by J. M. Adele
Had she always run to Greyson?
He would probably disagree. In truth, he’d sorted out the logistics of her problems and not wanted to delve into the emotional side. While Toni had been supportive in every way. She might’ve always run to Greyson, knowing that Toni was always two steps away ready to catch her before she fell. And that was why, as she’d gotten older, she’d kept Toni at a safe distance. He was a risk her heart couldn’t take. Until now.
But somehow, she didn’t think he’d had becoming a parent in mind.
Well, if anything, she’d get her closure with Greyson. He was going to be the uncle to their baby after all.
When she finally arrived, the house was in darkness. He works in a restaurant. Why would he be here? Not everybody stayed home with their families at Christmas. Plenty didn’t even celebrate the holiday. She had a long wait ahead.
She’d already waited hours to get a flight. What was a few extra?
Brownstones lined each side of the street. Trees were dotted along the pavement, caged in wrought iron. Here, nature was corralled and controlled. Pruned to fit into human ideals of conformity to beauty. She preferred the wild open. She never could have fitted in. On some level, Grey must have known that.
Huddled on the stoop, she rested her chin on her knees, and raised her hood over her head. Fatigue infiltrated her flesh. She was unable to keep it at bay any longer. Her eyelids drooped. The streetscape blurred like a painting by Monet. Occasionally a passing car would draw her mind out of the haze.
What seemed like hours later, headlights washed across the snow-encrusted ground. She lifted her head, squinting against the intrusion. Recognizing Greyson’s truck, she pulled her stiff body to a stand.
He got out and approached her. “Lory? For Christ’s sake, you’ll catch your death. Come here.”
Picking her up in a bear hug, he put her in his truck and covered her with a blanket. Heated air blasted from the vents coaxing her towards it.
“What are you doing here?” He pushed a button on a clicker and the garage door began to open.
“Merry Christmas to you too, Grey.” She didn’t realize how cold she’d been until she spoke, and her teeth clacked together.
“Sorry, topolina. Merry Christmas. How long have you been sitting there? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? Why aren’t you home with your family?” He parked the car but left the engine running.
She used to love it when he called her little mouse. The endearment didn’t have the same effect on her now. He looked the same. Long, dark hair. His face so much like his brother’s. There was something in his eyes though. A flicker of light she’d never seen.
There was one major difference. For all the times she’d sat in that very seat next to him, this was the first time he didn’t give her butterflies. The dynamic between them was calmer. More balanced.
The way it should have been all along.
She checked her phone, ignoring the notifications lined up on the screen. “An hour or so. I wanted to see you.”
“Is everything okay?”
Lord help me. I’ve screwed up. She pushed her hood off her head. “Oh, yeah. It’s fine. Fine.”
“Uh-huh. Totally convincing. Let’s get into the warm house, and you can tell me what’s going on.” He led her through the house to the living area upstairs. Wow. The place was lush. Designer everything. What it lacked was character. Color. Life.
She placed her bag on a chair by the fireplace and discarded her phone on the coffee table. It was nearly midnight in Boston and she had three missed calls from Toni, two from Clay, and more from her mama.
“The bathroom is through there. I’ll light the fire and make us some hot chocolate. We’ve got Christmas pudding somewhere too. Would you like a slice?”
The mere thought of the rich foods had nausea punching her insides. She fixated on the bathroom door as she spoke. “Could I just have some tea and crackers? I don’t know if I can stomach anything heavy at the moment.”
“Yeah, sure. We should have some tea.”
She heard a question in his voice, but she was already busting through the door.
She made sure to clip the lock before kneeling in front of the toilet. She tossed off her coat. Sweat beaded on her brow. If she’d been freezing before, she was boiling now. Her breath sawed in and out. Naming it ‘morning’ sickness was someone’s cruel joke. This baby had hijacked her body and her life. For all her initial denial and resistance, she’d come to a place where she gave in willingly. She was going to be a mama. She’d done enough research in the last week to figure out she was about two months along. That meant it had happened on the night after the fair. Their first time.
Her stomach heaved and she coughed up the water she’d drunk at the airport. She retched until there was nothing left and then she retched some more.
There was a tap on the door. “Lory? Are you okay in there?”
“Be—” Her stomach attempted another evac. “Be there in a minute.”
“Are you sick?”
Kinda. The door handle jiggled.
Oh, Jesus, Grey. Do not open that door.
Thankfully, his footsteps retreated, and her stomach finally settled. She flushed, washed her hands and face, and headed for a seat beside the fire. Grey was in the kitchen. Two steaming mugs sat on the counter.
“Sorry. It’s been a long day. I guess it all caught up to me.” I have to tell him.
“That’s okay. You had me worried.” He made his way over with their drinks. A plate of crackers already sat on the sofa across from her.
She tugged on her sweater, wondering if he noticed how loose it was compared to the last time he’d seen her wear it. “Thanks.” She took the cup from him.
“Do I need to ask again?”
“I’m pregnant.” Ta da.
“You’re what?”
You heard correctly. “Preg. Nant.”
