by Ophelia Bell
9
Celeste
It takes the entire drive home for me to stop shaking. How could I have been so stupid? Falling into his arms again felt as easy as breathing, but I know better now. I know how deadly being close to me can be.
After Papá made me quit dance class, I went through a rebellious stage. Toni was my partner in crime for a good bit of it, since she lived with us by then. Her mother, Elena, has been our housekeeper for as long as I can remember, and her dad died in my father’s service. After her father’s death, Papá invited the family to move into our garage apartment, to save Elena the time and money of trekking to Los Feliz from West LA every day. So Toni and I attended the same school and flirted with the same boys until we graduated.
After Maddox, I took the flirting up a notch at school, testing my father’s limits with every late-night phone call he caught me in the middle of. Our senior year, Toni and I were already inseparable, but the only real socializing we ever did occurred when my father threw parties for the rich black-market art collectors he dealt with. I’d known for a few years already that my father’s business wasn’t necessarily legal, but we never associated with anyone who didn’t look like they had money, and a lot of it. Only the men who worked for my father ever had that rough and hungry look—like they’d kill for the right price, and it wouldn’t take much.
To everyone looking in, my father looks like an art dealer. He has connections he still hasn’t divulged to me yet, people who bring priceless works of art to him to sell for an enormous cut of the profits. I assume they’re talented art thieves, but the provenances of the pieces are always painstakingly documented, and I’ve never once heard of a buyer contesting them.
At one party, when I was seventeen, two years after Maddox, I decided I needed to show my father I could be in control of my own life. I chose a rich, handsome man—one of the many collectors who came for my father’s annual auction at our home—and decided he would be the one who could have me if he pleased me enough.
I was even more stupid then. My reckless need to assert my autonomy only proved to my father how naive I was, but I didn’t expect him to punish me by killing the man who had dared to return my interest.
I know there was more to it than that. I’d chosen a man I thought would be an ally, with enough power to push back against my father. What I hadn’t seen then was how I’d unwittingly presented myself as an object he could use to manipulate my father to get what he wanted.
Of course, Papá saw through the man’s intentions better than I did at the time. Any man who would take advantage of a girl so young couldn’t be trusted. He wasn’t Maddox, who’d done nothing worse than love me and been beaten for it. He was a man who’d taken my need to rebel against an overbearing father and twisted it to his own ends. I’m only grateful that he never had a chance to hurt me. My father never gave him the opportunity.
Now I don’t know if my feelings for Maddox would be enough to protect him. After this afternoon, I have no doubt he still has feelings for me, but Papá made it clear a week ago he doesn’t approve of Maddox.
Still, Maddox’s argument that love is everything sticks with me. I know Papá isn’t blind to the power love can have. He may insist that it’s dangerous, a weakness that can be exploited, but in his more maudlin moments, he reveals a different side of himself. A side that remembers what he and Mama had together, and how she made him a stronger man before she died. I hope that means his opinion can be swayed. Maybe not for Maddox, but for someone he does trust. Someone he’s already allowed me to get close to.
I shouldn’t let myself entertain such ideas. There’s only one other man I’ve ever wanted to let down my barriers for, if he were willing to take the risk Maddox was so cavalier about. As dangerous a prospect as it is, I can’t help but wonder what Papá would think about Leo.
When Leo came to my rescue last weekend, I almost dared give in and let that feeling surface for the first time since my kidnapping attempt. The way he looked at me with such warmth when he touched my cheek, I was reminded of the ordeal of my near miss two years ago. Of being shell-shocked after killing the man who’d broken into our house to try to take me, and of how right it felt to be held by Leo in the aftermath.
