by J P Sayle
The music drowned out his sigh of relief when he caught up with the truck as it merged with the traffic on the slipway on the motorway. He followed sedately behind, the miles seemingly endless. He gave up trying to talk to Morgana when all she did was howl in response. So instead he increased the volume on the radio and hummed to the music.
The hours made his back ache and his eyes blur to the point he was never happier to see the road sign for the ferry port.
“Nearly there, Morgana. Thank god! We’ve only the boat trip to get through next. Then I promise you can get out of the cage.”
The darkness made it impossible to see her, but the meowed response sounded decidedly miffed to him. “Come on, where’s your spirit of adventure?”
“AAAWWW”
He kept the smile hidden at her howled answer as he indicated to take the turning off the motorway and follow the signs for Heysham.
He waited at the traffic lights leading up to the large boat sitting in the bay, his eyes lit with pleasure. As he pulled through the gates into the dockyard, he felt his earlier excitement return. This was it, the final leg after the madness of the last week. And he was ready for it to be over so he could get back to some normalcy.
In near hysteria, realising how not normal this all was, he choked with laughter.
“We’re going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine.” He felt his belly clutch when his fingers tapped Morgana’s cage, and she remained silent.
It was going to be okay. It had to be.
Ellie
Though the sky above the near deserted street was clear and bright, the iciness of the air was unforgiving as Ellie stepped out of Brody’s car. His breath fogged when it touched the crisp, arctic wind whipping about his face, and he huddled into his pale lemon Jasper Conran coat with mournful thoughts of the hat that sat forgotten on his bed.
A put-upon sigh left his mouth when Brody strode off down the street, leaving him behind. Rolling his eyes at the broad back in front of him, Ellie gave chase, the quick pace helping to warm him up.
When Brody stopped at the end of the street, staring up at the tall ugly-looking building, Ellie halted and wheezed. The moment he stopped, he shoved his hands into his pockets and followed Brody’s gaze. The building in front of them was impressive, with clean lines and a massive, all-glass front that allowed him an unfettered view of the lobby area. White walls held a bold abstract painting, and there were multicoloured chairs scattered around low tables. The dark hardwood floor matched the few closed doors that he saw, finishing off the upmarket but not over-the-top look. It offered a friendly vibe while still giving off an air of understated elegance. The excitement that had been slowly building since he arrived fizzed to life in his chest as he looked over the new home for their fledgling security company.
Brody’s request to come and have a look at the office and throw around some ideas about how to set the place up now seemed like the best idea he’d ever had, even if I had to get up at arse crack of dawn on a Sunday.
The whiny voice wanting to take the shine off his enjoyment was quickly slapped down. The fear he’d lived with since Brody’s resignation waned as he stood looking through the gleaming window at his new future. Brody leaving had had the potential to steal all the pleasure Ellie typically found in his everyday work life. Not that Brody knew that, and as far as Ellie was concerned, he’d never know. Two things he didn’t need were sympathy or pity, which is precisely what he’d have got. Hell, he’d feel pity if someone told him the only joy in their life was going to work to see their one friend. Seriously, how sad was that?
The only pleasure in his life over the last two years and especially the previous twelve months was the time he’d spent with Brody at work. So when he’d found out Brody was leaving, the little worm of fear and insecurity that he’d have no choice but to end up back with Seb wouldn’t leave him be.
For the first time, he took a deep breath and let go of his worries. A lump grew in his throat as he stood silently, allowing the reality of a new life to take hold. As if sensing how monumental the moment was, Brody’s hand settled on his shoulder and squeezed. A glance at Brody and Ellie’s eyes teared up.
“Oh no, you don’t,” said Brody, moving his hand, horror etched into his handsome face. “There’ll be no tears. Fucksake, you know I don’t do tears.”
The utter panic in Brody’s voice had Ellie hold on to the sob in his throat. “It’s your fault, so suck it up.” With a trembling hand, he wiped at his moist eyes and stepped towards the building.
