I had found the love of my life, and Amalie robbed me of the life I was supposed to have with Celina. The life we deserved. We were on our way to greatness, and Amalie took that away. Still, I couldn’t leave my wife.
I’ve been stuck in that field, selling used cars for years because of her. The ungrateful brat! And of course, luck comes her way, just like it did with her mother.
I'm not a violent man. I've only hit Celina once before. I was drunk, and we sorted it out then. I promised her I’d never hurt her or Amalie, so now I've lost Celina for good. I have no reason to stay here when I can't have her.
By the time you read this, I will have left the country. I’m glad I registered Skar’s Auto in Amalie’s name. It’s her fault after all I got into that mess.
Please tell Celina I'm sorry and take care, my friend. I know I can rely on you.
Hermann
What does he mean by Skar’s Auto registered in my name?
I’ve never signed a single paper.
Like a dried-up river needing water, I swallow to moisten my tongue, but it’s no use. My mind spins in a hundred directions. Dad’s known all along that if Skar’s goes bankrupt, it’s on me, it’s my future down the drain. I’ll never be able to pay off that debt if this is true. Dad knows this will ruin me. I’ve tried so hard to be a daughter he’d be proud of and to help him. What have I done to destroy his life when Mom said I’m the best thing that ever happened to her? Me owning Skar’s Auto?
That can’t be true. It’s going bankrupt!
I crumble the letter, wanting to rip it apart, but instead throw it in a trashcan by the door and limp down to Nana. She’s pouring hot water into cups when I startle her in the kitchen.
“Did you know Dad hit Mom?”
Her eyes widen. “No, I did not.” Handing me a cup with pieces of ginger floating around, her glasses slide down her nose revealing a deep frown. “Where did you learn that?”
I explain the letter. “And Dad says he registered Skar’s Auto to me. Can he do that?”
“Hmmm. I am not sure.”
William. He’ll know. “I have to call William about this.”
“Perhaps you should rest first?”
The blood running through me changes like a tap turning from scorching hot to freezing cold. With the cup in my hand, I stagger my way up to my room to call William and find five missed calls from him on my phone. I call back but get a busy signal when Nana’s home line rings.
“Yes, she is here, and the lovely flowers you brought her are in my kitchen,” Nana calls from downstairs. “Amalie? William is on the line for you.”
I pick up the phone in the hallway upstairs . “Hello?”
“You scared me. I stopped by the hospital and you were gone. How are you feeling?”
“Is there any way that Skar’s Auto is my company?”
“What? Who cares about a company? Are you all right?”
“I’m okay, William. Is it possible?”
“You’re not okay. Don’t lie to me. I saw what you looked like passed out on that floor.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. My bruises hurt like hell, but I need to know if Dad could have registered the company in my name. Is it possible to do that?”
“No, it’s not.”
I exhale. For a second, I thought my life was over. I would have had to give up on DAP to work off those debts, give up on my dream to pay off Dad’s stupid choices.
“But it used to be. If your father registered it to you before the digitalization.”
What does that mean?
“How can I find out if he did?” I’m shouting into the phone as if William’s the one ripping my life apart.
“Calm down. It’s on your tax profile so you should have seen it already if it’s registered to you.”
The few times Dad did pay me it was cash. “I don’t have a tax profile. I’ve never paid taxes. I’ve only worked for Dad.”
“Everyone has a tax profile, Amalie. Give me two seconds, I’ll check online,” William says.
If it’s in my name, why would he do that? It doesn’t make any sense.
“Sorry to say it, but you own 100% of the stock in Skar’s Auto AS.”
Shit.
“I have to go.” I hang up. I’m ruined. I stumble into my bedroom, fall onto the bed and scream into my pillow.
“Amalie?” Nana paces up the steps. When she reaches my room, she’s out of breath, and her face is white. “Are you all right?”
I shake my head. “I own Skar’s. It’s my company, my debt. Dad registered it in my name.” I shriek into the pillow again. “I don’t have any money to pay off Skar’s debt. I don’t know what to do.”
