He pinned her hands over her head and captured her mouth with his.
The groan that tore through her felt like it was going to tear her apart.
He pressed his knee between her legs and pushed between her thighs. Then he pressed himself over her, his mouth still over hers.
It was good… yet so far. So distant. The harder he pulled, pushed, and stroked, the more aware she was that he was only a dream. None of this was real. Even when she pushed back against him, even when she grabbed his face. The illusion held, but it was lacking.
Lacking in weight. In depth. In intensity.
The goodness faded, but he stayed. He kissed her, caressed her, ground himself against her. Everything in her tightened. Her body wailed for more.
But no matter how high the tension or need rose, there was no release. Nothing but aching desperate need. She gasped, tried to scream, tried to pull him closer, tried to feel him more fully.
Nothing worked.
There was no release.
Only teasing. Only need. And she was burning alive.
54
A Change of Terms
Amelia woke in the hammock, gasping and covered in sweat. Tacky had moved to her feet and stared at her with the most judgmental expression she'd ever seen on a dolmath. Her hands flew to her breasts, then her throat.
Just a dream.
Only a dream.
She swallowed, fighting to calm her raging pulse. This was horrible. Horrible beyond all reason. It took every ounce of strength not to scratch her elmis raw or go attack Naatos. At the moment, she couldn't decide whether she wanted to beat his face in or kiss him or ride him or all of the above. How dare he!
No. Wait.
It wasn't his fault. She clamped her wrists against her torso. What she'd dreamed about hadn't even referenced the river. This was all her. She was going to have to do something.
Vestoving would work if not for the mind shade.
She wriggled with rage. This was ridiculous. She'd only seriously planned on killing Naatos and his brothers, and she had intended to use the curse and becoming a monster to handle that. Now—if she ever found who did this to her—well, maybe she'd just ask Naatos to handle that.
Gradually her heartbeat slowed. This day was starting, whether she wanted it to or not. And she was going to have to look at people again. Including Naatos.
Oh Naatos.
He would notice if she didn't look him in the eye. Maybe he'd just think it was because of what happened at the river. Maybe…
Carefully, she sat up and peered around the camp. The dull yellow light of dawn and the heavy fog that surrounded the camp gave everything a more mysterious air. The damp chill was helpful too. Scooping Tacky up, she slipped out of the hammock. It snuggled against her, draping its forelegs over her shoulder like a kitten.
AaQar greeted her as she approached the fire. Large slabs of something that resembled swordfish grilled over the flames. "QueQoa decided we should have fish for breakfast today. He and WroOth went back to get more. The bavril ate two."
She smiled as she glanced back at Proteus. He shook his head and yawned as if he didn't care that they were discussing him. He had a hearty appetite. Thankfully they were attacked by enough creatures they didn't have to do much hunting for him. His hackles were up though. Odd. As was his tapping one foot repeatedly. "Is he all right?"
"There's probably a storm coming," AaQar said. "Bavrils get anxious about storms, and they eat more to soothe. Best stay away from him. I doubt he'd try to devour you, but it's best to be safe. We'll take some of the fish with us to keep him soothed."
"What sort of storm?"
"Hopefully just rain. Regular rain has the least warning, but we'll survive that easily."
The long ululating lowing that Proteus offered suggested he doubted this.
"Poor darling. Is there anything we can do to make him feel better?" She checked the kettle and found that the water was hot. As had become her habit, she added the Neyeb herbs to her canteen and poured the hot water in. The steam carried with it the very green and almost minty scent.
"You can eat breakfast and stay strong enough so that you don't have to ride."
She pursed her lips as she set the kettle back over the fire. For the next week, no one needed to be doing any riding of any sort. She glanced back, pretending it was to see Proteus but letting her gaze slide over to Naatos's sleeping trench. It was empty.
Everything clenched inside her. Of course he was walking up behind her. Pretending not to notice, she carried her canteen to one of the logs on the farther side of the fire.
"There's fish," AaQar announced. "QueQoa and WroOth will be returning soon with more. There is meadowcress and water bright beyond the river's second bend. I'm going to gather it. If you can tend the colrum serum, Naatos, it seems to be eating through the stone vessel. It is getting very potent. You two, don't kill each other and don't—" He shrugged, then waved his hand as he walked toward the river. "You're both adults, don't be stupid."
She glared after AaQar, trying to will him to come back. How could he leave her here alone with Naatos? WroOth and QueQoa would be back soon. Especially since WroOth intended to throw her off a cliff before they started journeying for the day. At this rate, she'd happily jump, no matter how far down it was. Still, she had to manage for now.
Turning, she smiled at Naatos. "Good morning." Everything rushed back as soon as she saw him.
He stood just on the edge of the circle, his hair somewhat rumpled from sleep. As he came to a halt in front of the fire, he looked her up and down, a faint smile curving his exceptionally kissable lips. "What did you dream about last night?" he asked at last.
"Nothing to do with the Ki Valo Nakar." She met his gaze as she took a deliberate sip of tea. Casual was something she could do. "All good. Breakfast?"
