by Namita Singh
say, “You’re fine with him being…a guy?”
Father sighs, “I don’t see why I shouldn’t be fine with it.”
“Maybe because we expect partners to get married.” I blurt, then wince.
Father, to my utter surprise, smirks. He looks me in the eye, “Are you fine with it?” he challenges.
“Yes.” I say without hesitation.
“Then I don’t see why I shouldn’t be fine with it.”
I abruptly add, “I am not going to marry him.” My voice sounds panicky to my own ears,“I am not gay.”
Father simply watches me, his smirk gone. He waits for me to continue.
“But…” I continue, “I want to be with him…just as friends,” I quickly add, “I wish to be close to him at an emotional level, but not romantically.”
Father says nothing. Instead he seems in deep thought.
“Is that possible?” I blurt again.
Father sighs, “I have got Ethan and Vincent here for all sorts of queries you have. They are here for a week, so you can clearwhatever sorts of doubts you have.”
I bite my lip, a dirty habit I seemed to have picked up from Aakir, “Okay.” I say.
“Okay.” Father says, getting up and placing his towel in the nearby chair, “Now, let me rest.”
I ignore his request, “Did you know that it was possible to have a same gender partner?” I ask hastily. My father has returned after a long time. He may be tired but I really want to talk to him. Though I probably should let him rest. After a couple of more questions maybe.
Father clears his throat, “Not exactly…but considering the basis on which a partner is selected, I supposed it is a possibility.”
I nod. “Are they…” I clear my throat, struggling with words, “Ethan and Vincent….they are…they-”
“Gay?” Father drawls, a slightly amused expression on his usually sober face. The word sounds oddly foreign on his tongue as if he has said it the first time. As if he is testing the word on his tongue.
“No.” I blurt, “I mean, yeah. I mean,” I grimace, trying to form a firm thought, “Are they, like, hmm, together? You know…” I trail off.
My father nods slowly, “From what I could gather, yes. They live in a domestic partnership in their state.”
“Oh.”
“Josh,” Father begins, “Ethan and Vincent have specially come here to ease your conscience and maybe tell you a few things to prepare yourself for…” he waves his hand idly, wordlessly indicating my situation, “And I am quite assured that they’ll welcome any sort of question you have, even the blunt ones. Doesn’t matter if it’s about them or about yourself. They are here to provide advice in whatever form they can. So don’t beat yourself over it. Talk to them. You have plenty of time to understand your situation better. And I am sure they’ll leave their contacts in case you have doubts in the farther future as well.” Father smiles, “So don’t worry and let me rest now.”
I take the hint and get up from the comfortable spot to move out. I smile back at father sheepishly before I gently shut the door on my way out.
Rome’s shrieking dies soon enough, thank the lords.Giddy, I joyously eat supper with my siblings. Faith pressurizes me to tell her ‘everything’, which I do not know what exactly means. I just tell her, in gist, the conversation between myself and father. The ladies of the house return soon and are informed of the return of my father along with the guests. Happily, as always, my mother cooks dinner for the elders who plan to dine much later, probably when the guests and my father are done with their ephemeral naps. It doesn’t take long. At around nine thirty, Ethan is the first one to descend. He comes, smiling and looking rested, and greets my mother and Rufina aunt heartily.
Aunt Gwen doesn’t join us, not even to at least show her face to the guests.
Not that I am surprised. I am just saying.
“It smells delicious.” Ethan compliments my mother as he joins us on the kitchen island.
“You must be hungry after the long flight.” Mother smiles indulgently at him.
“Oh, you have no idea.”
It’s quick to understand that Ethan is a very…uh, honest person. He feels something, he says it.
“Well, I can sense Nikolai, he is up.” Terry uncle says. Even I notice that my father’s aura is moving about on the first floor. “What about Vincent?”
“Oh, Vince is going to take his sweet time.” Ethan rolls his eyes, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets up in the morning. He can be astonishingly lazy.”
“But he must be hungry. He must eat dinner.” My mother sings, moving back and forth working in the kitchen.
“Uh, if it’s not a bother,” Ethan starts, looking apprehensively at my mother, “you can save a bit for him. In case he gets up in the middle of the night and is desirous of eating, then I’ll offer him.”
