by Briann Danae
When She’s Broken
BriAnn Danae
Copyright © 2018 by BriAnn Danae
Published by Beyond The Book Publications
www.BriAnnDanae.net
All Rights Reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written consent of the publisher, except brief quotations in review form.
This is a work of fiction. Any characters, places, objects, references or similarities to actual events, real people, living or dead, or to real locals are intended to give the novel a sense of reality. Any similarity in other names, characters, places, and incidents are entirely coincidental and are solely of the Author’s imagination.
Contents
When She’s Broken
Preface
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Epilogue
Message from BriAnn
Also by BriAnn Danae
Now Available for PRE-ORDER
When She’s Broken
Written by
BriAnn Danae
Preface
Lying stiff as a board, Astryd tried calming her rapid heartbeat down. Her nerves were damn near getting the best of her, but she couldn’t allow them to. Not now. With her back facing him, her eyes were trained on the door leading to their bathroom. It was slightly cracked and letting in a glimmer of light. Inhaling a deep breath, she gently peeled the thick comforter from her frame and slowly eased from underneath the damp sheet. A thin layer of perspiration had long ago coated her body because she was so nervous. So anxious to finally be doing this.
Swallowing the anxiety down her throat, Astryd placed one foot onto the hardwood floor, and her body immediately froze with fear when she heard him begin to shift in bed. Had I moved too much? She thought as her closed eyes pooled with tears. He came in drunk five hours ago, a little past midnight wanting sex. He always wanted sex even if she wasn’t in the mood. A silent prayer was sent up to God. Astryd was begging him to let this “man” remain sleep. When a light snore escaped him and echoed through their bedroom, she sighed with relief before placing her other foot on the ground.
On shaky legs, she was finally on her feet. She gripped her cell phone tightly in her right hand so it wouldn’t slip out. The palms of her hands were extremely sweaty. Her stomach churned as realization settled in. Clad in all her nakedness, Astryd carefully tiptoed to their bathroom being sure to avoid the spot on the wood floor that creaked loudly once stepped on. Sweat rolled down her back as she stepped inside. Too afraid to look back, not wanting to at this point, she rushed to their massive walk-in closet.
The bathroom echoed much too loudly for the phone call she was about to make. Leaving the closet door slightly ajar, Astryd scrambled on her knees to the furthest part of the closet, sat against the wall and pulled her knees to her chest. The plush carpet felt amazing against her naked frame, and honestly, if she could, she’d much rather sleep in the closet than lie in bed with him every night.
She stared at the entrance of the closet for over two minutes with her listening skills tuned in to any movement. When she didn’t hear any was when she finally unlocked her phone. The brightness from the screen had been dimmed to the point you could hardly see a thing on it, but she had trained herself to see and read everything even in darkness. She had been in it for so long; Astryd grew accustomed to it.
The ten-digit number she committed to memory stared back at her on the keypad. Having typed it more times than she’d like to admit; Astryd was finally ready to use it. Her hands shook uncontrollably, and chills covered her arms as the air conditioner kicked on.
I must do this.
In her mind, this was the only other option if she wanted her situation to change. Her life to change, yet again. All the bullshit, hurt, lies, pain, the emotional and physical abuse he put her through had taken a toll on her. Not just her body, but her mind and soul. Her toxic relationship had drained her of the happiness she used to be filled with. The days of smiling because it was genuinely done were of the past.
Designer clothing draped over her head and shoulders as she tapped the green phone button to connect the call. The first ring rocked her core as she struggled to control her breathing. For months, she had been planning this, and now she didn’t know if it were such a great idea. Before she could hang up and take what she assumed was the coward way out, the operator answered the phone.
“Hi, may I help you?”
Silence.
Astryd was stuck. She didn’t know what words to even use after having rehearsed them in her head a thousand times.
“Hi. How can I help you?” the young woman spoke again.
“Hi,” Astryd replied in her soft whisper tone.
“Hi, ma’am. How can I help you this morning?”
It was five in the morning. She was praying the young woman could help her. Anybody at this point. Astryd couldn’t help herself.
“Is this… is this the women’s shelter?”
“It’s the hotline for shelters, yes. Are you seeking shelter?”
Astryd’s eyelids closed tightly. Her throat ached from the pain she felt having to answer the question, but she knew it had to be answered. Tears stung her eyes as she nodded her head.
“Yes. He’s… he’s so different now,” she said more to herself.
“Are you currently in danger?” the woman asked as she began to take notes.
Astryd’s eyes looked up to the door. When she didn’t see him standing there, she shook her head from side to side.
“No. Not right now. I don’t think I’m really in danger… I just. I guess I wanted to know my options,” she let out quickly and quietly.
As the woman began to ask her an array of questions pertaining to her life, Astryd couldn’t believe some of the things she had endured over the years. Her mind was boggled at the idea of being in a domestic violence relationship. To her, she just thought maybe he had gotten a little jealous over the years and loved her differently.
I’m being crazy. This was a bad idea.
