by Kitty Neale
‘Well, get on with it then. Mum will be home in a minute.’
Connie said nothing as she placed William in his pram and then walked into the kitchen. Albie strolled over to look at his son and received a gummy smile that made him smile back. Billy was a cute little feller and maybe he should take a bit more notice of him. He leaned over and picked him up, but then grimaced at the stink. His nappy needed changing and there was no way he was going to do that. So the baby suckled, shit and smiled now, and the smile was the only thing he didn’t find distasteful. He plonked him back in the pram again, and Billy started crying just as his mother walked in.
‘Give him here,’ she said. ‘I’ll see to him.’
Albie was happy to do just that; his stomach heaved when his mother removed the baby’s nappy. He couldn’t stand it and walked out of the room into the kitchen. ‘The baby is stinking the place out. It’s bloody disgusting.’
‘I don’t suppose your shit smells any better.’
Albie was stunned. He’d never heard Connie swear before, and said, ‘I suppose you got that foul language from Jill.’
‘No, Albie, I got it from your mother.’
‘She doesn’t swear.’
‘I don’t think she considers the word a profanity.’
Albie’s teeth ground. Profanity – huh, she’d swallowed a bloody dictionary again. ‘Just get on with our dinner,’ he said angrily. ‘I’m waiting to go out.’
‘Yes, sir,’ she said, with a mock salute.
Albie’s eyes narrowed. With the swearing and now this, Connie was acting out of character, but he had no idea why.
Chapter 35
Constance’s mind was still churning the next morning. There was no need for her to stay now. She could just tell Albie she was leaving, but doubted it was going to be that simple. She put William in his pram and pushed him along to Jill’s, hoping for some advice.
‘Good morning, my lady,’ Jill with a small curtsy as she opened the door.
‘Don’t be daft.’
‘Yeah, sorry, but I still can’t get over that you’re now worth a few bob.’
‘It’s taken a while to sink in, but I have a problem. I’m definitely not going to tell Albie that my father has passed away but I am going to tell him that I’m leaving him, and I thought I’d say that my father has agreed to let me live with him.’
‘So what’s the problem?’
‘I’m frightened, Jill. What if he and Dora try to stop me from taking William?’
‘Yeah, I suppose that’s a possibility, but there is a way. Instead of telling him to his face, leave him a letter.’
‘It seems a bit cowardly.’
‘So what? If it makes it easier for you, that’s all that matters.’
‘You’re right. I’ll write a letter and I’ll make it a strong one, saying that my father’s lawyer is acting on my behalf. I’ll also say I’ve taken advisement, and I will allow him and his mother to see William every other weekend when I will bring him to see them, starting with this coming Sunday. That arrangement to continue until the courts grant him official access.’
‘It sounds very official. It could work.’
‘He still might come storming to my father’s house.’
‘All that talk of lawyers, taking advisement and court may be enough to put him off.’
‘I hope so, but with him asleep in bed I’m going to have to pack very quietly and then write that letter.’
‘Is he a heavy sleeper?’
‘Yes, until early afternoon.’
‘Just in case William cries and disturbs Albie, leave him with me.’
‘Thanks, Jill, you’re a wonderful friend. My father’s house has been unlived in now for around five months, so it’ll need a good airing, but if you’d like to see it you could come with me today.’
‘Yeah, I’d love that, and anyway you’re probably going to need a hand.’
‘Yes, and a taxi. William’s pram won’t fit so I’ll have to leave it, and his cot, behind.’
‘You can afford to replace them.’
‘I’ll go and pack my things now, but my tummy feels like it’s full of butterflies.’
‘Look, even if Albie wakes up and catches you, he isn’t going to lash out. Unlike my Denis, he doesn’t use his fists.’
‘I know, but I’d rather avoid a scene. I’ll just have to be as quiet as a mouse.’
