On and on I ran, my legs stretching, lungs burning, until I couldn’t run anymore. I decreased the speed and slowed to a walk, clinging onto the handrails as I sucked in each breath like it was my last.
“You were really going for it,” Vaughn said, slowing his machine. He wiped his face with a towel, then dropped it back on the machine.
I lifted my top and used it to swab my brow. When I dropped it, I noticed he was staring at my midriff. He caught my gaze and dropped his eyes, but it was too late. A tingle ran down the length of my spine and spread to my core. Surely it was nothing more than a glance.
He stepped off the treadmill. “Sorry I was late.”
“Everything okay?”
“I slept in after spending the night trying to convince Jake he was an idiot.”
“So you know?” I stepped down.
He nodded. “He told me straight after. I can’t believe what an oaf he’s being. I just don’t get it.”
We moved towards the mats and sparring equipment.
“Me neither. She’s heartbroken. I’m worried about how she’ll be when she wakes up today.”
“I can imagine. Jake said she was really upset.”
“Did he tell you why? I mean, Becca is so confused. She didn’t see it coming at all.”
Vaughn shook his head. “He didn’t say anything. That’s what I don’t get.” He held his arms out.
We reached the mat, and I grabbed the gloves as he grabbed the pads. We fell into stance as if it was as natural as breathing. I circled low, shoulders hunched and arms high. I took a swing and he blocked it, holding the pads steady. I took another swing from the left and he dodged it. I threw myself into a full lunge, jabbing with my right arm, and then took him down with a left-leg side swipe. He hit the mat, and I stared at him with a satisfied smile.
“Do you think she’ll be okay?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. Not for a long time. Your turn.”
I pulled off the gloves while he unloosened the velcro on the pads, then we swapped, ready for the next round. He clashed his fists in front of his chest. It brought my gaze to his well-defined torso, which mesmerised me. I saw his taut chest muscles through his tank. His arms were just as supple, the muscles tight and ready to spring, covered in a fine sheen of perspiration. I could do this all day.
As he lunged, I blocked his punches. We moved around the mat, and I grinned like a loon each time I made him miss. Afterwards, I pulled the door shut to the small room, turned on the shower, then stripped. I stepped under the warm spray and lathered my hair. I could hear Vaughn in the cubicle next door as he showered, too, and realised we were naked just feet apart from each other. My heart raced and heat came to my cheeks. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I had no right to be thinking like that, not only because Vaughn was my friend, but also because Becca was sitting at home, hurting.
I finished my shower and pulled on my new black cropped trousers and a tank. After stuffing my gym clothes back into my bag, I shouldered it and swept the books under my arm. I glanced at myself in the small mirror and noticed that my hair was a mess, so I rifled through my bag to look for a brush but then realised I had forgotten to pack one. Cursing under my breath, I ran my hands through my hair to get the tangles out, then stepped out of the cubicle.
Vaughn was already outside, a small backpack slung over his shoulder. His gaze immediately fell to the bare part of my calves, then travelled up the length of my body and lingered at my face.
“I think that’s the first time I’ve seen your legs, other than when we’re training.” He nodded towards my calves.
I glanced down at my legs.
“You should wear them more.”
Having Vaughn stare at my legs was a pleasant feeling, but I wasn’t sure how to react, so I just stood there and looked dumbfounded as I fidgeted with the books under my arm. I had thought I was a mess, but he was giving me compliments. How was a girl to push him from her mind?
“Come on, I’ll walk you home.”
“No car?”
He shook his head. “No, I left it home today. It’s too nice.”
We left The Agency, our stroll matching the feel of the summer day. I imagined that he was my boyfriend walking me home. Then I shook the image from my mind and glanced at Vaughn. His dazzling blue eyes met mine, and my stomach jolted. I thought about the way he looked at the dance, his shirt neatly pressed and clinging to his barely contained muscles. The way he pulled me against his body as we rocked together on the dance floor. The way that every time I turned around, I caught him looking. Almost as if…no. Vaughn was a friend and nothing more.
“Has Becca tried to talk to Jake?” he asked, breaking the comfortable silence.
I shook my head. “No. I think she’s too hurt.”
“I just don’t know what got into him.” Vaughn shrugged. “Things were fine. He was happy. He told me so himself. And then all of a sudden, this.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever figure boys out.” I shook my head.
“We’re not that much of a mystery, you know.” He grinned.
“No, but you’re hard work.”
“Me?” He put his hands to his chest. “I think I’m a walk in the park.”
“I just mean males in general. Treating someone like you’re in love and then leaving them.”
“Hang on. I don’t think it’s fair to generalise based on one guy or one relationship.”
“Probably not.”
“And we’re not all bad.”
“Maybe I just haven’t met the right one yet. Isn’t that what they say?”
“Or maybe you just haven’t opened your eyes yet.”
“What?” I frowned.
“Nothing.” He shook his head and turned away. “Got any plans for the summer? I forgot how great it is to get time off school.”
I grinned. “I am so ready for this. But I don’t really have anything planned. Training, working if anything comes up, hanging out with Becca. I think I need to start getting myself into gear and figure out what I’m going to do after St. Helen’s.”
