by Namita Singh
enthusiastic as she is with Aakir, I and Faith. She coddles each of them, earning appreciative chuckles and smiles from them. Neal looks potentially embarrassed when she pinches his cheeks. But he manages to grin politely in return. He catches my eye. I do not know what he sees on my face but whatever he sees makes his grin diminish significantly. I avert my eyes.
Erisna leads us towards the row of rooms. She looks exultant, occasionally caressing her daughter’s cheeks. The kids are allotted rooms. Not for permanent residence. The boys are given one ridiculously large room while Silvia and Faith are given a different room. We are asked to wait and get fresh as our elders drop of their luggage and get ready to meet other people. We kids are to remain behind. Before leaving with the rest, my father gestures for me to come outside. I walk out in the hallway where my father pauses.
“Lock the door from the inside.” He tells me, “And whatever happens, do not let Neal leave this room. And do not open the room for anybody other than us. Alright?”
Frowning, I nod at him.
“There is water and some fruits inside the room itself. We shouldn’t take long.” With that, he pats my shoulder and turns away to leave.
“Dad?” I call him, making him turn and give me a questioning look. I hesitate but then the words eventually spill out of my mouth, “Are your parents alive too?”
Father’s shoulders sag at my question. Now he has noticed my disappointment in case he had failed to notice it a few minutes back. He appraises me for a moment then he nods, almost in reluctance, “My father is well and alive.”
“Mikhail Lichinsky?” I confirm, the name of my grandfather that I had thought was dead etched in my memory.
“Mikhail Lichinsky.” Father acquiesces. I do not say anything as we stare for a long moment. He hesitates but finally says, “If you will know our plight, you will know why we deem it best for you to be ignorant.”
“But I do not know your plight.” I say emotionlessly though I am sure my father manages to sense the tons of disappointment I have filled in that single sentence. Without listening to his response, I turn around and enter the room, locking it behind me.
Aakir is standing in the middle of the room, looking at me as I enter. He has heard of my accusation towards my father. I ignore his stare and look at the other two guys. Rahul is sitting at the edge of the bed, looking solemn for once. Neal is peering outside the huge window, probably looking at the huge garden outside. He turns around as soon as he senses my entry.
“What happened?” Neal asks me.
I share a look with Aakir and turn back at Neal, “You’re not supposed to leave the room.” I tell him quietly.
Neal huffs inaudibly, “Thought we were here so I do not have to stay as a prisoner.” He mutters.
“Don’t forget that we are stuck with you too.” I return in a much harsher tone than I was intending. I briefly close my eyes, trying to calm myself. The day is starting to take its toll on me. Specifically the knowledge that people whom I thought dead are alive and right in this mansion is not at all settling well with me. I feel almost betrayed, as if my father thought me to be insignificant to not be aware of the existence of my own grandparents.
“And remember that I don’t ask you to.” Neal replies in a hard tone.
I look at Neal only to find him giving me a hard glare. With my distressed thoughts, having a verbal slap is something I do not want at all. His glare only makes me return one of my own even more fervently, “Why the fuck do you always make us look like the bad guys?” I snap harshly.
“Josh.” Aakir warns.
“Maybe because you treat me like an incompetent.” Neal snaps back, “Like I am nothing more than a fragile pup of yours.”
“That’s rich coming from you when we are the ones groveling at your feet.” I angrily reply.
“Really?” Neal scoffs, “From what I have been noticing, you are always insistent on ordering me around.”
“Guys calm down.” Aakir says.
“For your own benefit.” I snap at Neal, “You think I like following you like a lost puppy?”
“Yeah, I know how much compulsion you’re under.” Neal sneers, “No need to rub it in my face.”
“Jesus, guys.” Aakir snaps but we still ignore him.
I continue with my rant, “So, maybe you should start listening to us. Not only will that tame the tension due to my compulsion-”
“You better just give it up.” Neal quips.
“-but also because my ‘orders’ make fucking more sense-”
“Because fuck I know how much I hate you being the boss of me.”
“-than your stupid stubborn antics!”
“I am being stubborn? What about you being my dad all the time?”