“There is always a way.” Nana sits on the bed next to me. “When does school begin?”
“September twentieth,” I say.
“Well. That gives us almost three months to pay off the debts and get rid of Skar’s Auto.”
“It’s not that easy. The cars don’t sell, and I can’t just get rid of Dad’s work.”
“Why not?”
“I…” I don’t know.
Sure, I do.
But I can’t say it out loud. Because I don’t want that, Dad’s worked so hard for it. “Never mind.” Nana sounds so sure we can sell it and continue our lives like before, I almost believe her. Still, neither of us knows how to run a business, but if Dad can do it, I can too. Hopefully better. “We’ll find a way. Let’s get rid of Skar’s.”
Nana turns down the corner of the duvet. “You should rest. Tomorrow will be a tough day, and you need to be strong. It will be difficult until you find your way through this. I am here if you need anything.”
I kiss her forehead. “I don’t think I can handle any more bad news now. I’m exhausted. Thank you.”
PORSCHE
The next morning at six o’clock, Mr. Jensen picks me up. Our little town is quiet as we drive through. Small waves knock at the jetty where the bulk of the restaurant's outdoor seating is, and seagulls soar overhead. Only fishermen are up, loading off today’s catch. Clouds are moving in, but for now, it’s still light out, as is usual during summer.
Mr. Jensen drops me off. “Call me when you want me to pick you up.”
I stare at the lot, covered in dusty cars with Dad’s red banner soaring overhead, reminiscent of Mom’s blood on the carpet. “Skar’s Auto.” My every instinct tells me to rip the sign down. The red Porsche I have cleaned at least twenty times but never been allowed to drive catches my eye. “Thanks, but I’ll use one of Dad’s cars.”
Mr. Jensen winks. “Your cars now.”
I view the lot. “My debt.”
After Mr. Jensen drives off, I get to work sorting through folders, trying to find a way to make sense of the numbers. Dad’s desk drawer is locked, but after rummaging through the shop, I find the key and yank it open. Papers he’s hidden proclaiming me as the owner and five empty bottles of whiskey stare up at me. I scream. I surprise myself when I smash the first bottle on the floor.
Working hard, yeah right.
I break another bottle, and the stench drifts into the room, the scent that ruined our lives. I grab the third bottle and am about to crash that too when a silver frame appears beneath it. It’s a picture from the day he opened Skar’s Auto. Mr. Jensen is there, Mom by his side, and…I sigh. On his arm, is me. I’m about two years old, laughing and reaching up to him. He doesn’t look at the camera but smiles back at me. This was taken the day he realized his dream, his luxury dealership. He looks so happy here. What happened to him?
Next to his signature on the documents, the date means I was two years old when Dad signed these. Was this a part of some revenge plan, or did he believe this would be a success?
I bury my head in my hands. Then I notice the poster I’ve made for the station wagon peeking out of Dad’s trash can. It’s ripped to shreds. My design and my dream. Destroyed.
I won’t be able to attend any more design classes if I’m to have any chance of paying off deb
ts and going to DAP in the fall. I text Miss Ask explaining what’s happened and she replies immediately.
“Your father did what? I am sorry I didn’t reach out to you. You seemed so sad last time we worked on your design. I hope to see you soon, and know that you are always welcome in my class or to talk. Miss Ask.”
She did ask if something was wrong, but I pretended, as I always do, that I was fine to get her off my back. She couldn’t have helped anyways when all she focused on was how great Dad was.
I throw the picture in a bag, followed by my ripped poster, then I sweep up the glass and take the bag out to the Porsche. I grab the car’s door handle.
“Need a hand?”
William’s behind me, flashing his white smile. He doesn’t seem to flinch at my purple bruised face. “You all right?”
A gust of wind wraps my hair around my face, and I jerk it off to the side. “What are you doing here?” Joy bubbles inside me from seeing him.
“I had to see you, and Nana told me you’d be here.” He takes the bag from me, places it down on the ground and takes my hands in his. “Why aren’t you resting?”
