by Ray, Marika
I blushed a bit under her scrutiny, wondering if she’d see some of the motivation behind my change. While she didn’t have a problem with trends or makeup or even sexy clothing, she did have an issue with women catering their appearance to suit men. And if I was being honest, I’d agreed to the makeover just a teeny-tiny bit because I wanted Bain’s attention. Like ten percent. Okay, maybe fifty, but I wasn’t telling Mom that.
I was thirty-six years old and I didn’t need to explain myself to anyone. Especially my mother.
“I love your new look. Honestly. You’re a beautiful girl, always have been.” She gave me a winning smile and my heart melted at the compliment. “You better watch yourself around the men, though, sweet girl. They’re going to be crowding around, sniffing ya.”
And there it was. The man bash. I rolled my eyes and stood up.
“Men are not animals, Mom. They won’t be sniffing me. And I did this for me, not for men.” Just one man in particular.
Mom struggled to heave herself off the couch. I reached for her, but she batted my hand away and finally got to her feet. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were as sharp as ever.
“Mark my words. Most men—not all—are the devil incarnate. Especially your biological donor and my ex-husband. Just watch yourself. That’s all I’m saying.”
With that doom and gloom statement, Polly Eureka, man-hater extraordinaire, walked into the kitchen and made herself a sandwich. A headache was brewing, right in the center of my forehead. Had to be from all the strain of the week. Birds, men, and mothers.
My phone pinged loudly from my tote bag in the laundry room.
“There’s the first man now!” My mother jabbed her knife up in the air, the mayonnaise dripping off and plopping on her blouse. She dabbed at it with a kitchen towel, making the mess even worse. I rolled my eyes again and stomped past her to get to my phone. The woman needed a bib. Every single one of her shirts growing up had permanent stains on the chest area.
Amelia: Last chance, woman. Bonfire!
I turned the screen off and squeezed my eyes shut. A part of me yearned to run out of the house and dance the night away around a huge bonfire surrounded by friends. A place where I didn’t have to think about Bain and that look in his eye. A place where I couldn’t feel the pressure of my mom’s convictions. I didn’t know where that part of me came from or why she suddenly had overwhelming feelings she pushed onto the rest of us, but I liked her.
“Mom? When are you going to tell me about my biological donor?”
She was behind me at the kitchen counter, so I couldn’t see the way her mouth was most certainly pinched, but I could sense the change in the air. It was the black, icy cloud that hung over us whenever I brought up the subject, which meant I learned a long time ago never to bring it up. But this new, wild side of me didn’t care. She wanted answers, dammit.
“Lucille Eureka, you know I don’t like to talk about that man. He has no place in your life, so just let it go!”
I heard the knife clatter in the sink and then the soft soles of my mom’s Birkenstocks slapping out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Turning around, I saw the mess she left on the counter, too angry to put the food back in the refrigerator.
My vision wavered the same time the squeeze in my chest hit me. Maybe it was the fatigue from the day. Maybe it was the shock of Mom’s arrival. I just hated that she wouldn’t talk about him. Hated that she wouldn’t tell me who my father was or why he wasn’t in my life. Did he turn his back on her when she got pregnant? Did he even care if I existed? I had a thousand questions and not one satisfactory answer in all my thirty-six years. How could I know where I was going in life if I didn’t know where I was from?
I grabbed the loaf of bread off the counter and practically threw it back in the fridge. The deli meat got the same treatment, though I kept the cheese out to take a huge bite of a slice. I hated crying. I’d rather eat my feelings.
The wild child buried not as deep as I thought raised her head again and peeked around. Another slice of cheese and the tears receded. Lifting the phone, I brought the screen to life and texted Amelia back.
Lucille: Can you come pick me up?
She hit me back right away with an enthusiastic yes. I shoved off the counter and marched up the stairs, resolutely ignoring the closed bedroom door where Mom was currently eating her own feelings in the form of a pity sandwich and headed to my room.
I had some new clothes that needed to be broken in and tonight was the perfect night to do it.
15
Bain
Well, fuck me.
The moon was high in the sky by the time I made it to the beach for another bonfire with my new friends. I’d wasted too much time over at Lucille’s clinic, and then once I’d come back to the prison, I’d been lost in my lustful thoughts, having to rewrite emails three times before I got them good enough to send. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. She’d gotten under my skin and I couldn’t figure out why.
I needed to get my head together. A night with a cold beer and a roaring fire sounded just about perfect. I could shoot the shit with the guys and flirt innocently with Lenora, Amelia, and Hazel. I was pretty sure they were spoken for by the guys in the group, in one way or another, but until they told me otherwise, the girls were fair game for conversation. Nothing perked a guy up and distracted him quite like a scintillating conversation with a pretty girl. I didn’t want to get seriously involved anyway, so harmless flirting was exactly what I craved.
I tripped over a rock in the path, nearly dropping the six-pack of IPAs from BarrelHouse, a local brewery, I carried with me to buy my way in. Thankfully I still had my steel-toed boots on, though I’d left behind the uniform and badge. I could hear people down on the beach, their voices echoing off the cliff and traveling in the light breeze. I hurried down the path, watching for any rocks trying to take me down before I got to the fun part of the day.