“Come on, show me my new office.” He dragged a hand through his windblown hair and turned to give Brody a wink. “So I can figure out how to spend all your hard-earned money, making it sparkle.”
Brody’s brows disappeared into his hairline, and he hesitated in front of Ellie. “What do you mean—make it sparkle?” he choked out.
With a concerted effort, Ellie kept his face straight at the genuine fear in Brody’s expression. Tongue in cheek, he gave Brody a broad smile, “How long have you known me?” Not waiting for Brody to reply, Ellie continued, “You know how I love anything bright—vibrant. The office is going to positively glow.”
This time he couldn’t hold in the laughter, Brody’s saucer-wide eyes were just too much. Ellie’s arms wrapped around his waist and tears fell down his cheeks as he howled with laughter.
Brody pointed at him, “You are not fucking funny,” he said before stomping past him to unlock the door.
Ellie sucked in a breath. “Yes, I am. I had you fooled there for a moment. I could see the vivid pictures you were imagining.” All he got in response was a loud, undignified snort. Following Brody, Ellie stepped through the door into the warmth. A shiver raced up his spine, his body appreciating being out of the icy wind.
When they stepped out of the lift and into a vast office space a minute later, Brody’s arms swept the room. “What do you think?”
Ellie walked around the room, hiding a devilish glint in his eyes. He lowered his lashes, laying it on thick. “It’s a bit boring looking. You did say Sarah, the landlady, said we could do whatever we wanted to the office, right?” He bounced on his Vans for effect before shoving at Brody’s shoulder when all he did was raise an eyebrow in his direction.
“Come on, let’s get cracking.”
Ellie listened as Brody explained what the building offered. “There is a gym, sauna, and a steam room?” He gasped.
“Calm yourself.” Brody laughed. “Yes, there is, and you’ll be able to use them with your access swipe once I sort you one.” While Brody carried on explaining the facilities to him, Ellie listened with only half an ear. His mind was already racing with possibilities. There were single offices situated around two of the main walls, each with a view of the vast central space when their doors were open. Strolling through each office, he opened his iPhone and made notes.
He eyed the plain white walls, wondering how much money he could squeeze out of Brody and Aaden. Would they be willing to splash out on giving the place a little bit of colour? He gnawed on his lower lip, considering the possibilities. Nothing too garish. No, something subtle. Maybe mint green.
He continued to explore. The small kitchen had everything they’d need, and although the bathroom was tiny, it was clean and functional, so he supposed he couldn’t ask for more than that. He walked back into the main office, where Brody leant casually against the door.
His eyes narrowed on Brody. It took a second to notice the clenched jaw and furrowed forehead. He’s worried about what I think.
Blinking rapidly, he looked out the window to his left, unsure how he’d got so lucky. Once he got his emotions under control, he faced Brody. “I love it. The walls need a coat of paint to liven them up—”
“What colour? Nothing too bright. We don’t want to frighten away potential customers.”
At Brody’s panicked interruption, Ellie snorted. “Oh, you’re too easy. I mean maybe a mint green or a nice subtle rose. Something warm an
d inviting.” He lost himself in the images he envisioned for the room.
He lost count of how many times Brody asked questions, wanting more details as he scribbled down everything Ellie was saying. Feeling his confidence grow, Ellie let the ideas flow as his creative side came to the fore.
He wasn’t sure how long they’d spent sitting on the old patterned carpet batting ideas back and forth when they were interrupted by Brody’s phone ringing. Paying no mind to the conversation, he went through the list of jobs he’d made.
“What?” he asked, raising his head when Brody poked his arm.
“The boys are downstairs and want to meet you.” Brody stood, not elaborating further, and went to the door before Ellie could ask which boys.
Muttering, he got up and straightened his trousers. He fidgeted, worrying if these ”boys,” whoever they were, would like him.
The door was flung open, and the sounds of several excited voices filled the room. Ellie blinked, slowly taking in all the hunky men. He licked at his dry lips at the sight of all the hot men now standing in front of him, offering varying degrees of warm smiles.