And she was, but it was over half an hour before she returned to Jill’s lugging two suitcases. ‘I didn’t pack everything. Clothes can be replaced. But we’ll still need a taxi.’
Thankfully Jill had a pushchair and she managed to cram Andrew and William in together. They thought it was a great game, so while Jill pushed them to the main road, Constance carried the cases. Luckily, there were no neighbours around, though Constance was sure she saw some curtains twitching. She didn’t care. She was leaving Kibble Street and, other than bringing William to see his father, she wouldn’t be coming back again.
‘My goodness, Connie, this house is huge,’ Jill said as they went from room to room, Constance flinging open curtains and some windows. ‘It’s got, what, twelve bedrooms? I’ve lost count!’
‘Yes, but we hardly used any of them. There’s just the basement to see now,’ she said, leading Jill downstairs. Constance was carrying William, but Andrew, able to toddle now, held his mother’s hand.
‘Crikey, it’s a big kitchen, and a proper flat.’
‘Cook used to live down here, but when my father closed the house he got rid of her, and the cleaners.’
‘I can’t imagine having a cook and cleaners.’
‘I feel awful about it now, but I’m afraid I took them for granted. Living in this house and being waited on was all I knew.’
‘It must have been a huge shock when you moved to Kibble Street.’
‘Yes, it was.’
‘Well, love, you can employ a cook and cleaners again now.’
‘No, I won’t be doing that. I’ve learned to look after myself, with Dora to thank for that. From now on I’m capable of making meals and doing the housework.’
‘But this house is huge.’
‘I’ll only use part of it and shut off the top two floors.’
‘That could work, but it’s a shame not to put the rooms to good use.’
Connie pondered this, an inkling of an idea beginning to form, but for now she had to take care of the practicalities. William needed a pram and a cot, and with no food in the house, she had to go shopping.
Albie woke up at three-thirty, and almost immediately sensed that something was wrong. The wardrobe door was open and even from his side of the room he could see that most of Connie’s clothes had been removed.
He got out of bed, checked the drawers and saw that Billy’s clothes were gone too. He knew then – knew that the bitch had left him – and hurried downstairs. The letter was propped on the mantelpiece and he ripped it open.
After reading it, Albie flopped onto a chair. Well, she’d threatened it, but he hadn’t expected her father to take her in. He read the letter again, his anger mounting. Who did she think she was, telling him she’d allow him to see his son every other Sunday?
His mother was going to go potty, and he had a good mind to go to her father’s house right now to take his son back. However, the bit about the lawyer worried him, and in truth he was happy just to see the sprog every other weekend. It wasn’t that Connie had left him that fuelled his anger, it was losing his cash cow, and if she got the marriage annulled he could kiss goodbye to the inheritance when her father died.
Albie made himself a drink, and waited for his mother to come home. He would break the news to her, but then, without Connie around, she’d have to get on with cooking his dinner.
At just after five-thirty the front door opened and Dora came in, her eyes as always seeking Billy. Albie said shortly, ‘Connie’s left me and she’s taken him with her.’
‘What! No! You’ll have to find her and bring her bac
k.’
‘I don’t have to find her. I know where she is. At her father’s house.’
‘But … but I thought you said he wouldn’t take her in.’
‘Yeah, well, he’s obviously changed his mind,’ Albie said, handing his mother the letter. ‘Read that and then how about some grub. I’m starving.’
‘I don’t believe this. Your wife has left you, taking your son, but all you seem worried about is food.’
Albie shrugged. ‘She’s gonna bring Billy to see us every other weekend, and that’s fine with me.’
‘But, Albie, I’m going to miss him so much.’
‘You’ll still be seeing him, starting on Sunday.’
‘When she brings him here, don’t give him back.’
‘Oh, yeah, and who is going to look after him? You’re at work, and I need my sleep during the day.’
‘Shit, yeah, point taken, but I warned you this would happen. I told you to be a proper husband to Connie.’