“Oh, sure, that’s perfectly fine.”
“Are you sure he wouldn’t want to join us?” My father speaks as soon as he enters the kitchen, his eyes at Ethan.
Ethan gives my father a droll look, “Come on. You’ve spent three days with us. You should know who the talker is and who is just an escort.” Ethan smirks.
Everybody chuckles at that.
“Well,” My father says, a pondering look combined with slight amusement on his face, “Considering how you keep looking at Vincent, expecting his consent during finalizing a situation, I am partly surprised that you’re ready to dive into dinner without his permission.”
“Oh, what do you know, big man?” Ethan chides, grinning, “Those are my ways of keeping him in grasp, which I am sure,” He looks at my mother, “Your wife must be very familiar with.”
“All the wives are.” Terry uncle chuckles.
“All the partners are.” My father corrects them.
“Yeah, yeah,” Ethan says, a sarcastic grin directed at my father, “I know you feel shy to call me the ‘wife’.”
Such teasing conversation continues on between the elders. Faith is grinning from ear to ear as her eyes dodge from one elder to another. Aakir, much like me, looks abashed. I can’t believe the elders are talking in this fashion. I mean, alright, my family is pretty advanced, not at all orthodox. But to hear them joke so nonchalantly with a…gay man about his partner is something I don’t see on a day to day basis. Ethan doesn’t look gay at all. He is an easygoing guy, almost like Terry uncle, with the streak of redefined humor. He laughs and makes other laugh more, just like any other funny guy.There is nothing ‘gay’ about it, unless you mean the happy ‘gay’. Still, he converses as casually about Vincent as Faith does about Rahul. There is no doubt with the innuendos in their conversation that Ethan and Vincent are pretty much…together-together. From what I understand of Ethan’s babbling, his partner, Vincent, is rather quiet. He prefers to offer silent comfort as opposed to Ethan who talks at miles per hour. Though, he is an equally good listener. He listens in rapt attention as my mother gushes over the scenery they can enthrall themselves with during their stay. Bowls of ice cream crinkles against the silverware, as everybody feasts on the supposed desert.
“The sand is whitest in Liepāja.” My mother boasts, smiling, “You’ll find no sand as white in all of ‘merica.”
“Actually,” Ethan replies, “we don’t get to see much of beaches since we live in Kansas.”
“That’s a shame.”
“But I plan to make up for the lack of it. I can even hear the whooshing of sea from here.” Ethan says, tilting his head as he pretends to listen to the endless mellifluence of the sea.
My mother laughs, a chiming sound in the already noisy dining room. “We do take pride in the fact that we live right next to the beach.”
“Oh?” Ethan says, smiling and looking around, his empty bowl resting after thorough digging. His eyes rest on me as I gulp down the vanilla through my throat, “Maybe Josh can give me a night stroll to it? If he doesn’t mind?”
“Hmm hmm.” My mother says nonchalantly, smiling. She get
s up and starts clearing the table of empty utensils.
“Uh…yeah, sure.” I say, slightly taken aback by his sudden request. It’s already nearing eleven PM at night. I don’t have school tomorrow so I shouldn’t worry. But it’s for a different reason I am worrying. Since Ethan has joined us, I have spoken two, maybe three, words with him. Aakir and I are just settled back, listening to the elders and chuckling as one of them cracks an enough decent joke. I know Ethan and his partner are precisely here for my benefit. But with the way he was going on and on about the endless vague topics with my elders, I believed he will encounter me on a personal basis tomorrow. Apparently, he does plan to talk to me before the night ends.
That should be understandable. My father has brought these two men all the way across to another continent just so I can pragmaticallyand calmly handle the issue of my partner. I can’t believe these guys agreed to travel this far to satiate a kid’s curiosity but hey, I shouldn’t be complaining. I may have been satisfied by my father’s acceptance and explanation alone, the former of which I have received. For the latter, perhaps father himself doesn’t know what to express on the issue. It’s not every day that he wakes up to learn that his son is a potential gay man.
I give a fleeting glance towards Aakir and then towards my father, both of whom give me slight nods. I sigh and then smile as Ethan approaches me. I nod my head towards the backdoor of our house, indicating that he follow me. Slowly, we move out, our hands buried in the pockets of our trousers, our pace