He sat beside her, angled enough so that he could see her. "Would you like to know something interesting about Neyeb?"
"I'd love to."
"You remember when the hook-fanged spiders were attacking you and your mind stepped in to call for help since you were too stubborn to tell me who you were?"
She raised an eyebrow. "I might remember that."
"Because you broke the necklace apart and because we were not sufficiently bonded, the message was disrupted, which resulted in a highly inefficient transmission. We are much closer now."
"Are you planning on throwing me in a pit with spiders again?" She frowned.
"No. I don't plan on ever doing that again."
"Oh good. I'm glad we're having this conversation."
He chuckled. "That's not the reason we're having this conversation. The point is that the mind of a Neyeb is a powerful thing. And… sometimes, a Neyeb's subconscious will communicate with her spouse. In fact, as we grow closer, it will happen more frequently. Especially when we are in close proximity. Usually if a measure of desperation is involved."
She nodded slowly, an uneasy sensation spreading through her and tightening her muscles. He was far too happy. Much too amused. This wasn't good.
He kept a mostly straight face as he continued, insisting on looking her in the eye. "There is one exception. Sex is excellent for the brain, and once the sexual awakening occurs, you will find that it becomes something you need."
"I don't really need to hear about the benefits of sex from you or anyone right now."
"No, I'm sure you don't. It's just—" The smile broke fully over his face. "Your subconscious decided I needed to know just how unsatisfied you really are."
No.
"So it sent me a very, very detailed series of images regarding what you want. One might even call it a dream."
No, no. She started shaking her head. No.
"Not that I had any doubts to begin with. But now I know what you want."
"A new tube of mascara and a machine gun with enough ammo to take down any of the packs of horrible things that keep coming after us?"
"Amelia."
She forced herself to look at him, keeping her expression as neutral as possible even as the heat crept into her neck and cheeks. "Yes, sikalt?"
"What did you dream about?" Utter delight and mischief danced in his eyes.
She stood. "Nothing that came to any sort of satisfying conclusion, I'll tell you that much."
The peal of laughter that followed confirmed not only his amusement but agreement.
Rubbing her forehead, she concluded there was nothing to gain from pretending. "You have to believe me, I didn't mean to send any dream to you. I didn't even mean to have that dream. And I don't know how to stop it yet. But I'll find a way. The books had nothing on this. Nothing on sex actually. And it is driving me insane!"
"I don't think the dreams can be stopped," Naatos said, still amused. "But it gives me something to look forward to tonight."
"It is not happening again."
He feigned surprised as he canted his head. "Are you miraculously feeling satisfied without any release?"
She folded her arms. "All right. You know what? We need to deal with this."
He stood, hope lighting his features. "You want to—"
"We need to stop until we're past this."
"This being?" He folded his arms as well.
"The eight weeks?" She spread her arms as she stared up at him. Abruptly she pulled back. Voices. WroOth and QueQoa were almost back. She clenched her fists. "No!" This conversation needed to happen, but she didn't want an audience.
"What?" Naatos frowned.
Seizing him by the hand, she dragged him in the opposite direction. "I don't want your brothers to hear this!"
He trotted alongside her until she found a spot within the rels that was a little tucked away from the rest. A wall of trees and shrubs provided some privacy. "Look at you, veskaro," he purred. "You're so eager to get me alone now."
She put her hand on his chest, her own heart hammering. "You are making things incredibly difficult for both of us."
Glancing around, he made an exaggerated frown. "I don't believe I dragged you out here away from the rest. But this is a romantic spot."
He really could be infuriating. "We need to talk, and I don't need anyone interrupting me."
"Hm. You always seem to do a good enough job bringing it back to the topic you want."
She huffed at him. "Naatos. We can't keep going like this, and we have less than a week to go. We have to stop dancing the line and back off of each other for a bit."
He rolled his eyes as he shook his head. "No. We've made this much progress. I don't relinquish territory I've won."
"This is about survival, not conquest. I promise, we will vestov soon. We are almost there!"
"Yes, so we don't need to worry. We'll be careful." He slid his hand to her waist and down to her backside.
She swatted his hand. "Stop."
"You can touch me." He smiled.
"Naatos, I am about to explode. I cannot keep doing this. It's like eating fire!"
"Yes. I have been present for the past seven weeks. Except instead of eating fire, imagine it's an oily, all-consuming fire that is clogging your veins and keeping you from working at peak efficiency."
"So you agree, we should stop."
"No. It's just getting interesting."
"Naatos, we are on fire! And this is not a good thing. When you catch on fire, do you just stand there or do you put it out?"
"No. I evaluate the flames and determine whether it has reached a level of damage at which I do not feel comfortable continuing. When it does reach that point, I extinguish the flames, heal, and return. That is how you develop an immunity. That is how you become stronger."
She glared at him. Kissing him would shut him up. But it was also going to add to their problems.
"You want to kiss me, don't you?" He grinned.
"When QueQoa got bit by the cabiza, did you expect him to go back out and face it again?"
