by Kim Fox
It was a beautiful evening anyway and the town was only a block away. Jax tucked the boy under his arm like a football and started walking down the sidewalk with the boy’s little legs dangling out behind him. The baby was loving it, laughing hysterically as he faced the sidewalk.
Jax picked up his pace as he got into the busier part of Colwood, hoping he wouldn’t bump into anyone he knew. He had a reputation of being a badass that he wanted to keep, and carrying around a little baby would ruin all of that.
The main street was lively like it always was on Friday nights in the summer. People from all over were flooding into the town to enjoy a night out at one of Colwood’s restaurants or to grab a drink at the bar after a long week of grueling work on their ranches. The terraces were packed with shifters and farmers enjoying pints of beer in the sun as they chatted and joked around with each other.
Jax would have joined them if he didn’t have a baby to take care of, so with a sigh, he slipped into the drugstore instead.
“Hi, Jax!” a voice called out from down the aisle. It was Stetson’s wife, Kylee, the sheriff of the town who was currently on maternity leave. She was pushing a stroller with a baby girl inside. “Whose baby is that?”
“I’m not sure,” Jax said as she rushed over. “Want to keep him?”
She quickly grabbed the baby, shifted him around, and placed him properly in Jax’s arms (with his head up this time). “That’s better,” she said, smiling nervously. “What do you mean you don’t know?”
Jax shrugged. “Someone left him at the firehouse. They didn’t leave a note.”
“Oh, my God!” she said with a gasp, looking horrified. “That’s awful.”
“That’s what I thought at first,” Jax said, looking at the baby who was staring back at him. “But it’s not so bad.”
In fact, he was kind of enjoying the little guy.
“Kylee, do you know how babies like their steaks cooked? I had it medium rare and he wouldn’t eat a thing.”
Kylee looked horrified. “Jax you can’t feed a baby steak! They have no teeth! He’ll choke!”
“Oh, right,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “I didn’t think of that.”
“You have to give him baby food,” she said, shaking her head. “Come.”
She grabbed a spare cart and Jax followed her into the next aisle where all of the baby food was stocked. “He needs to eat some of this,” she said, dumping some bottles into the cart. “And formula. You have to give him formula.”
She opened the jar and showed him the white powder. “So, he has to like snort this or something?”
“Water, Jax,” she said, staring at him in disbelief. “You have to mix it with water.”
“Water,” Jax repeated. “Got it.”
She spent the next ten minutes dumping stuff into his cart and explaining everything that he had to do. He left with five bags, a one hundred and twenty dollar receipt, and with his head swirling full of stuff that he would never remember.
An hour later, they were back home and the baby was fed. “Two whole bottles of puréed sweet potatoes,” Jax said proudly. “You’re a beast! Hey, that’s what I’ll call you. Beast.”
The baby flashed him a sweet potato covered smile. He seemed to like it.
Beast watched Jax as he struggled to make the formula and set it up in a bottle. He took a diaper out of the bag and changed him, following along to a YouTube video as he went.
“Yes!” Jax said with an excited grin when he finally got it right. “We did it, Beast!”
Beast laughed as he watched the giant lion shifter do a little celebratory dance.
“You know you’re really ruining my night,” Jax whispered as he carried the little guy upstairs to his bedroom. Beast was getting sleepy in his arms as he drank the bottle. Jax smiled as he watched his big blue eyes starting to close as his eyelids got heavy. “I was going to drink and party and watch TV in my underwear,” he continued in a whisper. “It was going to be great, and now I have to take care of you instead.”
Beast lost the struggle with his eyelids and the little guy fell asleep in Jax’s arms. He held him close to his chest and cradled him protectively as he quietly tiptoed to his bedroom.
“I guess it won’t be so bad,” Jax whispered to him as he placed him in bed. “You seem pretty cool too. Just don’t tell Axel I said that.”
Jax laid down beside him, unable to take his eyes off the baby as he stroked his fine blonde hair, feeling a soothing contentedness gently flowing through him that he’d never felt before.
“I’ll find you a good home, Beast,” he promised in a whisper as he watched him sleep. “I know how you’re feeling. My parents abandoned me too.”
He swallowed hard as a lump formed in his throat. That wasn’t something Jax liked to think about. He had buried it down deep a long time ago and kept it there where it belonged.
Jax curled up around the poor kid and lowered his head onto the pillow, breathing in Beast’s sweet baby scent.
“I don’t know where your mother is, Beast,” he whispered as his own eyelids started to get heavy. “But you don’t need her. I didn’t need mine, and I turned out just fine. You’ll see. Everything is going to be okay. You have me in your corner now, kid.”
Jax closed his eyes and the new friends dozed off, sleeping like babies.
Chapter 3
Violet
Violet lifted Benjamin’s blanket to her nose and inhaled deeply. The sweet scent did nothing to soothe her aching body as it traveled into her hollow chest. If anything, it made her feel worse.
How long until that smell goes away? How long until I have nothing left of him?
