by Blair Grey
“You’re upset. You’re in mourning. You miss your brother and you wish things were the way they were. But they aren’t. So, to get your mind off things, you’re going to find yourself a dick to ride tonight. Trust me, I’ve been there. I know what you’re going through. But, you’re going to regret it in the morning,” I said.
There were a variety of expressions on her face as she stared at me, and I wanted to just leave her standing there, heading back inside to get a couple more drinks and forget about taking anyone home.
But, she shook her head.
“Actually. You’re wrong,” she said at last.
“Am I?” I challenged.
“Yes, you are,” she snapped. “I am not here just to find any dick to ride, and I wasn’t even here to find your dick to ride.”
She looked down at the front of my pants as she spoke, then quickly back up at my face. “But I was here to find you.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I’ve always known I could come to you if I needed help. Tim used to tell me that when we were young. If he couldn’t help, then I could go to you. I’m sure he didn’t mean when we were adults, but still,” she said. “I need help.”
“With?” I prompted. I was curious, but not sure I wanted to get involved.
“I’m going to need another drink before I can tell you, it’s pretty big,” she replied. She nodded toward the door of the bar. “Do you have time for another, or are you heading out?”
I was torn. I knew common sense would say to leave. But, I could definitely use another drink, and there wasn’t any alcohol at home. Besides, I was still curious. I wanted to know what she wanted help with – what was so big she wasn’t able to tell me unless she had at least four drinks in her.
“Alright,” I said. We turned and headed back into the bar. We bought two more drinks each, then headed to a table back near the pool tables. It was quieter back there, and we were able to talk with more privacy. I got the impression that’s what she wanted, which only made me all the more curious about what sort of trouble she had managed to find herself in.
She downed the first drink and sat for a second, letting the alcohol take effect before looking me in the eye.
“Well?” I asked. “What is it?”
She took a deep breath. “I think Tim was involved in something bad.”
I raised my eyebrows. That was both surprising, yet not, all at the same time. “Like?”
“I’m not sure,” she said. She quickly told me about a brick that had been through threw her window, then her conversation with Mama Rose about it. I tightened my grip around the glass in my hand so tight it cracked. I thought about shattering it right there on the table, but instead opted to shove it on the floor.
“You think he was murdered?” I managed. I was seething. Tim was a good man, a great man. God help the person who would do such a thing. I’d happily kill them with my own bare hands.
April nodded, and I shook my head. That pissed me off, but why did she come to me about it? If he was part of another MC, wasn’t that their shit to deal with? Of course, I didn’t want to just turn my back on my friend like that, but then, it didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t with my MC.
“And why come to a rival?” I asked. I knew she’d pick up on my meaning.
“I can’t go to his MC,” she said. She stared down into her glass before taking another deep breath. Then, she told me about the daughter. A young daughter she had with one of the members of the MC. Tim never knew who the father was, but there was enough shit going on with this guy she couldn’t go to them for any help.
It would just be more leverage for him to take the kid away from her. Damn, April had been so bright, so smart. She had so much going for her when I knew her years ago, it was hard to believe she had gotten herself into so much shit now. Of course, I didn’t judge her for any of it, but I still wondered how someone so bright could get shit so wrong in just a matter of years.
“So you want me to go talk to them?” I asked. “I could go to the kid’s dad and see if I can smooth this out for you, and find out what happened to Tim – and what we can do about it.”
“That’s not quite what I’m asking,” she said. The words came out hesitantly, and I gave her another curious look. It was hard to get information out of her, especially considering she was the one who came to me.
“So?” I prompted.
“I was hoping, maybe,” she hesitated. Finally, I could see in her face the moment she gave up. “Fuck it. I was hoping you’d marry me.”
“What?” I looked at her in shock. It was the last thing I thought would come out of her mouth, and she was quick to explain.
“I need it to look like I’m stable, on paper anyway. If you were to act like we were married, I could get Hanson off my back, the change of address might get these guys off my trail, I could keep my daughter safe from the killers, and you could figure out what happened to Tim,” she said.
She forced a nervous smile, clearly thinking I was going to be on board for her little idea. I didn’t mean to react the way I did, but I couldn’t help it. I’d heard some crazy plans in my day, but this one beat all. Asking me to marry her, especially considering the circumstances, was far more than I could handle.
I burst out laughing. Her face changed. She looked disappointed, then angry, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t believe it, and I couldn’t hold it in.
Finally, she couldn’t take it any longer. Furious, she grabbed her purse off the seat beside her. “You are such a fucking asshole!”
“You’re not wrong,” I laughed. She didn’t wait to hear more. Storming out of the bar, she left me highly amused at the table. I shook my head, still unable to process what she’d just really asked me to do.
With an amused smirk on my face, I rose. I had planned on calling it a night and heading home after talking to her in the booth, but now, there was no way that was going to happen.
I headed back to the bar. I’d need more whiskey to handle this one.
