“Unless?” I repeated the final word he had delivered, hoping it would inspire a conclusion to the train of thought that had so cruelly taken his focus from me.
Satan might be able to read my thoughts, but I did not possess the same ability, and stretched out here, I was increasingly confused and frustrated by my predicament.
“Unless it is shame you seek? Unless you need it?”
My brows knitted. Why would I seek the shame that stirred so much mortified discomfort? Why would that be a necessity?
“Why indeed,” he answered, though I had not vocalized the query. “Yet, it is just possible that is the trigger you need to plummet into ecstasy. I witnessed your thoughts earlier, and it was not until the ignominy ratcheted up that you finally gave in to the growing well of pleasure.” He paused, that provocative brow rising once more. “Yes, I see things more clearly now. It was the shame you felt that toppled you.”
My breath caught at his conclusion, protests to the contrary bubbling in my mind, but I couldn’t speak them, couldn’t place any fervor on their cause, because deep down I suspected Satan was right. I had always had to submerge myself into that humiliated headspace to garner any satisfaction with my own hand, and it was possible it had been the dishonor of ceding my virginity to Damon that made the whole liaison so erotic. Its illicit nature the real source of my passion.
“Do not worry about it.”
The gravelly authority in Satan’s tone drew me back to the present, his cock straining at my hip to be free, and meeting his gaze again, I decided he was right. I could not unlock the secrets of my desire in one sitting, and as yet, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to. This well of need he had created was still new to me, and thinking through the rights and wrongs of every moment did little to satiate. It was time to give him what he wanted—what we both sought—and when those dark eyes widened perceptibly, I knew he had heard the thought.
“What do you need, little Guardian?”
He was goading me then, teasing and provoking me into saying the words out loud. Briefly, I recognized the additional disgrace in having to do so, and I wondered if that was his impetus, but once again, I swept the analysis aside. The time for evaluation was after the event. This was the time for carnal indulgence, and gazing into his brooding eyes, there was little doubt, I wanted to indulge.
“You.” I smiled at the breathy woman who answered him. “Master.”
He winked at my deference, but now the gesture only thrilled me further, my hips rising to taunt the hard length I knew was waiting for me. Damon had taught me enough about my animal instincts to know what I wanted and where I needed it. I had little doubt Satan would not let me down in either department.
“Never,” he breathed, “I will never let you down, Cathy.”
At that moment, even though his body never even moved, I felt the tip of his cock brush at my inner thigh. It made no sense, of course. I knew he was wearing the same tight, dark leather he’d lured me with right from the start, and with both of his hands pressed into the satin at my face, I also knew he hadn’t unfastened the clothing to free his equipment, yet this was Satan, master of all dark and salacious things. If he wanted to free his cock, it seemed he didn’t need to concern himself with the laws of physics, and now that his erection was free, it strained at my entrance, pushing just an inch inside, enough to coerce my body into an arch. Enough to force my labored breaths into another pant.
“Oh, fuck.” It was much easier to dismiss the thought of the deity that offended Satan so badly now he had me. Now our bodies fused in the frenzy of passion we ignited together. “Yes, do it. Fuck me. Fuck me hard.”
Wordlessly, one of his hands shifted to the side of my face, stroking my skin in an almost tender way, and I swallowed hard at the way his gaze pierced me.
“You should be careful what you wish for, little one.” His voice was a seductive purr now, its resonance vibrating over me like music. “No one fucks like me.”
His mouth lowered to mine, the lips I had craved for too long gliding over mine just as his hips plunged his cock inside me. My mouth parted as he impaled me, drawing a gasp of air, not in complaint, but in awe. Satan was huge as he possessed me, bigger than even Damon, who had seemed enormous to the virgin he claimed, but his pace was slow as he speared me, his tongue mirroring the same action in my mouth.
That sealed it, then. That one precious moment of blissful unity, his body claiming what it wanted as badly as I surrendered it.
