by Briann Danae
“You good over there?” Honey asked as they pulled onto her street.
Swallowing down her nervousness, Astryd gave her friend a smile. “Yes. Just tired is all. I’m glad the girls are gone for the weekend. I can possibly try to sleep in,” she giggled.
“I know that’s right. I can’t wait until Jamir, and I have one of our own.”
“You guys planning?” Astryd asked.
Her first, Ashlee, was not planned at all. She blindsided the young couple but was a blessing nonetheless.
“It’d be nice too, but we’ll see. I’m in a really good space mentally and financially, we both are, but Jamir wants to be married first.”
Astryd grinned widely. “Oh shoot. Look at him.” They shared a chuckle as she pulled into the driveway next to her parked car.
“Right, girl. That’s my baby. So, if he wants to wait until marriage, I am perfectly fine with that.”
The smile on Honey’s face made Astryd’s cheeks rise. She was elated for her girl. Jamir was such a gentleman whenever she was in his presence. He’d be the perfect husband; something Astryd thought Alonzo would be, but she wasn’t so sure anymore. Before she let her negative thoughts ruin their moment, she cleared her throat and shook her head.
“I’m happy for you. Let me get in here and spend some time with my man. Maybe I’ll get a ring too, hell.”
As they embraced in a hug, Honey grabbed her wrist when they broke away. Astryd gave her a questioning gaze.
“Any man would be lucky as hell to give you his last name,” Honey told her, with a soft, reassuring smile.
“Thank you boo. I’ll call you later and thank you for swooping me up.”
“Of course. I’ll text you when I make it home.”
Climbing from the car, Astryd took slow, measured breaths to calm her racing heartbeat down. With each step she made to the door, her stomach flip-flopped. Using her key, she walked inside, and to her surprise, it was silent. The lamp by the couch was on, but there was no sign of Alonzo. Heading upstairs to their room, Astryd’s confirmation of him being in bed was right. Sprawled out in their bed with his chest lightly rising and falling, Astryd stared at the man she used to love with resentment in her heart.
I hate him, she said in her head. It was the truth. She was always told that hate was such a mean word, but that’s the only one she could muster up to describe her feelings toward him. Her eyes darting to her pillow beside him and the thought to smother his ass in his sleep crossed her mind. As quickly as it’d come, it left. The only reason she didn’t inch her way toward him was because of her girls. Killing him would break their hearts. Sighing in frustration because she couldn’t escape him, Astryd turned on her heels and headed to the bathroom.
Turning on the shower, she began stripping from her clothing. As the mirror began to fog, Astryd hummed a light melody her mother used to sing to her as a little girl. She couldn’t quite remember all the words, but the few she did know soothed her. With her eyes closed, her mind drifted to a time in her life where things were much simpler. Life wasn’t so complicated in figuring out and had it been, her mother assisted her in doing so.
“I miss you so much,” she said in a throaty tone as a tear slid down her cheek.
“Why you miss me? I’m right here?”
The sound of Alonzo so close to her made Astryd flinch hard as hell, and her eyes popped open wide. She didn’t know when he had walked in or how long he had been standing there, but the look on his face was not a pleased one. Swallowing hard, Astryd stared back at him in the almost completely fogged mirror. Inching closer to her, Alonzo grabbed the back of her neck, and she tensed up. When he began to caress it, she relaxed some.
“Who you miss?” he asked lowly, pressing his pelvis into her ass.
“M-My Mom.”
His grip tightened. “You lying to me?”
“No. I swear.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were talking about that man you went out to dinner with.”
Astryd’s face frowned up. “I wasn’t...I didn’t go out to eat with another man. I went with Honey, Lee, and Greigh.”
“Yeah? So, where the leftovers at? You ain’t bring me no food home?”
“Y-You told me you didn’t want anything,” Astryd let out as chill bumps coated every inch of her body.
The mirror had now been completed covered, and she couldn’t see him, which was probably a good thing. His jaw clenched before his hand came up to her head and yanked a handful of her hair. Astryd’s head snapped back so roughly, he could have broken her neck.
