by J P Sayle
Brody talking drew Ellie from his thoughts.
“I’m going to head off. But before I go, can I just check that the box was the only thing Luke gave you, Ellie?”
Glancing at Brody, Ellie nodded. “Just the box. He had it delivered to the office on my last day with a note asking me to give it to you.” His breath hitched.
Connor’s hands soothed, his hot breath ghosting over Ellie’s ear as he spoke.
“Shush. I’ve got you—”
“Do you still have the note?” Brody interrupted.
“No, I threw it away. I’m sorry,” Ellie sobbed out.
“That’s enough, Brody. He’s upset enough,” Connor interjected.
“All right. I just wanted to make sure. When I go to the police station, I want all the facts,” Brody huffed in apparent frustration.
“I get it, Brody. I do, but you’re upsetting Ellie, and I won’t tolerate that,” Connor stated firmly.
Another sob broke free from Ellie. Connor rocked him, making gentle, reassuring noises.
With the whole situation weighing on him, his eyes drifted shut to keep the world at bay. He took comfort from the strong arms wrapped tightly around him.
The sound of the door shutting when Brody left was the only noise in the room, besides his occasional sniffle and sob.
He kept his eyes closed, even as he sensed Connor staring at him.
“Why do I get the impression that there is something playing on your mind, besides the dead animal?”
At Connor’s quietly spoken question, a sigh escaped. Ellie opened his eyes and stared into Connor’s almond eyes. The concern etched on his features was too much.
“I want.” Ellie paused. When Connor didn’t prompt him to carry on, Ellie took a minute to gather his thoughts. What should he do? Confess to his past and be done with it?
With a sigh of defeat, Ellie sagged. “I’m going to tell you a story, but you have to promise to let me get it all out before you ask any questions.” As he spoke, he saw resignation cross Connor’s nodding face.
“I was fourteen when my stepfather threw me out of the house for being gay.” An angry red flush rode up Connor’s neck and bled into his cheeks, but thankfully he kept silent so Ellie could carry on. “I was homeless and desperate. Three weeks on the streets and I’d heard so many horror stories from the vagrants. I didn’t know which way to turn. It was November, bitterly cold, and I was starving when I went down this back alley in search of food.” Fidgeting in Connor’s lap, he stopped talking, needing to get up.
When Connor’s arms tightened, he gave him a searching look. After a few seconds, Connor’s lips twitched.
“You did say I wasn’t allowed to talk, remember?”
The humour broke through the tension of the situation. “Yeah, I did. The fact that you were following my instructions is weird to me. My last Daddy never did that.” His hand slapped over his mouth at the Freudian slip. Connor isn’t my Daddy.
Even as he thought it, his mind rebelled. He is.
“Whatever has you scowling at me like that?” Connor asked.
A wave of heat rode up Ellie’s face so fast he couldn’t hide his mortification. The hand that took hold of his chin wouldn’t allow him to look away from Connor. His hand dropped away from his face. “You’re not my Daddy.”
His breath caught in his chest at the fierceness on Connor’s face.
“Is that right? How did you work that out, boy?”
The growled demand was all it took for his cock to plump. It was entirely on board with being Connor’s boy. Oh, shit. With the urge to move under Connor’s appraisal, Ellie’s hands balled in his lap.
“Answer me, boy. How did you come to the conclusion that I’m not your Daddy?”
A shiver ran down Ellie’s spine. “We haven’t talked about it. You said I needed to talk about my past before we moved towards discussing more.” He sighed, frustrated at how whiny it came out.
“Yes, you’re right. We haven’t talked about it. But I thought it was understood that I want to be your Daddy?”
The relief pouring through Ellie was immense. He wants to be my Daddy. The joy was quickly followed with a dose of common sense. Remember what happened last time. The retort had him tense.
“There you go again. What is it that has you looking so scared?”
Disquiet laced Connor’s voice, and Ellie rushed to explain.
“I want this so much, but I’ve been—” At a loss for how to continue, this time he got up off Connor’s lap and resisted the tug of wanting to stay wrapped in his arms.