There was no way I could come back from this. A beast he was—the greatest evil of all time—but he morphed the hot shame of that knowledge into unadulterated hunger, a lust for him I could never hope to control. There was no making sense of it. Whichever way I looked, I was bound to lose. He had me, and I couldn’t even think to protest because I was exactly where I wanted to be.
Where I needed to be.
In his bed.
In his arms.
Impaled by the power of his glower, every inch as much as his hard length.
“Hard, you say?” He pulled away from the kiss, regarding me wryly. “I had thought to be gentle for my first time with the mortal who had so captured my attention.”
Pulling in a deep breath, I sucked at my lower lip. “Gentle is good,” I moaned, aware of the way my hips were rocking backward and forward, frantically trying to take in more of him, fucking him back.
He grinned with glee at my performance. “My little mortal is more desperate than I had foreseen,” he mumbled into the side of my neck. “Perhaps, you are correct. Perhaps this first time, I should fuck you into a frenzy and save the lingering passion for another coupling.”
His words were barely even registering. When he lifted his head, I saw his lips moving and heard the sounds leaving them, but my brain could no longer join up the dots. There was only the sense of completion as he filled me, the satiation of a thousand lonely nights and a million shards of hot need left unsatisfied for too many years, melding together as our passions collided. Whatever I’d expected—whatever my hopes about our union—I had never contemplated this. He felt so right inside me, as though I had been made for the purpose, designed as a vessel for his cock, just waiting for this, the right moment for him to make me whole.
“Cathy.”
My eyes opened at the sound of my name, even though I hadn’t been aware they had fluttered closed at all, his dark expression capturing me in a heartbeat.
“Which is it be, little mortal?”
“Whatever you want, Master.”
Wait, what—was that me being so submissive and flexible? I always had an opinion on everything. It was, as Sevvy had always told me, one of my greatest character flaws, yet now at this, the most critical of junctures, all I wanted to do was cede—to give up control—to make him take control.
“As you wish.” He smiled before his mouth crashed into mine again, and all conscious thought was lost to the rhythm of his hips, the exquisite possession of my body, and the overawing sense that this was the beginning of something.
A new chapter of my life, I was bound to act out.
A destiny I just couldn’t walk away from.
Chapter Sixteen
Satan
How many mortals had I garnered carnal knowledge of over the course of millennia? There had been so many men and so many women, I could scarcely recall any of their faces, yet staring into Cathy’s now, they all seemed futile, and whatever fleeting passion we had shared, pointless. She eclipsed them all with her breathy whimpers and her snug little cunt, and even though I always had a sense, there was something special about the Guardian, even I had not seen this coming.
In the end, I had chosen to fuck her slowly, the intensity even stronger as I held back, plunging deep inside her until I provoked the groan I desired, grinding into her over and over again. There was a fire burning in her blue eyes as I possessed her, her mind finally quiet when I took control. It was what she wanted, of course, I was not a fool, I had read that much in her thoughts
, yet still, I had not minded giving her what she most yearned for.
I wanted her to be replete, for our union to offer the consolation no man had ever granted her.
I wanted to rock her world.
Coddling her after I had detonated, I searched her thoughts, but there was little conscious activity. More, once I’d removed the clamps and consoled her, she had rested in a half slumber, clinging to me as though an evil as great as I could ultimately bring her anything but desolation.
“That was amazing.” She rolled closer, her eyes flickering open to find my grin. Powerful I undoubtedly was, but it was still nice to receive a compliment on occasion. “Thank you. Master.”
She paused, tripping over the final word, but she forced it out in the end, her cheeks flaming with the safety blanket of her embarrassment that she continuously grasped for.
“You are amazing,” I corrected. “The best muse I have known for centuries, but I am glad I brought you pleasure. It is what I want.”
“You want to pleasure me?” Her brow furrowed. “I had assumed you would seek to destroy me, but even if you chose mercy, I hadn’t expected such…” she hesitated, unsure suddenly.
