by Nicole Dykes
Tonight could have gone so much worse if I hadn’t had him to rely on.
Who knew I would end up being so thankful for Sawyer?
My heart is still beating so rapidly I should probably be concerned, but the only thing I’m worried about is Piper. What the fuck was that jackass thinking following her home? And what the hell was he planning to do?
I can’t think about it.
It makes me homicidal.
“Thank you, Sawyer.” I lift my eyes, trying to unclench my fists at my sides.
“You can always call me.”
She smiles at that and then sighs, standing by the stairs. “Is she still asleep?”
I nod. “As far as I know. She hasn’t been downstairs.”
“I’m going to go check on her. I’ll be right back.”
I’m surprised by that, expecting her to just go to her room. But I’m relieved she still wants to talk. While she goes upstairs, I take a seat on the couch. All the horrible scenarios of what could have happened to her running through my head.
I groan and tilt my head back, resting it against the couch, bringing my hands over my face. I jolt when I feel small hands on my forearms, lowering my hands. “Sorry.”
I smile at Piper and sit up straight. “She still asleep?”
She nods, curling her legs underneath her as she sits next to me on the couch. “Yeah. That kid can sleep through anything.”
“You okay?”
I watch her elegant throat as she swallows tightly. “I feel stupid.”
“You shouldn’t. What if it were Audrey . . . many, many years from now. If some dickhead put her in the same position you were in tonight, what would you want her to do?”
She ponders that, leaning the side of her head against the couch. “The same thing I did.”
“Exactly. You have good instincts, Piper. Gotta trust them.”
She snorts. “Yeah. My instincts are fantastic.”
I know she’s being sarcastic, and it’s a small, backhanded comment aimed at me, but she wouldn’t be where she is without her instincts. And I think she’s done a great job.
Her finger slides over my t-shirt where my tattoo is. “Why did you get this tattoo?”
My eyebrows pinch together as I search her face. “That’s what you want to talk about?”
“Distract me or my mind will be everywhere.”
The moment is so damn reminiscent of when we were younger that I’m nearly drowning in memories. “I wanted to remember the biggest mistake of my life.”
“Me.” Her voice is small, and I don’t like it as her gaze lowers to her finger tracing the letter even though she can’t see it.
I use my hand to tilt her chin up, making her eyes level with mine. “No. What I did to you.”
She swallows again and nods her head. “I should go to bed.”
Her hand drops to her lap, and I want to beg her to stay, but I don’t have that right. She’s had a hell of a night. And I know I’m the reason she hasn’t dated for so long in the first place. I doubt this experience is going to help her trust men.
I release her chin and give a clipped nod. “I’m glad you called me.”
She doesn’t make a move to leave. Instead—shockingly—she moves into my lap, her legs straddling my thighs. “Me too, Sawyer.”
I don’t dare move. Afraid it’s a dream or I’ll fuck it up as she places her hands on my chest and leans down, her lips brushing over mine slowly.
I don’t make a move, even though I’m dying to. I want to crash my lips against hers, wrap my arms around her, and hold her here with me forever.
But I remain still and let her take control as she presses her lips to mine, tentatively at first but then demanding I kiss her back. I oblige. Her tongue sweeps into my mouth and tangles with my own, pulling a moan from me.
My hands move to her back, smoothing over the silky material of her dress as we’re engaged in a war between teeth, tongues, and lips. While we’re losing ourselves in the moment, her fingers drift through my hair.
She tastes sweet, like maybe she had dessert on her date. My dick is achingly hard as she grinds on my lap, both of us a panting mess. I want her, but I can feel her resistance even before she pulls away.
She lets out a shaky breath as her eyes meet mine. “Goodnight, Sawyer.”
“You kissed me again.” The words are stupid, but they fall out of my mouth as she climbs off my lap, leaving a very prominent erection that I couldn’t hide even if I tried.
She bites on her puffy lower lip. “I wanted you to erase the memory of him.”
“And did I?”
She smiles, it’s bold and bright and so fucking beautiful as she nods. “You did. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
She walks away, heading toward the stairs, and I remain on the couch replaying every second of that kiss.
Since when am I totally whipped from a couple of kisses?
I kissed him again. And what’s worse is I don’t regret it. His firm, large body under mine felt so damn good. His mouth is perfect. And the way he kisses . . .
Just the thought of it sends a shiver through my body. Not the best thing to be thinking about at work, but I can’t stop the smile from forming on my mouth.
It quickly disappears when Spencer walks into my office like he owns the place. Which okay, technically he does. But it’s my damn name on the door.
“Spencer.” I sit up a little straighter.
“Piper.” He takes a seat across from me at my desk. “How’s domestic life treating you?”
What the hell is he talking about? My eyebrow arches as I wait for him to elaborate. Of course, he doesn’t so I have to ask, “What do you mean?”
“You. The kid. Sawyer. All in one house. That’s got to be something else.”
I sit there, completely flabbergasted as he looks totally casual in his chair, waiting for my reply. “Kid?”
“Audrey.”
Oh. My. God. “You know about Audrey?”
He shrugs his broad shoulders as if I’m being totally ridiculous. “Of course, I do.”
