by Nicole Dykes
Piper may think she hates me now, but we’re only just getting started.
“Mommy, can we get ice cream tonight? Pleeease?” Audrey looks at me with her big chocolate-colored eyes and toothy grin.
“Not tonight. You’re already in your pjs, and it’s almost bedtime.”
She sulks, folding her little arms and puffing her bottom lip out, but then I see she’s formed an idea. “Tomorrow?” I smile as she wraps her arms around my waist. “I’ve been good.”
“I know you have.” I also know that by the time I get home from work, I’m usually completely wiped out, but it’ll be a Friday.
“Maybe.”
“Yay!” She squeezes me tight and then does a little happy dance. “I’m going to go play now.”
“Okay, sweetie.” She heads down the hallway to her room, and I flop down on the couch in the living room, wearing the tank top and shorts I always wear to bed.
Yes, I’m twenty-four and in pajamas at eight o’clock at night. Don’t judge me.
The sudden knock on the door startles me, and I grumble as I walk to the door. It can’t be who I think it is. But no one else knows where I live.
I look through the peephole and grumble again under my breath when I see Sawyer’s smug face. “Piper. Answer the door.”
I take in a deep breath. It’s only been a couple of days since he found out about Audrey, and since then, I’ve been holding my breath waiting for this moment.
Why can’t he just let it go?
I glance toward the hallway, but I’m relieved when I don’t see Audrey. She either didn’t hear the door or didn’t care. I yank it open and glare at Sawyer, hating how good he looks in the expensive black suit that hugs him snugly. His hair is perfectly styled and his shoes more than likely cost more than two or three months rent at this place.
“What are you doing here?”
He’s wearing black sunglasses that he whips off his face, sporting an arrogant glare of his own. “What am I doing here? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“It’s been days. I thought maybe you forgot.”
He knows I didn’t think that. I can tell by the look on his face, but he remains calm. “I had to do a little research.”
I eye him with suspicion, his words sending a chill through me. “What kind of research?”
He looks over my shoulder into the apartment and then around the outside of the building with a look of disgust. “How the fuck did you end up here? You have a drug problem or something?”
I’m going to kill him, like actual homicide. I wonder if I can claim insanity. “You arrogant, spoiled son of a bitch . . .”
He holds up a hand to stop my tirade. “You’re a Ward. You’re in an apartment building where the average income is fifty thousand a year. In California. What the fuck is happening?”
“Will you watch your mouth?” I push him back as I walk out of my apartment and close the door behind me. “It’s not that bad.”
It’s small. I know that, but I hate the shame I feel as he stands here, judging me. “It is. And my kid is not living here any longer.”
Against my will, my heart rate speeds up at his words. Is he threatening me? “What do you mean?”
He straightens his tie and stands even taller. “I’m going to give you two options. I have no idea why you’re living in a shithole—”
“It’s not a shithole,” I interject, but he ignores me.
“I can only imagine you were cut off by your parents.” I don’t give him an answer, staying very silent, and he goes on, “Which I’m sure is partially my fault.”
I snort in irritation, “You’re such an asshole.”
How the hell could I ever think I was in love with him? I was such an idiot. “Yeah well, that’s nothing I haven’t heard before. Still . . . I can’t sleep, knowing my kid is living here.”
I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my stomach. “You’re such a snob.”
“For wanting better for my kid?”
“A kid you just found out about.”
“Because you didn’t fucking tell me about her!” he shouts. I’m not used to Sawyer losing his cool. Not ever. He was always the one in a fight who would provoke someone to hit him with his arrogance and goading. He never got angry.
“And whose fault was that?”
He takes a deep breath, seemingly keeping himself under control yet again. “I didn’t come here to fight.”
“Then what the hell do you want?”
“I told you, Piper, you have two choices.” I despise the sickening feeling of fear in my belly. “You can let me find a house for you and our daughter,” he continues, ignoring my fury, “or you two can move in with me until you can find somewhere more appropriate.”
“You. Asshole.”
“Language, Piper.”
Yeah, I might actually go to prison. But I try to think about Audrey. I can’t leave her.
“I’m not moving in with you.”
“Okay, then I’ll find you a house . . .”
“I’m not taking any of your money. I don’t want that life for her.”
“What life? The best possible start she could get?”
I roll my eyes and clutch my stomach. “I don’t want her growing up like we did.”
“So, you’re going to deny her the better things in life as, what, some kind of fuck you to your parents?”
I shake my head. “I haven’t denied her anything.”
“Bullshit, Piper. I get that you don’t want her to be a spoiled brat, but living in a tiny apartment and going to public school . . .”
“You’re the worst kind of elitist. I can’t believe you.” I shake my head in disgust at the man standing before me. “You were the one who always fought against our upbringing.”
“And I’m not saying we should schedule her to the max and make sure she has no joy, but she’ll have everything I can offer her. And it’s a lot.”
I feel sick, but I’m hoping my face doesn’t show it. “Your parent’s money. Are you really that proud of that?”