The chatter continued, allowing him a minute to try and gauge who everyone was. He knew who Nick was, but the other six men he could only guess at, using Brody’s rundown and descriptions. Waiting for Brody to introduce him, Ellie hopped from one foot to the other.
The following introductions, hand-pumps, and squeezes left his hand bruised. He eyed Aaden, Brody’s best friend and new business partner with trepidation. He was so tall Ellie barely came past the guy’s waist.
A smile glued to his lips, he worked on being polite as his nerves stretched to breaking point. Nick, Greg, Joe, and Brad all competed to talk to him at once.
“Give Ellie a minute, guys. I’m sure he doesn’t need you all shouting at him at once,” Brody joked.
With a grateful smile, Ellie accepted the arm Brody slung over his shoulder, pulling him away from the guys surrounding him. The chat continued, and he tried not to feel excluded when the four men wandered off to explore without inviting him.
“Aaden, Ellie has a list of things we need, so I hope you have deep pockets. I think he’s going to be rummaging through them pretty soon.” Brody chuckled, winking at Ellie.
Greg’s head popped out from one of the offices. “Only one person is rummaging in his pockets, and that would be me.” He sniggered.
The flush crawling up Aaden’s neck and the headshake had Ellie grinning at Greg. Genuine humour sparked in the other man’s eyes when he waved at Ellie to come closer.
“Come on, Ellie, you’re better off with us.” Greg pointed to Martin, Stuart, and Aaden. “They’re no fun.”
“Come here and say that, my red-haired beauty.” Aaden beckoned, giving Greg pause. There was a glint of devilment in his eyes that Ellie didn’t miss.
“Oh, for god’s sake, will you two stop it,” Nick groused, poking his head out of the office next to Greg. Ellie couldn’t stop himself from sniggering when Nick and Greg argued.
When Ellie shut his front door four hours later, he had a spring in his step. A grin spread over his face as he recalled Nick’s invite for dinner the following Friday. It seemed his friend, Connor, had arrived on the island, and he wanted to introduce him to all his local friends. To be included in the group left him giddy with excitement.
I’ve got friends.
A chuckle rose in his throat but turned into a sob. Stop it. With an eye roll, he went upstairs to search through his wardrobe. It was never too early to plan what one was going to wear to go out.
Connor
With an aching jaw, Connor threw the car into gear and revved the engine. He drove through the school gates, heading straight for home. He was grateful it was a Friday and he didn’t have to go back and face Miss Reardon until he’d got his temper in check.
Doing his best to think of all the positives he’d experienced over the last week, he gripped the steering wheel. But after being invited to the planned Easter gala ball, the positives fell by the wayside. The head of the education department, Miss Reardon, had visited him, wanting to ensure he understood that it was a mandatory requirement to attend.
That in itself was fine; it was the look of disgust and horror the woman wore after she’d asked him if he was bringing his girlfriend or wife to the event. When she’d added a flirty tone to her voice, he knew she was fishing for information. Unfortunately for her, she got more than she’d bargained for when he’d explained it would have been a boyfriend or husband were he not single.
Not once had he hidden his sexuality. His mother made sure from a young age, when she understood before him that he was gay, to explain that it was all right to have feelings for boys. That it didn’t matter if others said differently; they were the ones in the wrong, not him. He’d pretty much lived his life like that, accepting that he couldn’t change that fundamental part of himself. Not that he’d ever wanted to.
What about the Daddy kink?
He forced the voice to quieten while he was still too angry to think about anything other than Miss Reardon’s face and tone dripping with disgust at his statement. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do about it. They’d left the subject hanging after her face had morphed into some Spitting Image caricature.
Had the question of his sexuality come up at the interview? When he came up blank, he reasoned with himself that it didn’t matter. He got the job on merit he argued, because of his skills and experience and not his sexual orientation. But the thing was, he knew better. The gleam in the woman’s eyes said he was going to be in for a rocky ride.