“Did I say that or the nigga you was with tell you not to bring me anything home?” he asked calmly.
Astryd’s mind ran wild trying to muster up the correct answer. Evidently, she hadn’t thought quickly enough. Squeezing her jaw tightly, Alonzo forced her to open up her mouth and roughly shoved his fingers down her throat. Immediately, Astryd gagged at the forceful move.
“If I have to go to bed hungry, so do you. You better throw all that shit up, and I mean it,” he hissed evilly, before yanking her to the toilet.
“L-Lonzo, please,” she cried, but it fell upon deaf ears.
Holding her head back, he forced his fingers down her throat once more, and the food Astryd devoured earlier, came rushing out of her mouth and into the toilet bowl. Tears clouded her vision as the pull on her hair intensified.
“Bitch, you think I’m stupid?” Alonzo growled, slapping her upside the head. “You think you gon’ leave me for another nigga?”
Before she could answer, his fingers were ramming the back of her throat and more vomit emitted from her. Tears rolled down her cheeks the more she threw up. Alonzo had beat her plenty times before, but this was a new low. One Astryd couldn’t believe he had gone to. After shoving his fingers down her throat until she was dry heaving and dehydrated, Alonzo stood at the sink and washed his hands.
“You better have your ass showered and, in this bed before I finish smoking this blunt,” he told her.
Astryd couldn’t even nod her head. She was so weak, and throat was so sore, she was sure he had torn her esophagus. It pained her to swallow. She wished he’d just walk away so she could let her tears fall in peace – or what she considered it to be. The swift kick to her side made Astryd groan lowly.
“You heard what the fuck I said. Have your ass in this fucking bed,” he spat.
“O-Okay,’ she replied barely audible.
When she heard him walk away, she listened for that sound in the floor to let her know he was enough distance away before releasing her breath. Having the door closed and letting her pain out without him hearing wasn’t going to happen. On trembling legs, Astryd struggled to inhale a deep breath. Once she was to her feet, she didn’t bother going to the mirror, she just climbed in the shower. The scolding hot water stung against her body, but she’d take that pour down of a beating any day over the ones Alonzo handed out.
Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, Astryd didn’t cry. She just thanked God her girls weren’t present to accidentally walk in or hear their altercation. She’d never forgive herself if they had.
Chapter Three
Rushing around her mess of a room, Astryd hopped on one leg while putting her shoe on. Honey was a few minutes away from her house, and she still hadn't done a thing to her hair. When her phone rang, she began to panic. Time was apparently not on her side. Snatching it up from the bed, she answered quickly.
"I'm almost ready," she said, walking into the bathroom.
"Good, because I'm pulling into the driveway," Honey replied.
"Geez! What'd you do? Fly your ass here?"
Honey laughed. "You know my aunt doesn't live that far away. Just hurry your narrow behind up before he gets there."
"Okay, okay. Give me two minutes, tops."
Honey mumbled an ‘mhm' and hung up. Tossing her phone on the counter, Astryd hurriedly brushed through her hair before running the flat iron through it a few times. As thick and
long as it was, she was glad it decided to play nice today. After adding a little mascara, a light coat of nude gloss, thin gold necklace and a squirt of her favorite perfume, she released a huff.
"Shit, I forgot how much energy it takes to get fine," she let out.
She didn't have time to give herself a once over. Rushing back inside the room, she grabbed her purse and headed outside. After locking the door, she walked over to Honey's passenger side and climbed in.
"Sorry. Was that long?" she asked, trying to catch her breath.
When Honey didn't reply, Astryd faced her. "What? What's wrong?"
"Giiirl. Two kids where?!" Honey yelped, in sheer excitement.
Bashfully, Astryd waved her off. "Stop."
"I'm serious A! You look good, girl. Damn. I wish I were those jeans," she joked, making Astryd crack a smile.
"I've gained some weight, so they're a little tight. Dang. Should I change? I mean, I look okay, right?" she asked, nervously while pulling the visor down to check herself out.
