by Briann Danae
"It's just your sister," she breathed out.
"I told her about popping up over my shit. You can open the door if you want to, baby. If not, tell her I'm down the street."
Astryd shook her head and began to turn the locks on the door. This was his home, not hers, and she'd never make his company wait on the porch.
"It's okay. I'll let her in," she replied, pulling the door open.
Stunned to see a woman, let alone Astryd, opening her brother's door, Demi stood with a shocked expression on her face. "Oh, wow. Hey. I didn't know you were here. Is my brother here?"
"He's um, on his way. You wanna come in?" Astryd asked as the passenger door to Demi's Impala opened.
"No, I was just coming to drop this money off."
Astryd smiled softly and took the money from her outstretched hand. When she looked up, her smile dropped from her face. She could have pissed her pants had she not gone to the restroom minutes before D'Haven called her. Her eyes bulged, and chest tightened as fear ripped through her chest. She was panicking at the sight of Alonzo leaning against Demi's passenger door. The wicked grin on his face scared Astryd shitless.
"A, what's good baby? You ready to come home to Daddy?"
The sound of his voice confirmed that she wasn't dreaming. He was there in the flesh and Astryd couldn't move. She couldn't believe he had found her and was here with… Demi. Realizing that, Astryd snapped out of her trance just as D'Haven's truck speedily pulled up on the street.
"W-Why did you bring him here?" Astryd asked as her voice cracked.
"Demi!" D'Haven yelled out. Rushing up his driveway, he didn't even glance Alonzo's way. His only concern was Astryd. Seeing the look on her face, he glanced back at Alonzo, and his jaw clenched.
"Pebbles, go inside," he told her sternly.
"Bring your ass here Astryd!" Alonzo belted out.
"Why you got this nigga at my crib?" D'Haven spat his sister's way.
"I-I, we talk," she stuttered causing Astryd's eyes to stretch wide.
"What?"
And, then it hit her. The flowery smell of perfume she had smelled for months on Alonzo's clothing was Demi's. He was cheating on her with this young ass girl, and Astryd couldn't believe it. Demi had not a clue of what monster she was "talking" to, but she was going to find out.
"Y'all talk?" D'Haven scoffed. "He's a grown ass man!" He growled before walking up on Alonzo. "Aye! You need to get the fuck up off my property, homeboy."
Alonzo pushed himself up from the door. "Yeah? I ain't leaving unless my bitch comes with me."
Hearing him call Astryd out of her name, D'Haven didn't even think once before his fist flew into Alonzo's jaw. Having more strength and fueled by anger, Alonzo's weak punches, light ones compared to the ones he delivered to Astryd's body, were no match for D'Haven's.
"D'Haven, please!" Astryd yelled out frantically.
"Bitch ass nigga," D'Haven hissed sending a vicious blow across his head with the butt of a gun.
Astryd didn't know where the gun had come from, nor when he had pulled it out, but she knew he was on probation. Having a weapon on him was the quickest way to send him back to jail. But, something inside him told him it'd be needed. As unlawful as he knew it was, especially in his condition, D'Haven kept one tucked in a compartment in his truck. He had moved recklessly before getting locked up and though he had changed since, the streets hadn't. They were only grimier than before, and niggas were ready and willing to take lives for no reason. In his case, he wanted to dead Alonzo right now; fuck the consequences.
"D'Haven, they're going to call the cops!" Astryd cried out from the porch.
That snapped him out of his daze. Huffing, he stood upright and brushed his nose before tucking his gun in the waist of his jeans. When Alonzo glanced his way and grinned, D'Haven sent a kick to his face that cracked his jaw on contact.
"Oh my gosh," Demi cried. "Stop it!"
He could have broken his neck by how quickly he glanced back at his sister. "You ain't talking to this nigga anymore, so you might as well go in the house. Astryd, go inside, baby."
"Yes, I am! You can't tell me what to do because you're fucking his baby mama. They're not even together!" Demi screamed, foolishly.
"So, you know who he is and still gon' mess with him?" D'Haven asked in disbelief as Demi struggled to help Alonzo to his feet.
"I love him! How could you do this to him for no reason!"