With thoughts of rereading his new contract, he drove up his drive and parked. He was going to go through it with a fine-toothed comb to make sure they couldn’t sack him because he was gay. Twenty years in education and he’d never had an issue. But was that because I never flaunted being gay?
He turned off the engine, grabbed his bulging briefcase, and got out of the car. He stomped up the path, not noticing at first that Nick was standing in front of him.
“Hey, slow down, or you might take me out.” Nick screeched when Connor glanced up too late and nearly hit him. “What’s got into you? Are the new kids giving you a hard—” Nick paused, his smile dropping as he reached out to stroke Connor’s arm. “What is it?”
Connor’s simmering anger took hold, flooding his system before he could control himself. Jabbing a finger at Nick, he forced him to step back. “I’ll tell you what it is. Fucking small-minded people, that’s what it is. The head of Education came to inform me today that I need to attend the Easter gala ball. Then she asked if I was bringing my girlfriend or wife.” He saw the light dawn in Nick’s eyes as he continued, “Yes, you’re bloody right. I set her straight in the kindest way. Jesus, if you had seen her face, Nick, shit.” Connor pinched his brow, shutting his eyes and willing the image away.
He opened them when Nick’s arms circled his waist in a fierce hug. “Fuck them, man. It’s not like they can sack you for being gay, right?” The confidence in his voice faded into worry, which made Connor worry too. His arms tightened around Nick, needing the support.
“I’m going to go through my contract tonight and make sure there is nothing. I read it, but you never know. I might have missed something in the small print.” He sagged at the thought of having to look for another job after uprooting himself.
“What! You agreed to come to dinner tonight. I’ve invited the guys so you can meet them all, and I’ve asked Ellie, Brody’s friend, to join us.”
When Nick fluttered his eyelashes up at him, Connor bit back the refusal on the tip of his tongue.
“Please, you said you’d come, and you can look at your contract tomorrow. Nothing’s gonna change between then and now. And just think, you don’t have to cook for yourself, and you can have a few drinks ‘cause you’re only next door.” Nick nudged him before stepping back and tilting his head to look up at him. “Come on. You know you want to.”
When Nick
used his best cajoling tone, Connor sighed in defeat. He held up his hands. “All right, you win. What time should I come over, and do I need to bring anything?” He plucked at his lip, choosing not to say anything about Nick’s big arse grin.
Distracted, he tried to recall if he’d bought any decent wine when he’d done his shopping last weekend. “I might have some wine I can—”
“It’s all fine, man. Just come over at seven. We have everything we need.” Nick dodged around him, making his escape before Connor could respond. On a sigh, he watched Nick’s retreat. The bugger was too hard to resist.
Consoling himself that he’d only have driven himself mad all night, getting angrier over the injustice, he hefted his briefcase up and walked to the door. When it opened, he shouted for Morgana. In the ensuing silence, he dropped his case and headed to the back of the house towards the kitchen. He stepped into the spacious room, which had a tranquil feel that he loved, so much like the dark, old-fashioned kitchen of his childhood home.
The pale green cupboards and white tiles suited the gleaming white appliances. There were splashes of random colour in the oddly placed tiles that broke up the solid white walls. His eclectic set of pots and kitchen appliances fitted not only him but the room as well. The feeling of homeliness the house offered dulled those of homesickness.
The odd moments of panic that hit him at times over the first few days had made him consider telling both estate agents, locally and in the UK, that he’d made a mistake. Thankfully, Nick had twice been on hand to talk him off the ledge. As the week wore on, he’d found a new rhythm to his life that he liked. The only fly in the ointment up until today was Morgana.
He’d spent days trying to make her see that it wasn’t his fault the boat trip had made her sick. Who knew that cats could suffer from travel sickness the same as humans? Granted, the fact that she’d been trapped in the cage with the stench and mess of her vomit, on the lower deck of the boat, with no escape was laid entirely at his door. He understood why she was upset, but how could he fix it if she wouldn’t let him even touch her?