“At least that keeps you freaking safe.”
“More like on a leash! What would be the damn difference if I just go away with Jen aunt? She wouldn’t treat me any differently.”
“Then next time, grab the chance of running away if my demeanor bothers you so much!”
“Oh, I will definitely consider.” Neal snaps, “Much better than listening to your temper tantrums.”
“You’re the one who has a problem with every fucking ‘order’ I giveand I am the fuckhead throwing temper tantrums?” I yell at him.
“At least I do not take out my anger regarding my family on others!”
“You don’t have a family!”
The next thing I know, a harsh force collides with my chest and I end up banging my back against the door behind me, making it clang noisily. Aakir is giving me a harsh glare, his hand forceful against my chest, keeping me at bay. But his hateful glare is not required. The silence that commences after my last remark is deafening. I look at Neal who is still standing near the window. He doesn’t look angry anymore. In fact he looks nothing. His face displays no emotion as he simply stares at me. And I realize how much of a big sore spot I have hit on. After conforming in my mind that I have spoken wrongly, my anger just flares up more as if I cannot believe that I can act so childishly. Only because I am having a bad day.
Aakir lets go of me. I say nothing neither do I move an inch. I am suddenly engulfed with such hatred for the situation I am in. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to fight or pass insolent comments. I don’t want to know what all about my parents have been lying to me. I do not want to know how much a danger my partner is in or how ireful I am regarding his behavior. I feel stretched to the maximum point, as if a small stimulus will make me burst like a suppressed volcano. I need to cool down, my panic thoughts convey. I need to chill out, maybe-
“What the hell is wrong with you guys?” Aakir breaks in my reverie. He gives a disappointed look to Neal and then turns his disappointment at me, “I didn’t even know partners could fight.” He snaps at me, glaring in a reprimanding manner.
That is it for me.
“You should fucking stop doing this.” I snap, my voice coming out much, much bitter.
Aakir’s stare hardens at my tone, “Stop what?”
“This.” I irately wave my hand at him, “Stop comparing me with you! Stop comparing my situation with yours. You do not have a fucking GUY for a partner!”
With that, I turn around and hastily snatch the door open. With a loud noise that echoes in the hallway, I clang shut the door behind me as I move out. I find myself aimlessly walking through the hallway. Before I know it, I am walking out of the huge mahogany doors which seem to remain open at all times. I walk out on the porch and pause at the steps. For a few moments I only concentrate on my heavy breathing, trying to reign in my harsh thoughts. After five minutes of only concentrating on my breathing, I sit down on the front steps, my posture immediately slacking. I notice that this mansion, despite its size, seems mostly vacant. Of course my parents and my aunt and uncle are somewhere inside, talking with my grandparents, I think bitterly. That thought is only making me more infuriated. Through the angry faze, I marvel if this huge mansion belongs to my grandparents. If my grandpa
rents formed the council of this realm? If Mikhail Lichinsky is still the leader of this realm?
The houses beyond the gates of the mansion are normal, homely houses. If I concentrate hard enough, I can even see and sense some of the people moving about in the street. But mostly it is not overtly crowded, owing to the time, I suppose. It is going to be noon. People must be working or doing whatever shit they do at noon on weekdays. And here I am, wallowing in my own thoughts.
After spending about fifteen minutes on the porch, my anger starts fading. Neal is right. I have basically taken out my anger due to my family upon him. Neal was being his usual sarcastic self, nothing different there. He has anyways been a little ticked with me since last night. I cannot help but notice how much negativity I have expressed regarding my partner within all of two-three minutes. It’s not like Neal’s stubborn behavior bothers me much. It certainly doesn’t bother me as much as I have expressed to him. I can’t help but ponder over what he must be thinking.
After another ten minutes, I feel the tamed form of the pleasant vivacity that is disposed by my partner. I frown and look behind me at the doors. I hear the dull thuds of the steps that are traversing towards me. I suspire. I should have known Neal will come for me sooner or later. He isn’t supposed to be out of the room. The full blast of his aura hits me when he escapes the inside and moves outtowards the porch. Still sitting on the steps and frowning, I turn to look back at him. He is stoic