“Oh, that.”
“Yeah, that. I still have almost a year until I have to be out, so I’m not too worried. But I don’t want to be thrown in at the deep end when it happens, you know?”
He shook his head. “I still don’t think it’s right. I mean, just throwing you out when you turn eighteen feels really harsh to me.”
“I used to think that, too. When I first moved in, it was like Barbara couldn’t wait to get rid of me, but I knew it was just a preparation tool. I can’t stay at St. Helen’s forever. There are plenty of girls who need that room more than me.”
“Yeah, I guess. Well, the offer still stands. If you can’t find anything, you’re coming to live with us.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” I bit my lip.
Whether I would actually go through with his offer was another thing. It was hard enough as it was now just spending time with him. I imagined living under the same roof as him, and my stomach flipped. I wouldn’t be able to contain myself. I had to find a flat, somewhere to call my own, and I knew Mary would help me out with that.
“Want to go to the cinema?” Vaughn said.
“When?” I asked.
“Sometime next week.” He shrugged.
Sitting in a darkened theatre with Vaughn was a temptation I couldn’t resist.
“That would be nice.” I nodded. “Something to look forward to.”
“Great. Well, here’s home. For now.” He grinned.
I looked up at the old red-brick building. St. Helen’s had been my home for four years now and leaving it behind would be tough. I would miss everything about it. Mary, the cooked breakfasts, the sound of the morning rush on a school day, Barbara, even the attic bathroom. The thought that I would be cast into the world on my own was too much to bear.
“Ruby?”
I came out of my daydream to find that Vaughn was only inches away from me. I sucked in a b
reath to quell my racing heart.
“Sorry. I got lost there for a minute. Thanks for walking me back.”
“Always a pleasure.” He grinned. “See you, Ruby.” His gaze lingered before he turned away.
I watched him walk down the street. Boy, was he all kinds of hot, and man was I in trouble.
I finally forced myself to turn away and enter St. Helen’s.
Chapter Eight
The next few days passed in a blur. The silence of my phone and TAT were reminders of what my life used to always be like. I spent my days mooching around St. Helen’s. Too many late mornings lying in bed until the sun was at its peak. I watched so much TV I thought my brain was going to start leaking out of my ears, and I had been wearing the same pair of pyjamas for three days straight.
On day three of the great wall-in, I was so bored I surrounded myself in books and read about the history of demons. Turns out, it wasn’t as interesting as I’d thought, and the books were hard to get through. It was like reading the old English playwrights.
Demons had been around as long as humans. The war against them had raged in the underworlds of cities and towns, with men fighting them with whatever tools they had. There were personal accounts written by Hunters, and the learning curve for Demon Hunting was short. It became what it is today in the early 1900s. But even now, The Agency was still developing, and I wondered what it might look like in another hundred years. The war would never end. Wherever there are humans, there will be demons and there will be Hunters.
During those three days, Becca barely ventured from our room, and when she did, it wasn’t for long. She had stopped eating. Showering was a distant memory, and even her habit of watching the soaps had gone down the drain. On the fourth day, I brought her up a tray laden with tea and biscuits, and I added some chocolate from my secret stash.
“Becca, I brought you something.”
She eyed the tray from under the covers, and the temptation must’ve been too much, because she propped against the headrest, with the covers pulled up to her armpits. Dark circles were under her eyes, and her face was drawn. I had never seen Becca look like this.
I slid the tray onto her lap.
She grasped the edge of it and offered me a weak smile. “Thanks.”
Her gaze drifted to the tray, and it gave me a little more time to study her. She was already beginning to lose weight, the flesh of her cheeks dwindling so that her cheek bones protruded too much. Her skin was waxy and pallid. And her hair, normally luscious and long, was still piled on top of her head in a top knot that I was sure was coated in grease.
She was a mess, and she didn’t care. That wasn’t the Becca that I knew.
“How you doing?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Okay. I guess.”
“Becca, come on, you’re so far from okay it’s unreal.”
Her eyes glistened as tears sprung. She wiped them, smearing the salty liquid across her cheeks. “You’re right. I’m not okay, but there’s nothing that’ll fix it.” She glanced at her phone as if willing it to ring.
I knew she was so desperate that if Jake was to call, she would take him back like nothing had happened.
“I know it’s not an easy fix, but you can’t stay in bed the rest of your life.”
The corners of her mouth tilted upwards. “I can sure try.”
“You want to do something today? Just you and me, a proper girly day. I’ll even let you take me shopping.”
That got me a smile.
“You’d do that for me?”
“I hate seeing you like this. I would spend a week shopping if it would make you happy.”
She snorted, and for a second, I saw life return to her face, eyes sparkling with excitement, and then it was gone. Her forehead crunched into the perpetual frown she’d been sporting, and her gaze drifted back down to the tray in her lap.
“I’m not in the mood. But thanks.”
“How about watching some movies downstairs? I can go check it out and make sure it’s quiet.”
I knew that was part of the problem. She didn’t want prying eyes seeing her like this, asking questions, shoving pity her way.