The way his surprise mirrored his brother’s was darkly comical. It was like going through the whole thing again. She would have laughed if she had the energy. Except Toni’s surprise had rapidly morphed into sheer terror. The chill returned, and she curled her hands around the warm beverage, blowing the steam.
Grey seemed confused; grooves etched between his brows.
And then his eyes narrowed. His fists clenched before he shot to his feet. “I’m gonna kill him.”
Who does he think the father is? “Kill who, Grey? Sit down. It’s midnight on Christmas Day.”
He always did have a quick temper. Toni’s was more of a simmer than a flare.
“Jake Johnson. That sonofabitch.”
She almost laughed. What was it with Jake and the Agrioli men? He’d never held any appeal for her. “It’s not his.”
Grey seemed to deflate, falling onto the sofa. “Who, then?”
She stared into her mug, not wanting to see his face when she dropped this particular nugget of info. “Toni. Toni is the father.”
“Toni? As in, Antonio? My brother, Antonio?”
Her eyes flicked to his briefly before detouring to the flickering flames.
“I told him to look after you, not climb on top of you. Holy hell.” He performed the same move his brother had done when she’d told him the news—cradled his head and dragged his hands down his neck like he wanted to pull the skin from his flesh. She stiffened as the déjà vu gripped her by the throat.
“Does anyone else know?”
She pulled in a breath before answering with a smirk. “Toni knows.”
“How did he take the news?”
“The same way you did, but with shorter hair.”
His hands bounced on his thighs as he dropped them. “Sorry. It’s a shock. He can’t have been too surprised. He was there when it happened.”
You’re kidding, right? He said it as if he thought they’d planned this. And even if they had, was anyone not bewildered at the reality of facing a complete life one eighty? But Toni had been more than astonished. He’d been horri
fied.
She cleared her throat. “I was on the pill. We were careful.” Her grip on the cup tightened as memories of that night came rushing back. They’d been phenomenal together. Apart from the condom, there’d been nothing careful about it. Instinctual, primal, carnal. . . not careful. This baby had been made with love.
“So, it was an accident?” His eyebrows raised.
She remembered watching the second line appear on the pregnancy test. Accident sounded so wrong. “Neither of us thought it would actually happen.”
“Well, it has. So, what’s he gonna do about it?”
Her eyes narrowed. Jesus. Like the baby was a problem to be solved? Toni’s problem. “What do you mean, ‘what’s he gonna do about it?’ I’m the pregnant one—not him.”
“He might not be carrying the bun, but he’s responsible for putting it there, and he damn well better look after you while it bakes. I can’t believe he let you travel in your state. Have you been eating at all? Your family must’ve noticed.”
The machine gun delivery of judgements and questions ticked her off. “I’ve been busy elsewhere at mealtimes. Toni doesn’t know I’m here.”
“You just took off?” Grey crossed his arms.
Well, now she had an attack of the guilts. “Kinda, yeah. I told Clay I was coming to surprise you. Toni probably knows by now.” She could only imagine how he might be handling the situation. Maybe he’d recovered from the jolt and he was ready to talk? Maybe she’d ring him in the morning?
Why did I run away?
On the coffee table, her phone lit up with Antonio’s number.
“It’s him,” she croaked, eyes flooding with tears.
I can’t.
“I’ll handle it. You drink your tea. There’s a spare room—second door on the left up the stairs. Help yourself. It’s late.”
Maybe it was cowardly, but she grabbed her drink like it was her safety blanket and hotfooted it up the stairs. Not quick enough to miss Grey’s greeting for his brother, though.
“What the fuck have you done?”
Nice, Grey.
She clicked the door closed, kicked off her boots, and got under the warm bed covers.
Antonio hadn’t been the only one involved. It took two to create a life.
Wasn’t that the crux of the problem?
It takes two to make a life together.
Was she going to have to raise this child on her own?
_____
She tiptoed downstairs the next morning, not wanting to wake anyone. It was barely six, but her bladder and her stomach woke her up, both wanting to empty their contents. If she could find where they kept the crackers, she’d be okay.
“Mornin’.” Grey’s voice cut through the quiet.
“Shit!” Startled, she grabbed for the banister.
“Sorry.” He grinned. “I heard you get up. Did you sleep well?”
“A bit.” She made her way into the kitchen, noting that he’d lit the fire.
“Do you want crackers?”
“Yes, please.”
He pushed a plate across the stone benchtop. “How about some tea to go with them?”
Taking a seat on one of the stools at the island bench, she reached for the food. “Actually, do you have juice?”
“Cranberry.”
“That’ll do. Thanks.” She nibbled on a cracker, appreciating its bland taste. “Was Toni okay?”
“He was ready to come and get you.”
“What?” The half-eaten snack dangled from her fingers.
“Don’t worry; he’s not comin’.”
“I’ve gotta go back, anyways. It was stupid of me to run.”
He leaned on his elbows, meeting her stare. “I’m glad you came. But I’m surprised you chose to come here.”
“I wasn’t thinking.”
Grey winced, pushing back to stand and gripping the edge of the bench. “Ouch. I deserved that. And I never said how sorry I was. I shouldn’t have run out on ya like that.”
“You hurt me.” The remnants of the pain niggled behind her sternum before fading away.