“Hi. Are you still there?” the operator asked.
Astryd closed her eyes and sighed. “Yes. But, I think I’ll just call back later. I don’t think I can leave him yet.”
“Are you sure? If you’re in any danger, you can always call the poli-”
“Who you on the phone with?”
Astryd’s eyes flew open, and she flinched so hard at the sound of his deep voice, the phone fell from her hand. When their eyes connected, she blinked back tears. Whatever answer he was looking for, she was terrified of giving it. In a pair of boxers and nothing else, Alonzo stood at the closet door with his hands behind his back waiting for her to answer him. Astryd shook her head from side to side.
“No one?” he questioned.
She shook her head again.
His jaw ticked. Making slow, long strides over to her, his 6’3 frame towered over hers as he bent down to pick up her phone. The operator was still on the line, and she was silently praying for the timid young woman.
“Who the fuck is this?” he boomed, making Astryd scramble to scoot away from him. Grabbing her thigh, he squeezed it tightly forcing her to stay directly in front of him.
The operator stayed quiet. For confidentiality purposes, she couldn’t disclose who she was or what she did. Especially not in this type of situation. Astryd’s life could be on the line. When she didn’t answer, he chuckled.
“A’ight. You don’t want to answer? Maybe she will,” he grimaced, pulling a gun from behind him.
Astryd went to scream, but he stopped her.
“Nah. Don’t make noise now. You trying to fucking leave me?” he hissed as the gun grazed Astryd’s scalp.
Afraid to move her head, she spoke in a shaky breath terrified of the lie she was about to tell. “No.”
“That’s what I heard, though. You can't leave me now? Then, when? And, whoever this is was going to help you?” he gritted through clenched teeth, wanting to slap her across her beautiful face.
Again, she shook her head no as a tear rolled down her cheek.
“You love me?” he asked.
“Yes,” she voiced.
“If you love me, why you trying to leave me then?”
“I’m not. I promise,” she sniffled. “I love you.”
“You hear that mufucka? She loves me. But, clearly, she must love you too if she’s trying to leave me. I hope you know you just got her killed.”
BOOM!
Hopping up from her sleep, Astryd placed a hand on the side of her head and closed her eyes. Fuck, it was a dream. Her body was soaked in sweat, and her heart was beating faster than it ever had in her life. Struggling to breathe, her body quaked as she began to cry. The warm body lying next to her lifted before pulling Astryd into its embrace.
“What’s the matter?” he asked softly, wrapping his arms around her waist.
She shook her head trying to get back to reality. “It felt so real. This dream.”
“But, it wasn’t. It was probably just a nightmare,” he reassured her, before kissing her temple. “Let me get you something to drink.”
Astryd nodded in the dark. “Okay.”
When he climbed from the bed, she pulled her knees to her chest and sat staring at the bathroom door that was slightly opened displaying a glimmer of light. The same light in her dream. Her eyes were full of curiosity and hope. She was hoping this was the last dream she ever had like that. But, more importantly, she was curious as to why she had it.
Should it have been me, first?
The question burned her up inside, and whatever answer she needed to ease her mind was never going to come. It was too late.
Chapter One
“Astryd,” Alonzo called out from the bedroom door.
She was sleeping a little too peacefully, and her alarm had gone off ten minutes ago. Tucked away underneath their white duvet, Astryd stretched her arms above her head and rolled over. The sun was shining directly in her face, and she groaned with annoyance. Not because she had to wake up, but because she wished Alonzo had gotten the girls ready this morning. She had literally just laid down a few hours ago.
After arriving home from work, the house was a complete mess, and of course, they waited until she was home, so she could clean up. Tossing the cover from over her head, that was yanked back anyway, she flinched at how close Alonzo was standing over her.
“Weren’t you just by the door?” she asked, with a yawn.
“Yeah. Get up. It’s almost seven-thirty. You done let that alarm go off for ten fucking minutes. Ashlee’s gotta be at the daycare in a few.”
Alonzo stared down at her as she looked up at him and wiped the sleep from her eyes. “Did you get her dressed? And, where’s Ashlynn?”
“In the living room watching cartoons and eating cereal,” he grumbled. “How does a two-year-old be that hungry as soon as they wake up?”
Astryd shrugged as she climbed from the bed and glared at his back. She knew he hadn’t answered her question about getting Ashlee dressed because he hadn’t. Thankfully, she was at the age now where she could dress herself on mornings like this. Instead of starting an argument so early, she decided to hold her tongue.
“I don’t know. You work today?”
“Nah.” The sound of her sucking her teeth made Alonzo turn around. “What you doing all that for?”
“I didn’t do anything.”
Alonzo shook his head. “Come here.”
Walking over to him in nothing but a pair of panties and a tank top on, he pulled Astryd into his embrace with ease. Her 5’5, 136-pound frame melted into his as Alonzo gripped her ass. Five years into their relationship with two daughters, and a group of family members who stayed in their ear, Astryd was waiting for the day a shift happened within her home. Everything with them had been so routine for the last few years, and she needed change immediately before she lost it.