“What?” I demanded, though the word she had chosen was right there for me to read, I wanted it from her own lips.
“Intimacy.” She gazed up at me, her eyes wide as if she could not believe she had admitted such a thing—to me of all creatures!
“You assume because I live in darkness, I do not know of such things?” I could not decide if I was offended by the assertion or not.
“No, I just…” she paused again, blue eyes burning into me. “I didn’t expect it. You surprised me.”
“Oh, I am glad.” It wasn’t just amused sarcasm, either. I liked surprising the little mortal, keeping her on her toes, her head spinning, but more than that, I found I liked seeing her happy. Her company was more pleasant than I had imagined it would be. “Perhaps I am showing you there is more to demons than just death and destruction.”
“Yes.” Her voice was quiet, her thoughts drifting at my words, morphing from her contented state to more profound considerations. She assessed her feelings in silence, presumably not ready to communicate them, even though she was aware I was able to read them, regardless. I listened on, holding her close as the concerns slipped through her mind.
What did this mean?
How could a monster show such tenderness, and why did I want him to hold me so badly?
“Not the demonic possession you expected then?” I asked wryly after hearing her frantic thoughts for a few minutes.
Her lips twitched at my question. “Not even close,” she admitted. “I feared pain and suffering. I thought I would lose my desire to live, but being with you isn’t like that…” Her voice trailed away, and I gestured for her to go on.
“What is it like?”
I relished this new side of Cathy, the part willing to talk, the gentler aspect that wanted to be comforted like a woman rather than fight and protest like a warrior. I was loathed to admit it, but I had missed this type of contact with a mortal. It had been decades since I had last enjoyed it, and seeing several of my kin tether mortal souls to them recently, had only increased my sense of isolation. Then along came Cathy, the feisty little Guardian who had stirred such concern among demonic ranks. I smiled, my gaze running down her toned body. Who knew such a diminutive figure of a woman could inspire such angst in the dark realm? Yet there she was, an irritant so strong I had dispatched myself to deal with her. There was a certain ironic twist about that fate. Had I not been so compelled to manage the Guardian problem, I would never have made the acquaintance of the fascinating blonde, and I would never have been sprawled here with her, limbs entwined as we pondered the lust we had made.
“It’s like a dream.” She swallowed, her brow creasing. “Not the nightmare I had half expected when you came to infest my life, but something else.” Shifting up onto her elbow, she reached for the stubble at my face. “Is this real?”
“What?” The touch of her fingertips stirred my recently satiated loins again, distracting me from some of the mental images burgeoning in her head. “Is what real?”
“This.” She pressed herself against me, her breath hot at my jaw. “This connection between us.”
Her eyes closed then, her thoughts commanding her lips to halt. What am I thinking, divulging this to him? She admonished herself. He’s Satan, for goodness sake, architect of all evil. Surely, whatever this feeling is, he has inspired it. It’s another way to lull me, another way to—
“It is not, Cathy,” I interrupted her internal monologue. “The emotions you describe have not been conjured to placate you.”
She blinked at me, those adorable cheeks burning even brighter. “You’re reading my thoughts again?”
“Yes.” There was little point in denying a capability that was common among all higher-ranking demons. “And I want to reassure you, whatever you think, your feelings are not contrived.”
“You feel it too, then?” There was disbelief in her tone, though I noticed the way her heart raced as she asked. “This thing, this chemistry?”
She was practically on top of me, her body flush against mine as she pushed me to my back and probed me for information. Naturally, she only garnered the advantage because I chose to allow it, but still, it was captivating to see her, face flushed and eyes bright, pursuing me for evidence of her fabled feelings.
I smiled at her eager, insistent expression, willing her body to straddle my thighs while I settled, hands behind my head, regarding her. She truly was beautiful—of that, there was no doubt—and I understood the rush of sentimentality our passion had roused, but beyond that, could I really speak of a connection?
