by J. A. Owenby
“Yeah, it did. It fucked us both up for a while,” she said, quickly glancing at me and toward her bed.
“You’re right. We do have a lot in common, but my parents forced me to carry Jordan.”
“Do you want custody of your—” Mac asked, blurting it out quickly.
I shook my head. “No, and we can talk about it some other time. Tonight, it’s about what you need. All right?”
I laughed as Mac tackled me with a bear hug, and this time I hugged her in return just as hard.
She settled down, peering at me through her long dark lashes. “I want Asher back, Gemma. It’s been over a year, and there’s not a minute in the day I don’t think about him.”
“Well, he obviously feels the same way, but maybe there’s something we can do about it in the meantime,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows at her.
Chapter 26
If you’re lucky, you’ll have friends in your life you’ll want to do anything for.
My fingers danced across my keyboard as I texted Hendrix my plan.
Even though this was for Mac, my heart sang realizing I was about to see him again so soon.
“You all set?” I asked her, eyeing her cute skinny jeans and blue V-neck shirt.
“Yeah. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I think you might have a little bit of villain in you,” she said, giggling. “It’s a good thing.”
Ten minutes later my phone buzzed. “Let’s go,” I said, hopping off my bed. Mac and I slipped on our coats. The end of October brought with it what I considered winter.
We hurried down the stairs as fast as we could and ran down to the front door.
“Hey,” Hendrix said, reaching for me and giving me a quick kiss. “A few hours was too long not to be with you,” he whispered in my ear, shivers traveling down my back.
“Ready, Mac?” he asked her.
“I’m so fucking nervous, you guys. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“Nothing to it really,” I said, nudging her.
None of us said a word as we all walked toward Hendrix’s car and got in. The engine purred to life, the warm heat filling the inside.
Hendrix reached for my hand after he’d pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward downtown Spokane.
“You two are gonna kill me. You haven’t even been apart for more than a few hours.”
“What?” I asked confused.
“I know it was him texting you less than five minutes after you got back to the room. Your entire expression lit up like it was Christmas.”
“Mac,” I chided her, embarrassed. Hendrix’s chuckle filled the car while he squeezed my hand.
“Are we there yet?” she asked from the back seat.
I laughed. “I have no idea where we’re going so I can’t help you.”
She glanced out the window, her leg bouncing incessantly.
“I can’t believe you talked her into it,” Hendrix said quietly.
“Makes two of us,” I replied.
“When I drop you off tonight, why don’t you let me come up and take a few things back to my place for you?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “I mean, I know you mentioned it, but I wasn’t sure if you were just being nice.”
Hendrix laughed and raised my hand, a soft kiss landing on the back of it.
“I want you with me tonight. This being apart shit sucks. I can’t even write. I need my muse.”
“I can’t leave Mac alone, and I have to study.” I groaned as it dawned on me that Mac and I weren’t studying at all like we needed to.
“Fine. She can come. I have a guest bedroom, she’s used it a million times.”
“She has?”
“Yeah, before you came along, anyway. Guess you’re the first roomie she’s liked because she hasn’t stayed the night for a while.”
“Isn’t that the damned truth,” she chimed in from the backseat. “The other roomie was awful. I was at Hendrix’s every time he offered, which was a lot. The girl lucked out and basically had a room to herself.”
“We had a lot of fun,” Hendrix said. “A few drunk nights.” He laughed.
“Yeah, and a bitch of a hangover the next day, too.” Mac giggled.
Hendrix and Mac chatted about old times, and I realized he was keeping her busy while he drove. It was nice to see a brother and sister get along so well even if they were only step-siblings. I’d learned your family was who you chose, not necessarily because you shared a bloodline.
“Okay, we’re here,” Hendrix said, parking the car. I searched around the near-empty, well-lit parking lot. “You know the rules.”
“Yeah, yeah. I do,” she huffed.
“Good luck,” I told her.
“Just pray I don’t get so nervous I blow chunks all over him,” she said, opening the car door and hopping out.
“So gross,” I muttered to Hendrix while we watched her from the car.
“She’s terrified,” he said. “She does the leg bouncing when she’s really scared.”
“I hope this helps, but I don’t know. Maybe it was—” I didn’t finish my sentence.
My mouth dropped as a tall, blond, good-looking guy ran toward her, picked her up off the ground, and twirled her around. Her giggle broke through the parking lot.
“Is that Asher?” I asked, peering through Hendrix’s side window.
“Yeah, nice guy, too.”
Asher placed her feet back on the ground, and I flushed as they shared a deep kiss.
“Wow,” I said, looking away quickly.
“They’re intense,” he said, glancing at me. “What you see right there is exactly how you make me feel.”
“Me too,” I said quietly. “I hated being away from you today.”
“Come home with me, then,” he said, leaning forward and kissing me tenderly.
“But Mac,” I whispered against his mouth.
Our mouths parted, and he slipped his tongue inside. Every second he touched me, my body ached for him.
“We’re fogging the windows up,” he said between kisses.
I giggled and broke away.
“Is she doing okay?” I asked, pointing at my best friend.
