by J. M. Adele
“Yep. You know he doesn’t like to leave them alone.”
Anton reckoned Papà was itchin’ to get them back to the farm. “Have we checked in on Dave?”
“Papà spoke to him before. Everything is fine at home. We’re lucky to have the extra help. I think we need to employ him for the busy seasons, at least. Then maybe you can get your degree.”
He flattened his mouth with a solemn nod. There wasn’t any point in getting his hopes up for something that might never happen. Just like with Lory. It was always best to pay no mind to unattainable things. Desperation often pushed the good stuff away, in his experience. The problem was, he couldn’t get her out of his head, no matter how hard he tried.
“Do you want to watch some TV with us?” Marianne asked, abandoning her novel—and all pretense of loving the classic—on the bed.
God, no. He’d spent way too much time with his sisters over the last few days. The fair was the only chance they had at a family holiday every year, but he’d prefer to continue working. “I’m just gonna chill in the annex.” At least he didn’t have to sleep inside with them. Although it wasn’t much of a separation, being just outside in a flimsy material add-on. But, hey, he had his own TV. Score.
“What about dinner?” His mama frowned.
“I’ll grab somethin’ later.”
He turned and opened the door, rearing back at finding Lory on the other side.
“Oh, hey.” She blushed, tucking her hair behind her ear.
Her proximity had his body lighting up like the midway. The door handle creaked as he tightened his grip.
He cleared his throat. “Evenin’. Are you after one of the girls?”
“Hi. Yes. Sophia?”
He stepped back so she could come in.
Sophia sat up. “Lory! You came.”
She hesitated in the entrance, clasping her hands. “Are you in your pajamas?”
“I’m so sorry, I should have called. I’m not feeling up to riding the roller-coaster tonight, but Antonio said he’d be happy to take you.”
His jaw unhinged, and in his peripheral vision, he saw Lorelei’s head swivel in his direction. Sophia angled her chin giving him a sweet smile while fluttering her lashes. His eyes narrowed. Payback is gonna be a bitch, little sister.
“Oh, um… only if you’re sure?” Lory’s brow crinkled as she bit her lip.
Christ, Sophia. What the hell? “I’d be happy to take you, if you’d like?”
She looked anything but sure as she twisted her fingers together, blinking up at him. “Okay.”
Okay? Was she agreeing because she didn’t want to seem rude? “I’ll just grab my jacket and boots.” He indicated for her to leave first.
The moment her back was turned, he glared at his grinning sister. Anton sliced a finger across his throat before turning to follow Lory, his mother’s gasp chasing his retreating back.
He had to school his features before addressing Lory. “Sorry, I’ll just be a sec.” Reaching for his boots and jacket, he donned them like they were some sort of personal protective equipment that would shield him from her charms. An impossible feat, considering she was under his skin.
He walked her through the campground towards the midway. “Are you sure you wanna do this? I’m sorry Sophia bailed on you.” Conniving little cow.
“We both know she didn’t.” Lory gave him a skeptical smile.
He should’ve known she’d see right through the act.
Does she see right through me?
Kids, high on cotton candy, darted around them in a game of tag, one losing part of his pink, fluffy treat to the pavement.
“You’re aware of her manipulative side, huh?” Anton’s eyes followed a clown on stilts as she ambled by.
Coming to a crossroad, Lory slowed for a horse being led towards the stables. “We got played. Why she dragged you into it, I don’t know. Listen, if ya don’t wanna hang with me, I’ll be fine.”
“There’s nothing I’d rather do than spend time with you.” The response skimmed off his tongue as easily as water.
What the hell was in that Coke? Truth serum?
They both stopped walking. Her head snapped around, gaze searching his face. He smiled and shrugged. It was too late to put the words back. She could do with them whatever she wanted. Maybe she would dump him and run.
Please stay.
He held his breath, waiting.
Lory dropped her chin, hiding her face from him.
Fuck. This was a bad idea. His mouth went dry as his gut hollowed out.
Looking up through her lashes, she asked, “What would you like to do first?”
He exhaled with a force, wanting to gather her in his arms, but he was frozen in shock. It took his brain way too long to form an answer. “Rides first. Then food. Then midway.”
She smiled, her dimple making an appearance. “It’s the most logical order.”
“I think so. I don’t wanna be riding the Mega Drop with a belly full of food while carrying a giant unicorn.”
“Exactly.” She laughed. “Can you guarantee an oversized stuffed toy?”
“I never miss a shot.”
“Let’s do this.” She hooked her hand on his elbow, leading him forward.
It was official. Sophia was his favorite sister.
Screamer
Lorelei
She hadn’t had so much fun in what seemed like forever. Life had become an endless loop of rising with the sun, doing her chores, caring for everybody else but herself, and then going to bed. When was it her turn to live a little?
Now. Now it was her turn. What she was starting to realize was that now had always been the answer. Every day presented at least one moment where she could find something to treasure just for her.
She sounded like a banshee as the roller-coaster took another plunge before twisting into a loop. Gripping the rail for dear life, exhilaration collided with pure joy to split her face in a wide smile. The coaster pulled to a sudden stop, creeping forward the last few feet to let the passengers off.
