New recruits arrive today. For the past nine months there has been just me and Tucker. Now don’t get me wrong. I love my boy like a brother. But being around only him for so long without any chicks around can drive a brother crazy.
These fresh fish came from China, Canada, and England. There were approximately 15 of them. The only chick was from England and she was a giant! She stood around 6’4,” and looked like someone dressed a bull in drag. But we had been cooped up here so long that she looked more like Emma Peel. As soon as she arrived I made plans to get at her. I walked on over to her and then my brain caught fire. Tucker was trying to trip me and embarrass me in front of her! But since I’m a brother I just turned it into a smooth ass stroll. I heard him sigh behind me as I welcomed her to the project.
“Hey, baby,” I said using my smoothest voice. “The name’s L.T.”
“What’s ‘L.T’ stand for?” she asked with a sexy ass English accent. I’ve had White chicks before but none this damned...big.
“Loose Testicles,” Tucker said behind me. “My name is Raves. Tucker Raves.” “We call him Red Eye,” I said. “Why Red Eye?” she asked. “You don’t wanna know,” I replied. “So what’s your name, honey?”
“Emily Roughtiron,” she said. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.” She shook each of our hands. She had a grip like steel.
“‘Roughtiron?” I asked. “Like a fence?”
“Something like that,” she said as she tensed up suddenly. I looked behind me and The Corps was making his way near. Emily was about to salute him when I slapped her hand back down. She looked at me confused.
“That shit don’t fly here,” I told her. “I see you have met our two best students,” The Corps said to Emily as they shook hands. “We’re your only students,” Tucker said which made Emily smile. Jesus, she had horrible teeth. “Allow Mrs. Hecksford to show you in, Miss Roughtiron,” The Corps said as Mrs. Hecksford
appeared out of thin air. Not actually. I just didn’t hear her arrive. She had her child and it was not a girl as she suspected but a boy. Damn it. Appears my plan would have to wait. I know she’ll have another kid. I don’t get how that fool, her husband, could keep her satisfied. I have seen the way she looks at me. I also see the way her husband looks at me.
“Pleased to meet you,” Mrs. Hecksford said as she and Emily walked away. “So what do you think?” The Corps asked.
“She’s a fucking mammoth,” I said. “I give her one week,” Tucker said. “What?” I asked. “Aren’t you White folks supposed to stick together?” “Not anymore,” Tucker replied. “We had a meeting. There was fighting. Words were crossed.
Now it’s every man for himself.” “Sorry to hear that,” I said. The Corps just looked at each of us as if we were silly kids. Fuck
him. Can’t help it if he ain’t got no sense of humor. Emily Roughiron was killed during a physical three days later. Now, she wasn’t killed doing
anything crazy. The way the project is set up there is almost no way for women to survive the weird shit they pump into you. I can’t explain it. But there is something about the genetics and shit that women have that totally fucks with them. I am sure that if The Corps could he would have turned Mrs. Hecksford into a killing machine. Now, I say Emily was “killed” as opposed to “died” during a physical because going into it The Corps knew the amount of risks she was taking. She didn’t. Mr. Hecksford didn’t exactly give her any warning.“You may feel some, uh, slight discomfort.”
Ain’t that a bitch? That’s like saying to somebody right before you drop a hot ass iron on their back “You may feel a slight tingle.” Can you tell that I don’t like him? I knew that he was a closeted alcoholic. With these crazy ass new senses my ability to smell had almost tripled. Yeah, that may not sound like much but nothing smells better than bacon time three! There were fourteen other recruits for Mr. Hecksford to play with and they all survived their physicals. Some better than others.
The next week 13 of the 14 surviving recruits died. At this rate it would be just me and Tucker again by next Saturday. The Corps was growing anxious. The other military academies that we had done “favors” for were slow on the get-back. They wanted to see some results before they sent their best fighters to some Mickey Mouse ass project that produced more deaths that success.
If they only knew what was about to happen. Kilo Sierra Echo.