“I have a job.” I cock my head to the side, challenging him because no matter how much he’s making with Linc, we both know the purchase of a house for Audrey and me would come out of his hefty trust fund.
“I don’t want your money.”
“Fine. Then move in with me because my kid is not living here another week.”
“She’s not yours,” I say through gritted teeth with tears welling up in my eyes. I hate him with everything I have in me.
“She. Is. And you will do this.”
I laugh facetiously, “No. I won’t.”
He takes a step closer to me, his large body crowding mine. “She’s mine too. I didn’t know about her or I would have been there for her.”
“Bullshit, Sawyer,” I spit out, my anger unleashed. “You really think that eighteen-year-old you would have stepped up? Do you think you’d have pulled your dick out of my sister long enough to do that? And all the other women?”
His dark eyes somehow turn darker as they search mine. “Is that why you didn’t tell me? To punish me for fucking your sister? For some goddamn high school drama?”
His words gut me. I’m sure to him that’s all it was. Puppy love drama. I was just a fuck to him. He has no idea why I’m so angry. “Fuck. You.”
“Listen to me . . .” His eyes hold mine, both of us glaring at each other with absolutely no trace of tenderness, not even a minuscule amount. No . . . all that’s left is hate. “You’ll either move in with me or you’ll let me buy a house that’s good enough for my daughter.”
“You arrogant prick! What makes you think I’d ever agree to either of those things?”
He’s deadly serious as he tips my chin up with his finger. His touch makes me cringe and shamefully shocks me with an electric charge at the same time. “She’s half mine. There’s no denying that, but if you fight me on this, I’ll call my lawyer back and demand a DNA test. After that, I’ll move for custody, and both
of us know money talks.”
“You son of a bitch.” I jerk my chin out of his grasp.
“I won’t do that if you’ll let me do this one thing. Give my kid what she deserves.”
“A fancy house won’t make her love you.”
“It’s a start,” he says with so much confidence I ball my hands at my sides. What if she does fall for his charm?
God knows I did, along with so many other people over the years.
“No.”
He steps back and takes a deep breath. “Then my lawyer will be in contact with you. I suppose I’ll see you in court.”
“You’d do that to her?”
I don’t want her to find out about her father in a cold courtroom. I don’t want her to know about him at all.
His eyes meet mine, and I swear I see a hint of pain in them, but it quickly disappears, leaving cold arrogance in its place. “If you force my hand, yes. Make no mistake, Piper. I’m going to be in her life, regardless.” He turns and starts walking before he turns and regards me again. “I’ll give you a few days to decide.”
He leaves, climbing into his fancy, shiny black car, sliding his sunglasses on before he drives away.
This is so not good. And I know I have no way out of this.
“You did what?” I turn to look at Vivienne’s shocked expression just before her husband puts in his two cents.
“I told you not to do anything stupid.”
“How exactly is that stupid?” I stare at Asher.
“You threatened her. You gave her an ultimatum. On behalf of mothers and women in general everywhere, I want to punch you in the face,” Viv says so calmly I’d have thought she was kidding, but I don’t think she is.
I study her for a moment. I thought they’d be on my side. “She lied to me about having my kid. You’re a mom, Viv. How the hell can you condone that?”
“Because I’m a mom.” She stares at me like I’m a monster, and I don’t fucking like it. Baz hollers for her inside, and she turns to Asher. “Handle him.”
She leaves me alone with Asher, who’s grinning as he shakes his head at me. “You’re one dumb motherfucker. I mean, I thought I was. But damn, Sawyer.”
“What?” I’m getting pissed. I thought I was being generous. Offering to get Piper out of that place and not merely get my daughter out of there.
“You cannot threaten the mother of your child.”
“The mother of my child who didn’t tell me I had a goddamn child.”
“Still, man.” He shakes his head at me. “You can’t do that. She’s been the only parent your kid has known. She’s protected her. You can’t scare her into doing what you want.”
“You should see the place she has my kid in.”
“Is it dirty? Rundown? Unsafe?”
I think about the small apartment building. Yeah, it seems fairly taken care of, but I still don’t like it. “It’s not fit for . . .”
“What?” He smirks. “A Ross?”
Goddamn him.
“I want better for her, Asher. I want to make up for not being there for six years.”
Viv comes back out and takes a seat next to me. She must have heard my last sentence. “Is this really about your daughter?”
I don’t miss a beat. “Yes.”
She studies me intensely and then sighs, “I thought you didn’t want to be a dad?”
“That was before I knew I already was one.”
She gnaws on her bottom lip, like she’s conflicted. “I hate what you did, but I think it came from a good place.”
Asher scoffs and then laughs, “Piper is going to cut off your balls, man.”
I flip him off and settle back into my chair. “No, she’s not. If she knows what’s good for her, she’ll let me help. It seems like she’s been doing it alone for a long time. She should welcome it.”
“From the guy who broke her heart?” Viv asks, still extremely annoyed with me.
I shake my head, living in denial. “We were kids. We had no idea what the hell we were doing. It was a hookup.”
“Yeah.” Ash stands and places a hand on my shoulder. “You keep telling yourself that.”