She had no idea how long she had been lying in his room, curled up in a ball on the floor. Her ability to track time had left with Benji. It had been hours at least. Long enough for her tears to run dry.
He’s better off wherever he is. Violet had to tell herself that. Over and over again. It was the only thing keeping her from descending into the darkest depths—descending to a place where there was no coming back from.
Benji may have been better off without her, but that thought did nothing to ease the deep sense of loss that was consuming her. It was devastating thinking that she might never see her baby boy again.
In the years to come, would she be able to remember how blue his eyes were and how cute he looked when he smiled? Would she be able to remember how loud he could cry only to stop immediately once she picked up his adorable little body?
Would he remember her?
A fresh set of tears came pouring out as she clutched her stomach and sobbed into the old scratchy carpet. This was worse than death.
Anton had taken everything from her, but she never thought he’d take her soul. She wished he had killed her after he made her give up the only good thing in her life. It would have been easier that way.
Anything was easier than this.
A flash of green caught her eye, and she reached out and grabbed Mr. Turtle, the stuffed animal that used to make Benjamin squeal with delight. She held it to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut, wishing that this was all a bad dream.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop thinking of him. She wondered who had Benjamin now. She hoped that they were feeding him enough and taking proper care of him. She bit her bottom lip until it burned, wondering if he had a soft warm place to sleep for the night.
The clomping sound of boots on the old creaky floors woke her out of her daze, and she sat up, surprised to see it so dark outside. It had been lunchtime when she had first dropped to the floor sobbing.
“Violet,” Anton barked in his rough voice.
She swallowed hard and wiped her burning eyes. “In here,” she squeaked as she forced herself up to her knees.
Anton appeared in the doorway, filling it with his massive frame. Violet kept her eyes on his muddy boots. Anton liked his girl to be submissive, so it was always best not to look him in the eyes.
�
��I have dinner,” he said in a growl. “Have it ready on the table in twenty minutes or you’ll be crying over more than that bloody kid.”
“Yes, sir,” she whispered as he stomped away. She heard him grab the bottle of Whiskey from the cupboard and march into the den. The TV turned on and the soft sound of the baseball game began playing.
Violet hated him more than anything. She would have killed him if she could, but the prick was invincible. She had dreams of stabbing him while he slept, but she knew he would just laugh at her as he pulled the knife back out and make her watch as his skin healed before her terrified eyes.
Anton was a tiger shifter and could heal incredibly fast.
She hated that brutal tiger as much as she hated him. It was making him lose his mind. Turning him into an animal and making him more predator than human.
Anton hadn’t always been like this. She liked him once.
But that was before she had Benjamin. That was before he became violent. That was before he dragged her into a cabin in the middle of the wilderness where she had no contact with anyone. That was before he emptied her bank account, cut up her ID, destroyed her birth certificate, and shredded her credit cards. That was before he made her give up Benji.
That was before she knew what a monster he truly was.
“I don’t hear you moving,” he warned from the other room.
Violet forced herself to get up. He would only warn her once. Then the belt would come off.
She made her way through the kitchen to the back of the house where a dead deer was lying in the dirt. Her chest tightened when she saw the beautiful animal lying there in a mess of blood. Anton’s vicious tiger had taken care of it.
He could have easily killed it with a bite to the neck, but the psychotic feline liked to toy with its prey, scratching it up good and letting it bleed to death.
This part always made her sick. She had been a vegetarian before she came to this dreaded cabin, and the old her couldn’t imagine doing something like this.
But necessity had made her tough. It made her do things that were unimaginable. Like placing her five month old baby on the doorstep of a firehouse never to see him again.
“Oh, Benji,” she moaned as a wave of sobs racked her body. She missed her son. She missed her baby.
“Will you ever forgive me?” she whispered to him as she began skinning the deer. She worried that he’d grow up never understanding why she had to do what she did. She worried that he would never forgive her, and that was what hurt the most.
He couldn’t grow up here. She knew that at least. Anton would have made his life a living hell, like he had made hers. He deserved to grow up in a loving household with guardians who loved him. Violet just hoped that he could find that.
It killed her that she couldn’t give it to him.
She swallowed her pain, like she so often did, and skinned the deer enough to cut out the tenderloin which was Anton’s favorite part. Her arms were covered in sticky blood as she brought it into the kitchen to cook. She’d have to leave the rest to finish later that night.
When the tenderloins were cooking in the oven, Anton came waltzing into the kitchen. She cringed as he slapped her ass and grinned.
“Isn’t it better without that loud fucking baby around?” he asked with a vicious grin on his face.
Violet’s eyes darted to the butcher knives on the counter. She gritted her teeth together, wanting to grab one and stab him, but she knew how fast he was. He would easily catch it and then she would be nursing a broken jaw rather than just a broken heart.
I’ll use it on myself instead.
But she couldn’t. Her son was still in the world and Benjamin might need her one day. She couldn’t leave this world while her child was still in it, no matter how painful it was to stay.
“Yup,” Anton said as he sat down at the head of the table like some kind of psychotic king. “This is way better. We should have done this months ago. Don’t you agree?”