"You look fine as hell. Whatever you been eating, let me know, okay? My ass can't gain two pounds, and if I do, I swear the shit goes to my forehead."
The friends cracked up laughing as she pulled off down the street.
"Your job let you off work? I can't believe it," Astryd said getting comfortable for the fifteen-minute car ride to Honey's Aunt Deb’s house.
"Yes. I let my supervisor know months in advance that I’d need this day off. Had she not given it, my ass was calling in," she said seriously.
"I know he's happy to be home."
"He is. He tried playing it off when I last talked to him, but I could hear the excitement in his voice. I hate the damn justice system, I swear," she fussed as Astryd sat in deep thought.
She felt the same way, but for a different reason.
"Same, girl."
"Your car was in the driveway. Is something wrong with it?"
Astryd shook her head and told her the lie she had rehearsed before she arrived. Well, the lie she was told.
"No. Alonzo went out of town and accidentally took my keys with him," she replied with a roll of her eyes.
"How'd he do that? He does know you have the girls, right?"
She nodded. "I don't know, girl. And he knows. They're with my cousin until tonight, so it's fine."
The truth was, Alonzo took her keys, so she couldn't go anywhere. That wasn't stopping Astryd though. She wouldn't miss this welcome home party.
"That's what's up. Is Winston going to be here? I haven't seen him in so long."
"No. He couldn't make it down. The season is underway, but he promised to be here for Ashlee's birthday at the end of October."
Winston is Astryd's older brother by two years, at age twenty-eight. He was away being an assistant football coach for the defensive line at Missouri State University. With this being his first year apart of the program, missing a game, especially a home game, wasn't a good look. He sent his brotherly love through Astryd, and when he could welcome home his boy the correct way he would.
"She does have a birthday coming up. You made plans yet?" Honey asked as they pulled onto her aunt’s packed street. She just knew someone had stolen her parking spot.
"Not yet. You know Ashlee's a diva, so we'll see what she decides on this year," Astryd chuckled.
Letting her eyes do a sweep of the block aligned with vehicles, her heart swelled at the love D'Haven was being shown. He had been locked down for far too many years in the family's eyes, but they were glad he was finally home. Once Honey found a parking spot in the neighbor's driveway, they climbed out and headed toward her aunt's house. Loud music and laughter filled the air as they walked through the front door.
"Why your ass ain't go through the back like everybody else!" Deb, D'Haven's mama, hollered at her niece.
"I'm not everybody else, duh," Honey laughed. "Plus, I have someone with me I thought you'd like to see."
Stepping through the kitchen walkway, Astryd gave Deb a soft smile. "Hey, Ms. Deb."
"Girl! Don't hey me. Your ass better give me a hug. I ain't saw you in how long?" she fussed, walking over to Astryd, pulling her into a hug.
The embrace of the short, fluffy, full of life woman made Astryd smile. She couldn't remember the last time she saw Deb, but it had definitely been a while. When they released one another, Deb gave her a big grin.
"Still pretty as I remember. How them babies of yours doing?"
"They're fine. Getting big," Astryd replied just as someone from the family rushed in from the back door.
"He's pulling up!" the young boy yelled out.
Quickly, Deb dried her hands and clapped. "Let's head outside to greet my baby."
"He's a grown man auntie," Honey joked, and Deb swatted her arm.
"Shut yo ass up. That's my baby for as long as I live."
The backyard was packed to capacity. Astryd had a large family, but hers didn't have shit on the size of Honey's. This wasn't even all of them; just the ones Deb saw fit to be in attendance when D'Haven touched down. To those who didn't as much as ask about him, they were not welcome on her property. She didn't give a fuck about them being blood or not.
Licking her lips, Astryd told herself to relax. She kept fidgeting with the bracelet on her wrist, tucking her hair behind her ear, and chewing on the corner of her lip. She was a nervous wreck and didn't know why. Well, she knew why, but would never admit it out loud. Seeing her first real crush, who she was forced to get over, for the first time in years had her losing her cool. Seeing everyone with their phones out as D'Haven made his way toward the backyard, Astryd was desperately searching for the breath she needed to inhale at the sight of him.