"No. Because he is QueQoa. He isn't working on an immunity right now. And if it happened to me, I would have healed, recuperated, and then returned. That's how I became immune."
"Yes, well, see in this example, us taking a break until we can actually vestov is the recuperation."
"No, it's the cooling off."
"I might die if we climax, isn't that enough?"
"You can't climax in dreams until you've done it in the waking world, and if you started to climax, I'd do something to stop you."
"How do you stop an orgasm?"
"Cold water. A dagger. If we had no alternative, a spider."
She raised an eyebrow. "Not funny."
"Amelia, trust me. I've been true to my word. I won't let anything go too far."
"I believe your word included that if I told you to stop something, then you would."
"You agreed to each day allowing me to find some way to seduce you. If you did not want me to seduce you for the day, you agreed to answer two questions of my choosing."
"Your questions are too much too! Can you promise me you aren't going to ask me things that are going to make me blush?"
"No."
"All right. Fine then. You like bargains. Let's make another bargain, shall we, you sikalting garom?"
He canted his head. "What do you have to offer this time, veskaro?"
"If I can fluster you enough with just words that you can't think of a response between now and the time I get back to the firepit, you have to give me a break until we can vestov. No seduction. No intimate questions."
"And if you fail?"
"I'll strip my gown off and let you see what's underneath."
"Three days." He smirked. "Not that it matters. Only one of us gets flustered when discussing things of this nature."
Setting her jaw, she glared at him. "Well, let's see about that." Stepping away, she ran her hand through her hair, fluffing it full of volume. Then she pointed at a rock. "Sit there."
"Hmm. I am intrigued by where this is going." He did as she asked.
She adjusted the neckline of her gown, fully aware that this now showed significantly more cleavage. Then, stepping closer, she lifted the hair along the back of his neck and leaned closer, her breasts pressing against his shoulder. "You see," she whispered in his ear. "You keep asking me all these questions designed for exposure and intimacy, but…" She leaned closer still, rubbing against him as she did. "But, in all these official sessions or whatever you want to call it, you have never once asked me if I wanted to kiss you." She flicked her hand through his hair as she stepped back, grinning. "Nor have you asked where."
He blinked.
She bumped him with her hip, turned, and bolted.
55
The Cliff
Amelia hurried to the firepit. QueQoa and WroOth were just finishing hanging fish from the spiked branches.
"Come on." Amelia grabbed at WroOth's arm but kept going even when she didn't manage to snag him. "Let's go jump off that cliff."
"Is there a reason for leaving so quickly?" WroOth passed the remaining fish to QueQoa as he gave her a quizzical look. "The cliff will be there even if we don't run."
"Yes, but AaQar wants to leave within the next couple hours. And that means less falling time for me. Come on."
"Are you trying to avoid Naatos, dear heart?"
Gah! Why wouldn't he move? She turned back to him. "Yes! Now will you go with me?"
"You can handle this?" He glanced at QueQoa.
QueQoa nodded. "Remember to catch her before she hits the ground. She won't heal as well as me."
"I'll do my best to remember." WroOth gestured toward the forest. "Do you know the way?"
"No." She set her hands on her waist, embarrassment stiffening her spine. "Which way?"
He grinned and indicated a forked tree just behind her. "That way. Due west."
"You have the rels?"
"I do."
"Then come on." She grabbed his wrist and pulled him along across the leaf-strewn ground. This time he cooperated.
Soon
they were well out of earshot and eyeshot. She breathed with relief. Maybe Naatos would choose to come after them. But maybe he'd take this time to think and agree with her.
She cringed inwardly. Probably not. He was probably planning some way to get even with her. A thought that was both arousing and concerning.
Really she needed a miracle to get him distracted. Otherwise, he'd probably take them both over the edge. Thus the prophecy would be fulfilled. She blinked, hoping that wasn't the case.
"So… what happened that made you so determined to take off?" WroOth put his arm around her shoulders as he pulled her away from a large flat rock. On the other side, a large blue-clawed crab ducked under the significantly-lower tree roots. "I know it had something to do with Naatos, but that could play out in a multitude of ways."
"I asked him to please give me space until after this week is over. And I don't think he appreciated that request. These past couple days…" She sighed. Even if she didn't climax, she might die just because. The mind shade had told her she was going to burn, but she doubted that it had ever expected the burning to be like this. This was almost crueler.
"It's gotten a lot worse for you these past weeks."
"Abstinence is much easier without desire." Amelia stopped short. "Wait, how do you know it's been worse over weeks?"
"You think you've hidden that fact?" WroOth grinned.
"I thought—" She paused. "I thought I'd been careful."
"Even if you hadn't said a word or done everything normal, we all would have known." He squeezed her in a side hug as they kept walking. "You've been feeling for him since everyone woke up after the ilzinium, but I think I caught a trace or two even before that."
An embarrassing suspicion presented itself. "WroOth."
"Yes?" He lifted his eyebrows at her.
"Just how well do Vawtrians smell things around them?"
He tilted his head, a confused smile playing at his features. "Better than most of the other races."
"Do Vawtrians smell people's… mood changes?"
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