7
April
“And send. There, another one down and fingers crossed,” I said as I closed my laptop. Sabrina was on the floor playing with some blocks, and I was sending off job applications. I didn’t have high hopes for landing any of them, but it was worth a shot.
I needed a job, after all, and since another plan had only ended up blowing up in my face, I knew I was going to have to get shit figured out soon.
More than once since the night before I’d thought about just packing my things and fleeing. I wanted to get as far away from California as possible. But, moving took money, and often a lot of it. I didn’t have any money in savings, and every dime I got went to taking care of Sabrina and bills.
I was grateful to the government for taking care of me the way that they were. I knew they didn’t have to offer welfare to anyone. But, I wished there was a way for me to get a little more out of them. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to work, or that I was using my checks on things that I didn’t need.
Hell, there were plenty of times in my life when I went without things that I did want or need for the sake of Sabrina, and I was glad to do it. But, being faced with the situation I’d now found myself, the money they sent me wasn’t nearly enough.
It was barely enough to get by, that was it.
I picked Sabrina up, trying not to sigh as I did so. I didn’t want her to sense my depression, though I had a feeling it was inevitable. I knew kids were keen on picking up how their mother was feeling, and I wasn’t feeling great, that was for damn sure. I had to get this shit figured out, and my master plan had failed.
I was pissed off at Aaron. I really thought he was going to help. Sure, I could put myself in his shoes and agree that the plan did sound crazy, but then, he didn’t have to laugh in my face about it. I was genuinely asking him for his help, and I thought that was the best way to do it.
He probably thinks you’re the biggest idiot on the planet. You asked him to marry you! He
’s not seen you in years, you come out of the blue with a big sob story, and it blows up in your face. I mean, what did you think was going to happen?
He was going to break down and say he’d been waiting all this time to hear you say that very thing? Of course not!
I knew part of my problem was the fact that I felt embarrassed. I had been desperate, and I had acted out of that desperation. I’d thought that going to him had been the answer, not realizing that this was my own shit to deal with, and I had to handle it on my own.
I bounced Sabrina up and down on my lap, trying hard to figure out a solution. Perhaps it was the depression, but I really didn’t see much hope in getting any of the jobs I’d just applied for, either. I was supposed to have at least a temporary job to keep my benefits from the government, but it was hard for me to get even one of those.
Not many employers wanted to hire a single mother. I guess they’d been burned too many times with women who didn’t show up for their shifts, or they were always leaving early to take care of their kids, or something. Of course, I knew there were plenty of times when someone didn’t have a choice.
Hell, if Mama Rose wasn’t able to watch Sabrina for me, that meant I was taking the day off from work, and that was the end of the discussion. I didn’t have anyone else who would watch her for free, and I wasn’t able to afford daycare.
Jobs didn’t pay enough to put food on the table and put my kid through daycare, so I just had to deal with things when Mama Rose was able to come through for me. Sure, she could more often than not, but it was the days when she couldn’t I really was screwed over.
I tried not to feel too sorry for myself, but my thoughts were getting more and more negative until I was surprised by a knock at the door.
“Since when did this place become Grand Central Station?” I muttered to myself. I never had visitors. Not even Mama rose came to see me. Every time she took Sabrina, I was the one who took her over there. I didn’t have much in the way of friends these days, either.
It was just me and my daughter, and there were many days I preferred it to stay that way.
I walked over to the door, dreading who was on the other side. There wasn’t anyone I wanted to see, and I had a feeling it was a lawyer or someone else about to make my life more difficult than it needed to be. After taking a deep breath, I pulled it open.
“Aaron?” I asked in surprise. “How did you?”-
“It’s not hard to find people in this town if you know who to ask,” he said. I felt rather creeped out by that statement, but I knew he wasn’t wrong. “May I?”
He gestured into the apartment, and I nodded. “Come in.”
He walked past me, and I smelled liquor on him. It was eleven in the morning, and he was already drunk? Then again, I’d left the bar at nearly one-thirty. He might still have been drunk since the night before. I hadn’t kept track of how much he was drinking, and I didn’t know how long he’d stayed after I left.
At least he doesn’t smell like another woman. That would be even worse than the smell of liquor after the night you had.
He looked around the apartment but I wasn’t in the mood to entertain. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said. I was shocked. I figured he’d say a lot of things, but I didn’t think I’d get an apology. “I was caught off guard by your, um, proposition, and I didn’t know how to respond.”
“I’m sorry I was so blunt,” I said. “I’m not sure what came over me, I really should have thought that one through better before I asked you if you’d marry me.”
“Actually,” Aaron replied, turning to me. “I thought it over, and I’m down to give your little plan a try.”
For the second time that morning, I was in utter shock. After the way he’d responded the night before, I never thought he’d speak to me again, let alone give the idea any real thought. And to agree to it? That was the most surprising of all. Sure, I thought that he would initially, but when he laughed right in my face, I was sure that was the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard in his life.
I wasn’t sure how to respond myself now, and I looked him over from head to toe.
“Are you sure?” I asked at last.
