species they bond with, their lifespans will sync. When the host dies, the Shifter experiences brain death within about forty-eight hours.”
I can’t sit still anymore. I slide out of the bed and give in to the urge to pace the floor.
“I’m sorry. I’m being insensitive. I shouldn’t be talking about this, I just wanted-”
“No.” My voice carries a shrill edge that gives away how desperate I am. Desperate to know everything about him, to know that what we had was real... to turn back time and tell him... “I need to know.”
She nods her understanding, but when she continues her voice is a shade lower.
“I questioned why Shifters couldn’t take human form. They seemed to be designed to grow and take the form of their bondmate. It seemed obvious to me, but every time I brought it up, I was given the same speech as everyone else. It doesn’t work. It causes insanity. It’s illegal because of the danger to the public. I wanted to look deeper, focus my research, but I was denied at every turn.
I told Isaac what I thought. I told him that there appeared to be no reason Shifters couldn’t take human form. I told him it seemed to me that taking their bondmate’s form was a natural part of their growth, and my theory on why there was such a vast cover up about the whole thing. He got angrier than I’ve ever seen him. He told me to let it go and never bring it up again. I tried to argue with him, but he... that was the first time he hit me.” She clenches her jaw, her face reddening in anger or shame. “I didn’t mention it again. Not to him. Not ever.”
“It was awkward at first, same as any new form, but each time he seemed more comfortable, more... human.”
I tip my head back, refusing to cry anymore. I don’t need tears. I need anger. I push away the memories, like shards of glass in my heart. I want to feel the pain, I deserve it after what I did to him, but I won’t let it take me down. I need to use it.
“What does it all mean?”
I know there’s something deeper in all of this, I just can’t quite put the pieces together in my foggy, pounding head.
“Did he argue with you?”
“No,” I reply immediately, but I feel the sting behind my eyes as I’m taken back to the night at Kelsey’s, and to the fight that ended with him leaving. “Yes. But he was right. He had good reason.”
“Yes!” She clasps her hands together. “It’s exactly what I hypothesized would happen! It’s not insanity, it’s independence. In human form, with a human brain, they no longer require their bonded host. They lose their symbiotic traits and can thrive on their own. Maybe even reproduce naturally. That’s the reason it’s illegal, and why they go to such lengths to convince us of the horrible consequences.
Without the symbiosis, there is no control. The Shifters stop being accessories and become a unique species worthy of rights and protections. It threatens the entire military system we’ve established and the trade relationship with Centauri B. For the Centaurians... they’ve built their entire economy around this technology; these creatures that only they can provide.
The repercussions of this becoming common knowledge, of accusing them of misleading us, goes beyond my level of understanding. I do know that our relationship with them is on shaky ground as it is, and they’re far more advanced technologically than we are.”
“So, pissing them off would be a bad idea.”
“Yes, I expect that would be a very bad idea.”
“He said he loved me.” I blurt it out, instantly regretting how pathetic and naive I sound. But if what she said is true, if Damon had broken our bond by fully adjusting to his human form...
“I’m sorry. I’m rambling about these things and you’re grieving. I shouldn’t be so selfish.”
“He said he loved me, and I told him it was only the bond. That he didn’t really know what love was.”
Tanikka stays quiet, her enthusiasm seeming to be drained as she sits with her hands folded in her lap. I resume pacing, but when she speaks again it stops me in my tracks.
“I think he knew how he felt, Whisper. I might not have brought this up again to Isaac, but I kept searching for proof. I found two other cases. Names I will never repeat. My theory isn’t just a hopeful figment of my imagination. I know it’s true.”
For a moment all I’m aware of is the breath entering and exiting my lungs. Then the memories come crashing into me like a wave. All the love he gave me, and I brushed it off like it wasn’t even real. Like it didn’t count. I fucked up, and now, it’s too late.
I take a deep, shaking breath.
How do I move on from this? How do I keep working, keep breathing, without Damon? Why would I even want to?
There was a time when I wanted to help others; when I wanted to make a difference. Now, I’m grabbing that thread and trying desperately to form it into something I can work for. Something I can live or die for. If I don’t, I’ll kill Isaac for what he did, and then his Shifter will kill me.
I can’t say that sounds like a bad ending right about now. I also can’t bear the thought of Damon’s sacrifice being for nothing. I owe him more than that.
“I need to do something. Something real. I need to take down Horizon Zero. I need to kill those bastards, all of them. I’ve been so selfish, but I can do this... I can get taken again. I can stay undercover until I get in front of someone big. I can...” My words are spilling over themselves as my mind spins and struggles to grasp the plan that’s forming.
“Whisper, I... I have an idea. Something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. It was just a thought, nothing I could have ever put into motion myself.”