“I couldn’t lie there, my thoughts about Mom, Dad, this…” I point around the lot but cringe from the pain in my arm. “I need something to take my mind off what’s happening.” Like you.
“Can I help? I’m not thrilled at the thought of you here by yourself with your father running free.”
I haven’t even thought about that. “Dad’s doing what he can to get rid of this place, so I don’t think he’ll return.” I shake the bag. “His whiskey’s run out.”
William looks at the lot. “You need some grass to hold the dust down. I’ll go get you some seeds.”
“No, don’t. Dad’s waiting to…” Am I seriously about to stop him from helping me because Dad wants to asphalt the lot?
What’s wrong with me?
“Thanks.”
Why hadn’t I come up with that idea? Grass will keep the dust down, and save both time and water from cleaning the endless rows of cars.
When William returns, he’s bought enough grass seeds to fill a town, and without asking, he gets to work moving cars out of the way. It takes all day, but with his help, we manage to plant grass seeds on the entire lot.
William wipes the sweat off his forehead and looks to the sky. “It’s supposed to rain tonight, so you’ll have grass in no time.”
I have to concentrate to hear what he’s saying. The way his hair’s ruffled from work, how he wipes the sweat dripping down his perfect neck soaking the top of his T-shirt, how the muscles in his arms bulge through…
Oh my.
“I have to visit Mom. Cross your fingers for me.” I open the Porsche.
“What am I crossing them for?”
I explain about Mom’s memory loss, and he crosses his fingers on both hands. “I’m crossing my toes too. I’m so sorry for you.”
“Thank you for helping me today. It’s been a lot these few days.”
William follows me over to the door and stops me from getting in. “I quit my job in the city, so if you want a hand tomorrow, I’ll be here.”
My eyes water.
Why do you like me? I even hung up on you yesterday. This doesn’t make any sense.
“William?”
He steps closer to me, and the same feelings of losing control I felt saying goodbye to him in Oslo flush through me. Only this time, I don’t want to escape him, avoid his kiss. I want him to kiss me. Have him closer with his body forcing mine in place.
He licks his lips and lifts his hand to the back of my head. “Amalie?” Grabbing my hair gently, he holds my head, tilting it slightly to the right. “Can I kiss you now?”
I grin. “Ye…” His lips are on mine, soft yet determined and my entire body heats up when he pulls me close.
I lift my arms to wrap them around him, but the pain is too intense, and I flinch. “I’m sorry,” I say.
He kisses my cheek. “Go see your Mom. I’ll be back tomorrow, hoping to practice kissing you some more.”
Him mentioning Mom removes all romance in me and I’m freezing. Mom will remember me today. If not, it won’t be long. I’m sure of it. That belief is my lifeboat now. I’ll drown without it.
“See you tomorrow.”
I pick up Nana on my way to the hospital, and we meet Dr. Rose who is just leaving when I knock on her office door. “Can we see Mom?”
“Amalie? Aren’t you resting?”
An elderly couple walks past me and gasps when they see my face. Nana does a great job pretending not to notice. After hours spent with William, I have almost forgotten what I look like. “Is she better?”
We walk with her to Mom’s room. She’s eating, and Dr. Rose walks in with Nana but keeps the door slightly open so I can see. “Celina?” Nana takes off her gray wool coat and hangs it by the door. “The young woman is back to see you. Can I let her in?”
Mom smiles. “My daughter?”
My heart beats faster; my grin grows wider. She remembers me. It’s all just been a few bad days.
I knew this couldn’t last.
Putting her fork down on the side of her plate, Mom tilts her head. “I’d rather not have any visitors now. Thank you.”
If a heart can explode, mine does. Dr. Rose told me that Mom needs to feel safe, trust me again. So, I push my way past the doctor. Standing next to Mom, I can’t find any words. Contempt fills her eyes, and the mother I know is gone. I stutter. “You and I have many of the same injuries, so I wanted to see how you are.”