She turned to find Toni grinning at her. “You’re a screamer.”
Her face was probably already pink from the ride. Enough to hide her responding blush. “I can’t help it. There’s something wrong with people who don’t scream when they’re hurtling through space, strapped down by a metal bar.”
“What are you tryna say?” He hopped out before spinning around to help her.
“You’re not normal.” Her tiny hand rested in his. She didn’t pull away after regaining her feet. It was too good. Sturdy. Warm.
“What is normal, anyways?” He didn’t release his hold, either.
That one move spoke of possibilities. She quashed the spark of hope flickering to life. This was Toni. He was her friend.
“It’s something the media made up to keep us all feeling inadequate,” She quipped.
“Ooh, are we talkin’ conspiracy theories?” He bumped her with his shoulder.
“I’m open if you are.” She shrugged.
Could I be open to taking a leap of faith?
Flashing lights illuminated his face like the indicator on a car. Maybe they were taking a change in direction. Maybe the line between friend/neighbor and something more was getting a little blurred. As she heard the rollercoaster take a dive, dragging screams from its riders’ lungs she kinda felt like she was still strapped in that seat.
What if they did start something?
If their lives collided and their potential unleashed, would it be enough to obliterate any obstacles in their way?
She had no idea. But maybe she couldn’t let go of the cowboy next door that easily.
“Do aliens exist?” he asked.
She almost laughed. Not at his question, but at the realization he could be just as weird as she was. “It’s a big universe. I think it’d be pretty incredible if they didn’t.”
He waved a hand at the sky. “What if there are multiple universes?”
“Sure.
Why not?” She winked.
He tossed an arm over her shoulders. “You’re a glass-half-full kinda gal.”
She had to inhale to steady her rioting heart, cinnamon and sugar-coated air saturating her lungs. The blaring music, strobing lights, bustle and rabble of the crowd all faded to a din as her focus pinpointed everywhere they touched. “Just trying to see all angles.”
“I wish I could be more like you.” Regret edged his tone.
“Why? What’s so bad about being you?”
His lips drew tight as he pushed air through his nostrils. “I’ve always been second best, I guess.”
Surprise lifted her brows. How could he honestly believe that when he was the one his parents relied on the most? They knew he was the dependable one because the farm was more than just a job to him. “You’ve got middle-child syndrome.”
“Is that so?” He eyed her side-on.
“Yeah. Do you remember when we were down at the river, and you caught the biggest fish, but Grey caught the most?”
“Yeah,” he almost snarled.
“Your mama was so proud of both of you. She cooked a big dinner and said something about us having enough to go around. Your face dropped. You thought she was making a big deal of your brother catching more than you.”
“Wasn’t she?” He slowed his pace.
“Not at all. The complement was directed towards the biggest catch of the day. She was looking at you, but you were too busy scowling at your plate.” And Grey had rolled his eyes like he didn’t give a shit. She remembered it, plain as day.
Toni pressed his lips together, staring at his feet as they walked through the crowds.
Oh, crap. He’d gone quiet. “I’ve upset you.”
“You’ve got me re-evaluating my entire childhood.”
Wow. “Seriously?” She hoped that was a good thing.
“Mm-hmm.”
Searching his face, she saw the boy he once was. A tender protectiveness welled behind her sternum. “You always were the deepest thinker.”
“That doesn’t sound like a compliment.” He smirked.
“It is. It means you care. You have compassion. You don’t jump into things easily.” She’d always believed that the woman who got to share a life with him would be incredibly lucky. And as the thought resurfaced, this time it came with a pang of jealousy. Crap.
“Neither do you.” He stopped in front of the giant wheel, his arm retreating from her shoulders so he could twine his fingers with hers. “Wanna see the universe?”
Lory flashed her teeth. “Which one?”
“Very funny.” Tugging on her hand, he led her to the end of the queue.
The wheel turned slowly, each of its spokes decorated in lights. Ahead of them, the line-up consisted mostly of loved-up pairs. She supposed they would look like a couple to anyone who didn’t know them. She’d stood there with Greyson once or twice over the years. This time it felt new. Exciting. And, if she thought about it too much, wrong. Toni is Grey’s brother, for Christ’s sake. What am I doing?
A squeeze of his grip had her lifting her chin.
“Where’d ya go?” Brows pinched together; his steel-colored eyes trained on hers.
“Nowhere. It’s just a bit strange. Being here with you.”
“Do you want to leave?” His tone was gruff.
“No.” The word spilled out before she could think. Guilty as she was, she didn’t want the night to end.
Toni scanned the crowd. “It’s okay to enjoy yourself without him, you know?”
“I know.” Logically, she knew. But loyalty was a hard thing to break. Even when the intended recipient was undeserving.
He dropped her hand, his own retreating into his pockets. “I don’t expect anything from you. I just want you to have a good time.”
“I am having fun.” Too much. It’s too easy with you, Antonio.
He showed their ride passes at the ticket booth before they were ushered into a gondola, each of them taking opposing sides. The wheel inched around to let each group on, swinging Lory and Toni every time. They avoided eye contact through the painfully slow process. Cheesy carnival music serenaded their awkward exchange. The distant screams of adrenaline junkies sliced through the air. Lory shivered as a cool breeze curled around her body.