I wanted Leo to kiss me on both occasions. Desperately. But all we shared was a look, a silent exchange that still leaves me wondering what could have been. Maybe I’ve just been so starved for affection that any man brave enough to cross that line stands out, but with Leo I believe it’s more than that. Gustavo regularly pushes my boundaries, but Leo always maintains a respectful distance. Except when he didn’t in those two brief, charged moments—and I wish he’d cross the line for real. Because if it were him, a trusted soldier in Papá’s own army, I might just be able to convince Papá it could work without compromising my focus on the business.
Voices carry up the hillside from our lower garden patio as I exit the car. Instead of heading into the house, I head down the path that adjoins the driveway and winds around the terraced hill to a locked gate with a keypad entry. My code gives me access, and on the other side, Gustavo and Papá are seated across from each other on the rattan patio chairs near the fire pit, speaking in low voices.
Papá’s brow is furrowed, and he shakes his head, then stops midsentence when he sees me. He smiles and stands, reaching out both hands. Gustavo stands as well.
“Mija. How did your appointment with the tattoo artist go?”
I blink and falter for a step before closing the distance and taking his hands, leaning in to let him kiss me on the cheek. Over his shoulder, Gustavo’s eyes blaze, the angry red wound on his face still only half-healed after a week, the bruising mottled.
“Actually, I changed my mind,” I say, as if it isn’t strange that he knows my business despite the fact that I didn’t tell him where I was going today. “I decided I don’t want anything to overshadow the tattoo Toni gave me. It’s too precious.”
I’m only partly lying. I desperately want the tattoo Maddox sketched for me today, but I doubt I’ll return to get it. Not after how I left things with him this afternoon, especially since Leo nearly discovered us.
As if on cue, a familiar voice calls my name, sending a jolt of awareness through me.
“Celeste! Where the hell have you been?”
My rapid heartbeat takes a moment to slow—it isn’t Leo, but his older brother Manny, whose voice is uncannily similar to Leo’s. He’s strolling toward us with three open bottles of beer, the brown glass coated in condensation. He’s the more clean-cut of the Reyes brothers, with a neatly trimmed beard and shaved head, where Leo opted to own the lion’s mane of hair that has become his trademark. Manny also has a sweeter, softer demeanor and comes across as the gentler of the two though I know from experience that he can be as ruthless as Gustavo. Manny’s eyes have a shrewd glint when he shifts his glance between Gustavo and my father.
When he reaches us, he hands one of the bottles of beer to my father and one to Gustavo.
“You want one? I can go back and get myself another.” He holds the third bottle out to me and points a thumb over his shoulder toward the kitchen.
I shake my head. “No thank you. I think I interrupted something though. Papá, please forgive me. What were you and Gustavo discussing?”
Taking a seat, I smile up at the three men, waiting for Papá to answer. Papá sits again and begins a discussion about a new shipment of antiquities coming into Long Beach later in the month. It isn’t news to me—we’re preparing to add a second auction for the fall, and the preparations need to be handled well in advance. But I can’t shake the sense that he and Gustavo were talking about something different when I arrived.
Elena calls us to supper a little later, and when my father and Gustavo head inside, I take a moment to pull Manny aside.
“It isn’t just the auction they’ve been discussing today, is it? What are they keeping from me?”
“Just some other business your father needs Gustavo to
handle. Nothing you need to worry about.”
I grab his arm and yank him back. He gives me a surprised look and stops. “I do need to worry about it. Anything related to the business is my responsibility. I’m not just his daughter. I’m the CFO. If someone’s getting paid, it goes through me.”
He gives me a helpless look and shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you. How much blood do you want on your hands, Celeste? The feds ever come after him, you want to stick to the accounting side of things and let Gustavo and Papá’s fixer handle the dirty shit.”
“I don’t give a damn if he’s hiring a new gardener or a fucking assassin. I need to know!”
“I know this, but they don’t keep me in the loop on everything. All I can say is that he had Gustavo following someone today. Not sure who or why, but I doubt it had anything to do with money.” He gives me a “what do you want me to do?” look, and I realize I’m talking to the wrong man. Papá is frustratingly good at diverting my attention from what I really want to know, so it’s impossible to get a straight answer from him, and Manny is far too loyal to betray my father even to me. Gustavo is the man I really need to talk to, but it might be difficult to win him over again after what happened last weekend.