The breeze off the ocean hit me first, ruffling the hair I’d been growing out since I took on the warden position. I figured I’d get in fewer fights now that I filled an administration position so I could grow it out a bit.
The second thing to draw my attention hit me so hard it caused me to stumble for the second time that night. There, standing in the firelight with her back to me, was a blonde who had it all on display. Long curvy legs ended in an ass that was more than a handful, highlighted perfectly in a pair of tight cutoff denim shorts. Badonkadonk huggers took on new meaning now that I’d seen it in the flesh.
My flagging energy perked up in a heartbeat, ready to slide right in next to this shining example of small-town beauty and lure her back to my place. Who needed sleep when they hadn’t shared a bed with a woman in more weeks than they could count? Not me.
I walked through the sand in a trance, barely sparing Rip a head nod in greeting and passing the six-pack over to Titus. As nonchalantly as possible, I sidled right up to the paragon of country femininity, ignoring the twenty-odd other people assembled. I stared at the fire while keeping a bead on her out of the side of my eyes. Target identified. Engage.
“Hey, beautiful, what’s—”
The words died a quick death as I turned toward her to make my move.
Fucking hell.
If it wasn’t Lucille Eureka standing next to me, eyeing me like she just dared me to finish that sentence. She leaned in and that blonde-streaked hair, looking all golden in the firelight, swung around and brushed my arm.
“What were you saying, Bain?” She smiled saucily and my palm itched to get a hand on that backside. Not how I initially imagined it, in a smooth pass as I fondled and caressed that beauty, but in a single smack, hard enough to knock the smirk off her gorgeous face.
I cleared my throat and tried to keep my eyes from drifting down to the plentiful show she had going on in a tight red tank top. I guessed right. She had been packing concealed weapons of man destruction under those blouses. Who would have thought I’d prefer her in the prim and prop
er long-sleeved shirts and wool skirts? She had everything on display for any and all jackasses to leer at. It was pissing me right off.
“We meet again, Lucy. Come to these bonfires often?” My hopes and dreams of a kickback outing with friends where I could burn off steam and destress just went up in flames far taller than the bonfire in front of me.
Lucille pulled herself up straight, the action doing nothing but drawing my gaze to the magnificent breasts being pushed out further.
“It’s Lucille. And no, this is my first. You?”
I narrowed my eyes. “I like Lucy. And it’s my second.”
She nodded, sizing me up, her gaze sweeping across the forest green Henley I’d put on over some Levi’s. I’d taken Amelia’s comments to heart last time and got myself some country jeans and damn if they weren’t more comfortable.
“Come grab a drink, Lucille.” Lenora came out of nowhere and tugged on Lucy’s arm, pulling her away from me and over to the other side of the fire where the guys had set up a makeshift drinking station on a multicolored blanket. The fire glinted off beers and bottles of liquor. I watched her go, nearly drooling at the way she walked, those hips swaying with each step. The roar of the ocean waves rhythmically intensified and then receded, quite like my obsession with Lucy.
She tossed a quick look over her shoulder, catching me staring at her ample ass. She smirked again and I felt a little lightheaded.
What was going on here? Where was the quiet little woman who’d been afraid to show some skin or talk to a man? I’d been the aggressor pretty much my entire life. I saw a woman I wanted, I went after her. Now that doesn’t mean I always got her. I knew that no meant no, but nine times out of ten, the answer was an enthusiastic yes.
But here I was in Auburn Hill, a tiny town on the coast, with petty vandalism as the worst a citizen of Hell could get up to, and everything was backward. The opposite of what I knew. It’s like the world flipped upside down and up was no longer up.
“Solving world peace or something, Warden?” Titus nudged my arm and handed me a beer. I ripped my gaze from Lucy’s backside as she took a shot of something she probably wasn’t ready for with Lenora, and decided to get to the bottom of things.
“You’re a local, right?” I took a swig of beer and eyed Titus’s biceps. The dude was ripped.
Titus’s eyebrows drew together, but there was friendliness in his eyes. “Yeah, born and raised in Hell. What’s up?”
“Are the women a little different around here?”
Titus nearly spat out his beer. He swallowed hard and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Fuck yeah, they are. Man, you don’t know the half of it. They’ll get you all twisted up and then they prance off to flirt with everyone but you. They seem like they need your help, so you step in to offer a helping hand, and they tell you off for not minding your own business. You can spend your whole life trying to get their attention and they’ll pat you on the chest and thank you for being such a good friend.” He blew out a heavy breath. “If I had good advice, I’d give it to you, but as you may not be aware, I’m single.”
I widened my eyes comically. “Well, hell, Titus, tell me how you really feel.”
The frown and twenty years of frustration melted from his face to be replaced with a smile. He held out his beer and we clinked the necks.
“To all the crazy women in this town. Odds are one of us lucky bastards will finally land one. May the best man win.”
We both drank to that and I had a seat in an empty chair. It had the perfect view of Lucy shaking hands with the dude, Lukas, who took my bagel and coffee order every morning. He held her hand a bit too long for my liking, but heeding Titus’s warning, I didn’t do anything about it.