Once free, he paced, his hands messing his hair when they threaded through it repeatedly. “I met Daddy, Seb, when I was fourteen and homeless.” His hand came up at Connor’s mouth opening. “You promised to wait. I won’t be able to get it all out if you start asking questions. This is hard enough.”
Connor bowed his head, and his chest heaved twice before he glanced back at Ellie and gave him a look that encouraged him to continue.
“Seb found me in the alley at the back of his restaurant. I fainted through hunger and woke up in his house. There was something about him that called to a part of me I didn’t fully understand at the time. Anyway, he kept me and looked after me. He cared for me, and I developed feelings for him, as he did for me.” A look of disgust filled Connor’s eyes, and Ellie sucked in a breath before quickly carrying on. “Seb never once tried to have sex with me, Connor, not once. I understood we had a different dynamic in our relationship. I always knew I wanted something different. It was only when I lived with Seb and searched the Internet and found a site that explained about Daddy kink that it clicked what I wanted. I met a boy online, and we chatted for months about what I felt for Seb.
“On my sixteenth birthday, I expected things to change. No, that’s wrong. I wanted things to change. I was attracted to Seb and wanted more from him. I wanted what the websites explained about those kinds of relationships. With encouragement from my online friend.” Heat flooded Ellie’s face, but he kept his gaze on Connor, wanting to see his reaction to his confession, “I seduced Seb. It took me a few weeks, but I wore him down. I can be quite tenacious when I want something.”
At his comment, Connor’s lips twitched, but he remained silent.
“The thing was, it was great to start with, but as I got older, I wanted to talk about my relationship, be like other couples, only Seb was dead set against it. That was the beginning of our problems. Then he didn’t like my style or what I chose to wear. It was little things that I found I gave in to, wanting nothing more than to please my Daddy. But it started to put a strain on our relationship. Only Seb wouldn’t listen to me. The harder I fought the control, wanting to spread my wings a little and experience different things, the harder he fought to keep me contained in the box he’d built around us.” Ellie paused, licking at his dry lips.
Breaking eye contact, he started walking back and forth in front of Connor.
His fists clenched at his sides as he carried on, “I understood that Seb had a reputation to protect and that some people would not understand what we had. But a part of me yearned to go out on a regular date, not to have to hide all the time. We never went anywhere together as a couple. Even if we had a holiday, Seb still kept what we had hidden, like I was a dirty secret.” The last part came out on a sob.
The reality of how deep it hurt his feelings surfaced. He kept his face averted from Connor, his emotions riding him hard.
“Ellie, look at me, please.”
With the firm request, Ellie halted and glanced towards Connor.
“Are you saying you were in a relationship for years with Seb, but that you weren’t out in public?”
When Ellie nodded, Connor’s mouth pinched.
“And Seb has been your only relationship?”
Again Ellie nodded, not sure where Connor was going with his questions.
“Can you sit with me?”
A buzz of excitement skipped through Ellie at the possib
ility that he hadn’t fucked up. So he went to Connor’s outstretched arms and sat on his lap. A spicy scent that Ellie couldn’t place, but that was uniquely Connor, comforted him. The minute those arms held him, he knew this was what had been missing from his life.
Resting his head against Connor’s shoulder, he peeked at him under his lashes. The air got stuck in his chest when almond eyes darkened and held him captive. There was understanding and something so much more potent in those eyes that he had the urge to weep. His teeth sank into his lower lip, and he gave an undignified sniff.
The chuckle Connor released would have been upsetting if not for the look of adoration that followed. His head lowered until their foreheads touched. Soft puffs of air hit Ellie’s face.
“I have a couple of things I want to say, and then we’re going to leave this conversation for now. The first thing is that I’ve never hidden who I am, Ellie. Never. I don’t openly flaunt that I’m gay or that I am a Daddy in my relationships. I believe in being me, and nothing changes that, regardless of who knows. I also love to date and go out in public to show off my boy. Not that I’ve had many boyfriends. The one thing I’m positive about is that I’d never hide you or our relationship from anyone.” Connor paused and licked his lips. “Would you like to try dating and see what happens?”