Manny disappears inside, and I collect myself for a second to decide how to approach Gustavo. When I reach the dining table, our odd little family is seated, with my father at one end and Gustavo at the other. Manny and the twins fill out one side, and Elena sets one last dish in the center before taking a seat across from her sons, leaving the spot at Papá’s right for me. The end opposite Papá used to be my mother’s place, which sat empty for years. It’s only been recently that Gustavo has taken to sitting there when he stays for meals. I don’t like how entitled he behaves in our house, but I would feel like a petulant child if I brought it up with my father. If anyone has earned that seat, it’s me, not Gustavo. Mama was my father’s partner. Gustavo is his employee. On paper, I hold a higher status in the organization than he does.
I have to force myself to let those angry thoughts go for now. If I’m going to earn his trust, he can’t perceive any animosity.
“Where is your brother tonight?” Papá asks Manny. “You know he is welcome at my table too.”
“He had some business to take care of downtown,” Manny answers noncommittally. “But I’ll tell him you said so. Thank you.”
“Any friends of Elena’s children are welcome.”
Despite her status as our housekeeper, Elena has always held a special place in our lives, as have her kids. When Mama died, she stepped in and practically raised me from age eight. I’m grateful for her presence, which I think helped ease my father’s grief. I’ve even begun to hope that their affection for each other might evolve into something deeper, but they’ve never seemed more than platonic.
We join hands and Papá says grace, then Benny and Baz pounce on the food like hungry beasts. The table is silent for several minutes except for the sounds of food being served, then conversation picks up again.
“So,” Elena begins with a suggestive tilt of her eyebrow at Manny, “when are you going to make an honest woman of my daughter?”
All attention turns to Manny, who grins through a reddened face. “You think I’m going to give that away? You all are shit at keeping secrets.”
“You can tell me in private if you want,” Elena says. “I’ve kept a secret or two in my day.” She shoots him a devious smile.
If anything, Manny’s statement is the exaggeration. You can’t live in this house without being privy to dozens of secrets—some secrets I’m sure Elena will take to her grave.
Toni’s brothers toss some good-natured ribbing Manny’s way about keeping him honest. Manny’s reaction to the question makes me smile to myself though. Toni’s been in love with him for years, long before the pair became a couple. If he asked her to marry him, there’s no doubt in my mind she would accept. She’s always been like a sister to me, and I have to admit that I get some vicarious satisfaction seeing her so happy with him.
“You’d have to move to San Diego to be with her,” I say. “You know she won’t move her shop to LA, even for you.”
“If the woman loves him, she should move for him,” Gustavo chimes in. “Her place is where her husband is.”
Papá’s heavy brows draw in. “You should never ask a woman to choose between two things she loves. A good man would let her follow her heart. If it leads her back to him, then he knows he is worthy of her love.”
Gustavo snorts. “Don’t give me that ‘if you love someone, set them free’ bullshit. A woman will never respect a man who doesn’t maintain boundaries in the relationship.”
“Antonia would be a fool to leave San Diego and risk disrupting her show,” Elena says. “I’m sure she and Manny could work it out.”
Manny shakes his head and rolls his eyes at the rest of us. “She’d laugh at all of you trying to make this decision for us. Who the hell knows what the future holds? For all I know, she’ll want to move to Cabo and leave all you fools behind. Once we’re married, wherever she goes, I go.”
Elena claps her hands. “So you are going to ask her! I knew it!”
Manny groans as the table erupts in laughter and unsolicited commentary from the twins. Elena rises in the midst of it and clears the dishes. I pour another glass of wine and excuse myself, opting to skip dessert and take my glass into the library down the hall, where I prefer to work in the evening.