“We were kids. I can’t help that she felt more than I did.”
Vivienne looks sick as she stands up to join her husband, placing a hand over her tiny baby bump. “You’re better than this, Sawyer.”
Her words sting. She knows how to hit me where it hurts. But truthfully, the time I spent with her opened my eyes to a lot about myself.
No, it didn’t make me a saint. I’m still an asshole. But I knew I didn’t want to be like my family. And maybe having feelings wasn’t all that bad.
I fell for Baz and truly wanted to want that kind of life. The kind Viv now has with my best friend. Piper was more than likely right about the eighteen-year-old me.
If she’d have told me about being pregnant, I’m sure I’d have done something appalling, but she still should have told me.
“I want to be a good dad.”
Viv looks at me full of pity. “I know. Maybe you should start by not threatening her mother.”
I want to be pissed, but it’s impossible to be mad at Viv. And I think back to the past, to a time when eighteen-year-old Piper was falling for me.
When I wouldn’t let myself believe it. When I thought I knew what was best.
When I was a total and complete liar. To her, but mostly to myself.
Eighteen years old
I’m in a shitty mood. Not surprising since I’m stuck at dinner with my brothers and my father. My least favorite thing to be doing in the world. They go on and on about some property they’re hoping to acquire as I think about Piper.
My sweet Piper.
Her soft red lips as they brush over my neck. Her words.
I love you.
“Sawyer?” My dad’s gruff voice brings me back to the present as I look across the table at his stern expression.
“Yeah?”
Spencer rolls his eyes at my blunt indifference. My father sighs with irritation. “I asked how things are going with the Ward girl.”
I nearly snort at his description of Piper but can’t help feeling uncomfortable with the subject as I shift in my seat. “What about her?”
My father’s eyes narrow. “Your mother mentioned she’s been over a lot lately.”
Fuck, now my mother chooses to pay attention to me?
“Not really. Why?” I don’t like his attention on Piper. I can’t explain it, but I don’t want my father involved in anything to do with her.
“Don’t worry, Dad, Sawyer will get bored with her soon enough,” Spencer adds without any teasing in his tone because Spencer doesn’t joke around. Everything he says is spoken with complete seriousness.
My father takes a drink of his scotch. “Yes well, let’s hope so.”
That surprises me, considering she’s a Ward. I’d expect my parents to be jumping for joy at the thought of a Ross and Ward union. “You don’t want me with Piper?”
His gaze hardens. “No, I don’t. You need to stay away from that girl.”
Cole seems unaffected, and Spencer seems to know something I don’t. Not that I’m surprised by that. He’s my father’s pride and joy after all. “And why is that?” I pull the napkin from my lap and place it on the table.
“Richard Ward has been a friend of mine for a long time . . .”
“All the more reason you should want your son with his daughter.”
My father is quickly losing patience with me. What else is new? “Oh, I do. But not this particular son.”
My glare moves to Spencer, and as he sits there with his back straight and his smug expression, I want to rip his head off. “You want Spencer with Piper? Are you fucking crazy?”
“Watch your mouth,” my father commands as he looks around the crowded pretentious restaurant to make sure no one is paying attention to us, and then his gaze lands back on me. “No. Not Piper. You need to stay away from her. She’s youn
g and naïve. Her father rightfully worries about her.”
“Piper’s smart.”
“How smart can she be, slumming it with you?” Spencer quips, and again, a bout of anger soars through me.
But can I really argue with that? Everyone knows Piper is out of my league.
“Stay away from her. I assured Richard I would have this talk, and with him being an old friend, I intend to follow through.”
“Just a talk, Father?” I glare at him.
His eyes slice through me because I see the threat in them. “For now.”
Right. Do what he says or lose everything. My trust fund. My car. Everything he can take away from me, he will. It’s all said through his one look.
And normally, I push back with his threats.
But now?
I was already pulling away from Piper. I know she’s in too deep, and maybe I am too. We’re eighteen. It’s fucking crazy to be feeling and saying those things.
We’ll end up exactly like our parents in this sick little world they created.
Maybe she’ll pop out a couple of kids we can fuck up and make just like us.
The cycle repeats and repeats.
“I’m not with Piper.” The words taste sour as I say them, burning my throat with the lies.
“Good.” My father takes another drink. “Keep it that way. Do whatever you need to do to keep her far away from you. You’re not good enough for her, Sawyer.”
“Gee thanks, Dad.” I stand from the table. “This has been great, but I have things to do.”
My father dismisses me, but when I turn to leave, I see I’m to be escorted out by the spawn of Satan himself, Spencer.
We get to the exit, and he grabs my arm, spinning me around to look at him. “You better heed his warning.”
“Doing Daddy’s bidding?”
“I mean it. Don’t fuck this up.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” And then I run through the conversation with my dad quickly in my head. Not Piper. Paisley.
I glare at my brother. “You’re going to, what, woo Paisley Ward so you can be some sort of fucked-up royal family?”
He releases my arm and straightens his tie. “Don’t worry about my plans, little brother. Leave a real man to do what you never could.”