The intensity in Connor’s expression and the sheer openness said he was telling Ellie the truth. His pulse thrummed at not having to hide and being able to be open about a relationship. Did Connor mean it? He thought back to Saturday and how Connor had sat with him in the restaurant, laughing and chatting, not in the least bit concerned they were in public.
When Connor’s brows drew together, Ellie spoke up. “Yes, I’d like to try dating.”
The air gushing over his face caused him to chuckle. Was Connor as anxious as him? It seemed absurd that a Daddy would be nervous. Seb had always been so confident. Only when Ellie had left had he shown any signs of weakness.
“I know you said we weren’t going to talk about my past anymore. But I need to explain that Seb has had some issues with letting go.” Ellie shrugged at his underplaying what had been a nightmare, but he felt it needed to be shared. “He’s been a little stalkerish.” There he’d said it.
Connor’s frown deepened. “Is he still giving you issues?”
Ellie sucked his lip between his teeth, stopping the moan. What did it say about him when the growly tone Connor used got him all worked up?
Connor drew back and gave him a look that had him rushing to respond. “No, not really. I had a text asking where I was weeks ago but nothing since.”
When Connor eyes sparked with anger, Ellie braced.
“Why haven’t you blocked his number?”
The quietness of Connor’s voice did not hide the steel beneath. “I… erm… well, Daddy wouldn’t like that.” Once the words left his mouth, Ellie saw the error of his ways. There was no way Connor was going to like that he still thought of Seb as his Daddy. His fears were confirmed when he was gently placed on his feet and Connor got up and strode to the window and glanced out at the darkness. An air of stiffness and distance left Ellie’s mouth dry and his hands fidgeting at his sides. What should he do now? How could he make it better?
Clueless, he stood rooted to the spot where Connor had placed him.
Connor
The darkness was, much like his mood, oppressive. The hope that was burgeoning in his chest had taken a big hit and was attempting to recover. Was Ellie ever not going to think of Seb as his Daddy? The ease with which he’d answered his question said not. Now he had no clue as to what to do. It was far more manageable when he was angry about the circumstances of Ellie’s background. It had taken courage for Ellie to open himself up. He could see that. It still didn’t make it any easier to listen to, and a part of him doubted whether Ellie’s recollection about the past was accurate. Seb was a lot older and wiser than Ellie. Why didn’t he resist the young Ellie?
A wry chuckle rose in his throat. Like I would have been any better? His shoulders sagged. The weight of Ellie’s stare on his back forced him to turn around. The fear that was written on Ellie’s face was too much for him to resist, and he opened his arms. There was no hesitation. Ellie flew across the room and wrapped himself in Connor’s embrace. On a mournful sigh, he laid his chin on top of Ellie’s head.
“You need to think about whether you want a new Daddy, Ellie.” The hands tightly gripping his waist slackened, but he kept a firm hold. “Don’t pull away. I need you to think about what you want—”
“I want you,” Ellie beseeched, his head tilting back to look into Connor’s eyes.
“Are you sure?” He placed a finger on Ellie’s lips to stop him from interrupting again. “Listen to me. Your actions say differently. Your easy use of the term Daddy when you talk about Seb and the fact that you haven’t deleted his number knowing he wouldn’t like it. How do you think that appears to me?”
Blond brows disappeared under Ellie’s fringe. He was so adorable when he concentrated. Connor let him mull on what he had said. The fact that he was thinking about it eased the tension knotting the muscles of his upper back. His arms stayed around Ellie as they stood by the window.
“I can see what you mean.” Ellie gave him an earnest look. “I haven’t got anything to compare it to. But I wanna say I never once thought about going back to Seb, no matter how hard it was or how many times he asked me to. Doesn’t that count for something? Show that I don’t want him to be my Daddy anymore?”