“Well?” She leaned down, pressing her tiny palms on either side of my head.
“Are you making demands on me, little Guardian?”
She inhaled at my arching brow, nibbling her lower lip. “Maybe, Master.” She smiled at the concession. “It seems I am not so good at this subservience, am I?”
I chuckled at her self-deprecating analysis. “You still have much to learn, yes,” I agreed. “But I maintain you were made for it.”
Her brows knitted. “You’re ignoring my question,” she huffed, dragging her tantalizing nipples across the flesh of my chest. “So, I can only conclude it’s just me, and you don’t feel a thing.” Her expression crumpled fleetingly at the thought, for one second revealing her comparative youth and innocence, and much though it opposed my natural impulse, it tugged at the space where there might have been a heart. Had I been mortal.
“Hush.” I reached for her face, stroking the side of her heated skin softly before I eased her head down to my chest. She resisted at first—as Cathy always seemed to—but yielded before I had to apply any real force, resting one cheek over the empty shell of my heart. “I am here, and I know what we created together.”
She sighed, the tension falling from her shoulders. “Really?”
Who was this needy little human in my arms? She could not be the steely mortal who caught our attention and caused such frantic meetings of my kin, could she? Was it the same woman who had banished hundreds of my kind before me? Who had battled a beast almost as ancient as me, Malium, and succeeded? The contrast in the character of the two mortals was almost eye-watering, but that, I supposed, was the joy of humanity. They were such contradictions, and my instincts told me it was the same woman, regardless of the new veil of tender surrender that appeared to have fallen over her. Inside the purring pussy cat in my arms, the wildcat still lurked, its claws just as sharp, it’s impulses just as tenacious. I would do well not to be fooled by her show of submission. It was well known that sex released chemicals in the mortal mind that altered their mental state, but beneath the façade prowled the defiant opposer of my kind.
“Yes, really.”
Yet still, I could not will the energy to upset the balance between us. I much preferred Cathy in this contented
state, and fucking her had been a delectable pleasure I wanted much more of. Better, she was malleable to my aims. I would need some time to decide how to manage this new situation—take what I wanted before I extinguished her light altogether, or consider something far more avant-garde and the possibility of removing her from this place altogether.
“I didn’t think it could be like this.” Her voice was a soft lulling murmur, further proof of the pussy cat cajoled in my embrace. “The sex, I mean. I didn’t appreciate how loving it could be. It wasn’t like that with Damon.”
“Loving?” My brow rose at her analysis. Loving—was that how I had been?
“Yes,” she shifted in my arms, her head rising to meet my gaze, and in my bewildered state, I permitted the deed. “I’m sorry if that’s not the right word.” She blushed a little harder. “I don’t have too much experience in this department.”
Reaching around her body, I pulled her hips flush with my groin. My cock swelled at the proximity of her cunt, but I willed myself some self-control. There would be time to scratch that little itch soon, plenty of opportunities to indulge, but this was not one of them. This was a chance to better understand the mesmerizing effect she had over me, the irresistible pull that meant I had not been able to cut her down as I had expected, and the insistent voice that persuaded me to keep her. Even though it defied all logic. She was an enemy of my kind—a threat I should have eliminated. So, why was she still breathing, squirming wonderfully over my human guise, bewitching me with her charms?
Then there was the matter of the question she posed. Why had I been loving? Certainly, that had not been the objective when I had decided to spear her, so what the hell had happened? She had asked for it hard and fast, but I had chosen not to comply with the wish. I had wanted it to be slow. I wanted to make it last.
“No, it is fine,” I insisted. “A good enough word to convey your meaning.” I paused, the uncertainty flitting through my mind as unfamiliar as the intimacy she was trying to describe. “I am glad you thought our liaison was like a dream.” Smiling, I reached one hand into her honeyed tresses. “It means you will be more receptive to my further advances.”
Damn Me: A Paranormal Demon Romance (The Demonology Series Book 4) Page 11