I step toward where she still sits, her eyes lowered as her fingers fidget in her lap. I crouch down, impulsively grabbing her nearest hand. Her honey eyes snap to mine, and I try to show her how serious I am. I need a purpose. I need a mission. If she knows something. If she has a way in...
She sighs, her shoulders slumping as her forehead creases with worry. She nods, slowly at first and then with increasing confidence. She straightens up and an expression of cold determination takes over her features.
“Have you heard of the Pharaoh of Gliese?”
Lost and Found
“This bitch is the reason my niece is dead.”
“Gideon, I-”
The back of his hand connects wi
th my cheek and I don’t need to fake the yelp of surprise and pain that escapes. Fuck, he’s really owning this role.
Good.
I was counting on him being low enough, desperate enough for the taste of revenge, that he’d be able to channel his anger so convincingly.
I look up at him as I cower at the end of my restraints, and his pale green eyes hold no hint of compassion. Maybe part of him does blame me for Camilla’s death. She had adapted to her captivity, done what she needed to do to survive. It was freedom that forced her to face the reality of what she had lost, to see the abuse for what it was and feel those wounds all at once.
“Her implants have been removed. She won’t be much trouble, though I still wouldn’t underestimate her if I were you.”
Just hearing those words makes my gut twist. No more changing my clothes with just a thought. No more Medic to save my ass when shit hits the fan. Thanks to Tanikka’s connection with BioSol Labs, I’ve got a clean neck and a fresh scar along my top three vertebrae.
I run my tongue over the back of my teeth, feeling the slight ridge at the edge of my gumline. A little bit of hidden tech that I’m saving for a particularly special occasion. Then there’s my hair, which has been died a deep scarlet. Even my lashes and brows are died with immaculate care, so that no one could suspect it’s not my natural color.
“She doesn’t look so tough,” Gideon’s contact replies, his voice as neutral as if he were talking about the weather. He’s a slim, mid-twenties man with the look of someone who lives behind a desk. He’s clean and well-groomed, but there’s nothing original or interesting about his appearance.
Gideon laughs, the sound not quite his usual pitch. “No, she doesn’t. Don’t worry, she’ll break easy. She’s lost everything; her Shifter, her title, her implants. She’s more likely to off herself than try to escape.”
That’s harsh. I don’t have to fake the shudder in my breath as I inhale, or the moisture that blurs my vision.
He tugs the nylon rope that binds my hands, making me stumble toward him. He fists a hand in my hair, looking for a moment like he might kiss me. The thought passes, and he pushes me away again.
I hate that I’m putting him through this. The last thing he wanted was to have to deal with Horizon Zero again. He knows what I’m risking by going back in, even if he doesn’t know the full scope of this mission Tanikka envisioned. Hell, I’m not even convinced all the pieces will fall into place. If they don’t, I’ll still get to put a dent in their business. If they do, if everything goes as planned, I’ll be a fucking nuke.
“Time for you to get what you deserve.”
His choice of words makes me snap my eyes to his, and for a moment I see a touch of softness in his expression. Revenge. Justice. Yes, I will get what I deserve. What we both deserve along with every life that’s been touched by these assholes. I sense the reluctance in his movements as he hands the end of the rope over to his contact.
“Dude, are you sure about this? I know you’re pissed about your niece, but...”
“This is what you do, right? You take the deliveries up the chain.”
“Sure, but... you’re an Elite. You’re pissed off now, but what happens when your conscious kicks in? You’re not going to be able to get this chick back if you have a change of heart.”
“You want her, or not?” Gideon crosses his arms over his broad chest, his jaw flexing as he narrows his eyes at the smaller man. He’s impatient to get this over with, one way or another.
“Yeah, man, she’ll be a good payday.”
“Great.” Gideon drops his hands to his sides, his eyes flicking to mine for just a moment as he turns toward the door of the run-down shack he uses for his meetings with this particular contact. “Consider her payment for all the intel you’ve given me over the last year.”
Then he’s gone, the door slamming in his wake. I look back at the man holding the rope. His amber eyes are bright in the dim, dusty room. His mouth curls into a thin smile as he stands a little taller. In Gideon’s absence, his confidence seems to be taking a leap.
“You are a pretty little thing, aren’t you?”
I step back as far as the rope will let me, and he gives a half-hearted laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m just here to take you to your next stop.”
The sharp crack of a stick concealed beneath the thick carpet of needles sends my latest attempt at a meal leaping effortlessly away through the trees. My growling stomach urges me to give chase, but the continuous throbbing pain at the base of my neck reminds me that the effort would be wasted.
I curse my failure, wishing I could manage the energy to shift to human form just so I could have the satisfaction of hearing the profanity out loud. The urge to communicate with words is something new. Before taking human form, I only used words when I needed them. I always enjoyed hearing Whisper talk, but having a conversation wasn’t that appealing to me.