“You never said anything.”
“Why would I?”
The smug ass. I really despise him, and he knows it. “Why wouldn’t you? If you knew your brother had a child, why wouldn’t you say something? Why wouldn’t you tell him?”
He stands, fastening the button on his suit jacket, looking like I’m boring him. “Please, Piper.”
“Why are you asking about it now if you don’t care?”
“I still don’t care, but it’s a little more interesting now that you two are playing house. You really think Sawyer is father material?”
My hands clench in my lap. “You have no idea what your brother is like as a father. He’s actually incredible.”
“So incredible that you didn’t even bother telling him about her?”
“He knows now.”
An evil smirk forms on his lips, and I wonder if he even has a soul. “He’s a good actor, Piper. Always has been. Fits the role he feels he needs to until he gets complacent.”
I swallow hard, the fear swirling around inside of me. Hating that he was able to tap into my biggest fear. “He’s not acting with her.”
“Bullshit. But you go ahead and enjoy this time. Don’t you dare fall apart here when it all blows up at home though.”
I stand up, my hands firmly on my desk. “Why do you hate him so damn much?”
Surprisingly, he doesn’t dismiss me. He moves closer, placing his own palms flat on my desk as he shoots fire from his eyes. “Why do you hate him?”
I start to argue that I don’t hate him. Not anymore. And I can’t even pretend like I do, but there’s something in the way he says the word you. The way his eyes are imploring me to understand something deeper, and it hits me hard.
“Paisley.”
He stands up straight but doesn’t argue.
“You and my sister?”
He makes a disgusted sound. “N
o. Of course not. I didn’t want my brother’s sloppy seconds.”
“But you wanted her.”
“Who wouldn’t?”
My stomach twists in knots, thinking about Sawyer and her, naked that night in that bed. “How did you find out about them?” He was out of town by then.
“He sent me a picture.”
I gape at him, forcing myself to stand upright. “What?”
“Seems Sawyer got his revenge.” He straightens his tie. “Like I said, when it all blows up, do not let me down here. I won’t hesitate to fire you.”
He exits, and I plop down in my office chair, stunned stupid.
Not only did Sawyer fuck my sister, but he did it to hurt his brother. Not caring that it would gut me in the process.
Once again, I’m a complete fool.
“I don’t want to go to bed.”
I smile at Audrey, who’s trying to give Piper her best argument to stay up later. Her brown eyes peer up at her mother with her little bottom lip poked out.
I mean, if it were up to me, with that look, the kid could probably have a pony. But Piper is impenetrable.
“Bed. Now.”
“Mommmmy,” Audrey whines, and I smile because even that’s cute.
“Hey, kiddo. Tomorrow is the weekend. And Viv said she’s making lunch and inviting Jacee.”
“Oh, I love Jacee!” Audrey squeals, and I smile.
“So, you gotta get to bed so you’ll have enough rest to have all that fun tomorrow.”
She’s thinking it over, something I’ve noticed she does a lot, and then nods. “Okay.”
She climbs under the covers of her bed, and Piper tucks her in, kissing her head, and then I say goodnight, following Pipes out.
She’s been quiet today, but I’m assuming it’s just because of her hellish date.
I follow her into her room as she sits perched on the edge of the bed, leaning down to unfasten the strap of her shoes from her ankles. “She’s really fucking cute.”
When her gaze lifts to me, it’s an icy cold glare. “Did you know about Spencer and Paisley?”
What the fuck? That’s the last thing I expected.
“Sort of. What do you mean?”
She stands, kicking out of her shoes and making her way to stand before me. “He knew about Audrey. He told me today.”
“That motherfucker.”
She shushes me, nodding toward Audrey’s room. I lower my voice and say, “Sorry, but what the fuck? Does Cole know?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask him, but when I asked him why he hates you so much, it was clear it came down to my sister.”
“He hated me long before that, Piper.”
“Well, that’s why he hates you now. And you knew?”
We were finally doing a little better. Leave it to my big brother to fuck things up again. “I knew my father wanted your sister with Spencer. Yeah.”
She looks sick, and I understand that feeling. Anything with Paisley and/or Spencer is pretty goddamn sickening, if you ask me. “Wanted her with him?”
“Yeah. Married. Kids. The whole fucking thing.”
She moves back to the bed where she sits again on the edge, her posture perfect. “You knew that.”
It’s not really a question, but I answer anyway, daring to take one step toward her. “I did.”
“So, that’s why you fucked her? To get back at your brother?”
I feel bile rising, my stomach twisting in knots, thinking about that idiotic time in my life. I could make a million excuses, but none of them matter. None of them make it okay. “Piper . . .”
I walk closer to her just as she stands, and I try to take her hand in mine, but she yanks it away. “Don’t touch me.”
Fuck.
“Piper, listen to me.”
“No.” She clutches her stomach. “You fucked my sister to get even with your brother and probably your father too. You devastated me for revenge. You didn’t care about me.”
I reach for her again, but she steps back, tears filling her eyes. “Don’t.”
“Piper—”
“Get out of my room.”