No matter how many times D'Haven told Astryd to go inside, she couldn't. Every emotion known to man filled her body as she watched the man she used to love with every fiber of her being be assisted by his mistress. A girl who had been around Astryd plenty to know that Alonzo was her man. No, Astryd didn't come around much since D'Haven went to jail, but she was around enough.
The look Alonzo gave Astryd as he stood straight up holding his mouth would forever be embedded in her mind. When his eyes left hers and focused on D'Haven, he gave him a head nod.
"H-How could they do this to me?" Astryd questioned painfully. "How could you do this to me!"
Her scream echoed loudly as Demi helped Alonzo in her passenger seat. D'Haven looked her way and frowned, and it deepened with her next set of words. They damn near ripped his heart in half.
"I loved you! I gave you all of me, and this is how you repay me!"
Astryd seemed to want answers to questions he was never going to reply to.
"The fuck you doing all this for?" D'Haven asked her.
"Your sister has been messing with him all this time!" she screamed, ignoring his question.
He sucked his teeth. "Go in the house so we can talk."
"Yeah! Go in the house so y'all can talk. I'm sure you'd love to know that he has a baby on the way, too. Yep. Baylei called me today. Is that what that money is for, an abortion?" Demi spat, before she hopped in the driver's seat and backed out of the driveway so hastily, she almost rammed into D'Haven's truck.
The air became eerily thick with silence as Astryd stared D'Haven down. She was searching for his face for any signs of a lie. Demi had to be lying and just saying that out of anger. She just knew she was. When D'Haven's head dropped, her stomach sank, and heart fell to her feet. Her throat clogged with an unexplainable pain as she tried to get out of his eyesight. The mere sight of him was almost worse than seeing Alonzo.
"A-A baby?" she choked out, blinking with bafflement in her eyes.
D'Haven ran a hand through his short, curly mane. Guilt consumed him immediately. "I don't know if it's mine for sure."
"T-That's where you went that night," she whispered in agony.
When he didn't answer right away, her tears streamed down her face. The first week at his home, Astryd had a breakdown. She was on the phone crying to Honey over Alonzo's actions. Though he should've been the last person to shed tears over, Astryd was just having one of those days. It hadn't happened since, but D'Haven heard it. He didn't know whether to take it as her missing him or what, but before she could give an explanation, D'Haven was out the door. He headed to Baylei's crib and didn't walk back through his door until six that morning.
Astryd was asleep in his bed, and when he climbed in behind her after showering, he kissed her damp cheek and softly apologized in her ear. Astryd had long ago learned not to question Alonzo's actions, so the following morning, D'Haven's whereabouts the night before was never brought up. Now, she wished she would've said something.
Back peddling into the house, she shook her head as tears ran down her face. She couldn't believe him. After everything she told him Alonzo put her through, he was turning out to be the exact same. No, Alonzo didn't have a baby on her, that she knew of, but damn. The agony felt the same as when Alonzo caused it. Rushing after her, D'Haven tried pleading his case.
"Pebbles, please. Just hear me out."
"No, D'Haven. You know what?" she cried, staring him in the eyes. "I can't be mad at anyone but myself. I should've known better."
"Known better about what? I promise i
t was a one-time thing. You were crying over that nigga and I just… that shit ran me hot."
"I wasn't crying over him! I was crying for my daughters! They ask about him, and I have to make up lies because the man they call Daddy is a fucking abuser. And, here comes another man they loved turning out to be the same way!"
D'Haven's jaw clenched. "I'm nothing like him."
"No? Well, you explain to them why my heart is broken and why we're leaving then," she yelled.
"You don't have to leave. Can we just talk about this? Come on," he said reaching for her hand. "Please, Pebbles."
"No, D'Haven. Don't come near me," she cried, shaking her head in disbelief.
"I'm not about to hurt you. Let's just sit and talk this out like adults. I don't have a baby on the way, and you can't leave me," he said.
"You don't know that! And, why can't I leave you? I don't have to stay here!"
"Because I love you."