It’s just one of many things that have changed. Not all at once, and some so slowly I barely noticed. It’s more than just the thoughts and emotions, it’s something deeper. I suspect my bond with Whisper might be broken.
I love her. As sure as I breathe, I love my Whisper. Getting back to her is my only desire. If she’s been harmed because of my absence... I can’t even think about that.
It’s different than before. I’ve always felt compelled to be near her; unsettled and agitated when she got too far from me. But it was different, like a pull in my gut, an instinct that made me never question my need to be within her reach. It also guided me to know how to find her if she strayed, like part of my own being existed within her.
I don’t feel that now, but I wish I did. If I could find even a hint of that tug, I’d know which direction to go. I wouldn’t have been walking in this cursed forest for days that feel like weeks.
My stomach growls again. I can track a human with perfect stealth. Catch a meal like an apex predator should be able to do? Apparently, that’s not in my skillset. Not that this infuriating injury helps matters any. I guess I should be grateful. I assume the intention was to tear out my implants, but somewhere along the way they must have assumed I was dead and dropped me out here to rot.
Clearly my Medic is still functional. The fact that I’m up and walking is proof enough of that. It’s definitely a bit sluggish, judging by the speed I’m healing and the unmistakable stench of infection. No way to tell if my Link works... I tried reaching out to Whisp, but the silence in return hurt as much as my wounds. Better not to try, so I can hold on to the hope that she’s still there.
The things I said to her. Fuck, I wish I could take those moments back. If I hadn’t left her. If I had only been by her side.
There’s a break in the canopy above, and I’m able to confirm that I’m still headed west. I don’t know if that’s taking me farther away from Moridian, or closer. I just had to guess at a direction, since staying still didn’t feel right. Whoever dropped me here must have been on wings, because there was no trace of their scent on the ground around me.
I keep pushing forward, my mind wondering from memories of Whisper to hopes of finding her again to thoughts of diving into a proper home-cooked meal. There’s something I won’t take for granted again. Ever.
Another twig snaps, but I don’t pay it any attention. I’ll never catch anything anyway, unless I can find a creature unfortunate enough to be in worse shape than I am. My nostrils flare, trying to determine what forest creature has happened upon me this time. The scent that wafts in on the still air makes me pause. I breath deeper, second guessing myself.
Wolf. Why would a wolf come this close? I certainly can’t smell like a meal, with the infection that’s likely coursing through my blood. I’m not even edible at this point. But there’s something off about the scent. Shifter, I think, but still something different. Maybe that means I’m getting close to civilization.
I inhale deeply once again, and the scent is sharper. Closer. I widen my stance, turning slowly. I bare my teeth, ears
flat as I growl a low warning. Not a challenge, just a warning for whatever or whoever it is to keep their distance.
A rustle of branches to my left, and a fresh wave of the odd wolfish scent reaches my nose. I turn, trying not to show that my neck won’t bend, though I’m certain the creature that emerges is well aware that I’m in no condition to defend myself. The white wolf is tall and healthy, his thick coat covering an obviously muscular frame. He’s in his prime no doubt, with blue eyes so vibrant they’re violet. Eyes that hold the intelligence of a Shifter.
Meeting him here can’t be a coincidence. I wait, not breaking eye contact and not offering any submission or challenge. His nostrils flare as he scents the air in my direction, his eyes moving to the back of my neck and over the rest of my body. I try to stand a little straighter, expand my chest, but I’m at the end of my strength as it is. I can only imagine the matted, dull condition of my coat and the smell of infection and filth.
I lower my head.
Let him attack, if that’s why he was sent. I’ll die fighting, however feeble it may be. He dips his own head even lower in response. The gesture takes me completely off guard... to what purpose? What game is this? His head is low, nose nearly to the ground. His eyes are lowered too, though he flicks them up to mine every few seconds as if to gauge my reaction.
I just stare, until he turns to leave the way he came. He looks over his shoulder, tipping his head in a clear invitation to follow. I can think of no good ending to this odd turn of events, but my aimless path wasn’t exactly destined for great success either.
I follow, if only because the alternative would be to die of curiosity. He slips silently along through the brush, as I trudge clumsily behind. I dig deep, trying to sense if this change in direction is taking me farther away from Whisper. There’s still no hint of the connection that kept my body so tuned to hers.
I’m not sure how long or how far we walk. I’m moving in a haze, focusing only on the thick, white tail that leads the way. From one step to the next, the brush parts and brilliant light washes over my face, leaving me blinking away the temporary blindness. When my vision clears, I stop and sit on my haunches at the edge of the forest. The wolf retraces his steps to join me.
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