‘Don’t go on about it. I’ve got to go to work soon and I’m hungry.’
With a heavy sigh his mother headed for the kitchen, leaving Albie wondering if there was a way to get more money out of Connie’s father before the marriage was annulled. He could threaten that he was going to apply for sole custody of his son, but then pursed his lips. Burton Blake was a cold fish and he doubted it would bother him. He’d probably be pleased to get the baby out of his house. There had to be a way though, some sort of threat that would make the man open his coffers.
Constance had been glad of Jill’s help. There was now food in the cupboards, and a new pram and cot being delivered in the morning, along with some other equipment: a high chair and playpen.
‘Jill, I can’t thank you enough. I’d never have managed without you.’
‘No need to thank me, but I don’t know about you, I’m bushed.’
‘Yes, I am too,’ Constance said, rubbing her feet.
‘I’d best get home.’
‘Wait, don’t get up. I’m going to order you a taxi.’
‘You don’t have to do that.’
‘Yes, I do,’ Constance said and went to the telephone.
It was twenty minutes before a taxi arrived, and Constance put some money into Jill’s hand. ‘That will cover the fare, with a little bit over to treat yourself.’
‘No, Constance, there’s no need for that.’
‘Get something for Andrew then, a new toy or some sweeties.’
‘Here,’ Jill said, trying to hand the money back.
Constance wouldn’t take it and said firmly as she picked up Jill’s pushchair, ‘You should go. The taxi is waiting.’
With a sigh of resignation, Jill left, and once she was settled in the cab, Constance waved at her until it was out of sight. She then went back inside, the empty house eerie with just her and William in it. She kept herself busy, fed William, but just made herself a sandwich.
By early evening, with William settled down for the night, Constance was feeling lost and alone. The house was far too big for the two of them, and her mind turned to an idea she’d had earlier. She knew what it felt like to be forced into a marriage with no other choice. There were also young women like Penny, made to give up their babies because they had nowhere to go or the means to support them.
In her new circumstances, Constance wanted to offer an alternative. Her dream was now to turn the house into some sort of refuge, but it would have to be costed to see if it was financially viable. Constance went to her father’s study to find a notebook and pen, and filled the rest of the evening by writing copious notes. Surely a single mother could apply for some sort of welfare benefits, and if so that would mean they could pay a contribution to the household expenditure. There was so much to think about, so many options, but one thing Constance knew for certain – she was going to need help.
‘Albie, when are you going to leave her and move in permanently with me? I hate it when you leave me to go back to Battersea every morning.’
‘I’m with you every night once I finish work.’
‘It isn’t the same. I want you with me all the time, but instead I feel like your bit on the side.’
‘You know you’re more than that,’ Albie said, but then a customer wanted attention and he moved along the bar to serve them. ‘What can I get you?’
‘Are you on offer or is it only drinks?’
‘Cheeky,’ Albie said, smiling. He was used to this, the chat-up lines, but he only had eyes for one person nowadays. ‘Only drinks, I’m afraid. What can I get you?’
‘Shame. I rather like you. Oh, well, two gin and tonics, please.’
When he returned it was to find a sulky face. ‘I heard you getting chatted up. You’re too good-looking, that’s the problem.’
‘My looks are a problem?’ he asked wryly as he took his break and sat down.
‘No, of course not. Take no notice of me. You always draw attention and I should be used to it by now.’
‘Yours is the only attention I want,’ Albie said with a suggestive smile.
‘Oh, Albie, when you look at me like that I just want to drag you back to my flat.’
‘You can, in about two hours,’ he said, hardening at the thought of what was on offer. Now that Connie had left him, there was no reason why he couldn’t move in permanently. However, he didn’t want to do that with empty pockets and only his measly wage. There was also his mother to consider. If he could leave her with a nice chunk of money, it could soften the blow and he’d go to see her regularly. Not only that, he would have to find a way to move out without her finding where, and who, he was living with. ‘Do you know anything about divorce laws?’