Violet swallowed hard as she fought back the tears that were burning her eyes. “Yes.”
“What?” he asked, toying with her.
She turned around and glared at him. “I said yes.”
Anton smiled. “Good. Now let’s never talk about that crying monster again,” he said as he downed his glass of Whiskey. “We should have left him in the woods if you’d ask me. Send him back to hell where he belonged.”
Violet turned back to the oven and lowered her head. Anton was the only one who belonged in hell.
And she was the only one who was already there.
Chapter 4
Jax
“All right, Beast,” Jax said, taking a deep breath the next morning. “This time let’s try to get at least half of it to stay in your mouth.”
Breakfast wasn’t going as smoothly as the dinner had gone the night before. The little guy was covered in banana purée, and so was Jax.
“You have to eat this if you want to grow up and be a strong fireman like your uncle Jax,” he said, scooping another spoonful of the yellow mush. “Catch the airplane.”
Jax made some engine noises as he waved the spoon in the air like an airplane on the way to the kid’s mouth. Beast opened up and then turned his head at the last second letting the pretend airplane crash into his chubby cheek.
“All right,” Jax said, letting out a frustrated breath. “Not a fan of disgusting puréed bananas. Can’t say I blame you.”
He made the rookie mistake of leaving the bowl on the table in front of Beast and walked back to the counter to try his luck with some puréed apples instead.
Beast swung his beastly little arm and knocked the bowl off the table and onto the floor, smiling proudly at the mess he’d made.
“No!” Jax shouted in surprise when he turned and saw the mess. It was all over the tiles, up the wall, coating the chairs—pretty much everywhere but inside the upside bowl.
The shout startled Beast and his tiny chin started quivering as he stared at the lion shifter with frightened eyes.
“No, don’t cry,” Jax said in a panic as he rushed over. “You’re not in trouble little dude. I was just surprised.”
When he rushed over to console the baby, he slipped on the food and swung his arms up as he nearly fell on the floor. Beast turned from tears to laughs as he watched his new friend regain his balance.
“Oh, that’s funny, huh?” Jax said, chuckling as he watched the kid laughing. “Want me to do it again?”
He threw his arms up in the air again as he pretended to slip on the floor for a second time. Beast laughed even harder, watching with wide blue eyes and a big open mouth. Jax did it again and again, exaggerating the fall even more until he was lying in the cold food and Beast was laughing hysterically.
Jax couldn’t help but laugh too. The baby’s high-pitched laugh was contagious and always got him going.
Without thinking, he grabbed a handful of banana purée and spread it on his face, chuckling as Beast’s wide eyes got even wider as he let out a deep baby belly laugh.
“If the guys could see me now,” he whispered to himself as he made funny faces at the hysterical baby. “I would lose all of my tough guy street cred. You won’t tell, will you Beast?”
Jax couldn’t believe that he was actually enjoying having the kid around. I thought I hated kids?
He still did. But Beast was okay.
After he cleaned up the mess that Beast made, and freed him from the chair by removing the duct tape that was holding him up, he took him outside to get cleaned up. He filled two buckets with soap and water. One for the fire truck, and one for the kid.
Beast laughed and splashed around when Jax placed him in the bucket. It was the perfect fit and held the little boy up in a sitting position. But Jax still kept a close eye on him as he washed the truck, enjoying having the company.
“I like you because you don’t talk,” Jax said as he scrubbed the dead flies off the bumper. “Don’t ever change, Beast.”
Whe
n he was done cleaning the truck, Jax took the baby out of the water and carefully dried him off. He was putting a diaper on the kid when he saw a woman that he had never seen before watching him from down the street. She caught Jax’s eye immediately with her jet black hair and bright blue eyes. She looked worried as she watched, hovering near the corner of a building.
Wait a minute…
She was wringing her hands together, looking distressed as she kept her eyes locked on the boy lying on the hood of the fire truck. When she caught Jax’s eye, she quickly disappeared behind the building.
“Hey!” Jax called out, feeling his heart beat a little faster.
She didn’t return so he scooped up Beast and ran down the street to catch her. His pulse was racing as he turned the corner that she had disappeared behind and let out a sigh as he saw an old blue car driving away.
“Do you know her?” Jax whispered to the naked boy in his arms. “Is that who I think it is?”
He let out a sigh as he returned to the firehouse, wondering if he had just seen Beast’s mom.
Jax picked up Beast after his nap and sat down in front of the television. A talk show was on, showing some clips of children playing. Normally, Jax would have quickly turned off the TV to get away from the images of the kids, but for some reason, he didn’t mind it as much today.
“Is your child watching too much TV?” the female host said as the clips turned from happy children playing outside to obese children parked in front of television sets. “A new study states that American children ages two to five are watching on average more than thirty-two hours of television every week!”
Jax cringed as he glanced down at Beast whose eyes were focused on the TV.
“Obesity, high blood pressure, anxiety, and depression are just some of the effects that television can have on your children.”
“Oh, crap,” Jax said in a panic as he quickly grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. “Let’s do something else.”