You never appreciate terms and quotes until you actually see examples of them. Tucker and I, well, we were now living, breathing examples of such sayings like “The thing that should not be,”, “abomination,”, “freaks of nature,”, and “walking death.” The Corps, unsatisfied with Australia’s slowness in sending recruits sent us there to show them what they had missed out on. I had no problem fucking that country up. Did you know that they used to use it as a prison? Seriously. And don’t get me started on the freaky ass animals they have there. A kangaroo ain’t nothing but a giant fucking rat that can fight back.
The plan, if you can call it that was simple: Fuck up as much as possible as fast as possible. The Corps let us know that we would be under heavy fire. He also let us know that this mission was paid for with “black money” given by both the US government and Asia. I took offense to the term “black money.” I guess the only thing you could get with “white money” was candy, bunnies, and motherly hugs. “Black money” can get folks killed.
“Before I give you two the secret code words I want you to realize the danger that you are in,” Mr. Hecksford shouted above the blades of the helicopter. “Once you say the code words you may or may not remember lose control of motor functions.”
“Meaning?” I asked. “We may shit ourselves,” Tucker answered. “Not exactly,” Mr. Hecksford said. “But you may not be the same person you are now. I can’t
explain it.” He rubbed his temples and licked his lips. This guy was dying for a drink. “Stop with all this suspenseful shit,” I said. “Tell us the code word.” “Uh, Kilo, Sierra and Echo,” Mr. Hecksford said. “That’s it?” Tucker asked. “Kilo Sierra...”
“No!” Mr. Hecksford shouted. “Not here! Not now! Jesus, do you have any idea what you almost did?!”
“What?” I asked. “All he did was say ‘Kilo Sierra...’“ “Sweet Lord,” Mr. Hecksford moaned. “What was Watson thinking using the two of you?” “I don’t know, Sherlock, but we’re ready to do the damned thing.” I was getting tired of looking
at this mealy mouthed fool and wanted to break some shit. Mr. Hecksford handed us a yellow pill. Tucker was about to pop it into his mouth when Mr. Hecksford shook his head furiously.
“Those are for killing yourself!” he shouted. “If you are in trouble and would rather die than be captured use those. If You’re, uh, mentally capable of it.” Tucker and I looked at one another and pitched the pills from the helicopter. Mr. Hecksford’s mouth dropped. I strapped on my parachute and stretched my arms. Tucker tapped me on the shoulder and smiled. We both dropped our parachutes to the floor and leaped out of the helicopter. “Insane!” Mr. Hecksford screamed as we rocketed down towards the earth.
Tucker looked over at me, his hair flapping on his head as he posed like Superman. I tried to laugh and air shot into my mouth making me cough. I was headed down feet first. It was bright and hot in the middle of the day. An army base surrounded by jeeps and a few planes grow larger below
us. Tucker saluted me and I him. Then he let loose a beam, striking a row of jeeps. They exploded and we could hear alarms blaring even at this height. Damn, I wish I had some kinda weapon! Armed with only colorful language I was gonna have to do a lot of bad shit in a short amount of time to scare these backwoods motherfuckers. Tucker continued hitting more and more jeeps and we could see soldiers pouring out of their barracks. This should be interesting.
Tucker reached for my hand and I took it. He began spinning, making me half dizzy. We started spiraling and then he released me. I shot at a 45 degree angle towards a tower. Cool. As I aimed at a large window I adjusted myself to enter
feet first. So of course my body kept moving so that I was now aimed at it back first. What the fuck, man? Then it dawned on me that this may be some special government issued glass, thicker than normal. Then I remembered that I was in the planet’s equivalent to Watt’s and felt safer. I crashed through the glass as if it were made of paper and hit a control board. Two generals and six grunts looked stunned as I rose from the ground. One of the grunts wet himself.
“Has anyone seen my dog?” I asked. They just stared at me. Outside I could hear gunfire and explosions. Tucker had landed safely and was making his presence felt. I saw the semi-automatic weapons they all carried and moved fast. I practically slid across the floor and shouldered one of the soldiers. He flew hard against a door, stopping more of them from entering.
“Who are you?” one of the generals asked. He looked like Col. Sanders, which made me feel bad about killing him soon.