“It only makes sense,” he said with a shrug. “If you and I were to be married, then you could get your crazy ex off your back, you wouldn’t have to worry about losing your kid, you both would be safe from whoever it is who’s after you, and in the meantime I could figure out what the Hell happened to one of my best friends.”
He rambled off all the reasons I’d thought would make the idea a good one, but I still wasn’t sure about the idea anymore. He was clearly drunk, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to get myself into a relationship with a drunk, even if it wasn’t for real.
It would only be temporary, and he was right, all the things that I’d said the night before were good reasons for us to go through with this. But, I also wasn’t sure if he’d be able to pull off his end of the bargain if he was drunk.
What would the judge think if Aaron went to court with me? How would he be able to find out what happened to Tim if he was wasted? What about a job?
As if he could read my thoughts, he continued. “I have my own place, it’s in a good part of town. There’s plenty of room for both of you to move in. It’s a lot better than this shithole, I can tell you that.”
He looked around my apartment as he spoke, and at first I bristled, but then, I relaxed. He was right. He could call this place a shithole if he wanted to. It was one. Hardly anything that I’d have picked out. I chose it for the price, and that was it.
It certainly didn’t help that the window was broken out, and my landlord didn’t seem concerned enough to come fix it in the near future. He didn’t care what the contract said. He would be out when he felt like it, and I didn’t think that meant any time soon.
“I make a lot of money, too,” Aaron said finally. “Everything you wanted on paper, and I still get to find out what happened to Tim.”
Though it was exactly what I wanted, I still hesitated. I didn’t realize it would be so hard for me to go through with the idea once he agreed to the plan. Hell, I thought I’d want to run right on down to the courthouse and get it put in writing.
But, I had my concerns. Finally, I voiced them. “How are you going to pull all this off – and take care of me and my daughter – if you’re unable to keep yourself sober?”
He shrugged. He wasn’t offended, he didn’t argue with me, he didn’t even have a snide remark back. He just shrugged. I wasn’t sure how to respond, but he had an answer. “What other choice do you have?”
That was it. The one truth I couldn’t ignore. I didn’t have another option. I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have the money to move. My car barely worked on a good day. It wasn’t like I’d gone with this idea because I wanted to. It just seemed like the best option for me and my daughter both.
And if there was a way I could find out the truth about Tim – and even possibly avenge him – that just might make this whole crazy plan worth it. Drunk or not, Aaron had been one of Tim’s best friends. I was there. There was no denying the connection the two of them had shared for a very long time.
I sighed. Holding out one of my hands, I forced a smile. “And that right there is the romantic proposal any woman hopes to get. You’ve got yourself a deal.”
He shook it, and with that, I was becoming a married woman.
8
Aaron
“Shit! Fucking shit!” I shoved more pizza boxes into the tearing garbage bag, wondering who designed pizza boxes – and garbage bags. If pizzas were round, why the fuck were the boxes square? Just so they could tear holes down the side of a garbage bag when I tried to shove them in?
Then again, if someone knew these bags were meant to hold garbage, then why the Hell didn’t they make them stronger? It wasn’t as though I bought the cheap ones, either. These were the bags from the commercial – the ones that weren’t suppos
ed to rip no matter what.
I tried to tell myself that I was pissed off because of the pizza boxes and garbage bags, but the real reason I knew I was pissed was because of the fact my fiancé and her baby were going to be there later that day, and my place was a pig sty.
I’d told her that her apartment was a shithole. And, well, it was. But, anyone who saw my house could use the same word. It wasn’t that the house itself was bad. But, I’d let it go. I had been living in shit recently. My life had been steadily going off the rails, and it showed here.
There were beer bottles, empty pizza boxes, dirty dishes, and dirty laundry in just about every room. The counters were full of dirty dishes and other trash, and I had to vacuum before she got there.
I didn’t know the first thing about taking care of a baby, but I knew I was going to have to keep this place a lot more cleaned up if there was going to be a little one in the house.
The whole concept was so strange to me. The fact that I was now engaged made me want to laugh as much as I had the night before all over again. Who would have thought that me, the one who was always bringing home another girl from the bar, would have one engaged to me?
Then again, it was just the night before I was feeling sorry for myself for not having a girl to call my own. Not that I could call April my own. This was an arrangement we’d both agreed to do for the good of the situation.
She had to take care of her daughter and herself. I was going to help her out for Tim’s sake. He had been my best friend. I liked to think that if things were reversed, he would have done the same for me. Then again, if I was completely honest with myself, I knew I’d be going through with something like this even if she wasn’t related to Tim.
There was something about April that just brought out my protective side. I hated to see her in danger. Hated to see her scared. I wanted her to be okay, to feel safe with me. And, I was also filled with a rage when I thought Tim might have been murdered.
He was a good guy. I hated to think that he’d gotten himself tied up in something that ended up costing him his life. Hell, everyone made mistakes, but he didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who made those kinds of mistakes. Then again, April didn’t strike me as the kind of girl who would be living off welfare with a kid in a shitty apartment, either.