Goddamn. She thought she said in her head, but when someone next to her chuckled, her eyes bucked.
"Yeah, my brother is still fine, ain't he?" Demi, D'Haven's twenty-one-year-old sister said, grinning.
Not bothering to give her a response, she just cleared her throat and focused on the sight before her. And, damn was he a sight to see. He looked better than Astryd could remember, but then again, it had been years since then. If her lips weren't pressed tightly together, she was sure she'd have drool seeping from the corner of her mouth, decorating her shirt.
"Welcome home!" the group of friends and family cheered once he was closer to them.
When D'Haven hit them with a smile, Astryd about fell out. It was gorgeous. He had the type of smile that made you smile on the inside and out. It was breathtaking and had snatched the little air Astryd had managed to inhale right away. She licked her lips and adjusted her stance as she took all of him in, and damn was there a lot.
D'Haven's milk chocolate body looked as if all he did while away was pump iron, and for the most part, he had. The bulge in his arms and tight fit of the plain white V-neck he was wearing should've been a sin the way it clung to his body. Honey wasn't lying when she said he had gotten buff. His athletic physique was mouthwatering; goddamn drool worthy. His height made Astryd want to see how long it took to climb him. The closer he got, Astryd realized how much better looking he was up close.
The haircut he got before popping up to his mom’s crib was worth it. Astryd wanted to thank his barber twice for such a job well done. His thick, black hair was cut low showing off his small curls and perfect line-up. Astryd was thankful he had a goatee and thin mustache rather than a beard because his chiseled jawline made her lower parts pulsate every time his juicy lips moved. The structure of his face, in general, was so masculine. So sexy. So… everything Astryd didn't know she was missing out on until now. D'Haven Graham was all man, that was for sure. If his physical features didn't let that be known, the depth of his voice did.
"Ladies, y'all missed me?" He asked jokingly, with a handsome grin.
The question rolled off his tongue so smoothly, Astryd didn't realize he was even in her presence because she was so far gone. Blinking her eyes and clearing her throat, she wrung her hands together to keep from reaching out and
touching him. As he hugged Honey, his eyes were on Astryd. They were piercing through her soul and giving her shivers.
"I'm so happy you're home!" Honey beamed smiling widely.
"Yes! Me too. I missed your big head so much," Demi chimed in.
"I missed y'all too, but y'all already know that. Astryd, how you doing?" he asked coolly, waiting for her to embrace him in a hug but she couldn't.
Hell, she couldn't move let alone speak to the man. When Honey bumped her arm, she jumped a little and stuck her hand out.
"H-Hey. Welcome home. You look good," she said before she could catch herself. Her stomach dropped when he hit her with that panty-wetting smile.
"You look good too," he replied, letting his eyes do a slow, torturous sweep over her frame.
Under his torturous gaze, Astryd's body trembled. The high-waisted jeans she had on outlined her childbearing hips, and small but plump ass. She didn't have much up top to look at in the white one-piece she was rocking, but that was fine with D'Haven. Her nipples were harder than the stare down he was giving her. After being locked up for five years, he drank her beauty in with the utmost appreciation.
"Girl. What you trying to give him a handshake for? You better hug my cousin," Honey said, nudging her D'Haven's way. She practically fell into his embrace, but he caught her.
Quickly, she wrapped her arms around his bulky frame and stepped back. The smell and feel of him had her hyperventilating. He was perfection in Astryd's eyes and as lonely as she had been feeling, that wasn't a good thing. D'Haven wanted to hold on to her a little longer, but he knew she wasn't going to let him. Not now at least.
"Come on, brother. Let's go mingle," Demi said, ending their silent staring contest.
He gave Astryd and Honey another grin before allowing his sister to pull him in the direction of her friends. Some friends who were eye-fucking D'Haven like crazy. When Honey looked around, it seemed the women who weren't family all were. Astryd was stuck again. His intoxicating cologne was lingering in the air, and she wanted to bottle the shit up for her own personal use.