Astryd began to sob as her head shook uncontrollably from side to side. She couldn't handle all of this right now. His admission to loving her should have been music to her ears, but instead, it was a stab to her heart. The knife penetrated her flesh and twisted causing a pain so discomforting, Astryd could hardly breathe. Rushing to her, D'Haven wrapped his arms around her as she broke down. She didn't want to cry into his strong arms and muscular chest, but she was tired. So tired of the men in her life breaking her and then moving along with their lives as if everything was okay. No one was ever there to pick up the pieces; only there to shatter them.
"You don't love me," she cried as he carried her into their room.
Climbing atop the bed with her cradled in his arms, D'Haven held her down as her body quaked. She was trembling with hurt, and he was the cause of it. Wanting to soothe it all, he placed kisses against her wet cheeks, down her neck, and didn't stop until her shirt was lifted over her breast. Lifting up, he slid her shorts down and shushed her cries.
"Sssh, baby. Don't cry. Please forgive me. I love you, Pebbles," he said kissing her lips, before diving head first between her thighs.
Relentlessly, D'Haven ate her out making her body orgasm so quickly, Astryd could hardly catch her breath. Spreading her legs, D'Haven worked quickly to unbuckle his jeans, place the gun on his nightstand, and slide into her oasis. Astryd's eyes opened the minute his massive dick entered her. His girth stretched her center as they stared at one another. The damage he caused was written in her glossy light brown eyes.
Pushing her legs back so they were chest to chest, D'Haven stroked her walls and kissed her lips tenderly. Astryd knew this was wrong. Sex wasn't going to fix the pain, but it hurt so good.
"I love you, Pebbles," he groaned lowly on her ear. "I'm so sorry for hurting you, baby."
Slow, deliberate strokes elicited pleasurable moans from each of them. Easing in and out of her tight, warm, wet walls, D'Haven whispered sweet nothings in her ear. They were going in one ear and right out the other, though. The dick was good, fucking superb, but Astryd couldn't get her heart and body to be on the same page. D'Haven was trying to make love and each time the tip of his dick touched the back of her walls, they coated his pole making it glisten more with each thrust.
"I-I c-can't believe you," she cried, scratching at his clothed back. "You said you'd never hurt me."
"I know, baby. I swear I'm so fucking sorry,” he groaned, kissing her tear-stained cheeks.
The harder she cried, the deeper and harder D'Haven stroked. She wanted him to take all her pain away, though he was the cause of it. She tried to pull him in deeper and push him away all at once. He was smothering her with love… a love she didn't want anymore. It hurt. Just when she thought things were looking up, here came life knocking on her door reminding her that it wasn't done beating her down.
Against her will, her muscles tightened around his dick, and a moan escaped her lips. The sounds of their lovemaking echoed throughout the room as he ran his hand through her hair. D'Haven's back stiffened feeling his nut creep up on him. To keep from letting another moan slip from her lips, Astryd bit down on his bottom lip. She was beyond mad at him, but the dick he was delivering had her cumming back to back like crazy.
"Uuhh," D'Haven groaned releasing all the love he wanted Astryd to feel inside her slick walls.
Spent, but not wanting to let her leave him, D'Haven lay atop Astryd and trailed kisses across her neck and held her in his arms. Eyes wide open, Astryd stared at the ceiling as tears stained the sheets underneath her. The moment they shared was over. She knew it would be temporary, but it started to feel like forever, and that's where she knew she messed up. When something began to feel too good, it was either not going to last and end in tragedy or surprise the hell out of her. Their circumstances had done both.
"Astryd," D'Haven called out, sitting up. "I know you're hurt right now, and I can admit that I fucked this thing between us up. My feelings been involved and seeing you hurt over him put me in a place from my past. Like, you were choosing him again, and that was a bad call on my end. I know it may take a while for you to forgive me, but I'm asking that you at least try. I love you too much to let you walk out of my life again."
Astryd blinked twice, still staring at the ceiling.
"Sometimes, the people we love aren't really who they claim to be," she said flatly, crushing D'Haven's feelings the same way he had done hers. "They're worse."
Squeezing his eyes shut, he shook his head before lifting off her body. If she wanted to leave, D'Haven wasn't going to stop her. She had been held captive in an abusive relationship for so long, he didn't want to inflict more pain on her than she already had to endure.