“What I tell you about questioning me, huh? Do I question you?” Alonzo asked, and Astryd so badly wanted to yell out yes but shook her head no.
“No.”
“Aight, then. I know you tired, but you better watch that shit. Give me a kiss.”
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she kissed him with stank breath and all. Alonzo didn’t give a fuck. Having been the only man Astryd has been intimate with since they got together, he was used to it by now. The two met while she was in school in 2012 but didn’t start dating until 2013. Alonzo was twenty-four when they met and still pursued the twenty-year-old. When Astryd popped up pregnant with their first daughter, Ashlee, not even a year into them being together, she dropped out of college and moved back home. Three years later, she had her youngest daughter, Ashlynn, and hadn’t gone back since.
Now, at twenty-six the life he promised her while she was away in school and even when she dropped out, was a far cry from her reality today. Alonzo would literally go from one extreme to the next in seconds. The slightest mistake, the tone of her voice, style of dress, and even taking too long to pee some days triggered his anger issues. To this day, Astryd didn’t understand what she did to make him flip the switch on her and the love they shared. Every move from the time she opened her eyes in the morning, to when she closed them at night was made with caution.
With a tight grip on her face, he smacked her ass and lightly shoved her away. “Hurry up and get back. I got shit to do today.”
“I have to be at work at nine,” she mumbled.
Alonzo stopped dead in his tracks. Astryd’s frame shivered at the thought of him giving her a brutal beat down before she had to drop the girls off. Squeezing her eyes shut, she scolded herself for even mentioning her job. Alonzo hated that she worked and made it known every day she went in.
“Did I ask you what fucking time you had to be at work? See, that’s your problem. Get the fuck out my face ‘fore I beat your ass and make you quit that dumb ass job,” he hissed.
Scrambling to the bathroom connected to their bedroom, Astryd did as she was told. Not bothering to close the door, knowing Alonzo hated for her to have her own privacy, she left it open while she released her full bladder. She’d been holding it for so long, she was surprised she didn’t have a UTI by now. Alonzo did ornery shit like not letting her go to the restroom in the middle of the night because, in his mind, she was sneaking off to talk to another man. His insecurities got on Astryd’s nerves the most.
Any man Astryd dated would be proud to claim her as his woman. Her beauty was unmatched. Exotic in looks, but far from the stuck-up type, Astryd was a sight for sore eyes. Long, black, luscious hair framed her copper colored, narrow oval shaped face and flowed down her back. Her pointy nose was courtesy of her father’s white and Asian race. Thick full lips, wide hips on a slim frame that sat upon long legs, and only a blink of breasts, were courtesy of her African American mother.
Unaware of the beauty she held, Astryd allowed Alonzo to diminish her spirit. Hearing him degrade her for so long after she had finally built the courage up and grown into who she was as a young lady, he came and snatched her confidence away. In the mirror, as she brushed her teeth, she ran a hand through her hair and winced from the sore spot in her scalp. It was evidence of the brutal hair pulling Alonzo found the pleasure in doing some nights as he dug her guts out. He was past heavy-handed, but the pain was pleasure to him.
After quickly getting dressed for work and making sure the girls were ready, Astryd slipped out of the room with her purse tossed over her shoulder and headed downstairs to the living room. The giggles of her two-year-old, Ashlynn, filled the air bringing a smile
to her face. There wasn’t anything she loved more than being a mother. Her little girls brought meaning and light to her life, especially when it got so dark sometimes.
“Mommy!” Ashlynn giggled, as Alonzo tickled her round belly.
When she went to pick her up, Alonzo shot her a mean mug. “Don’t you see me holding her,” he hissed as more of a statement rather than a question.
Astryd nodded her head before focusing her attention on Ashlee. Her first born was the spitting image of her mother. Her long ponytail swayed side to side as she adjusted her backpack with a sleepy grin on her face.
“Good morning, ladybug,” Astryd said, kissing her forehead.
“Morning, Mommy. I’m sleepy.”
“I can tell. You ready to go?”
Ashlee nodded just as Ashlynn came and clung to her mother’s leg. Scooping her youngest baby girl up, she turned to Alonzo who was sitting back on the couch in a pair of shorts scrolling through his phone. In that brief moment, Astryd actually found him good looking. She was so deep into the light skin men are in thing back when they met, she was somewhat blinded by the chocolate cutie with a ton of flaws who approached her. Alonzo’s smooth dark skin, dark brown eyes, and clean-cut fade used to mesmerize Astryd. His walk used to make her weak in the knees, and his once inviting smile just made her cringe now. She didn’t understand how something so handsome could be so ugly inside until she met him.
“You done staring?” Alonzo asked, looking up from his phone.
“Can I see my keys?”
He cocked his head to the side.
“Please?”
He nodded his head toward the front door of their three-bedroom townhome. “They on the hook by the door.”