“Happiest I’ve seen them since this whole shit thing happened.”
Sadness taunted me with the thought of not being with someone you loved that much. How Hendrix had become the very air I breathed, how he possessed my heart and body. Everything I had, everything I was, he held in the palm of his hand. It scared me to realize how much he could hurt me.
“So it’s a yes?” He turned back toward me, anticipation filling his voice.
“What’s a yes?” I asked, tearing myself away from my thoughts.
“You’ll stay with me tonight, and I’ll take us all to school in the morning?”
“Let’s see how Mac is doing when we’re done?” I asked, wanting to be sensitive to her feelings. “Sometimes we need girl time, ya know?”
“You’re killing me over here, Gem.” He flashed me his smile, and I almost came unglued.
“Is it going to be a while?” I asked, running my fingers up his jeaned thigh.
His eyes widened as I cupped his crotch. He pushed the button on my seatbelt, flipped it away, and reached for me. I giggled as he pulled me over the center console to straddle him.
“We can give them all the time they need. I have a suspicion they will be in his car in a few minutes, doing what we are,” he said, his fingers slipping underneath my shirt and running up my back.
“If I were on the pill already, I’d slide you inside me right now,” I said, kissing him, nipping on his bottom lip with my teeth.
He raised his hips and groaned. “You’re definitely coming home with me tonight. We’ll just have to be quiet,” he said breathlessly while his hand slipped into the cup of my bra and teased my nipple.
“Hendrix,” I gasped. “You’re turning me into a sex fiend.”
“As long as you’re riding me and only me, I’m totally okay with it,�
� he growled, and flicked open the top three buttons of my shirt. He moved the material out of his way, his warm mouth covering my breast.
My head tilted back as pure pleasure flooded my body.
“Is this normal?” I asked between gasps.
“What?” he asked without slowing down.
“Wanting you so bad I feel faint.”
He stopped and stared down at me. “Are you okay? Are you sick? What about flashbacks?”
My fingers trailed his jawline, my heart overflowing with love for him.
“I’m fine, Hendrix. I didn’t mean for you to stop. I’ve never felt this way before, I don’t know if my reaction to you is normal. I guess I’m afraid that the scars of my past have left—have left me—broken. What if something is so wrong with me it can’t be fixed?”
Chapter 27
Time stood still while I waited for him to answer the one question I’d had for the last five years since the rape. I’d dared to think for just a little bit I was wrong, but then there were moments with him, the fear was so intense I couldn’t fight it.
“Gemma,” he whispered, stroking my hair. “You’re perfect, don’t think otherwise for a single moment.”
The back door flung open, and I fumbled to fix my top, hop off Hendrix, and back in my seat. The dreaded flush crept up my neck as Hendrix rubbed his jaw and glanced out the window.
“You’ve gotta give us some warning, Mac,” he said, frustration thick in his tone.
“Sorry, he didn’t have much time.”
“How did it go?” I asked.
“I miss him so much,” she said, breaking down in tears. “He said he still loves me, but the only thing we can do right now is sneak around. And…and, I can’t be the other woman! I recognized I was tonight, and I can’t do it.”
“Mac,” I said, reaching for her hand. “We will figure something out, okay?”
She sniffled again and attempted to stop crying.
“I just want to go back to the dorm.”
Disappointment tugged at me, but there was no way I’d go with Hendrix and leave her alone. Not when she needed me the most.
I turned around in my seat and reached for Hendrix’s hand.
“I know,” he said, solemnly. “And I love you for it.”
* * *
Sadness seeped deep into my bones as I watched Mac cry. I’d quickly said goodbye to Hendrix when he dropped us off. The moment the door to our room swung open, Mac ran to her bed, curled around her pillow, and broke down all over again. I lay down next to her and remained still. Since I’d not had a best friend my own age, I was unsure of how to help her, so I did what I would have needed, and provided her quiet support.
After some time, she turned toward me, and we faced each other, propping up on our elbows.
“This is what sisters do,” Mac said, sniffling and wiping her nose on her sleeve. “We hang out in the bed and cry about guys.”
“I’m here, Mac. I think I hurt you more than helped you tonight, and it’s screwing with me. I guess I thought that if you two saw each other, even for a few minutes, it might help you say goodbye, or even better, he’d break off the engagement.”
“You did help me, Gemma. You did. I realize I’m completely wrecked right now, but it was worth it, and I’d do it again. I know I can’t be the other girl while he’s engaged to someone else, though. Tonight was bad enough and it took everything inside me to walk away.” The tears began again, and she rolled on her back, placing her hands over her head.
“They’re not getting married anytime soon, let’s see what happens. After seeing you two together and the love between you, I can’t believe it’s over, Mac,” I whispered.
She peered at me. “I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but until he’s married, I’m going to hope he comes back to me.”
“Me too. Everyone deserves to be loved like that.”
She popped up into a sitting position.
“Gemma, you’re loved like that. Don’t ever walk away from it because you might not get it back,” she hiccupped through her tears.
Nausea rolled in my stomach at the idea of losing Hendrix now that I’d opened up to him, given everything to him. He had the ability to crush my soul, but I was so far gone there was no turning back.