I had more questions than answers. The only thing I knew for sure was the intensity in which I wanted Lucy was unmatched. I’d never been so turned on, frustrated, angry, irritated, and intrigued all by the same woman. All at the same time.
Rip sat next to me and we chatted about various things going on around town. The whole time I gave my attention to Lucy, watching her drink a beer while chatting with Lukas and several of his friends. A young kid who looked like he played football all through high school put his arm around Lucy’s shoulders and I jumped up, seeing red.
“Hey, man, can you grab me a beer too?” Rip asked, probably thinking I was jumping up for a beer run. I ground my molars and nodded, walking over to the liquor blanket without taking my eyes off Lucy.
“You wanna check out the sea cave with me?”
The drunk guy with his arm around Lucy, asking her to go have sex with him in a cave, was the last straw. I abandoned the beers and pushed my way next to Lucy, shoving the guy off her in the process.
“Hey!” he bellowed.
I put my arm around Lucy’s waist, but turned to the guy. “Listen, buddy. Go find someone your own age and I won’t have to call the chief and tell him there’s some underage drinking going on. We clear?”
His jaw was clenched like he wanted to deck me, but he still had a few brain cells working for him. He nodded and turned away, pulling Lukas with him.
“What the hell was that for, Bain?”
Turning back to Lucy, she was wiggling to get out of my grip, a frown marring her face. A cheer went up from the crowd, interrupting our argument. We all turned to watch a young couple holding hands, running off to the hillside.
I tipped my head to the receding couple. “Know where they’re going?”
She just frowned harder.
“They’re going to the sea cave to have sex like the town legend talks about. You’re telling me you wanted to have sex with that guy over there?”
Her mouth fell open and then she clicked it shut and lifted her nose in the air.
“I forgot about that legend.”
“Uh-huh.” I tightened my grip on her waist, which pulled her into me, her breasts smashing against my chest. Her breathing picked up. “What you meant to say was ‘oh my goodness, thank you so much for getting me out of that tricky situation, Bain, you handsome rascal.’” I used my falsetto voice to mimic her.
A smile threatened to pull the frown off her face and I mentally high-fived myself.
“I don’t sound like that, nor was that what I was going to say.”
“But maybe you should have said that instead of yelling at me. I’m sensitive.”
She rolled her eyes and I loved the way her lashes were so long they brushed her eyebrows. We stared at each other for a beat, then two. Her pupils were dilated and I didn’t know if that was from the dark closing in or because she’d already had too much to drink. She must have decided to trust me at least a little bit as she leaned in and whispered.
“Are they really having cave sex?”
A rumble of a laugh worked its way up and I knew she could feel it. I couldn’t help it. She was adorable and so naive I wanted to stick by her side at all times to protect her. The big bad world I was all too familiar with would eat her up and spit her out for breakfast.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re going for it. Why? You want to go next?”
Her lips parted in a cute little “O” and her face flamed. “Ssh! No!”
“Lucille! Do another shot with me…” Lenora tried to push her way between us, but I didn’t let go of Lucy’s waist.
Based on the way Lenora sagged her whole body weight into our intimate huddle, nearly toppling us, I could assume she’d already had enough shots. Which meant Lucy was in danger of having too many also. I grabbed the cup out of Lenora’s hand.
“Cheers, Lenora.” We clinked cups and both drank, Lenora throwing her hands in the air and moving off into the group.
“Hey, that was mine.” Lucy pouted, sticking that puffy lower lip out.
Blame it on the alcohol, but I couldn’t stay away any longer. I dipped my head down and nipped at that lip with my teeth, soothed it with a swipe of my tongue, and then I stood back up, just waiting for Lucy to object.
Instead of lashing out at me, her eyes were closed and her breathing came faster. Her body melted into my arm, degree by degree, letting me hold her weight. The testosterone coursing through my veins surged and I shifted into full flirt mode, needing this woman more than I needed my reputation in this small town.
“You like that, Lucy? You like when I steal kisses from you?”
At my whisper, her eyes flew open and the flames from the fire reflected back to me.
“I actually do,” she whispered back, still melting into my arm.
I dipped my head again and stole another kiss, this time with her full participation, a heady feeling knowing she wanted me back. Another cheer went up from the crowd around the bonfire, pulling me from her lips. Now was not the time nor the place to be putting the moves on the town’s shining example of virtue.
I forced my arm to drop. Told my feet to step away, all the while grinding my teeth at the effort it took. I fished out the phone from my back pocket, needing to do something with my hands other than touch Lucy’s soft skin.
“I should get your phone number.” I smiled at her wide eyes, wondering about the last time my heart had pounded so loudly when asking a woman for her number. “We can go out on a date and start over.”
“Start over?” Her voice was soft, almost a whisper.
I shrugged. “Yeah, you know. Start over without blackmailing or birdseed standing between us?”
She quirked a smile, quite proud of herself. “Sure. But let it be known that blackmailing worked like a charm.”
“I’ve got a flock of seagulls who would disagree with you.”
She put her hand on her hip. “How about we agree to disagree?”
I nodded, enjoying the way I could spar with this woman. “Agreed.”