It was funny; she’d spent weeks going over and over so many questions in her mind. If she’d had the chance to confront him, she would’ve unleashed them all one by one.
What could she have done to make him stay?
Why wasn’t she good enough?
Why didn’t he ask her to go with him?
What mistakes had she made?
The answers were all so clear to her now, she didn’t need to ask.
She was worthy. She hadn’t done anything wrong. There was nothing she could’ve said to make him stay, because nobody could make anyone love them. Her and Greyson weren’t meant to be.
It didn’t hurt anymore. She was so thankful she didn’t get what she thought she wanted.
“You had to. I see that now. You set me free to find a greater love.”
Even if things didn’t work out with Toni, she deserved a deep, messy kind of love that consumed her whole and nourished her soul. “We would have been happy enough, but there was something missing. It would have festered into resentment eventually. And I wouldn’t want that for us. I care about you. A lot. I still love you. As my friend. As family.” The words spilled like a release. A final snapping of a cord that had frayed over time.
He dropped his gaze. “You are so much better than me. I never deserved you. I am sorry.”
“It’s okay. Time to leave it in the past.” She reached across the counter, clasping his hand in hers. “What about you? Is there anyone special?”
“Would you be angry if I said yes?” He watched her through his lashes.
She barked out a laugh. “I’m pregnant with your brother’s child. I think it’s safe to say I have no right to be upset if you’ve moved on.”
His eyes widened as if something had just occurred to him. “I’m gonna be an uncle.”
Lory’s face split in a toothy smile. “Yup.”
And I’m gonna be a mama.
“So, what’s her name?”
“Chelsea,” his voice caressed the word with adoration.
It was good to see him happy.
“Tell me all about her.”
Merry Christmas
Antonio
“Thanks for giving me a lift to the airport.” Anton adjusted his seatbelt. He figured Clay would have questions that he wasn’t ready to answer. Fuck it. Lory had left her car in Jackson, and Anton didn’t want her driving all the way back on her own. Plus, he wanted to see her the minute she set foot on Mississippi soil. So he needed Clay’s help.
“No problem. You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Nope. But you’re gonna find out anyways. “Lory and I have been dating for a few months.”
Clay’s jaw stretched. “It’s nice to finally be told the truth.”
So, they had been found out. “I wanted us on solid ground before everyone could put their opinions in the pot.”
“I get it.” He nodded once. “It’s a little soon, don’t you think? And with you being the ex’s brother, it’s kinda hard to wrap my head around it.”
“I’ve waited decades for her.” If he was going to spill the truth, he was gonna let out the whole shebang.
Clay’s eyes bulged. “Whoa! What?”
“And she finally sees me as more than a friend.”
“Shut the farmhouse door!” His mouth gaped as he stared at the road ahead. “Why’d she run off to him, then?”
“I wish I knew. My guess is that she’s scared shitless of becoming a mother.”
“Huh?” His head whipped sideways.
Oh good, you are paying attention. “She’s pregnant.”
“What the fuck?” he roared. The wheel wobbled before he regained control. “Jesus, you tell me this while I’m going sixty-five on the highway. I oughta pull over and deck you.”
Go for it. I deserve it. “Do what you want. Just get me there on time. I don’t want her waiting.”
Clay
’s head swiveled back and forth between the road and Antonio. “You really love her, don’t ya?”
More than I thought was possible. “I have for decades.”
“Well, shit.” He slapped a hand on his thigh. “Why did you hide it?”
Anton shrugged. “She was with Grey. What could I do?”
“Man, that must’ve killed you.”
Anton focused ahead, not wanting to drag that agony out of storage. Not until he saw her.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t wanna go there either. This is why I ain’t lookin’ for love. All it brings is pain.”
“The pain is worth it.”
“You can believe that all you want, but I ain’t buyin’ it.” Clay flicked on his blinker to pass a minivan.
Poor, naïve shmuck. “Yeah, good luck with that, Clay. You can run, but you can’t hide. If it finds you, you got no choice but to succumb.”
“Sounds like a goddamn disease.”
In a way, it was. It had altered him forever. The only cure was to nurture it and let it take over.
“I guess congrats are in order, brother.” Clay bumped fists with Anton.
“Thanks.” He nodded, smiling.
“I won’t stick around when we get there. I don’t wanna see all that mushy shit. You guys have stuff to sort out, and I’ve got leftover turducken to eat. You okay with that?”
“I appreciate it.”
_____
He waited in the arrivals hall at Jackson Evers International, keeping an eye on the gate where she’d be disembarking. Greyson had finally done something right and texted Anton her flight number after seeing her safely to the airport.
He saw her hair first. She had it tied in a high ponytail. Her bloodshot eyes and slow gait cooled his anger. She trudged along like she had nothing left in the tank. His protective instincts kicked in. He thought about gathering her in his arms and carrying her to the car. Maybe she wouldn’t appreciate him making a scene. He didn’t particularly give a shit what anyone else thought.
With her eyes down, she didn’t see him until he blocked her path. She pulled up short. “What are you doing here?”
“Picking you up.” He fought the craving to hold her.