Toni switched his position to sit beside her, placing his arm around her back. “I like seeing the people from up here. It reminds me how small we really are. Puts things into perspective.”
She snuggled into his side. Purely for his warmth. Liar. She wanted to be closer to him. God, he felt so good. “See? Deep thinker.”
“I’d rather be a deep thinker than a screamer.”
“Hey!” She tried to sit forward, but he pulled her into his chest, and kissed the top of her head.
Tingles flooded her body as her heart kicked. “Did you just—”
“Do you think a screamer could ever love a deep thinker?” His mouth was so close to her ear, she heard him loud and clear.
Lory’s tongue went dry. Straightening her spine, she eyed him over her shoulder. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
He met her stare with apparent calm, although the jump of his Adam’s apple gave him away. “All my life.”
Her jaw dropped.
What?
Everything she thought she knew was wiped from her brain cells and rearranged in an instant. The fishing trip she’d referred to—he’d caught less than Grey because he’d been showing her how to bait the hook. Every fish she’d caught, Toni had unhooked it for her because she didn’t want to get her shirt messy.
Two years later, she’d crashed her bike, scraping her knee. The only way to get home had been to sling her arms over the Agrioli boys’ shoulders, and hobble while Clay pushed her crippled bike. Once they’d delivered her, Greyson and Clay took off to get the abandoned bikes, while Toni held her hand as her mama dressed her wounds.
Oh, my God.
He’d taken her to homecoming because Grey had injured himself while mending the fence.
Oh. My. God.
Why hadn’t she seen it?
_____
Antonio
You are such a dick. Christ. He’d kept it in for twenty-four years. Why couldn’t he have waited a bit longer? She was still getting over the break-up. And what made him think he even had a shot? Why would she want anything to do with her ex’s brother?
Fucking idiot!
Now, they were stuck several yards up on a carnival ride, looking everywhere but at each other. He slid his arm from behind her, removing his jacket and placing it over her shoulders. Embarrassment had him hauling himself into his original seat. Toni didn’t know what was worse: facing her or having her body pressed against his side. Either way, he regretted the loss of connection between them.
She crossed her arms, clasping each side of his jacket to pull it closed around her. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to make things weird. I’m trying to process the bombshell you just dropped.”
“I get it. I’m the one that made it awkward.”
It took two more goddamn revolutions before they were finally free. “I’ll walk you back.” Anton grimaced.
“But you still owe me a stuffed toy. And I’m hungry.” She attempted to hand him his jacket.
He blinked at the thing. Why did it hurt so much that she wanted to give it back? A return of unwanted goods. Just like she’d rejected his love. “Keep it.” I couldn’t take it if I tried.
Her arm dropped to her side, the jacket hanging limp from her clasped hand. He turned away, forcing his feet not to run, but to walk.
He’d traveled several yards before she caught up, slipping her hand into his, and wearing his jacket. “Thanks for letting me know how you feel.”
He laughed without humor. “No problem.”
What else was he going to say? You’re welcome. I’m here to stroke your ego anytime, no need to return the favor. At your service. Would you like me to be your doormat too?
Love lik
e this couldn’t be undone. She could walk all over him, and he’d still fucking adore her.
But he wasn’t gonna let her do that. Because any kind of relationship was nothing without respect. He’d effectively ruined their friendship. There was no being ‘just friends’ with someone whom you loved to the depths of your soul. Not after baring your vulnerable truth.
He loosened her grip and pulled out his phone to call Sophia. “Hey. Get dressed. Lory’s hungry. You need to make good on your promise.”
“What happened?” Sophia questioned.
“Just hurry up. Meet us near the Biscuit Booth.” He punched the end button.
“You’re leaving?” Lory blinked up at him, hurt darkening her pretty, blue eyes.
“I can’t—” Forcing air out through his nostrils, he dropped his gaze to the ground and stowed his cell. “I can’t pretend that I don’t feel the way I do.” He scrubbed a hand over his hair. “Just like you couldn’t fake how you felt about Grey.”
She winced and turned away.
“You of all people should understand. I’m sorry.” Mentioning Grey was a dick move.
And yet, you did it anyway.
“I get it.” She gritted out. “Go. You don’t need to stay with me. I’ll be fine.”
Fuuuck. Now he wanted to kick himself. “I’ll wait.”
“Please don’t.”
He nodded.
Fair enough.
Missed the Boat
Antonio
He drove home, pulling the trailer with the cattle behind him, and with a giant stuffed unicorn sitting in the passenger seat. A promise was a promise. It was his final goodbye.
Letting go was the only option.
Why do people play it so fucking cool with each other?
The answer was cowardly, but true.
Because egos are fragile things.
Hiding genuine feelings until the situation was down to the wire, and it was all or nothing, was a program humanity had on repeat. The strength to fess up was often only available when certainty was guaranteed. Either that, or you got to the point where you didn’t give a shit about losing anymore, like Anton had. He’d just wanted to crack open his chest and spill out all the pent-up pressure. And if he’d been left spent… so be it.