“Piper, let me explain.” Even though there’s really nothing I can say. I did it. She saw it. And Spence effectively made it so much worse today.
“No. I don’t want to hear it. I was right about keeping everything in the past. I was right about us not being friends or really anything.” She swallows, and it looks nearly painful, like she’s trying to rid herself of a bad taste. “Is everything a lie?”
Her eyes dart to the wall she shares with Audrey. “No,” I say firmly and take a step closer to her. “No.” I say it louder the second time.
“Get out.”
“It’s not a lie with her. I swear. I’m not that stupid kid anymore.”
“You didn’t tell me about Spencer and Paisley.”
“We haven’t talked about it. You haven’t let m—”
She cuts me off quickly, “And I was right!” She quiets her voice, taking a deep breath, “It’s too painful to go down that road. I don’t want to. Now get out before I take Audrey and leave.”
The fear rippling down my spine paralyzes me for a moment. “You wouldn’t.”
“I would. Now get out.”
There are so many things I want to say, but I can’t risk her leaving.
I can’t risk Audrey.
And as I leave, anger boils in me, nearly simmering over the surface as I make it to the downstairs gym to take my frustration out on the punching bag.
Because everything always goes back to that night.
Eighteen years old
“Piper!” I call out after Piper, but she’s gone. I lift Paisley off me, and she glares at me with her bloodshot eyes.
She’d been crying when I ran into her at the party tonight. Why, I have no idea. I didn’t really ask. I just drank myself into oblivion and watched as she did the same.
“Fuck.” I sit on the edge of the bed as she pulls her dress on over her head.
“Why are you so upset? That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”
She grabs my phone off the bed, and I remember the picture she took with her straddling me. Both of us naked, although that’s as far as we got. “What are you doing?”
She lifts her shoulder, looking pretty damn out of it. “Don’t worry about it. She hates you now.” She tosses my phone on the bed next to me. I find the pic and quickly delete it.
I don’t want to hurt Piper any more than I already have. I never meant for her to walk in and see it for herself. Never. I thought maybe her sister would blab to someone, but I didn’t want Piper to witness it.
I scrub a hand over my face, feeling sick from the alcohol, but mostly from the look on Piper’s face. She looked so broken.
I told Paisley everything. About Spencer. About my father. And about not being good enough for Piper. About wanting to protect her from me. Pushing her away. And then she kissed me and stripped naked, agreeing I wasn’t good enough for her sister.
Everything got out of control so fucking fast.
“Don’t you care that we just destroyed Piper?”
Paisley has a hint of human in her, revealing it briefly, but then she schools her features. “You’re right about my sister. She deserves better than a Ross.”
Pain hits me in my gut, and I feel like I might throw up. “What a good sister.”
She walks to the door, tossing me an evil look over her shoulder. “We all do what we have to in order to survive in this cruel world we were born into.”
I look away from her, and she leaves.
I lay back on the bed, the room spinning.
What the fuck did I just do?
I’m gutted. Yet again. And I’m angry. I can’t sleep, no matter how hard I try. I’m not sure why this bothers me more than him just being a horny teenager and sleeping with my sister, but it’s eating away at me.
I throw back the covers and climb out of bed, checking on Audrey and finding her
out cold in her bed before going downstairs. I search for Sawyer on the main floor, but he’s nowhere to be found. I go into the basement, which is where I find him.
Shirtless and in a pair of shorts, he’s pummeling a punching bag over and over with bare fists. Sweat is pouring from him, and my eyes are fixed on the tattoo on his muscular chest. “Sawyer.”
He continues his assault, ignoring me. I see the anger in his eyes. But I also see the drain of the past on him. The same I feel.
“Sawyer,” I say louder, and this time, he hears me and stops but doesn’t move. I approach him slowly, my hands trembling. “Is that really why you slept with her?”
He scoffs coldly as he lands another angry punch on the bag. “I didn’t.”
“What?”
He turns to face me. “I didn’t fuck her.”
Now it’s my turn to get angry. I fold my arms over my stomach and glare at him. “I saw you.”
“No. You saw her on me. Naked. And yeah . . . that’s just as bad, but I didn’t actually fuck her, and I was going to stop it. Everything got out of control.”
“What? Your plan to send Spencer a picture of you fucking Paisley?”
“What are you talking about?” He looks confused. But maybe it’s an act.
“Spencer said you sent him a picture.”
“Mother. Fucker.” He slides down to the floor, his back against the wall and his knees up. “She sent him that picture.”
“Paisley?” I slide down to the floor too, ignoring that my sleep shorts are pretty damn short and they slide up when I do.
“Yeah. She took a picture. I thought it was weird. I deleted it, but I guess she sent it before I did.”
My eyes flutter closed as I fight tears. “But . . . you were naked with her. It sure looked like sex.”
“It didn’t go that far. But it was just as bad. I can’t make excuses for it, Piper. It was fucked up. I wanted to push you away. I knew you were too good for me.”
“That’s stupid.”
He laughs humorlessly, dragging fingers through his hair. “Clearly, I wasn’t wrong.” His tortured eyes meet mine. “When you told me you loved me, I fucking panicked. All of a sudden, I saw your future go up in flames.”