The french doors are open onto the rear patio, and a pleasant late-summer breeze coasts through. I open my laptop and log into the accounting dashboard. I click through to the real estate holding accounts, hoping to revisit my arguments for selling that building downtown. Guilt over my intention of displacing Maddox and his mom threatens to distract me when a shadow fills the doorway.
“Always working, even on the weekends.”
My head jerks up. Gustavo leans casually against the frame, his arms crossed.
I narrow my eyes at him when my heart stops racing. “You and Papá were engrossed in work when I got home. Any chance you’ll tell me what you were discussing?”
He steps into the room and offers a dismissive shrug as he feigns interest in the bookshelf closest to the door. “He had me follow you today. Now that you know Mad Dog is back in LA, I guess Papá doesn’t trust you to stay away. Turns out, he was right not to. Whatever you two were doing in the back of that studio, you sure left looking freshly fucked.”
My blood turns to ice, and I’m struggling for breath when he turns to me with a smirk. Any pretense of affection he might have shown me before is gone.
“Don’t worry, princess. I kept your secret. I suppose I owe Mad Dog for patching me up after what Leo did.” He touches his cheek thoughtfully. “Though he still owes me big.”
I exhale the breath I’ve been holding. Leo was a fool to attack Gustavo the way he did. I’m not sure what made Gustavo reveal his true feelings—or lack thereof—to me. Was it just what happened with Maddox, or Leo’s behavior toward me? Either way, it’s clear now it was all a ruse to make me let down my guard with him.
“Are you going to hurt Leo?”
“Where would be the fun in that? I’ve learned that when someone owes you a favor, it’s best to be strategic about how you cash in. While I’d gain some satisfaction from seeing him bleed, how would that help me in the long run? As for you . . . I think I already know how you can repay me for keeping your little secret.”
“What happened to owing Maddox?”
“You weren’t the one with the bandages, princess. You still owe me.”
“What do you want, Gustavo?” I grit out. Outside the open door to the patio, Papá’s voice floats by, followed by Manny’s and, a moment later, the sweet-tobacco scent of cigar smoke. Normally, it would relax me, but tonight it just makes me edgy. Gustavo must have smelled it too, because he edges back out of view of the doorway, as if he doesn’t want to be seen talking to me.
“I want you
to be available over the next couple weeks. That’s all. And when I ask you to join me for a business meeting, don’t say no.”
“What sort of business meeting? Who is it with? I need more details so I can be prepared.”
“One that would be beneficial for the business. You care about how things go in this organization. Holding on to the success Papá has achieved is important to you, so I think you’ll want to meet with this person when the time comes. He definitely wants to meet with you.”
“Who is it?” I snap, standing up and leaning on the desk.
He gives me a devious smile that doesn’t instill a shred of trust. “Amador.”
I blink once, not sure I heard him correctly. Amador is my father’s oldest enemy. Why in the world would he want to meet with me? The rift between them didn’t always exist though. At one point, they were business partners, but Papá has never explained exactly what caused them to part ways with such ill feelings toward each other.
“Why aren’t you bringing this to Papá?” I ask. “If Amador wants a truce, or to go into business together again for some reason, you should take it to him first.”
“He specifically asked for you. Don’t ask me why, he’s as cagey as Arturo. All I know is he wanted you, and I have a vested interest in bringing you to him. If you want me to keep your secret, you’ll say yes and keep your father out of the loop until we can bring him a solid deal. I’m sure you remember what I can do to a man’s face with my fists.”
Baffled by this request, I give him a terse nod. Papá showed me photos of a teenage Maddox after Gustavo had finished with him. The only reason Gustavo let Maddox live was because my father had a soft spot for Marcella Santos. I knew Papá gave her a deal on her lease, but I always wondered if there was something more between them.
“You’ll hear from me,” Gustavo says, then disappears into the hallway again. A moment later, his deep voice joins Papá and Manny outside.