“My name?” I asked. “My name is Black Belt Jones!” I snatched his rifle and began firing wildly. Their bodies jerked like puppets on a string. They were all too shocked by a big Black dude landing from the sky to even react. This was too easy. Then a wall exploded. Shielding my eyes from the concrete and glass that flew at me, I could make out the shape of a man. He stepped through looking like Crocodile Dundee on PCP.
“G’day,” he said. “Name’s Nigel. Sorry about this.” Then he punched at the air. Just before I was about to laugh at this fool I was thrown from the window and headed outside towards the blazing battle outside. What the fuck was going on?
This motherfucker “Thunderpunched” me! I went tumbling out the window feeling like the biggest jackass this side of the Atlantic. As I flipped upside down I saw nothing but fire and heard screaming coming from every direction. I had to start pulling my weight. Tucker was out here taking on an army while I was having trouble with this koala on steroids.
As I landed hard on my back I saw this Nigel bastard flying out of the shattered glass. I rolled to my stomach and launched myself up to greet him. We collided like two fucking buildings crumbling over each other. I wrapped my arm around Nigel’s neck and he rabbit punched me in the ribs. As he beat a rhythm out on me I squeezed as hard as I could. He just smiled. We crumpled to the ground and released each other.
“Nice moves,” Nigel said. “Reports weren’t lying about you, mate.” “Reports?” I asked. “What fucking reports?” I had to shout above the explosions behind us. “Maybe later,” Nigel said. “Right now I’m itching to get in a scrap, right?” He slapped his hands
together and smiled at me. All of his front teeth were missing and he stuck his tongue between the gaps.
“You are ugly as fuck,” I said. “Anyone ever tell you that?”
“Ay,” he said. “Me mother.” He kicked at the air and I jumped to the side. A few feet behind me a burning jeep flipped over. “Fast one, you!”
“How the fuck you get ‘suped up?” I asked. As far as I knew there weren’t any other projects going on around the world. Maybe The Corps didn’t know as much as he thought or maybe he didn’t tell as much as he knew. Either way, I now had to deal with this drizzling shit of a mess. Nigel, instead of answering, threw a dozen punches in the air. I could hear them pounding the wreckage around me. One finally caught me in the shoulder. I spun around and smacked the ground. Nigel
began to run as a beam hit where he just stood. Tucker came running up to me. “Where the hell he come fro––,” Tucker began as he was sent flying back. “Welcome!” Nigel shouted from behind an undamaged car. I ran towards him and shoved the car.
It grinded against the cement, making the tires explode. I pushed against the car until it started flipping over. With an extra little blast from Tucker it slammed the car against the wall. Nigel threw a punch and Tucker blasted it out of the air. Nigel screamed.
“Hey, Red!” I shouted. “This shit works both ways!” It seems that hitting the invisible punch hurt Nigel. Tucker started wielding the car to the wall as Nigel fought to free himself. I heard a commotion behind us and left Tucker to Nigel. I ran towards some advancing soldiers and amplified the project up. My brain sizzled as I smashed into the group. They tried to hold me back but that shit wasn’t gonna work. I kept on pushing until they started screaming. I didn’t know why until the ones towards the back caught fire. Seems I shoved them right into the burning shit Tucker had started.
“Jones,” I heard someone whisper in my ear. I spun around and there was Hollister. I damned near screamed. He had a beard down to his chest. He grabbed me by the hand. The next moment we were next to Tucker who was admiring his handiwork with Nigel, who still was alive but trapped between the car and wall. Hollister tapped Tucker on the back and we all disappeared.
One moment we were on a beach. The next we were in the air above what appeared to be New York. Then there was screaming. I wanted to close my eyes but couldn’t. Hell. This was Hell. Tucker started blasting at what looked like beasts and creatures. They almost laughed as he hit them. The next moment we were back at the project in The Corps office. Hollister disappeared leaving me and Tucker standing there looking like idiots.
“What...?” The Corps asked. Behind us Mrs. Hecksford stood nude with a blank expression on her face.
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