She shook her head. “I just want to stay here.” She picked up the cup, pressed it to her lips, and slurped the tea.
I suppressed a sigh. “Becca, I know this is hard, but you can’t stay here forever.”
“Not forever. Just until school starts again.”
My mouth opened and closed. She was stubborn, but I’d never known anything like it. She wouldn’t budge for anything but the bathroom. Some of the girls had started talking about where she was, and of course, there were rumours. All of them involved Jake, and most of them were right.
“I hate him for doing this to me,” she mumbled.
When I met her gaze, I saw a tear trailing down her cheek.
“I mean, he was my everything. I gave him everything. He had my heart, Ruby. I love him. We were perfect together, and he just drops me like it meant absolutely nothing. Sometimes I think about picking up the phone and ringing him just to hear his voice, and the only thing that stops me is not wanting to look like a complete idiot. I won’t grovel for him.”
“You’re so much better than that, Becca. You don’t have to beg for anything or anyone. He’s stupid to have let you go.”
“I keep wondering if it was something I did. I’m wracking my brain, constantly trying to think if I annoyed him or upset him in some way. I’ve even thought that he might be cheating. I mean, it was so sudden, but there were no signs. Nothing.”
“If there’s anything I can say about him it’s that he was devoted to you. I didn’t see any indication that there was anyone else.”
She sighed. “He might be a dick, but I miss him. I never realised how hard it is to break up with someone. I feel like he’s torn my heart right out.” She sobbed.
I grabbed her hand and squeezed. Her fingers were cold.
“I don’t think breaking up with someone is ever going to be easy. But you can’t let it define you. You still have a life to live.”
“If I’d known it would be this hard, I might’ve saved myself the heartache before it happened.”
“You can’t live like that.” I shook my head. “We’re human. We feel and we love and we care. You can’t deny yourself.”
“You mean the way you do?”
Her gaze met mine, and I was rendered speechless for a second.
“Stop changing the subject. We’re talking about you. Despite everything, you and Jake had a lot of fun. You were good together, and I’ve never seen you happier. I know it hasn’t ended in a nice way,
but—”
“Could there ever be a nice way?”
“But at least you had that time together and the memories of it all.”
“I just want to forget it. Forget him.” She stared into the distance, eyes red and chin crumbling as she fought the onslaught of more tears.
From the bedside table, her phone beeped. My heart sped up as I considered the possibility that it could be Jake. I knew it was a longshot, but still.
Becca glanced at it with mild disinterest and then took another sip of tea and returned her gaze to the end of the bed, with glassy eyes.
“Aren’t you going to check that?”
She shook her head. “What’s the point? It’s not going to be him.”
“Maybe not, but you still have friends, Becca. Friends that haven’t heard from you in days. They’re going to know something is going on. Go on, check it.”
She stared at me, unblinking and then finally reached over to her bedside table and picked it up. She tapped a couple buttons and read the message. “It’s Jenny. She wants to go to the beach today. Apparently, it’s sunny out.” She dropped the phone on the sheets, without responding.
“Go.” I urged. “It’ll be good for you.”
Becca shook her head. “Maybe next time.”
I bit my lip as I stared at my best friend. Talking wasn’t do
ing her any favours, and I knew something had to change for her to be pulled from her stupor.
I stood up and removed the tray, then set it on the bedside table before throwing her covers back.
“Hey!” She reached for the duvet.
I held it out of her grasp. “You can’t sit here forever. Heading to the beach will do you good. You need your friends around you. And I can’t sit around here forever, either. I’m going stir crazy, and it’s only been a few days.”
“I can’t go. Not on my own. They’ll ask questions.” Tears filled her eyes.
I battled the internal debate. I knew that as a good friend I should offer to go with her for moral support, but the thought of spending the day with a bunch of people I barely knew, let alone liked, was almost too much.
I sighed and stared at my best friend. She was hurting, and she needed this. She needed me. I had to make the decision for her.
“Then I’ll come with you.”
“You?”
“Yes, me.” I nodded.
“You hate my friends.”
“Hate is a strong word.” I shrugged. Try despise. “Now come on. Grab your towel and go get a shower. You stink. And if you’re going to lounge on the beach, you might want to shave your legs.”
She let me pull her up until we were standing in the space between our beds. The t-shirt she wore—one I presumed belonged to Jake—hung to her knees. Her collar bones jutted from her body, and her skin was ashen. It had only been a few days, but this was going to go majorly downhill if something didn’t change soon.
“I don’t know, Ruby.”
“I’m not listening to it. Shower. Now.”
I guided her towards the door and smiled as she grabbed the handle and walked through. Progress.
While Becca was off getting her much-needed shower, I prepared myself for a day at the beach. I didn’t own a swimsuit—perhaps I needed to consider splashing out—so instead I pulled on my shorts—courtesy of my latest shopping trip with Becca—a tank and grabbed a light sweater in case the weather turned. I stuffed a pair of sunglasses and a book into my bag, alongside the torch and salt, and then folded my towel on top. Now I had to wait.
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