The plea and desperation coming off Ellie were enough to make him relent. Needing to do something to take the strain off Ellie’s face, he lowered his mouth. His lips brushed gently against Ellie’s. The simple action set light to the desire that was never far from the surface when Ellie was nearby. All his plans to take it slowly went up in smoke the second Ellie’s lips parted and a sweet moan followed.
His hands tightened around Ellie, drawing him closer. Their height difference became a hindrance, with him having to bend almost double over Ellie. Easing back, he sniggered when Ellie complained and chased his mouth.
“I’m not stopping, but I’m getting a crick in my back from bending.” The chair they’d vacated sat right there, and Connor pulled Ellie with him. “Let’s sit. It will be more comfortable.”
“I’ve got a bed in the next room that would be even more comfortable,” Ellie offered with a sultry smile.
At the desirous expression Ellie wore, Connor forgot how to swallow. Ellie’s lips all puffy and wet were a temptation no man could resist. If they went into Ellie’s bedroom, Connor was never going to be able to resist taking things further than just kissing. Like I stood a chance of stopping at kissing.
Ellie tugged on his hand before he’d finished arguing with himself. Ellie didn’t give him an opportunity to stop and dragged him behind him. It dawned that maybe Ellie had been telling the truth that Seb hadn’t stood a chance against him. The thought left a sour taste in his mouth. Not wanting thoughts of Seb to come between them, he let them go. His cock was more than happy to let Ellie move things along.
A groan rumbled up his chest at what he was about to do. His common sense interjected once they got in Ellie’s room. He wanted more than anything to get carried away in the moment, but he also recalled how Ellie spoke about not having the experiences of real dating.
With a small tug, he got Ellie to face him. “Can we talk for a moment?”
A defiant light lit Ellie’s eyes. He stamped his foot thrust his chin towards Connor.
“You’re going to stop before we’ve even got started, aren’t you?” Ellie whined.
With laughter bubbling up inside at Ellie’s petulant behaviour, Connor bit his lip. He nodded. “Yes, I am. But not because I don’t want to take you to that bed and strip off your clothes and worship every inch of your body. And for future reference, I’ll smack your bottom for talking to Daddy like that.”
The way Ellie trembled and sucked his lip between his teeth push
ed against Connor’s resolve. His free hand clenched at his side to stop it from reaching out. Come on. This is for the best.
His jaw bunched at the lack of conviction in his internal argument. “You said you’d never been on dates or really got to experience what it’s like to be boyfriends. I want to give that to you before we jump into bed.” He halted, his mouth drying at the sight of Ellie’s dewy eyes. “Please, don’t cry. Stop it right now.” Panic laced his words but did little to stop a tear from rolling down Ellie’s cheek.
Ellie sniffed up and rubbed at his face. “What am I supposed to do when you say stuff like that. I want to be mad at you for not wanting to jump my bones. Then you say you want to give me a proper dating experience,” Ellie said on a big, heartfelt sigh.
The pulse jamming itself against Connor’s ribs calmed a little with the understanding that the tears were from happiness. “Oh, okay.” A little at a loss at what to do next, Connor stood like a statue.
The loud rumble that came from Ellie’s tummy had them both look at it. It was then Connor realised he was also hungry. The original plan for the evening gave him an idea. “Want to make something to eat together, or do you want to find a place to eat out?” He offered both options, though Connor wanted to stay right where he was.
“I have some food in the fridge we could probably use to make a meal if that’s okay?” Ellie said.
A big grin spread over Connor’s face. “Perfect.” He held out his hand to Ellie. “Let’s go and see what we can find.” When Ellie took hold of his hand, Connor gave the bed one last longing glance, and he headed for the door before the temptation to say “fuck it” took charge.
When they were in the kitchen, he let Ellie guide him. The array of vegetables and chicken breasts Ellie took from the fridge covered the work surface.
“What do you fancy? I could do a stir-fry.” Ellie asked. His brows pinched in concentration as he inspected what was on the counter.
“That sounds perfect. What do you want me to do?”
Left with the task of washing the vegetables, he then chopped them. He was left with a feeling of contentedness he’d never experienced before with any of his boyfriends. Was this the soul mate connection the others had spoken of?