Finding the strength to leave, again, Astryd pulled herself up from the bed and stood to her feet. She was hurt by his actions but knew if she stayed more hurt than healing would occur. Swallowing the lump in his throat, D'Haven sat at the edge of his bed and watched her pack up a few of her belongings. The girls had been with Lola for a few days, so she didn't bother grabbing any of their things.
"Where you plan on going Pebbles?" he asked sincerely, as she struggled to carry her bag to the garage. "Here, give me that."
"No. I got it. And, I'm not sure I want to tell you right now. Your sister is fucking the man who… you know what?" she chuckled and shook her head. "Never mind."
"Nah. Say what you were going to say. You think I knew about them messing around?" He frowned.
"Honestly, D'Haven, it doesn't matter at this point. Alonzo now knows where I've been staying, and I don't trust your sister. I'll figure it out; I always do."
He grabbed her hand gently. "But you don't have to figure it out alone. You know I got you, man. Just put the bags down and let's talk it out."
"No. I'm done talking. I'm no longer relying on words from a man. Yes, your actions at a point in time were enough, but not anymore. I have to work on me. I must learn to love me wholly before depending on you or any other man too. Isn't that what you told me on day one?"
Using his words against him, D'Haven couldn't help but realize that over the weeks she had somewhat become dependent on him. The fact that she called herself out on it was growth in his eyes, no matter how small. Deep down he was applauding her but still didn't want her to leave, but Astryd's mind was made up.
"Can you at least let me know if you and the girls are safe?" he asked, pleading damn near.
"Sure."
Following her into the garage like a sad puppy, D'Haven watched as she tossed the bags in the trunk of her car, climbed in the driver's seat and slammed the door. As the garage door lifted, she stared at him. Her eyes were pleading for a suitable explanation that would change her mind. Something that would tell her she hadn't made a fool of herself again. In what seemed like no time, D'Haven had put a move on her heart that she knew would take a while to shake. Even the girls loved him, and that saddened her the most because they had grown close with him. Astryd couldn't let the what if's hold her back though. Yet again, her life was in danger. Befor
e, she was sure D'Haven could protect her and her heart, but she wasn't so sure now.
As soon as Astryd pulled out of the driveway and the garage door lowered, the waterworks began all over again. Not out of sadness this time, but out of anger. She was angry at her heart for making such a vast decision in loving him again. Slamming his fist into the door, D'Haven jogged back into the living room to retrieve his phone. Baylei's number was the first one he went to dial, and of course, she ignored it. One night of pleasure that wasn't shit compared to the lovemaking he and Astryd shared had ruined their do-over before it could manifest.
Soft sniffles filled Astryd's car as she made her way to Lola's house. Deciding to let her know she was on her way, she gave her a call. Her grandmother saw things getting serious between her and D'Haven and wanted to give her a break for a few days. Thankfully, she had because they didn't need to be present when all that drama unfolded.
"Mommy!" Ashlee squealed answering Lola's phone.
Her saddened expression brightened at the sound of her baby's voice. "Hi, Pumpkin. What're you doing?"
"Playing a game on Grammy's phone. What are you doing?" she asked sweetly.
"You put games on her phone?"
Astryd had to ask because she knew her grandmother sure hadn't done so.
"Yes, hey!" she pouted as Lola grabbed the phone from her hand.
"Child, I done told you about answering my phone. Hello?"
Astryd chuckled. "Hey, Grammy."
"What he done did? I can hear the sadness all in your voice."
Sighing, she shook her head. It was too much to explain over the phone. "It's not what he did, but me. I'm on my way there… for good."
Lola didn't wait until they were off the line before she sent a prayer up for her grandchild. "Okay. Drive safely. We'll see you when you get here."
Wiping the last tear, she vowed to let seep from her eyes, Astryd exhaled a deep breath. In the midst of adversity, she couldn't be weak. She could be, but that would get her nowhere. For weeks, she found herself slowly bouncing back to that happy place she had ventured from. It was a place of serenity that was so comforting, this space she was in now was disturbing. A soft chuckle escaped her lips realizing how far she had come.