Mom sits back. “How kind of you. However, I am in the middle of my dinner, so…” She continues to eat, ignoring me.
I want to shake her, scream for her to go back to herself.
Nana takes a seat next to her bed. “Perhaps you…”
Mom holds up her hand, silencing her with a hard stare. “How could you let yourself go like this? No wonder you embarrassed me when I was growing up. I’ll bet you still live in Årøysund, as well, in that dreadful old house, am I right?”
Nana smiles. “I do live in Årøysund. But not in your childhood home.”
Mom rolls her eyes demonstratively like a teenager would. Like Josefine would at her father. “Why haven’t you moved into the city? Made a real life for yourself.”
“I have a wonderful life, Celina. And so do you.”
“In the city, I hope,” Mom says.
Nana’s rubbing her eyes when she gestures for me to leave the room. I hate to leave her behind but she seems to want to break the news to Mom alone, so I exit with Dr. Rose. When the door closes, Nana’s muffled voice sounds in the hallway followed by a scream from Mom and words I can’t make out.
“That’s not my mother,” I say.
Nana exits and closes the door behind her as Dr. Rose explains. “Personality changes may occur in some cases. Some more severe than others, I’m afraid.”
Standing there outside Mom’s room, I feel useless. “I’ll try again tomorrow.”
At Skar’s Auto the next morning, the ground is wet from the rain that has poured down all night. William parks his car behind the rows of luxury cars now lining the drive from the main road. Seeing him makes me smile. He’s wearing jeans and a green hoodie highlighting the green in his eyes. His hair is back to its usual styled look, parted on the side and not a hair out of place.
But not for long.
He lifts me in his strong arms, and I don’t care about the pain in my shoulders, I wrap my arms around him. His soft lips meet mine, and I dangle in his grip, kissing, until my body jerks in pain. “I’m sorry.” I want to ruffle his hair, but now it seems like that moment is gone.
He lowers me to the ground with a mischievous smile on his face. “I’ll wait a little carrying you over the threshold then.”
Like people do after they get married? “Yeah, let’s wait a while.” I laugh. I don’t know why he’s joking about that, and I don’t care. He’s here, with me, to help. “Thank you for coming
.”
William glances at the luxury cars lining the road as we walk up to the shop. “It’s a good thing this is a safe area. If not, these cars could be stolen pretty easily now.” He sneaks his hand into mine and as if we’ve held hands for fifty years; our fingers braid together perfectly.
What was he saying again?
Oh, cars.
“They all have trackers. Thieves wouldn’t get too far.”
Inside the shop, I make us coffee, and we sit at my desk. The odor of whiskey still lingers in the air from the bottles I broke yesterday, reminding me of Dad, and his father. I can’t believe his parents haven’t reached out to me once since this happened. Family. Dad was right. His family is only good for looking good in a frame on the wall. They’re certainly not here for me now.
William looks around. “So, what do you want to do with this place?”
I shrug. “Sell it? The debt is higher than the value so that won’t happen. I guess I have to do my best to sell cars until I know how much debt is left to pay off.” I sip my coffee. It’s too hot and burns my tongue which has a chain effect of reminding my body I’m wounded, and everything hurts.
“It’s really not a location to have a car dealership like this. A scrapyard, sure, but if I wanted to buy a Porsche, I wouldn’t go here. It would be great for real estate, actually. Do you own that land, as well?”
I glance over my shoulder to the shed on the hill behind the shop. “Yes. Dad wanted the shop to be there but wasn’t allowed to, and he’s been angry about it ever since.”
Under the desk, heat from William’s leg almost touching mine is like having an electric current close, like my leg is a magnet wanting to be drawn to his. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, but there’s something about being here with him, with Dad hopefully gone, my life flipped upside down and William being way out of my league that makes him thrilling.
“It might be worth checking into,” William says.
I laugh. “If anything here has value, Dad would have taken advantage of that a long time ago.”
William shrugs. “You never know. Mind if I snoop around?”
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