‘I’m afraid not, but Rupert is sitting over there and he should. He’s a lawyer.’
‘I’ll go and have a word with him.’
‘Do that, darling, but then come back to me.’
‘You can bet on that,’ he said, and after talking to Rupert he returned with a wide smile on his face. The man didn’t know a great deal about divorce law, but if what he’d said was correct, things would be perfect, and soon a nice chunk of money should be heading his way.
Chapter 36
‘What do you think, Ethel?’ Constance asked on Saturday afternoon, after talking of her plans for the house.
‘I dunno, pet. It’s going to be a lot of work and will cost a lot of money.’
‘Money isn’t a problem. My father has left me a lot more than I expected.’
‘Are you sure you aren’t just doing this because you don’t want to live alone in that big house?’
‘Of course not. If that was the case I would sell it and buy something smaller.’
‘I do think it’s a smashing idea, but running a refuge is going to be a lot to manage.’
‘I don’t intend to run it on my own. I’ll get help.’
‘That sounds sensible. I’d imagine you’re going to need it.’
William was now crawling. Constance picked him up before he reached the hearth and said, ‘I’d still like you and Mary to live with me.’
‘No, love, I’m sorry. I’m too old to help you now, and we’re both happy here.’
‘I don’t expect you to help me. I would just love to have you living with me.’
‘If you’re serious about this refuge, we’d be taking up rooms that are needed for the young women you want to help.’
‘Is there anything I can say to make you change your mind?’
‘No, love, as I said, we’re happy here.’
‘All right, but as my father has left me well off at least let me do something for you. I could buy you a house, one with an inside bathroom and in this area as you love it so much.’
‘You’ll do no such thing. I’m not a flippin’ charity case.’
‘Oh, Ethel, I didn’t mean to upset you.’
The old woman’s face softened again. ‘I know you didn’t, love, but despite what you may think, I’m not hard up. I saved a good deal of my wages whe
n I worked for your parents, so I’ve got a nice little nest egg tucked away. If I wanted to find a flat with an inside toilet and bathroom I could, but I’ve settled here now and like my neighbours.’
‘Isn’t there anything you need?’
‘Yeah, a nice cuppa, so go and put the kettle on the gas.’
‘Oh, Ethel, you and your tea,’ Constance said, smiling again. She had to accept Ethel’s decision and get on with her plans. It was a shame though. The house in Clapham just didn’t feel the same without her.
‘Don’t, Denis, please, don’t hit me again,’ Jill begged when her husband returned that evening, drunk and reeling.
‘Well, do it properly this time.’
Jill tried, just as she had done so many times before, but she knew it wouldn’t work. Drink had made him impotent, and no amount of trying could arouse him. She would never understand why he wanted sex when he was in this state, and she wished he would just pass out. She wondered if Denis was abnormal, perverted in some way, but there was nobody she could ask. She’d be too ashamed to admit to the things he made her do.
‘Come on, you useless cow.’
Something snapped and she yelled, ‘It’s not me who’s useless, it’s you.’
But that was a mistake. Denis’s eyes narrowed, his lips tightened, and then the first blow landed. She dropped to the floor and curled into a ball, but Denis grabbed a handful of her hair to drag her up again. She prayed it would be over soon, and thankfully he ran out of steam quite quickly due to his inebriated state, so it was. She left him passed out and sprawled on the sofa, knowing that in the morning she would face a different side of Denis. He’d be so sorry, tearful even, when he saw what he’d done. And like a fool she would forgive him. She always did.
On Sunday Constance dressed with trepidation. She was taking William to see Albie, but now wished she’d left it a bit longer. He might still be angry and she should have given him enough time to calm down.
With her new pushchair travelling was easier, but as she didn’t want to arrive at the door in a taxi she got out at the top of Kibble Street. She knocked on the door and it was a sour-faced Dora who opened it.