“I’m going to do my best,” I said and released a heavy sigh.
Chapter 28
The weeks flew by as winter settled in, and the snowflakes began to fall. Somehow, I was managing to pass my classes even though I spent a lot of time with Hendrix. Mac had taken me to see a doctor, and I was now on the pill. Also, after some cajoling, Hendrix had finally talked me into keeping some clothes at his place, and on the weekends, Mac and I stayed with him. It was better for her not to stay in the dorm alone and we wanted to be available if she needed to talk about Asher. I fought the urge to strangle him a few times after texts or emails swearing he loved her, because with each one, I watched powerlessly as her heart broke all over again.
Tonight, we all sat at Hendrix’s kitchen bar while he made us some drinks. Mac was in a funk after another message from Asher, and I was exhausted after pulling an all-nighter studying for an upcoming criminal justice test.
“You sure?” Hendrix asked, making the screwdrivers for us.
“Yup, if I’m going to try some alcohol, this is the best place to do it right? You both know my secrets, and I’m already sleeping with you, so it’s not like you’ll push me when my guard is down,” I said, giving him a small smile.
“I didn’t put very much vodka in yours so just take it slow. If you feel sick, we’ll grab you some water.”
After he slid our glasses toward us, Mac raised hers. We followed suit.
“To family,” she said.
“To family,” Hendrix and I said, clinking the glasses.
I took a small sip and smiled. “Tastes like orange juice.”
Hendrix laughed. “Give it a few minutes and it’ll sink in.”
I smiled and took another drink.
“I can’t believe it’s November already,” I said. “The holidays are around the corner, and this will be the first time in my life I’m not in Louisiana—” My words trailed off, and I took another sip. “I’m going to miss them terribly, but if I were there, I’d miss you guys. So I guess there’s no winning.”
“Are you going back?” Mac asked, her eyebrows arching in question.
Hendrix put his drink down and walked around the bar toward me. Anticipation flickered across their faces. I guess none of us had thought about it. I should go home to see Dad, but they’d made me promise not to unless they called. I also knew Mac and Hendrix had their own families to be with, which would leave me at the dorm alone. My heart sank with either possibility.
“No,” I whispered. “I’ll stay here at least for Thanksgiving. I might visit over Christmas break.”
Hendrix’s jaw tightened, and Mac’s lips pursed.
“We’ll talk about this later,” he said, his tone gruff. He kissed my forehead and walked back around the bar, taking a long pull from his drink. His shoulders slumped, his head hanging down while his hair fell around his face. I wanted to go to him and kiss him long and hard. The idea hadn’t occurred to me it would be our first Christmas together. I hadn’t thought much past each day.
He straightened up, his expression softening. “I wanted to tell you we’re singing next weekend.”
If my glass had been in my hand, it would have dropped to the floor and shattered.
“What? So soon?”
“Yeah, and we had a deal, so you can’t back out,” he said, grinning.
Was he enjoying watching me fidget and freak out?
“This is going to be so amazing!” Mac squealed.
I winced at the volume of her tone. Although I’d gotten used to how loud she was, sometimes it snuck up on me. Especially if I was stressed.
“I’ll help you get ready, and this is going to be so awesome. And, I haven’t even heard the song, but even the on
e time outside, ya know, the night Hendrix fell in love with you, like I watched it happen. The moment your voice blended with his, he was a goner. I’ve never seen him like that. Like ever.”
“Thanks, Mac,” Hendrix said, sarcasm threading through his tone.
“Oh, yeah, well a girl needs to know these things. Right, Gemma?” she asked.
My cheeks flushed, not only with her directness, but for Hendrix.
“I wouldn’t have had any idea if you hadn’t said anything,” I said and reached for his hand.
Hendrix took a breath, “Mac’s right. The day behind the library was the beginning, but the night after the concert, that was it for me. There was no turning back, it was a done deal.”
My eyes widened. It was one thing to know a guy loved you, but when you found out the second it happened...my insides melted. If Mac hadn’t been with us, I would have taken him straight upstairs and showed him how much I loved him in return.
Hendrix held my gaze, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand.
Mac cleared her throat loudly.
“Back to music you two. Gemma, you know this song, you’ve been practicing and recording with Hendrix for weeks now. You’ve got this.”
“Plus, the fact she won’t be on stage. Well, she’ll be behind the curtain so she won’t faint on me.”
I groaned and mentally reviewed all the awful possibilities that could happen. I took a long drink of my screwdriver and sighed. Suddenly, a tingle shot through me, my shoulders relaxed, and a calm washed over me.
“And there we have it, folks,” Mac said, giggling.
Hendrix chuckled while my fair skin betrayed me again with a full body flush.
“So, this kinda feels good,” I said, laughing. “I’ve only had like one drink of moonshine, and I thought it was going to set me on fire.”
“Oh my God, moonshine? Like, straight up moonshine?” Mac said, covering her mouth, giggling.
“The night before I came up here, Ada Lynn broke out her stash,” I said, grinning at the memory. I slid my glass toward Hendrix. “You can add a little more.”